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Bloody Viking

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Dec 22, 2000, 7:01:16 PM12/22/00
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Sharon (cros...@flash.net) wrote:

: Dear Diary:

: Aug. 1
: Moved to our new home in ILLINOIS. It is so beautiful here.
: The country is so picturesque. Can hardly wait to see it
: covered with snow. I LOVE IT HERE.

[snip for brevity]

: DEC. 22
: More of that white shit fell last night. I've got
: blisters on my hands from shoveling. I think the
: snowplow hides around the corner and waits until I'm
: done shoveling. That %$#@^*&!

: DEC. 25
: "White Christmas" my busted ass. Mother *%@#!*& snow.
: If I ever get my hands on that son-of-a-bitch who
: drives that snowplow. I swear I will castrate the dumb
: bastard. Don't know why they don't use more salt on
: this (&*^%$# ice.

: DEC. 28
: More of the same shit last night. Been inside since
: Christmas Day except for when "Snowplow Harry" comes
: by. Can't go anywhere. The car is buried in a mountain
: of white shit. The weatherman says expect another 10
: inches of this shit tonight. Do you know how many
: shovels full of snow 10 inches is?

: JAN. 1
: Happy *%$#@&* New Year. The weatherman was wrong
: (again). We got 34 fucking inches of snow this time.
: At this rate it won't melt until the 4th of July. The
: snowplow got stuck down the road and shit for brains
: had the balls to come to the door and ask to borrow my
: shovel. I told him I broke 6 shovels already, shoveling
: out the shit he plowed into my driveway. I broke the
: 7th shovel over his %#$@*&^ head.

: JAN. 4
: Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store
: to get food and on the way back a deer ran out in
: front of the car and I hit the *%#@^%. Did about
: $3,000.00 damage to the car. Wish the hunters would
: have killed them all last November.

: May 3
: Took the car to the garage in town today. Would you
: believe the body is rotting away from all the (*&%#^@
: salt they keep dumping all over the roads. It really
: looks like a piece of shit.

: May 10
: Moved to Florida today. I can't imagine why anyone in
: their right &^#$@#& mind would want to live in the God
: forsaken State of ILLINOIS!!

This winter is an OLD FASHIONED (read: pre- global warming) winter! If you
think it's bad in Illinois this year, try _Minnesota_!

Since you moved to Florida, you now get to shovel CHADS out of your driveway
every Election Day. If you hate shoveling snow or chads, wait until SUMMER in
the Heatstroke State. Sure, it can be a bitch to dress for -26F, but unless
you have an aircionditioned space suit, there's no dressing for 98F with 90
percent humidity. Also, what you don't pay in heating bills, you get to pay
in electric bills in summer. Also, sure your car will start in Florida... but
how long will it go until boilover? And don't forget the fact that Florida has
these funny storms that put the Windy City to shame. They have names like
"Andrew", "Floyd", etc.

After one summer in Florida, you'd be PRAYING for a good Chicago winter. I
spent one year in Orlando Florida. I get sadistic enjoyment when Orlando's
temp dips below the dreaded freezing mark. Takes getting God's A/C recharged
with some good freon. Florida residents don't know what cold is. Fucking
wusses. They wouldn't know what to do if it was ever cold enough to put on the
doorstep _a glass of liquid freon-12_. (boiling point is -26F at room
pressure)

And physics has something to say: It's always easier to make heat than it is
to make cold. The corollary of this law is that you can dress up to retain
heat in cold weather but you must dissipate body heat rapidly enough in a hot
environment or you overheat. Same for homes. A machine to make cold is always
more complex than a machine to make heat. i.e. a flame and fan and ducts makes
heat, but A/C requires a compressor, two coils, an expansion valve, two fans,
and ductwork, plus a drain for condensed moisture. This is illustrated
beautifully by a 1,000 watt / 4,000 BTU space heater costs $20 but a 4,000 BTU
window A/C is $200. That cost difference reflects the physics of hot and cold
and the greater complexity of making cold by extraction of heat from the
space.


--
FOOD FOR THOUGHT: 100 calories are used up in the course of a mile run.
The USDA guidelines for dietary fibre is equal to one ounce of sawdust.
The liver makes the vast majority of the cholesterol in your bloodstream.

ghost-sniper

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Dec 22, 2000, 9:23:16 PM12/22/00
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"Bloody Viking" <nos...@ripco.com> wrote in

>Fucking wusses.

Didn't YOU say that YOU wussed out and moved back up norht ?

>They wouldn't know what to do if it was ever cold enough to put on the
> doorstep _a glass of liquid freon-12_. (boiling point is -26F at room
> pressure)

Did YOU forget that almost everybody in Florida is from UP NORTH ?
Hello ?
They moved here to get out of that expensive refrigerator called winter..
If man was meant to live in arctic regions he would have dense fur all over
his
body like the other creatures that live there.


ftwhd

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Dec 22, 2000, 10:26:37 PM12/22/00
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On 23 Dec 2000 00:01:16 GMT, nos...@ripco.com (Bloody Viking) wrote:

>
>Sharon (cros...@flash.net) wrote:
>
>: Dear Diary:
>
>: Aug. 1
>: Moved to our new home in ILLINOIS. It is so beautiful here.
>: The country is so picturesque. Can hardly wait to see it
>: covered with snow. I LOVE IT HERE.
>
>[snip for brevity]
>

No. Lets a snip it for repetitiveness. This is as old as the internet
hills, instead of inserting Illinois, insert cry me a river.. Its not
funny or original, its old shit. don't waste our time cross posting
this tripe.

