X-VILLE req: Repost of Lyrics
Aaron Malone
Could someone please repost the suggested lyrics for THE MUSICAL? I was
between newsreaders at the time.
--
-----
Uncle Pedro
cad...@bigfoot.com
"...assuming, of course, your soul avoids the lava men."
Megadee406
<<Could someone please repost the suggested lyrics for THE MUSICAL? I was
between newsreaders at the time.>>
I've got all of them, saved on my not-so-trusty hard drive...for your
reading enjoyment:
<<For Moose and Squirrel-"Spooky Agent Mulder" (sung to the tune of "Man
of La Mancha")
M:" Hear me now O you bleak and incredulous world
Unbelieving, uncaring unkind
I stride out with my trenchcoat so bravely unfurled
The e-lusive truth sure to find
I am I, Fox Quixote
Spooky Agent Mulder
Weird, creepy things call and I go
Looking for Sam, my sister
And alien spaceships
On each and on every show
S: I'm Scully, yes I'm Scully,
I stick by my partner through thick and thin
But when we have a conflict
He will ditch me, yet again..."
ANNNND---for Mulder, DT, X, and Blondie, "The Secret Informant",( to the
tune of "The Phantom of the Opera")
Mulder:" AT night X came to me, Deep Throat the same
The Uniblonder too, they call my name
Just when I'm fully lost, and have no clue
The Seeeeeeeecret Informant are there, out of the blue
X: A handy plot device, that's waht we are
DT: Dangerous living though, watch out for cars
UNI:Not all things die, I say, But if I do,
M:Anoooooother Informant is there, out of the blue!"
ANNNNND in honour of recent releases, a song just for Scully, to the
tuine of Evita's famous song, "Don't Cry for Me...."
Scully:
" Don't cry for me Agent Mulder, the truth is, I'll never leave you
Although you ditch me, And get me kidnapped
I'll still be here when, you get your hand slapped
ANd as for dating, and as for friends,
Well who really needs them I say?
I prefer to stick by this obsessive guy
Who got my dog killed
I'm not saying he willed it to turn out that way,
No matter; whatever he does,
By his side I always will stay..." (repeat chorus)
ANNNNND...just one more sample to waste yer bandwidth,
just for Meg, here's a song for out favourite Krycek (sung to the tune
of "When You're a Jet")
K:" When you're a rat, you're a rat all the way,
From your first double-cross , to your last prison stay
When you're a rat, you let sh*t hit the fan
Then you run really fast like a weasel-ly man
You never sleep well,
You always keep an eye out.
FBI for a spell,
Or rubbin' some poor guy out
Just give me a try-out!
Oh yes I am a rat (yeah!)
So look out you fools
Cancer Man, I won't rest
'Till Alex Hrycek rules
Till A-lex Kry-cek ruuuuuuuuuuuuules!(yeah!)"
First--for the SMall Yappy Dog Chorus--
"The Ballad of Queequeg" (to the tune of "Ding Dong The Witch is Dead")
"There was a yappy dog, A smallish dog, a snappy dog,
Queequeg, he was our fav'rite dog!
He had a bushy tail, a smallish snout, had to go out,
Barked all the time yes, without fail.
He came from a scary case, he ate his owner's face
Till Da-
Na Scully took him home, gave him a milk-bone
He did not softly tread, A gator ate, him, now he's dead
(sniff) Our friend Queequeg, now he's dead!
Yap-a-yappa-yap-yappa-yap, yappa-yappa-yap yap yap" (etc)
ANd for our next musical number---
Actually, I see this as the opener, sunrise over misty X-Ville,
and the chorus of
X-Villians, -Villers, Villains and Villeins sings:
"Moose and Squirrel" (To the tune of "Once in the Highlands/Brigadoon")
"Once in the newsgroup, our favourite newsgroup,
In a strange spot we call X-Ville
Discussing the story, of our fav'rite heroes
Two little agents, dear Moose and Squirrel
And creepy things happened, yeah ooky stuff happened
To our fav'rite agents, dear Moose and Squirrel.
