Panic in the City
Dave Spain
someone who knows them is, so I'm going ahead with this request posting
for movies I think deserve the dubious honor of an MST3K premier.
I got hooked on MST3K quite late in the game, so some of my suggestions
may have already aired, if so let me know, maybe I can catch 'em on
re-runs.
Film descriptions are from John Stanley's "The Creature Features Movie
Guide" updated, revised edition dated 1984, from Warner Communications
Books. Further comments by yours truly are in []'s.
1) PANIC IN THE CITY (1967) - Compact thriller has Howard Duff
trying to prevent a nuclear device from destroying L.A.
Suspense is accentuated by Paul Dunlap's music. Fine cast
includes Nehemiah Persoff, Anne Jeffries, Stephen McNally.
[and John Hoyt... John Stanley is far too kind. The dialog
is pedantic, the plot contrived at best, the science dubious,
and the sleuthing third-rate. The casting is first rate, but
that's about all, maybe that's where all of the budget went?
Howard Duff's employer is identified only by the acronym of the
National Investigative Commission or some such nonsense.
One wonders if J. Edgar objected to this one?]
2) ROBOT MONSTER (1953)
"Earth Ro-Man, [friends, countrymen, those with ears to lend!]
you are an extension of the Ro-Man, and a Ro-Man you will
remain! Now I set you into motion. One: destroy the girl.
Two: Destroy the family. Fail and I will destroy YOU!"
- The Great One in Robot Monster
[Now here's a movie that's got its priorities straight!]
Reportedly produced-directed by Phil Tucker in less than a
week on a budget of $580.25; allegedly inspired by CAT WOMEN
OF THE MOON and FIRE MAIDENS FROM OUTER SPACE. Exec. producer
Al Zibalist even decided to contribute to the Arts by shooting
in 3-D. If nothing else, that will keep this science-fiction
"classic" from falling "flat". [ahem] As the human hero,
George Nader [Ralph's father?] looks as mechanical as the
extra in an ape suit (with a fishbowl over his head) called
Ro-man, who lands on Earth with his Bubble Communications
Machine [years in advance of Bubble Memory I might add!] to
kill the only six humans left [cheaper by the half-dozen?].
Once those six are dead, it will be safe for 268,000 aliens
to inhabit the planet. Must be seen to be believed!
Marvelously incompetent! Yes, see it!
3) MISSILE MONSTERS (1951) - Recut version of the Republic serial
FLYING DISC MAN FROM MARS, starring Walter Reed as Kent Fowler,
[and Zulu as Kono] a pilot who battles the evil Martian Mota.
Thermal Disintegrator and other wild gadgets provide
cliffhangers. [far better than relying on plot!] By 1951,
Republic was giving its serials short shrift and it really
shows in the shoddy scripting and mediocre special effects.
4) MISSILE BASE AT TANIAK (1953) - Edited version of the Republic
serial CANADIAN MOUNTIES VS. ATOMIC INVADERS [yeah!], with the
Canadian wasteland (or it it the back lot?) [or maybe its
Edmonton? :-)] serving as the setting for a battle royal between
Mountie Don Roberts (Bill Henry) and a villain named Marlof
(Arthur Space) [er, don't you mean Karloff eh? And Arthur
Space? Yeah, like that's his REAL name, hoser], who intends
to build rocket sites from which to launch atomic missiles for
an attack on U.S. and Canada. Nonstop duel across the icy
terrain--even has a reindeer stampede.
Oh well, enough for now. One wonders about the other "classics", such
as PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE, and CAT WOMEN OF THE MOON. Have they been
aired yet? And then there's THE MAGNETIC MONSTER, a personal favorite.
Other votes?
dascos...@cybernet.cse.fau.edu
> I don't know if the producers' of MST3K are on-line or not, but maybe
> someone who knows them is, so I'm going ahead with this request posting
> for movies I think deserve the dubious honor of an MST3K premier.
>
> I got hooked on MST3K quite late in the game, so some of my suggestions
> may have already aired, if so let me know, maybe I can catch 'em on
> re-runs.
> Other votes?
Well Robot Monster was done in the 1st season (it's what got me hooked on
the show), but but a stattion in my area "blesses" us with "Republic
thetre" and I have found the perfect MST3K film: Bat-men of Africa.
Fellow MiSTies, this is a film that makes "Jungle Goddess" look like "Out
of Africa."