Happy Holidays
Mike
UA Local 370

Bloody Viking

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Dec 22, 2000, 10:49:56 PM12/22/00
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ghost-sniper (10-...@deadcenter.com) wrote:

: Didn't YOU say that YOU wussed out and moved back up norht ?

I was FORCED down in the Heatstroke State due to the massive mistake of
joining the Navy. So, it was Duress.

: If man was meant to live in arctic regions he would have dense fur all over


: his
: body like the other creatures that live there.

That can be arranged. If you have high blood pressure, you can reinstate your
fur by means of controlled ingesting of Rogaine! Grep up on "the other
manpanzee project" on Dejanews in the old archive. I divulge the secret that
minoxidil as a blood pressure drug is available to all, with caveats. Yes,
Virginia, you too can get a Politically Correct fur coat.

Sharon

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Dec 22, 2000, 11:23:21 PM12/22/00
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Wow, I didn't say it was origional, it is a joke that I got and thought it
was funny because we have been getting a lot of snow here. I also know it
is old, I got it last year too. But I still think it is funny. :-)Sharon

"ftwhd" <ft...@fuchoffspammers.com> wrote in message
news:se684tk4bckqh4f4a...@4ax.com...

Lokari

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Dec 22, 2000, 10:28:20 PM12/22/00
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ftwhd <ft...@fuchoffspammers.com> wrote:

>No. Lets a snip it for repetitiveness. This is as old as the internet
>hills, instead of inserting Illinois, insert cry me a river.. Its not
>funny or original, its old shit. don't waste our time cross posting
>this tripe.

>Happy Holidays
>Mike
>UA Local 370

Merry fucking Christmas, "Mike".

--
www.enteract.com/~lokari

Welcome to Chinese Restaurant
Please try your Delicious Chinese food with chopsticks
the traditional and typical of chinese glorious
history and culture.

dn...@racc2000.com

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Dec 22, 2000, 11:54:20 PM12/22/00
to

>
> No. Lets a snip it for repetitiveness. This is as old as the internet
> hills, instead of inserting Illinois, insert cry me a river.. Its not
> funny or original, its old shit. don't waste our time cross posting
> this tripe.


C'mon...it was one of the first jokes i received on the internet...I
really liked seeing it again. I just changed Illinois to Northern
Michigan and forwarded it to 20 friends,

Don't be a poo-bah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Sent via Deja.com
http://www.deja.com/

Bloody Viking

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Dec 23, 2000, 12:19:40 AM12/23/00
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Sharon (cros...@flash.net) wrote:

: Wow, I didn't say it was origional, it is a joke that I got and thought it


: was funny because we have been getting a lot of snow here. I also know it
: is old, I got it last year too. But I still think it is funny. :-)Sharon

The joke could readily be done about Florida and their 3-month heatwave
summers. Add in chads for flavour.

Chicago Paddling-Fishing

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Dec 23, 2000, 4:37:21 AM12/23/00
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Bloody Viking (nos...@ripco.com) wrote:

: ghost-sniper (10-...@deadcenter.com) wrote:

: : Didn't YOU say that YOU wussed out and moved back up norht ?

: I was FORCED down in the Heatstroke State due to the massive mistake of
: joining the Navy. So, it was Duress.

I think you were lucky, a friend of mine enlisted and got sent to Iceland.
He's works in the P-3's with the $300 stainless steel toilet seats. His
word of advice, never be the first one to use the toilet when the seat is
stainless steel and your based in Iceland, but as soon as someone else
breaks down and does, make sure your next while it's still warm...

I should be getting a real depressing letter from him a a week or so, last
time he wrote on December 21st that they had 3 hours of twilight with a 30
knot wind and sleet.

<snip>

--
John Nelson
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chicago Area Paddling/Fishing Page
http://www.chicagopaddling.org http://www.chicagofishing.org
(A Non-Commercial Web Site: No Sponsors, No Paid Ads and Nothing to Sell)

HvacDrScott

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Dec 23, 2000, 6:09:57 AM12/23/00
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>: Wow, I didn't say it was origional, it is a joke that I got and thought it
>: was funny because we have been getting a lot of snow here. I also know it
>: is old, I got it last year too. But I still think it is funny. :-)Sharon
>
>The joke could readily be done about Florida and their 3-month heatwave
>summers. Add in chads for flavour

Boy, We are Never going to live down our electile disfunction.

Scott (FL resident)

Lee Babcock

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Dec 23, 2000, 10:03:19 AM12/23/00
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ghost-sniper wrote:

> Did YOU forget that almost everybody in Florida is from UP NORTH ?
> Hello ?
> They moved here to get out of that expensive refrigerator called winter..
> If man was meant to live in arctic regions he would have dense fur all over
> his
> body like the other creatures that live there.

Haven't you ever seen a nude Canadian? <g>

--
Lee Babcock
Toronto in the GWN


JWBooth

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Dec 23, 2000, 11:51:50 AM12/23/00
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-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1

Thank Florida for your 1st-place football team, BV. If it weren't for
Ocala native Daunte Culpepper throwing all those TD passes and scrambling
for all those first downs, the Vikings would be home for the holidays.
You're welcome.

Dave

- --
ROT13 the "reply to" for actual e-mail address.