Moose and Squirrel, Moose and Squirrel,
Basement office, at FBI
Moose and Squirrel, Moose and Squirrel
Red-head doc and quirky guy
Flukes and Tooms, and clones galore, yes,
Kidnapped sister, bugs in ice!
Moose and Squirrel, Moose and Sqirrel
Find the truth, expose the lies....."(big cheesy musical flourish)
Today's final offering comes in honour of certain slash fans.
I am trying to use fairly-well known tunes from shows, so I apologize if
anyone does not know the "Waltz For Eva and Che" from Evita, but it is
one of the few musicals about really nasty people, and therefore
appropriate for anything involving everyone's fave RATBOY...!
"Waltz For Mulder and Krycek" (tune: "Waltz for Eva and Che" from Evita)
Mulder:
Tell me, before I beat you up again
Before slapping you upside the head
Why is there something about you
That keeps me from simply ensuring you stay dead
Tell me, the reason I don't go and kill you
Revenging the people you've shot?
Why do we just end up staring, and glaring, when we should be
Furthering the plot?
Krycek:
Tell me, why is it you can't see the answer
Perhaps this was just meant to be
More than a small simple case of
Hero meets rat-author-of-villainy!
Deep down, dear PUNK!, you know that you like it
Our constant vi'lence, it's fate
A case of some mutual attraction
Not gravity but more likely what's known as the flip side of hate!
Both:
There's attraction, ever around, can't deny it,
Too bad the Fox net execs just won't buy it
Krycek:
So, Moose, my advances
Remain only glances
And beatings
But someday I'll say
"It was all just foreplay"
But not now, dear,
So---Ka-POW! dear!!!
The long-awaited CSM number! Featureing CSM, and ALLLLLL the residents
of X-Ville in the chorus! Special background of kilted one-armed
Russians ini the chorus line!
"Lungs Full of Cancer" (tune: "One Night in Bangkok" from Chess---
had a brief moment as a hit in the mid 80's with a version by Murray
Head
and another by some woman who was a one-hit wonder--can't recall the
name.)
CSM:
X-Files, just another part of
A mysterious enigma that you can't get to the heart of
My schemes-beyond all com-pre-hen-sion
Sloppy plot twists? Or more dramatic tension?
Some think, I am Mulder's father
If you want the truth--hah! you needn't bother
...I kill presidents...subvert justice...and find time to...waterski...
X-Ville Players Chorus:
Lungs Full of Cancer and a heart of granite
The perfect villain for conspira-cies
Lungs Full of Cancer; if he's so smart, dammit
Why does he publish in "Les Venues Sleze"?*
Consortium's puppet or "eminence grise"?*
He runs the world and still he has a wheeze!
*(Beagle's note: sorry pour les expressions franglais. If you are not
familiar with "eminence grise," it translates as "grey eminence," i.e.,
the mastermind behind a plot.)
Our next number is the Act One Finale. CSM is joined onstage by a bunch
of surly Russians(Jets). Skinner stands alone save for the loyal X-Ville
chorus(Sharks). Skinner decides to stand up the CSM here, while
Marita...you'll see. (Yes, I'm mixing up plotlines. Artistic integrity
for sale, cheap, here.) Now, if you recall the original musical, all of
these people keep singing their parts until there's a giant mish-mash of
sound onstage...blah blah, *I'm* only going to bother writng the lines
you can actually *understand* (Just imagine CSM and SKinner contimuing
to sing stuff like "He be-gan-it!")
"Terma, Tonight" (tune: "Tonight Ensemble" from West Side Story)
CSM: Consortium's gonna have its way, tonight!
Skinner: I'm gonna punch him in the face, all right!
CSM: That little Mulder punk'll find out
I'm more than just his uncle, no--oo doubt, Tonight!
Sk: I'm gonna tell him tonight
WOn't do his bidding no more
Stub out his damn cigarettes
And mayber even the score
CSM: I'm gonna shock him
Sk: I'm gonna stop him
Both: No Mr. Nice Guy, no more...tonight!
Uniblonder:
Marita's gonna get her kicks, tonight!
