Published in the Spectator: "Majoring in Kink: Conversio Virium's quest to educate the next generation of BDSM'ers"

[maymay]

Hey everyone,

This article called "Majoring in Kink" in The Eye just crossed my
Internet radar, and I thought I'd let y'all know about it in case you
don't already:

http://eye.columbiaspectator.com/article/2011/02/24/majoring-kink

I thought it was a pretty positive article. Congratulations to the CV
admins for doing a great job. Represent, y'all! :) In particular, I
enjoyed this part of the article very much:

> the fight against patriarchy and ideas about deconstructing perceived patriarchal elements in the scene are being bounced around, and the Hamilton location seems all the more fitting. This type of cerebral analysis is typical of CV, known for its seminar feel and focus on inclusion, discussion, and, appropriately enough, nerdiness. “They’re very heady people,” says Devon of CV-ers.

It almost had me on my feet saying, "Sapiosexuals unite!" :D (Mmmm,
cerebrorgasms, anyone?)

That said, I was displeased with the consistent conflation of "kink"
and "BDSM," which I believe is an inappropriate, misleading, and
ultimately socially dangerous coupling.[0] These two words are not
synonyms,[1] nor is one the entire description of the other.

Further, there are some blatant historical errors of fact in the
article:

> Elle mentions the phenomenon of “Tribe parties,” a part of the kink community started by two men in their forties in an effort to pick up submissive girls in their 20s. As a reaction to this, a group called The Next Generation has formed in the last year to give 18 to 35 year-olds a safe space for exclusive young people parties.

What? That's not true; TNG has been around since before *I* was a CV
regular, way back in 2002![2] There may be a *new* TNG these days, but
as I understand it that group is an extension of the old. Am I wrong?
Does anyone know what the author was referring to?

Also, I wish the author (a Devin Briski,[3] it seems) wrote with a
less sensationalistic tone. The entire opening section as well as, for
instance, this following snippet, elicited a heavy *sigh* from me:

> Meanwhile, a scene unfolds on the other side of the room. A CV-er has taken his shirt off, and a few members have put clothespins on his arms, ears, down his neck, circling around and on top of his nipples, and down his abdomen.

Unless the CV rules[4] have changed, or unless some people *broke* the
rules, this was most definitely not "a scene" unfolding. And from
Devin's description, it doesn't sound like a scene, either. But I
suppose it's tempting for writers not to portray CV as a place of
learning first and instead as a place for play. If only I could leave
this issue at "whatever" and not think about it again.

However, I can't.

I don't want to rain on anyone's parade—and again, I stress that this
article is overall very positive—but we ought be vigilant about this
kind of portrayal, as journalists' failures to accurately describe the
(ultimately very simple) nuance here can easily bring unkind political
pressure from high holy hell onto CV. That has happened multiple times
before,[5] and while it's not necessarily a "bad" thing,[6] getting
hit with this sort of political attack will require a lot of time and
energy from the CV leadership to manage effectively, and the
consequences of failing can be dire for our community. For readers
unfamiliar with our recent history, I speak from experience[7] about
this. :\

All that being said, I feel incredibly grateful to all of you who are
keepin' on keepin' on over there. I feel grateful to the older who
nurture the younger, who facilitate knowledge transfer, and who step
back[8] when it is their time to leave; I feel grateful to the admins
for their incredible leadership (WAY TO GO KELLIE AND SIMONE!) and for
carrying the torch of CV's organizational memory;[9] and I feel
grateful most of all to the newest undergrads for their bravery, self-
awareness and openness (even if you don't feel it quite yet, trust me,
it's there in you).

I feel old now, recalling what it was like in 2002 when almost every
CV meeting totaled 5 people (3 of whom were CV admins, 1 was me, and 1
was the classic "creepy old guy" who I bet isn't around anymore)—but
that's what it was, believe it or not. And then things changed. Things
got better. You guys made it better. I am so proud of all of you, and
I am so proud to be among your many supporters.

Cheers,
-maymay
Blog: http://maybemaimed.com
Talk show: http://KinkOnTap.com
Community: http://KinkForAll.org

P.S. Even though I posted this on FetLife first,[10] I also posted it
here because I believe FetLife's refusal to allow public searching and
archiving (i.e., Google search/cache, etc.) is very dangerous to the
democratization and censorship-resistance of sexuality discussions on
the Internet. (See the first few minutes of this audio recording[11]
for some cursory details on that.)

EXTERNAL REFERENCES:

[0] http://maybemaimed.com/2010/10/05/honor-thy-language-kinky-is-an-adjective-not-an-activity/
[1] http://maybemaimed.com/2009/05/03/bdsm-versus-kink-nobody-but-your-sex-partner-cares-how-you-fuck/
[2] http://conversiovirium.org/author/maymay/
[3] http://eye.columbiaspectator.com/contributor/135
[4] http://conversiovirium.org/about/#meeting-rules
[5] https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/index.php?title=Conversio_Virium&oldid=396734440#History
[6] http://conversiovirium.org/2007/02/12/thank-you-ann-coulter/
[7] http://maybemaimed.com/2007/12/14/an-exemplar-of-conservative-hypocrisy/
[8] http://hugoschwyzer.net/2010/08/22/step-up-and-step-back-more-on-the-role-of-men-in-feminist-spaces/
[9] http://conversiovirium.org/wiki/
[10] http://fetlife.com/groups/924/group_posts/1217472
[11] http://maybemaimed.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/maymay-clarisse-thorn-kink-inc-hymen-gate.mp3

[maymay]

On Feb 24, 4:33 am, maymay <bitetheappleb...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Further, there are some blatant historical errors of fact in the
> article:
>
> > Elle mentions the phenomenon of “Tribe parties,” a part of the kink community started by two men in their forties in an effort to pick up submissive girls in their 20s. As a reaction to this, a group called The Next Generation has formed in the last year to give 18 to 35 year-olds a safe space for exclusive young people parties.
>
> What? That's not true; TNG has been around since before *I* was a CV
> regular, way back in 2002![2] There may be a *new* TNG these days, but
> as I understand it that group is an extension of the old. Am I wrong?
> Does anyone know what the author was referring to?

I got an answer over on FetLife well before I can expect an answer
here, so I'm cross-posting again. From FetLife:[0]

> NYC TNG isn't affiliated with TES and isn't an extension of TES-TNG.

So the "TNG" group referenced in the article probably relates to
NYCTNG.org, which is a separate entity from other TNG groups. Good to
know.

Cheers,
-maymay
Blog: http://maybemaimed.com
Talk show: http://KinkOnTap.com
Community: http://KinkForAll.org

EXTERNAL REFERENCES:

[0] http://fetlife.com/groups/924/group_posts/1217472#group_comment_13284544