TANSTAAFL

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Version: PGPfreeware 6.5.8 for non-commercial use <http://www.pgp.com>
Comment: De-fang Carnivore! Get PGP today!

iQA/AwUBOkTYJE6QdcRkUwgxEQKdaACfWR+XotEb48ZQkpaYyPImHj4nhzUAnjn8
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Bloody Viking

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Dec 23, 2000, 3:41:05 PM12/23/00
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Chicago Paddling-Fishing (j...@ripco.com) wrote:

: I think you were lucky, a friend of mine enlisted and got sent to Iceland.

You'll find lots of blondes in Iceland, all with an accent like the movie
"Fargo". Similar with Norway, Sweden, and Denmark. Where you don't want to be
is in Greenland. That super-size island owned by Denmark is C-C-COLD! It's one
big ice sheet. Nordic countries have winters like Meeniso:ta, so if you don't
like an Illinois winter, avoid places where people have Fargo type accents.
And avoid Fargo: while you're at it.

: I should be getting a real depressing letter from him a a week or so, last


: time he wrote on December 21st that they had 3 hours of twilight with a 30
: knot wind and sleet.

That's what they make those 500 watt quartz-halogen work lights for. A cheap
light box. Chicago gets 9 hours of sunlight on Dec. 21, so around the
solstice, one part of your commuting mission is a night flight. On the flip
side, that spot with the 3 hours of sunlight will on June 21 get 21 hours of
sunlight.

Bloody Viking

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Dec 23, 2000, 3:43:31 PM12/23/00
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HvacDrScott (hvacd...@aol.com) wrote:

: Boy, We are Never going to live down our electile disfunction.

Nope, not after this electoral debacle. Y'all held up the election for WEEKS.

Bloody Viking

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Dec 23, 2000, 3:45:52 PM12/23/00
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JWBooth (gnafg...@lnubb.pbz) wrote:

: Thank Florida for your 1st-place football team, BV. If it weren't for


: Ocala native Daunte Culpepper throwing all those TD passes and scrambling
: for all those first downs, the Vikings would be home for the holidays.
: You're welcome.

He got smart. He exited the Hanging Chad State!

Dusty Rhodes

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Dec 23, 2000, 4:16:06 PM12/23/00
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"Chicago Paddling-Fishing" <j...@ripco.com> wrote in message
news:921roh$r2o$2...@gail.ripco.com...

> Bloody Viking (nos...@ripco.com) wrote:
>
> : ghost-sniper (10-...@deadcenter.com) wrote:
>
> : : Didn't YOU say that YOU wussed out and moved back up norht ?
>
> : I was FORCED down in the Heatstroke State due to the massive mistake of
> : joining the Navy. So, it was Duress.
>
> I think you were lucky, a friend of mine enlisted and got sent to Iceland.

Hey, it could still be worse. A lot worse. He could be stationed in
Greenland. Remember, Iceland is green, Greenland is ice.

The inhabited parts of Iceland, pretty much a tiny swath of coastline, are
actually fairly temperate as they are warmed by ocean currents. Yes, it is
dark in the winter, but not all that cold, relatively speaking. And there's
all sorts of thermal vents around that provide plenty of direct warmth. The
inhabitants, solid Viking stock, tend also to be pretty warm.

All in all, Iceland is not such a terrible place to be. Assuming you like
fish, that is. Greenland, OTOH, is an almost completely uninhabited ice
sheet all year 'round.

Cheers,

Dusty


Max

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Dec 23, 2000, 4:36:18 PM12/23/00
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In article <9232l1$aac$1...@gail.ripco.com>, nos...@ripco.com (Bloody
Viking) wrote:

> You'll find lots of blondes in Iceland, all with an accent like the movie
> "Fargo".

Please don't throw me in that briar patch! According to reliable
sources on sci.military.naval, my other home, Icelandic ch*cks seriously
dig American men. Probably because we're a) a ticket off the ice cube,
and b) not violent alcoholics. I cannot personally attest, but icelandic
women are said to be possessed of a specific striking appearance. If
you're into steely eyed blondes, that is.

Of course, they're all violent alcoholics, too. :-/

> Where you don't want is Greenland [...] It's one big ice sheet.

I always thought it would be fun to go way out on the ice sheet and dig
tunnels and see if you came across anything interesting. Sample the ice
for trapped gasses and particulates, look for frozen vikings and
meteorites, build superman's fortress of solitude, stuff like that.

.max

--
--
Maxwell Monningh <beta...@earthlink.net>

Complicated Man

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Dec 23, 2000, 4:41:01 PM12/23/00
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nos...@ripco.com writes:
>HvacDrScott (hvacd...@aol.com) wrote:
>
>: Boy, We are Never going to live down our electile disfunction.
>
>Nope, not after this electoral debacle. Y'all held up the election for WEEKS.

GO BV!!!@

ghost-sniper

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Dec 23, 2000, 6:44:50 PM12/23/00
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"Max" <beta...@earthlink.net> wrote

>
> I always thought it would be fun to go way out on the ice sheet and dig
> tunnels and see if you came across anything interesting. Sample the ice
> for trapped gasses and particulates, look for frozen vikings and
> meteorites, build superman's fortress of solitude, stuff like that.

Damn, that looks like something I would have written ! LOL


ghost-sniper

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Dec 23, 2000, 6:49:32 PM12/23/00
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"Bloody Viking" <nos...@ripco.com> wrote in message
news:9232pj$aac$2...@gail.ripco.com...