I'll give Mulder his fix, tonight
Just barely enough info, he'll still lack
Enough to do much damage, He'll keep coming back! Tonight!
Mulder:
X-Files, X-Files, don't close up in the while,
I go to Russia, I'll be away
Scully:
X-Files, X-Files, Moose, why is it your style
To ditch me back here, I have to face--
Both:
Some co-ongressional hearings, they want to get real nasty
And shut us down all right
Answers we need
The truth, no if's or but's or maybe's and no "Might's"
Tonight!>>>
That's all he wrote! And, just to give credit where credit is due, all
these songs were written by ME! Oh, ok, they were really written by none
other then Beagle, who is, among other things, Doggerel Provider for those
hooked-on-musicals and
Director, QM SYD RH/BS.
I am not who I am!
Meg
X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*
X-Ville's Resident Juvenile Delinquent, Part-Time WIB, &Evil Music Director
*Lover of all things Krycek~ Visit the Lair Of The Rat!*
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Hills/4226/index.html
X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*
Mac Nooge
Finally I got smart and will THREAD these new offerings.
Folks, I'm almost done with the numbers, for better or for worse.
Tonight we have:
"Sister"-(tune:"Dentist" from Little Shop of Horrors, you know, STeve
Martin's big number in the movie! It' s song for Mulder's
sister-imposter, and I still hope Doc Aay will consider...)
"I Dream I'll Find My Sister Sam"(tune:"I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Mis,
also a small radio hit for *Neil Diamond,* no comment)
"The Merry Old Land of X"(tune: "The Merry Old Land of Oz")
"Marita"(tune:America from West Side Story)
'Sister' (sung by Samantha Imposter, with Mulder and the X-Villian
Chorus)
"Sam":
When we were younger, playing Stra-te-go,
Dear brother watched me be kidnapped, you know
Those aliens, they wanted me for clones,
But now I'm back-so a small welcome home
Is what I'm hoping that my bro will say
You watched me float away! (chorus: He saw you float away?)
Oh no, you could not make me stay, there was no way
Screaming "Fox!" it was all I could say--
I am your sister (she is your sister)
And I have traveled the galaxy far (far!)
I am you sister (she is your sister)
D-N-A floating around in a jar
I know you can hardly believe it, don't look like the Mulders at all!
But I'm your sister, victim of casting calls
(chorus, individual players take lines:)
I don't know, Moose, she doesn't seem quite right
Could be just a big hoax, yes she could
Who do identical ones keep poppin' up
Unless she's up to no good!
M:
Gee, I don't know--what does it take--
Sam:
Well, ok, I admit, I'm a fake!
I'm not your sister (not your sister)
Just another cruel yank on your chain (ouch!)
I'm not your siser (she's not your sister)
Viewers enjoy seeing your look of pain (they love it)
Just think if we solved all your anguish
The plot would have no-where to go!
So I can't be your sister---now get on with the show!
Now I think we should come down from our hilarity wioth the nxt number,
immediately following, being a properly solemn and cheesy reflection on
poor little Mulder.
"I Dream I'll Find my Sister Sam"(tune:"I DReamed a Dream")
Mulder:
There was a time sis was unkind, called me "butt munch"
While we watched the TV
Now I soend time just trying to find, the smallest of clues
The search consumes me
There will be a time---when I'll find yooooou....
I dream I'll find my sister Sam, It has become my great obsession
I try to sort theough all the shams
Each time I think I've learned my lesson
But the clones, they came at night
Never knew which ones I could trust
Lose all obejecti-vi-ty
Even when the lead's a bu--u--u--u--ust!
And so I keep on with m,y quest
In spite of logical objections
Every week becomes a test
Of my will to lack perception
How long until I find my sis?
And get to stop acting like such a schlep!
Have a feeling the plan is--
SHe'll show up in the fi-nal...ep!!!!
The ACt II opener features the Band of X-Ville Players:
"Merry Old Land of X" (tune: "Merry Old Land of Oz"
Buzz buzz buzz, bitch bitch bitch
And a couple of "what the heck's"
That's how, on-line, we pass our time
In the merry old Land of X!
