Pacing and suspense
MissKurtz
problem with just laying out all the clues before page 50. There's no
surprises in my script. At first I get these ideas for what I believe to be a
great movie and then bam...page 50 or so I've already exposed the killers and
everything. I love the movies that have hidden twists and surprises like
Heaven's Prisoners, Suicide Kings, etc...
Thanks,
Lisa Morgan
Ed Lake
Lisa,
Actually, I think this is a routine problem. Since YOU know what
happens, you have a tendency to make every character in the script go
direct to the solutions. Try laying it out as an outline, and put the
clues later into the story. Another way around this problem is to try
writing it as a treatment so that you can arrange things so that the
clues are not so clear and people don't realize what they mean until
later in the story.
Basically, it's a problem eliminated through planning.
Ed
NMS
MissKurtz <miss...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:19991205104416...@ng-fr1.aol.com...
> Does anyone have advice about how to pace a suspense script? I've got a
> problem with just laying out all the clues before page 50. There's no
> surprises in my script. At first I get these ideas for what I believe to
be a
> great movie and then bam...page 50 or so I've already exposed the killers
and
> everything. I love the movies that have hidden twists and surprises like
> Heaven's Prisoners, Suicide Kings, etc...
> Thanks,
> Lisa Morgan
The thing you need to remember is, in stories like this, and mysteries
generally, there are always, actually, two stories going on. The first story
is the killer's story -- what he did, why, how, and how he conceals it. But
that story we don't see. What we see is the "second" story -- the story of
the protagonist trying to figure out the first story.
But, inevitably, the protagonist doesn't see everything plainly, or, more
importantly, chronologically. He may have all the pieces of the puzzle
except one and it may make no sense to him, or to us -- or may lead us to a
completely false conclusion -- until he discovers the final piece -- which
he may not until near the end of the movie.
Think about "The Conversation" --
(SPOILER ALERT)
Gene Hackman goes through the entire movie thinking that Cindy Williams and
Harrison Ford (I think it was Harrison Ford) are going to be murdered by her
industrialist husband, when, in fact, something entirely different has been
going on.
All of the clues are there, but the revelation hinges on the *pronunciation*
of a single word, which Hackman doesn't discover until the very end -- the
difference between the recorded phrase, "He'd kill us if he had the
chance" -- implying that she's afraid that they'll be killed, and "He'd kill
US if he had the chance" -- a justification for their plan to kill her
husband.
============
You need to think in terms not only of the 'on-screen' story -- the
protagonist's search for the solution -- but also in terms of the
'off-screen' story -- the murderer's plan and what he's done, and continues
to do, to protect himself.
Also, in strictly practical terms -- if your story is ending on page 50, it
suggests that you may need an additional big, second act complication --
that is, a lengthy "sub-problem" that needs to be addressed in order to
advance to the next step in the solution to the "big" problem.
So if you need to get the kid out of the well and, in order to do it they
have to dig a shaft next to the real well and, somehow they manage to
achieve this and bring the child up into the light on page fifty -- you need
an additional "big" problem that they need to address somewhere in the
second act -- like the well starts filling up with water and both tunnels
start filling up and they have to get pumping equipment down -- well, you
get the idea. There are little problems that can be solved in a scene or
two, and there are big problems that may take fifteen or twenty scenes to
resolve. You need one of the latter sorts of problems, somewhere in the
second act, the solution to which, of course, would provide a critical, but
not a final leg up in respect to solving the "main" problem.
NMS
Blair P. Houghton
of a "whodunit".
The Columbo movies are "whydunits". You know, and Columbo knows,
from almost the first scene, who committed the crime. But he
needs to figure out the motive, and sometimes the means, for it--
though Banacek was more the "howdunit" vehicle. Makes me wonder
if NBC considered a series of "wheredunits" and "whatdidtheydos".
--Blair
"Ahh...I'm sorry, lemme ask ya just
one more question, and then I'll go..."
Ang Blanco
>surprises in my script. At first I get these ideas for what I believe to be
>a
>great movie and then bam...page 50 or so I've already exposed the killers and
>everything.
Hmm. Pacing and suspense. Does your protagonist have any subplot
distractions/delays to hold him/her back from solving the crime? Do both the
protagonist and the audience have to filter through a few red herrings?
Ed's suggestion of a treatment will help as will NWS's coments.
Angie
Ang Blanco
Sorry, I meant NMS's comments.
Angie
cmonkee
murderer but stands in the way of your protagonist. Scenes with this
character are often emotionally charged and filled with great conflict,
useful for character exposition and tightening the dramatic tension as well
as putting another rung on the ladder of suspense.