>
> HvacDrScott (hvacd...@aol.com) wrote:
>
> : Boy, We are Never going to live down our electile disfunction.
>
> Nope, not after this electoral debacle. Y'all held up the election for
WEEKS.

Come on, not all of us live in PB, cut us a little slack here.
Hell, I'm on the west coast of FL where it is almost entirely conservative.
Didn't even know LIEberals existed til Dan Rather told me so, over and over
and over.
Airhead LIEberals are scattered through out the country.
No doubt your own state has it's share.
We should round all of them up and trade them one for one for them Iceland /
Greenland girls....
Nothing like little trenchfoot & frostbite to get the LIEberaals head on
straight. ;-)


Don Ocean

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Dec 23, 2000, 7:10:50 PM12/23/00
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Geez! That kind of advice really shoots the crap out of our winter
tourist trade!! ;-)
Don Ocean
Sioux Falls, SD
A balmy sunburning -18ºF --- Tropical windchill -67ºF
And no Fargo accent... Lips froze shut.... No accent at all!

TURTLE

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Dec 23, 2000, 8:38:33 PM12/23/00
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In article <3A453F0A...@uswest.net>,

Don Ocean <doc...@uswest.net> wrote:
> Geez! That kind of advice really shoots the crap out of our winter
> tourist trade!! ;-)
> Don Ocean
> Sioux Falls, SD
> A balmy sunburning -18ºF --- Tropical windchill -67ºF
> And no Fargo accent... Lips froze shut.... No accent at all!
>

This is turtle.

Is that from a Story made for Twightlight Zone or something.


TURTLE

Everyday is my first day in the business.
Got my e-mail address back as above .

Bloody Viking

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Dec 23, 2000, 9:13:52 PM12/23/00
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Max (beta...@earthlink.net) wrote:

: Please don't throw me in that briar patch! According to reliable

: sources on sci.military.naval, my other home, Icelandic ch*cks seriously
: dig American men. Probably because we're a) a ticket off the ice cube,
: and b) not violent alcoholics. I cannot personally attest, but icelandic
: women are said to be possessed of a specific striking appearance. If
: you're into steely eyed blondes, that is.

I make for a non-violent drunk myself. I end up being the happy drunk type.
There's not too many places left where they like Yanks, and I could always use
a sheila with a Fargo:-style accent. (: My favourite accent on a woman is
Scottish, but I suppose Nordic type will work.

Oddly, the Vikings of old are somewhat overrated. While violent as fuck on
driveabout, they were rather peaceful while parked in their home ports in
Norway, Sweden, etc. Eric The Red was quite the arsehole on driveabout,
willing to pull out the sword in a bar brawl. His son, Leif Ericsson, was the
one to drive to Greenland and probably the mainland around Y1K. Viking ships
were ragtops, making for some cold missions onboard.

: I always thought it would be fun to go way out on the ice sheet and dig

: tunnels and see if you came across anything interesting. Sample the ice
: for trapped gasses and particulates, look for frozen vikings and
: meteorites, build superman's fortress of solitude, stuff like that.

Indeed, Greenland is a spot scientists like to go to so as to get core samples
with old air. That's how we know the CO2 content of old air in the
investigation of global warming. Currently, Greenland is owned by Denmark.

Yah, you betcha it's cold there! (and yes, I can imitate the Fargo: accent)

Bloody Viking

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Dec 23, 2000, 9:31:33 PM12/23/00
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Don Ocean (doc...@uswest.net) wrote:

: Geez! That kind of advice really shoots the crap out of our winter
: tourist trade!! ;-)

Sioux Falls SD will have a better summer tourist trade come some better global
warming, like Green Bay WI and International Falls MN.

As far as accents, it's like relativity. If you're from a place with a given
accent, you will always think the residents have no accent. To a native
Chicagoan, Chicagoans have no accent. (: But if the same Chicagoan goes to
Alabama, the good ol' boys will note he has a damnyankee accent.

In my case, I'm quite sensitive to accents, as it's one way I identify people.
Being a Chicago north sider, all Chicago north siders to my ear have a bland
accent i.e. no accent. Had I been born in Green Bay, Swedes would likewise
have no or only a low-power accent as I would be born and raised with a
Swedish-like accent. Becuse I identify people in part by accent, it stands to
reason I will ultimately develop a custom accent config of my own, and I sure
did. That's what my high-powered Australian drinking accent is for! It's my
trademark in a way. In the past, I had a high-powered Alabama accent, hence my
occasional use of southernisms.

Now, all we need is an Australian manpanzee driving a stealth car. Talk about
easy to identify people! :)

Bloody Viking

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Dec 23, 2000, 9:33:34 PM12/23/00
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TURTLE (tur...@worldnetla.net) wrote:

: Is that from a Story made for Twightlight Zone or something.

Naahh. Try The X-Files.

Bloody Viking

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Dec 23, 2000, 11:31:19 PM12/23/00
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Matt Black (alb...@hotpop.com) wrote:

: They don't have such a great team this year, either.

And Chicago, in accord with proper sport procedure, has a fucked "team" in
terms of footie. Just like baseball and post-MJ basketball.

Now, if you want a REAL Chicago Bear, you need to get a poofter to drink some
Rogaine...