We all trash and smash, And then we give net-picks
Tell which eps we love, and which have made us sick
It's a big kick!
Who's Mulder's dad? Is Blondie bad?
Will Moose and Squirrel have sex?
That's how, on-line we pass our time
In the merry Old Land of X!
This number is envisioned as a duet between Scully and the Uniblonder,
backed up by the 'Shipper Chorus, as Marita, dressed in her
little-nothing robe, reveals her true colours and Scully puts her
firmly in her place...
"Marita" (tune: "America")
Marita:
Fox-y Mulder, you'll get seduced, yeah
You're such a sweet little dreamer!
When I set your sex-life a-spinning
Think of it as work, not sinning
Scully:
"Fox-y Mulder?" You'll be reduced, yeah
You little tramp, you blonde schemer
What kind of plot are you spinning?
What kind of sin are you sinning?
Oh, the guilt I'm pinning
On you, you evil plotter
I'll make your plotting totter
Listen to me, Uniblonder
It's Dana of whom Mulder's fonder!
Shipper Chorus:
What are you doing, you Ma-ri-ta?
You Mulder-pursuing-slut, Ma-ri-ta!
Why do we hate you, oh Ma-ri-ta?
Forever we'll bait you, oh Ma-r-ta!
Marita:
I'm just another informant
Scully:
You expect me to go for that?
Marita:
Negligee's by chance, completely
Scully:
You smile a little *too* sweetly!
Shipper Chorus (with Scully):
We don't believe you, you Ma-ri-ta!
What will it achieve you, you Ma-ri-ta?
Don't give Moose suggestions, you Ma-ri-ta!
Sex out of the question, with Ma-ri-ta!
Marita:
If Mulder wakes up beside me...
Shippers (together):
He'll call you coy-o-te ugly...!
Marita:
So what if I double-cross for sex...
Scully:
Don't forget what happened to X...!
(they dance, music swells,etc..."Marita! Ole!")
Enjoy!
Beagle
Director, QM SYD RH/BS
Penner of Pulp
Sing it, baby!
Mac Nooge wrote:
>
> (I had to snip Meg's Repost)
> Dear Music Director Meg:
> Thank you, O Evil One, for reposting! To anyone looking, there are four
> more numbers under "More Musical Numbers."
>
> And I have only one here; I was going to wait until I had a couple more
> but I was giggling pretty hard. I had a little idea for Pendrell (I know
> I'm violating my rule once again to use only the best-known numbers from
> musicals, but I couldn't stop myself. Oh, yes, Meg, you are going to
> have to transpose this one down, as I don't think Penny is a soprano...)
>
> "Waiting For My Scully"(tune: "Waiting for My Dearie" from Brigadoon)
>
> Pendrell:
> Many a lab boy will just give up hoping
> Simply accepting we don't have a life
> SO he'll ignore any chance at eloping
> With any agent of the female type
> I have a dream, and her name's Dana Scully
> I know there's one certain redhead for me
> One day she'll look at me with new perception
> And more than just little "Lab Boy" she'll see...
> Hopeless you may say, Hopeless, I will stay...
>
> Waiting for my Scully, and happy am I
> To be useful whenever she drops by
> Sighing for my Scully, I'll never give up
> 'Til she sees me as more than a lost pup
>
> Though she only comes down When a sample's around
> That I have just analyzed
> Some day soon it will be That Da-na looks at me
> I believe, then she'll see...
>
> That, here's her Pendrell dearie, so cute and so meek
> And she'll make me her own beloved---geeeeek!
>
> Happy howlin'...
> Beagle
> Proud Penner of Pulp
> Director, QM SYD RH/BS
Mac Nooge
Megadee406
<<And I have only one here; I was going to wait until I had a couple more
but I was giggling pretty hard. I had a little idea for Pendrell (I know
I'm violating my rule once again to use only the best-known numbers from
musicals, but I couldn't stop myself>>
You know, I always considered Brigadoon a fairly well- known musical, and
"Waiting For My Dearie" too. Maybe I've just been growing up in a home
with good musical sense....heehee...I slay me...