Thimerosal Linked to Economy
Vaccine-Man
AP - Economists at the conservative Heritage Foundation have
discovered that thimerosal, a preservative used in some vaccines, has
a positive effect on economic performance.
In the early 1990s, the U. S. economy was in the middle of a downturn.
However, shortly thereafter, two new vaccines were introduced to
immunize children against Hemophilus influenza type B and hepatitis B
virus. The introduction of these vaccines increased the overall
exposure of children to thimerosal, a molecule that contains mercury.
Shortly after the introduction of these vaccines, the U. S. economy
began its longest expansion in history, spanning the presidency of
Bill Clinton. Some now speculate that these vaccines were initiated by
a clandestine group within the Democratic party.
Initially, the link was not clear. But in 1999, a medical advisory
group recommended that thimerosal be removed from childhood vaccines
and the link to the economy became convincing. After the removal of
thimerosal the U. S. economy declined dramatically. "This shows
conclusively that thimerosal use is tied to the performance of the
economy," said Michael Polionis of the Heritage Foundation.
However, scientists have argued that causality has not been
established. "Nonsense," said Polionis, "no matter how you examine it
the link is obvious."
There are now calls for a Federal investigation on this issue. One
anonymous researcher who was on the advisory committee admitted, "It's
completely obvious that we made a bad call when we recommended removal
of thimerosal. Now we're paying the price."
Some economists are now calling for the immediate reintroduction of
thimerosal into childhood vaccines, insisting that it is the only way
that the economy can start to grow again.
Even Republican strategists are encouraged by the results. Carl Rove,
an advisor to President Bush, has already begun to examine how
thimerosal can be put into other consumables in an effort to assure
the reelection of the President. He said, "It's the thimerosal,
stupid."
Republican researchers are now attempting to optimize the dose of
thimerosal and have suggested that the miniscule amounts that children
had previously received was too small. "If we can put ten times more
thimerosal in the vaccines we can climb out of this recession in a
couple of months, give every American a $10,000 tax refund, and pay
for the upcoming invasion of Iraq" said one insider who refused to be
identified.
Additionally, attorneys representing Major League Baseball pitchers
have also joined in the fray. Since thimerosal has been removed from
vaccines the number of home runs hit each year has dramatically
increased. In recent years Mark Maguire, Sammy Sosa and Barry Bonds
have each broken the old home run record held since 1961 by Roger
Maris. "The removal of thimerosal has given hitters an unfair
advantage," said Robert Goldstein, the attorney representing the
pitchers. "We will pursue litigation if necessary to rectify this
injustice."
Mark Probert
There is one anti-mercury blatherer in another newsgroup who probably had a
cow whan I posted this in that group.
"Vaccine-Man" <zigg...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:cfebb4bb.02121...@posting.google.com...