Geoff Gass

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Dec 24, 2000, 12:51:41 AM12/24/00
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On 23 Dec 2000 00:01:16 GMT, Bloody Viking <nos...@ripco.com> wrote:
>This winter is an OLD FASHIONED (read: pre- global warming) winter! If you
>think it's bad in Illinois this year, try _Minnesota_!

Actually, Minnesota has less snow (I'm in MN right now). It's a little
colder, but once it hits "damn, it's really fucking cold", a degree or two
doesn't make much difference.

Bloody Viking

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Dec 24, 2000, 8:19:33 AM12/24/00
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Geoff Gass (g...@tanzenmb.com) wrote:

: Actually, Minnesota has less snow (I'm in MN right now). It's a little


: colder, but once it hits "damn, it's really fucking cold", a degree or two
: doesn't make much difference.

Yeah, really. Once the temp dives below the zero mark, a degree or two doesn't
matter much. That's when the notion of dressing for the weather becomes
debatable for Chicagoans. Personally, I'll say that you can dress for sub-zero
cold as found in Meeniso:ta(tm). However, I'm rather cold tolerant compared to
normal Chicagoans, an item that would make me a better MN resident than most.

If you like record-setting cold, Chicago racked up a -27F night but MN has a
record of -60F! Compare that to Siberia, with one town that recorded -96F.
Ouch! To put this in perspective, the boiling point of Freon-12 is -26F at
room pressure, hence my one comment of having a glass of freon on the
doorstep. Freon-22 boils at -44F at room pressure, and CO2 sublimes at -108F
at room pressure. (dry ice)

The all-time record for coldest spot on Earth goes to Vostok Antarctica. The
Russians recorded a temp of -126F! Sounds like a great place for cryogenics
experiments such as DIY liquid air manufacture. Liquid oxygen would be great
for cars like nitrous only better.

Bruce Birbeck

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Dec 24, 2000, 1:21:59 PM12/24/00
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Bloody Viking wrote:

> Liquid oxygen would be great
> for cars like nitrous only better.
>

Yeah, but liquid hydrogen would work better as a fuel.
You might be on to something: hydrofuel production at the poles!
--
BBB
Zipped sig file. To unzip, click here:

Bloody Viking

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Dec 24, 2000, 2:31:25 PM12/24/00
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Bruce Birbeck (roc...@tidewater.net) wrote:

: Yeah, but liquid hydrogen would work better as a fuel.


: You might be on to something: hydrofuel production at the poles!

Think natural gas instead. If we found natural gas under the Antarctic ice
sheet, it would be easier to liquefy there than in the hot middle east, saving
energy that is used in liquefying it. Interestingly, near the north pole,
there is methane hydrates on the ocean floor.

To liquefy natural gas in a normal place, you use about 1/3 of the energy it
has in the first place. If you found it at the south pole and liquefied it
there, energy wastage would be reduced. At room pressure, natural gas boils at
about -300F, comparable to air. You would liquefy it under pressure and
refrigerate the high pressure gas to condense it. A cold place makes the
refrigeration easier.

Hydrogen is a real bitch of a gas to liquefy, with only helium being harder to
liquefy. The boiling point at room pressure is only a few degrees above
Absolute Zero, which is -459F. Also, hydrogen is not an energy _source_, only
a storage medium. It takes more energy to extract it from water than you get
when you burn it. (assuming you don't invent Fusion)

Magesteff

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Dec 24, 2000, 4:14:08 PM12/24/00
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HvacDrScott wrote:

> >The joke could readily be done about Florida and their 3-month heatwave
> >summers. Add in chads for flavour
>
> Boy, We are Never going to live down our electile disfunction.

Does this mean we get Bob Dole as a Spokesperson?
I mean, take a look at the shape of Florida....


--
Magesteff
- "Imagination is more important than
knowledge."-Albert Einstein
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Chicago Paddling-Fishing

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Dec 24, 2000, 4:54:54 PM12/24/00
to
Max (beta...@earthlink.net) wrote:
: In article <9232l1$aac$1...@gail.ripco.com>, nos...@ripco.com (Bloody
: Viking) wrote:

: > You'll find lots of blondes in Iceland, all with an accent like the movie
: > "Fargo".

: Please don't throw me in that briar patch! According to reliable
: sources on sci.military.naval, my other home, Icelandic ch*cks seriously
: dig American men. Probably because we're a) a ticket off the ice cube,
: and b) not violent alcoholics. I cannot personally attest, but icelandic
: women are said to be possessed of a specific striking appearance. If
: you're into steely eyed blondes, that is.

Hmmm, well according to him, when you put 50,000 navy personel next to a
icelandic city with a population of 4,000, the locals got tired years ago of
entertaining sailors....

: Of course, they're all violent alcoholics, too. :-/

: > Where you don't want is Greenland [...] It's one big ice sheet.

Didn't used to be... before the mini-ice age around 900AD began, the danish
colonies there were doing ok...

: I always thought it would be fun to go way out on the ice sheet and dig

: tunnels and see if you came across anything interesting. Sample the ice
: for trapped gasses and particulates, look for frozen vikings and
: meteorites, build superman's fortress of solitude, stuff like that.

They've been digging sampling holes there for years...

Bloody Viking

unread,
Dec 24, 2000, 10:23:48 PM12/24/00
to

Magesteff (mage...@bellsouth.net) wrote:
: HvacDrScott wrote:

: > >The joke could readily be done about Florida and their 3-month heatwave
: > >summers. Add in chads for flavour

: > Boy, We are Never going to live down our electile disfunction.