It was made in 1936 by republic pictures (posibly a serial) and features:
One White Godess, her brother who looks like a fat version of "Boy", A
demented high priest, a civilization of people who have mastered filght
and the telephone, yet still use spears, an unflattering black
sterostype, a gorilla that look worse than the polar bear in"Santa CLaus
Conquers the Martians," the crooked white man, and the Great White Hero
who is captured and escapes and is captured and escapes and is captured
and..... well you get the picture.
Why they are wasting thier time with "Master Ninja" when there are
classics like this around is beyond me.
Dascoser
"Joe has two kids in that school"
`And if his wife finds out, she'll kill him"
---- MST3K, X Marks the Spot
Scott Amspoker
>I got hooked on MST3K quite late in the game, so some of my suggestions
>may have already aired, if so let me know, maybe I can catch 'em on
>re-runs.
>
They did this one. It was one of those films that worked very well with
MST3K. It was awful in a certain humorous way that there was an overall
mood of comedy. I smiled everytime I saw the tacky "billion bubble machine"
which actually gets listed in the movie's credits. (Joel: We're only
up to 500 million bubbles. I've been counting.) "The Pod People" is
another good example of a movie just begging to be roasted by MST3K. Some
flicks such as "Side Hackers" and "Catalina Caper" are simply bad with
*no* appeal at all.
--
Scott Amspoker | Coming in Fall '94:
Basis International, Albuquerque, NM |
| Proteus/5 - the fart box
sc...@bbx.basis.com | "over 20MB of sample ROM"
Morpheus Awake
>I don't know if the producers' of MST3K are on-line or not, but maybe
>someone who knows them is, so I'm going ahead with this request posting
>for movies I think deserve the dubious honor of an MST3K premier.
>I got hooked on MST3K quite late in the game, so some of my suggestions
>may have already aired, if so let me know, maybe I can catch 'em on
>re-runs.
>Film descriptions are from John Stanley's "The Creature Features Movie
>Guide" updated, revised edition dated 1984, from Warner Communications
>Books. Further comments by yours truly are in []'s.
>2) ROBOT MONSTER (1953)
> "Earth Ro-Man, [friends, countrymen, those with ears to lend!]
> you are an extension of the Ro-Man, and a Ro-Man you will
> remain! Now I set you into motion. One: destroy the girl.
> Two: Destroy the family. Fail and I will destroy YOU!"
> - The Great One in Robot Monster
> [Now here's a movie that's got its priorities straight!]
> Reportedly produced-directed by Phil Tucker in less than a
> week on a budget of $580.25; allegedly inspired by CAT WOMEN
> OF THE MOON and FIRE MAIDENS FROM OUTER SPACE. Exec. producer
> Al Zibalist even decided to contribute to the Arts by shooting
> in 3-D. If nothing else, that will keep this science-fiction
> "classic" from falling "flat". [ahem] As the human hero,
> George Nader [Ralph's father?] looks as mechanical as the
> extra in an ape suit (with a fishbowl over his head) called
> Ro-man, who lands on Earth with his Bubble Communications
> Machine [years in advance of Bubble Memory I might add!] to
> kill the only six humans left [cheaper by the half-dozen?].
> Once those six are dead, it will be safe for 268,000 aliens
> to inhabit the planet. Must be seen to be believed!
> Marvelously incompetent! Yes, see it!
This is one of the better MST3K treatements, from I think, the first
Comedy Channel season.
>Oh well, enough for now. One wonders about the other "classics", such
>as PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE, and CAT WOMEN OF THE MOON. Have they been
>aired yet? And then there's THE MAGNETIC MONSTER, a personal favorite.
I very much want to see a treatment of Plane 9 from Outer Space.
Er... PLAN 9 (not that it makes a whole hell of a lot of difference)
--
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John Switzer
>sp...@alliant.com (Dave Spain) writes:
>
>>Oh well, enough for now. One wonders about the other "classics", such
>>as PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE, and CAT WOMEN OF THE MOON. Have they been
>>aired yet? And then there's THE MAGNETIC MONSTER, a personal favorite.
>
>I very much want to see a treatment of Plane 9 from Outer Space.
>
>Er... PLAN 9 (not that it makes a whole hell of a lot of difference)
>
It makes Pumping Iron look good. I can't even imagine what the MST3k crew
would say about it.
--
John Switzer | "They serve a purpose,
| They fill a need,
74076...@Compuserve.com | They ensure survival of the species."
j...@netcom.com | The Forester Sisters - "Men"