Ed Lake wrote in message <384A917B...@newsguy.com>...
>MissKurtz wrote:
>>
>> Does anyone have advice about how to pace a suspense script? I've got a
>> problem with just laying out all the clues before page 50. There's no
>> surprises in my script. At first I get these ideas for what I believe to
be a
>> great movie and then bam...page 50 or so I've already exposed the killers
and
>> everything. I love the movies that have hidden twists and surprises like
>> Heaven's Prisoners, Suicide Kings, etc...
>> Thanks,
>> Lisa Morgan
>
NMS
Jeri Jo Thomas <kata...@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:MPG.12b4b147e...@news.earthlink.net...
> NMS said ...
>
> -> Gene Hackman goes through the entire movie thinking that Cindy Williams
and
> -> Harrison Ford (I think it was Harrison Ford) are going to be murdered
by her
> -> industrialist husband, when, in fact, something entirely different has
been
> -> going on.
> ->
> Not Harrison Ford, he was Duvall's henchman (in the 900 dollar
> suit). It was the guy who was Bette Midler's soldier lover in
> "The Rose". Sorry I can't think of his name. John...something.
> --
> <*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*>
> Jeri Jo & Little Garcia Bear--
> Stop by my web page
> http://home.earthlink.net/~katana365/jjthomas/
> <*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*>
By one of those strange twists of fate, the movie was actually on and I saw
part of it shortly after I wrote the above. Not only was I wrong about
Harrison Ford, it was the guy who gave the "kill US" line, not Cindy
Williams.
But I still happen to think that Hackman's search of the hotel room is one
of the scariest scenes in movie history.
NMS
>
Gene Harris
Forrest.
Gene Harris
Don Vasicek
>
> Does anyone have advice about how to pace a suspense script? I've got a
> problem with just laying out all the clues before page 50. There's no
> surprises in my script. At first I get these ideas for what I believe to be a
> great movie and then bam...page 50 or so I've already exposed the killers and
> everything. I love the movies that have hidden twists and surprises like
> Heaven's Prisoners, Suicide Kings, etc...
> Thanks,
> Lisa Morgan
Lisa,
You might want to look more deeply at your main character and your other
characters. What is his/her inner conflict? How does it relate to the
theme and the plot? A subplot or two can help lengthen your story so
that you can set up twists and turns to keep your audience guessing.
Viki King's "How To Write A Movie In 21 Days" is very helpful in setting
up a plot so that you don't run out at page 50. It is precise for
creating twists and turns regardless of the genre you're writing, let
alone, suspense thrillers.
Hope this helps.
Best Regards,
Don Vasicek
http://www.screenwritersutopia.com/99/articles_99.htmal
Jim Guinn
backbone of a suspensful plot that ends on page 50? Now, as Don suggests,
you can explore your characters more deeply. Where do they come from? What
do they want (besides solving the mystery)? What other conflicts can be
introduced? Perhaps one of them should develop a hindering trait that makes
discovering the clues (or dealing with the clues) much more challenging for
them?
Have fun!
Jame Guinn
Don Vasicek wrote in message <384EBF...@earthlink.net>...
wcma...@compuserve.com
Plot twists. Come up with a bunch of good twists and make sure they happen
regularly in your story (through outlining). You'll want a big twist at the
end of act 1, and a big twist at the end of act 2.
With plot twists - think of your script as a Chinese Box Puzzle. Each twist
opens one box to reveal another box.
Hard to tell from a post, but your problem may be that you don't have ENOUGH
plot/conflict. That you have a simple problem stretched for 110 pages when it
could easily be solved in 30 pages. Don has good advice on that - look at
your main conflict and make sure there is an emotional component to it. This
creates a character arc and makes the problem much harder to solve because it
requires character growth.
I have a couple of thrillers on my homepage, BLIND TRUST and THE COMPLEX.
BLIND TRUST has been sold, so somebody must have liked it. They are very
different kinds of thrillers, but both have suspense scenes and plot twists.
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/wcmartell/script.htm
WARNING - ADVERTISEMENT BELOW!
I do an online course at Script Magazine's site on Thrillers & Action that
includes information on writing suspense scenes and plot twists. The next
class is December 15, and it's the last class at $25... next year these
classes will take 3 days and cost $75 and won't repeate as often (some will
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You can find info on the classes by going to:
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Then clicking on the "online classes" from the navigation column to the left.
- Bill
--
The Secrets Of Action Screenwriting
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/wcmartell
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