: Does this mean we get Bob Dole as a Spokesperson?
: I mean, take a look at the shape of Florida....

The word would be more likely "electoral" instead of "electile" dysfunction.
The latter is awful close to "erectile", hence your comment. In any case,
Florida has a definite electoral dysfunction being The Hanging Chad State as
well as being The Heatstroke State.

Linda Thompson

unread,
Dec 26, 2000, 1:46:02 AM12/26/00
to

Like it doesn't get hot in Chicago in the summer! Hardy har har. You
get the WORST of all worlds in Chicago, horrible winters, hot summers
with stinking dirty pavement, and politics that make this last election
look tame, where even the dead vote often and early, and the worlds'
worst roads. Chicago, bah, you can HAVE it!!

Bloody Viking wrote:
>

> This winter is an OLD FASHIONED (read: pre- global warming) winter! If you
> think it's bad in Illinois this year, try _Minnesota_!
>

> Since you moved to Florida, you now get to shovel CHADS out of your driveway
> every Election Day. If you hate shoveling snow or chads, wait until SUMMER in
> the Heatstroke State. Sure, it can be a bitch to dress for -26F, but unless
> you have an aircionditioned space suit, there's no dressing for 98F with 90
> percent humidity. Also, what you don't pay in heating bills, you get to pay
> in electric bills in summer. Also, sure your car will start in Florida... but
> how long will it go until boilover? And don't forget the fact that Florida has
> these funny storms that put the Windy City to shame. They have names like
> "Andrew", "Floyd", etc.
>
> After one summer in Florida, you'd be PRAYING for a good Chicago winter. I
> spent one year in Orlando Florida. I get sadistic enjoyment when Orlando's
> temp dips below the dreaded freezing mark. Takes getting God's A/C recharged
> with some good freon. Florida residents don't know what cold is. Fucking
> wusses. They wouldn't know what to do if it was ever cold enough to put on the
> doorstep _a glass of liquid freon-12_. (boiling point is -26F at room
> pressure)
>
> And physics has something to say: It's always easier to make heat than it is
> to make cold. The corollary of this law is that you can dress up to retain
> heat in cold weather but you must dissipate body heat rapidly enough in a hot
> environment or you overheat. Same for homes. A machine to make cold is always
> more complex than a machine to make heat. i.e. a flame and fan and ducts makes
> heat, but A/C requires a compressor, two coils, an expansion valve, two fans,
> and ductwork, plus a drain for condensed moisture. This is illustrated
> beautifully by a 1,000 watt / 4,000 BTU space heater costs $20 but a 4,000 BTU
> window A/C is $200. That cost difference reflects the physics of hot and cold
> and the greater complexity of making cold by extraction of heat from the
> space.


>
> --
> FOOD FOR THOUGHT: 100 calories are used up in the course of a mile run.
> The USDA guidelines for dietary fibre is equal to one ounce of sawdust.
> The liver makes the vast majority of the cholesterol in your bloodstream.

--
Kind regards,

Linda Thompson

Chicago Paddling-Fishing

unread,
Dec 26, 2000, 2:58:38 AM12/26/00
to
Linda Thompson (lin...@mindspring.com) wrote:

: Like it doesn't get hot in Chicago in the summer! Hardy har har. You


: get the WORST of all worlds in Chicago, horrible winters, hot summers
: with stinking dirty pavement, and politics that make this last election
: look tame, where even the dead vote often and early, and the worlds'
: worst roads. Chicago, bah, you can HAVE it!!

No, I believe for the U.S., Fairbanks Alaska gets the worst of both worlds.
I worked on a project doing software for outdoor signs and one of the places
on the test list was Fairbanks as it has the widest temperature range of
any sizable U.S. city. Worst yet, when you drive just a little to the north
of there and press seek on your car radio, it goes all the way back around
to the same country station you were on....

Chicago got a test sign too, but that was more because it was easy to debug
here, Florida, and Arizona also got one... Arizona due to heat and Florida
due to extreme wet and possibilties of lightning damage...

And of course the signs first had to pass the U.L. bowling ball test to
ensure that local high schoolers with a baseball $19 bat wouldn't destroy
a $40,000 sign...

<snip>

Linda Thompson

unread,
Dec 26, 2000, 3:57:07 AM12/26/00
to
"I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New
York
said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just
isn't cold
enough. Let's go west.'" --Richard Jeni


--
Kind regards,

Linda Thompson


"Bloody Viking" <nos...@ripco.com> wrote in message

news:920q0c$grb$1...@gail.ripco.com...
>
> Sharon (cros...@flash.net) wrote:
>
> : Dear Diary:
>
> : Aug. 1
> : Moved to our new home in ILLINOIS. It is so beautiful here.
> : The country is so picturesque. Can hardly wait to see it
> : covered with snow. I LOVE IT HERE.
>
> [snip for brevity]
>
> : DEC. 22
> : More of that white shit fell last night. I've got
> : blisters on my hands from shoveling. I think the
> : snowplow hides around the corner and waits until I'm
> : done shoveling. That %$#@^*&!
>
> : DEC. 25
> : "White Christmas" my busted ass. Mother *%@#!*& snow.
> : If I ever get my hands on that son-of-a-bitch who
> : drives that snowplow. I swear I will castrate the dumb
> : bastard. Don't know why they don't use more salt on
> : this (&*^%$# ice.
>
> : DEC. 28
> : More of the same shit last night. Been inside since
> : Christmas Day except for when "Snowplow Harry" comes
> : by. Can't go anywhere. The car is buried in a mountain
> : of white shit. The weatherman says expect another 10
> : inches of this shit tonight. Do you know how many
> : shovels full of snow 10 inches is?
>
> : JAN. 1
> : Happy *%$#@&* New Year. The weatherman was wrong
> : (again). We got 34 fucking inches of snow this time.
> : At this rate it won't melt until the 4th of July. The
> : snowplow got stuck down the road and shit for brains
> : had the balls to come to the door and ask to borrow my
> : shovel. I told him I broke 6 shovels already, shoveling
> : out the shit he plowed into my driveway. I broke the
> : 7th shovel over his %#$@*&^ head.
>
> : JAN. 4
> : Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store
> : to get food and on the way back a deer ran out in
> : front of the car and I hit the *%#@^%. Did about
> : $3,000.00 damage to the car. Wish the hunters would
> : have killed them all last November.
>
> : May 3
> : Took the car to the garage in town today. Would you
> : believe the body is rotting away from all the (*&%#^@
> : salt they keep dumping all over the roads. It really
> : looks like a piece of shit.
>
> : May 10
> : Moved to Florida today. I can't imagine why anyone in
> : their right &^#$@#& mind would want to live in the God
> : forsaken State of ILLINOIS!!

Complicated Man

unread,
Dec 26, 2000, 4:09:46 AM12/26/00
to
lin...@fourlane.com writes:
>"I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New
>York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just
>isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'" --Richard Jeni

Please note that this lady lives in Schaumburg.

Max

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Dec 26, 2000, 9:43:10 AM12/26/00
to
In article <929mf3$umt$1...@nntp9.atl.mindspring.net>, "Linda Thompson"
<lin...@fourlane.com> wrote:

> "I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New
> York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it
> just isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'" --Richard Jeni

I'm sorry, but:

http://www.ukans.edu/~jcf/Images/funnysign.jpg

until further notice.

Sharon

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Dec 26, 2000, 4:11:38 PM12/26/00
to
How many Illinois residents "Chicago area" are there in this group any way?
Fess up people...
I think we are all griping because we have had some might nice winters the
past few years. This winter started nasty. Sharon

"Complicated Man" <Tb...@pimpdaddy.com> wrote in message
news:929n8q$joo$1...@bob.news.rcn.net...

Sharon

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Dec 26, 2000, 4:14:27 PM12/26/00
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Real cute Max..
Sharon

"Max" <beta...@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:betatron-D0E541...@news.earthlink.net...

Complicated Man

unread,
Dec 26, 2000, 4:24:16 PM12/26/00
to
cros...@flash.net writes:
>Real cute Max..
>Sharon

Huh, nobody even asked the question!

Sharon

unread,
Dec 26, 2000, 5:09:42 PM12/26/00
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"Complicated Man" <Tb...@pimpdaddy.com> wrote in message
news:92b2a0$pdi$1...@bob.news.rcn.net...

Like where the sign was? Really doesn't matter, I think we are all sick of
snow. Sharon


JWBooth

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Dec 26, 2000, 6:22:18 PM12/26/00
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-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1

"Bloody Viking" <nos...@ripco.com> wrote in message

news:9232u0$aac$3...@gail.ripco.com...

> He got smart. He exited the Hanging Chad State!

Duh. He's in Minn. because they drafted him. Had the Bucs drafted Daunte
(which he had hoped for, if memory serves), he'd still be here and they
would have won the division without beating the Packers. Meanwhile, the
Y2K NFL Choke Job of the Year award goes to the Lions, who couldn't even
beat the Bears at home to make the playoffs! :-p

- --
ROT13 the "reply to" for actual e-mail address.

TANSTAAFL

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Version: PGPfreeware 6.5.8 for non-commercial use <http://www.pgp.com>
Comment: De-fang Carnivore! Get PGP today!

iQA/AwUBOkkoKE6QdcRkUwgxEQLWxwCffmttrwjk7YiTCzm66goqSeWjtRAAninu
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Magesteff

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Dec 26, 2000, 9:35:48 PM12/26/00
to
Matt Black wrote:

> In article <GG826.23511$bw.16...@news.flash.net>, Sharon


> <cros...@flash.net> wrote:
>
> > > Huh, nobody even asked the question!
> >
> > Like where the sign was?
>

> No, the question is: Do you have sizeable hooters?

Reply: Is your brain small enough to fit in your other head?

Magesteff

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Dec 27, 2000, 8:21:19 PM12/27/00
to
Matt Black wrote:

> In article <3A495584...@bellsouth.net>, Magesteff wrote:
>
> > Is your brain small enough to fit in your other head?
>

> Ah doo whaaaaat?

That's what I though. Please take your juvenile troll self back to
school, or let your parents check your work before you send it out next
time.

Lokari

unread,
Dec 27, 2000, 7:36:38 PM12/27/00
to
Magesteff <mage...@bellsouth.net> wrote:

>That's what I though. Please take your juvenile troll self back to
>school, or let your parents check your work before you send it out next
>time.

I just love it when you clueless sorts decide it's time to try out
your new Christmas swagger. It's very funny.

--
www.enteract.com/~lokari

Welcome to Chinese Restaurant
Please try your Delicious Chinese food with chopsticks
the traditional and typical of chinese glorious
history and culture.

Max

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Dec 27, 2000, 10:35:07 PM12/27/00
to
In article <3A4A958F...@bellsouth.net>, Magesteff
<mage...@bellsouth.net> wrote:

> - "Imagination is more important than
> knowledge."-Albert Einstein

Words of comfort to clueless idiots, ignorant twits, and raving lunatics
everywhere.

.max
wtf is a magesteff?

Bloody Viking

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Dec 29, 2000, 9:09:45 PM12/29/00
to

Linda Thompson (lin...@mindspring.com) wrote:

: Like it doesn't get hot in Chicago in the summer! Hardy har har. You

Sure as shit does. Try $110 for A/C in July 1999... for a studio flat! Now,
about those natural gas prices...

Bloody Viking

unread,
Dec 29, 2000, 9:22:56 PM12/29/00
to

Sharon (cros...@flash.net) wrote:

: How many Illinois residents "Chicago area" are there in this group any way?


: Fess up people...
: I think we are all griping because we have had some might nice winters the
: past few years. This winter started nasty. Sharon

I'll gladly 'fess up. I'm a GENUINE Chicagoan, living in the city itself. Born
and raised here, too. Accept no imitations. There is _no_ other dinkum
Chicagoan with long hair, full beard, and controllable Melbourne accent, mate!
Melbourne Australia, not that imitation Melbourne Florida, the Hanging Chad
State.

And I can safely say there is no other longhair with beard with both Melbourne
AND Chicago North Side accents installed anywhere in America. And the fun part
is I got the Melbourne accent while in Gaeta Italy....

Bloody Viking

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Dec 29, 2000, 9:27:34 PM12/29/00
to

JWBooth (gnafg...@lnubb.pbz) wrote:
: -----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
: Hash: SHA1

: "Bloody Viking" <nos...@ripco.com> wrote in message
: news:9232u0$aac$3...@gail.ripco.com...
:
: > He got smart. He exited the Hanging Chad State!

: Duh. He's in Minn. because they drafted him. Had the Bucs drafted Daunte
: (which he had hoped for, if memory serves), he'd still be here and they
: would have won the division without beating the Packers. Meanwhile, the

Meeniso:ta is a better place than The Hanging Chad State aka The Heatstroke
State. I don't blame Culpepper for exiting such a miserably hot place. I had
my time in Orlando, and you could only get me to live there as the CEO of a
meat packing plant. (or other cold-related business)

G.

unread,
Dec 29, 2000, 9:43:10 PM12/29/00
to
nos...@ripco.com writes:
>
>Sharon (cros...@flash.net) wrote:
>
>: How many Illinois residents "Chicago area" are there in this group any way?
>: Fess up people...
>: I think we are all griping because we have had some might nice winters the
>: past few years. This winter started nasty. Sharon
>
>I'll gladly 'fess up. I'm a GENUINE Chicagoan, living in the city itself. Born
>and raised here, too. Accept no imitations. There is _no_ other dinkum
>Chicagoan with long hair, full beard, and controllable Melbourne accent, mate!
>Melbourne Australia, not that imitation Melbourne Florida, the Hanging Chad
>State.
>
>And I can safely say there is no other longhair with beard with both Melbourne
>AND Chicago North Side accents installed anywhere in America. And the fun part
>is I got the Melbourne accent while in Gaeta Italy....

Don't leave us in suspense like that!

James N. Stewart

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Dec 31, 2000, 12:12:46 AM12/31/00
to

"G." <g...@cs.uchicago.edu> wrote in message
news:2Zb36.105$x3.1858@uchinews...

Speaking as a former Melbourne Resident (Castle Hill, just off Queen's
Parade) I'm here to state that there is no Melbourne accent. There is a
Chicago accent, however, i.e. an accent from shi-CWUH-gah or SHCAH-go,
depending on a variety of factors.


Bloody Viking

unread,
Dec 31, 2000, 5:46:14 AM12/31/00
to

G. (g...@cs.uchicago.edu) wrote:

: Don't leave us in suspense like that!

I can assure you that not too many Chicagoans match the description of a
bearded longhair with a switchable Aussie accent, complete with distortion
effect. (like a guitar fuzz box effect)

%The fun thing was that I got my copy of the Melbourne accent while in Gaeta
Italy, instead of picking up Italian. Due to my development of accent use, I
consider Gaeta to be a second home town.

Emory46b

unread,
Jan 1, 2001, 10:03:44 AM1/1/01
to
I'm sure that heat waves have a great deal to do with chads. Sometimes when
the humidity is high, things stick together. However, the weather outside is
georgeous. Em

Bloody Viking

unread,
Jan 7, 2001, 1:49:06 PM1/7/01
to

Emory46b (emor...@aol.com) wrote:

: I'm sure that heat waves have a great deal to do with chads. Sometimes when


: the humidity is high, things stick together. However, the weather outside is
: georgeous. Em

And Florida will never live down being The Hanging Chad State after this
election debacle. The shit was absolutely hilarious. In Illinois where we use
the same hanging chad machines, we are considering their removal and to code a
recount law like Florida. So, Illinois could become The Land of Recounts like
FLA is The Hanging Chad State. If we had a recount law, we had some close
little elections that would have triggered that law.

When I voted, I checked my chads.

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