Some Tasteless Moments From A Nurse
Stuart Podell
in Dallas (the hospital that Kennedy was brought to for all of you conspiracy
heads). I always ask here to tell me some of the strange things that happen
over there and here are some of the best/tasteless stories:
A woman came in one day and complained of severe headaches. An X-ray revealed a
large fluid build-up in her head, near that thing that connects the two
hemispheres of the brain (sorry about all the technical terms :) ). The doctors
went in to drain the build-up and when they punctured the balloon-like bulge in
the artery, something shot out and hit the wall. On closer inspection they
found the thing that shot out was a WORM!!! Apparently one of those worms that
gets into your stomach by way of the blood stream got caught in the brain and
started to grow. I asked for a picture but she didn't have one.
I child from Mexico was flown up to the burn unit with severe burns to her arm.
The wound was a few days old and when the nurse removed the bandages she found
maggots crawling throughout the burned tissue. Needless to say she blew chunks.
A man came in with a coke bottle stuck up his ass. They couldn't get it out
because it had some suction to it. They finally had to drill a hole in the
bottom of it to equalize the pressure.
A woman came in with an entire peach stuck up her vagina. I guess her husband
couldn't eat it out of her.
These are just a few stories. Are there any nurses out there with more?
David Garrett
>
>A woman came in with an entire peach stuck up her vagina. I guess her husband
>couldn't eat it out of her.
I wonder if she would have absorbed the cyanide in the peach pit
transvaginally if the peach had been left in her long enough?
Dave
Frank Effenberger
> These are just a few stories. Are there any nurses out there with more?
I friend's wife is a nurse at a phychiatric hospital, and she had one
turely dastardly tale. It involved this woman who was an outpatient. She
had severe feelings of guilt and depression. The doctor who was treating
her tried to find out what in the world could be making her feel so guilty.
So finally one day they have a big breakthrough, and she finally revealed
what she had been doing. For the entire ten years that she had been
married, she had been serving her husband coffee that had as its special
ingredient: Menstrual discharge!!!
This revelation also explained why her husband always complained that the
coffee at work tasted strange.
Of course, because of confidentiality, the Doc couldn't tell Hubby to avoid
the Java in the morning. I don't know if the woman ever stopped.
Somewhere.. out there.. maybe..
--
Frank Effenberger - *The* Super Slacker
'The light of Wyatt's Torch was the last
light they ever saw on this earth' - A.R
Keith Lim
>what she had been doing. For the entire ten years that she had been
>married, she had been serving her husband coffee that had as its special
>ingredient: Menstrual discharge!!!
I vaguely remember reading somewhere that some cultures in Asia have the
belief that a wife feeding her menstrual fluids to her husband (usually
without telling him) will make the husband faithful to her always, to say
nothing of being obedient to the point where he can be henpecked
continually without a word of complaint from him.
Despite (a) being an Asian myself, and (b) having grown up in Asia--I'm
just here to study (so what am I doing spending all this time on a.t.!?),
I don't remember ever hearing this belief firsthand, or of having it as
part of the local cultural folklore while growing up. I don't remember where
I read it either, so unless someone else has heard this, that's as much
info. as there'll ever be on this (possible) belief.
ObTasteless. Actually, I don't have anything tasteless to say, except that
there's nothing inherently disgusting or "tasteless" about consuming the
chunky stuff. Taste and smell can be strong, but it's a matter of getting
used to it (like anything else new that's being tried for the first time.)
Can be a source of erotic pleasure, of course. Dried blood on face, on
thighs, stomach, hands, etc.; feel the skin tighten whenever you move, that
sort of thing. Remember to protect sheets with many towels, though, or just
move to the floor.
Newbies may followup to this post with the old "vampire's teabag" joke.
--
Keith Lim Cog Sci c/o SFSS, Simon Fraser University, Burnaby, B.C., V5A 1S6
SFU does not have opinions of its own; therefore any found above must be mine.
Trashcan Man
>I friend's wife is a nurse at a phychiatric hospital, and she had one
>turely dastardly tale. It involved this woman who was an outpatient. She
>had severe feelings of guilt and depression. The doctor who was treating
>her tried to find out what in the world could be making her feel so guilty.
>So finally one day they have a big breakthrough, and she finally revealed
>what she had been doing. For the entire ten years that she had been
>married, she had been serving her husband coffee that had as its special
>ingredient: Menstrual discharge!!!
>
>This revelation also explained why her husband always complained that the
>coffee at work tasted strange.
>
>Of course, because of confidentiality, the Doc couldn't tell Hubby to avoid
>the Java in the morning. I don't know if the woman ever stopped.
>Somewhere.. out there.. maybe..
Hey Jenny, have you been visiting the hotel with the padded walls again?
Where are these women, and why can't I meet them..
Hey, but wait a second... here's something I just thought of: menstrual
discharge every morning? either she's on the rag too fuckin' much, or
she keeps it in storage somewhere, pref. a refrigerator.
I'm gonna cry "hoax" here...
Buddy, if you're gonna post fiction to a.t, at least let us know...
I hate it when my fantasies are untrue...
Now fuck off unless you can post *.gifs of this...
Trashcan Man.
--
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Trashcan Man is '73 VW Fastback = ) \/
to...@Panix.Com It's Not A Car It's A =\\/ \/\/
(Constantino Tobio, Jr.) V O L K S W A G E N -\/\
Steve Cheung
>rama.creol.ucf.edu (Frank Effenberger) writes:
>
>I vaguely remember reading somewhere that some cultures in Asia have the
>belief that a wife feeding her menstrual fluids to her husband (usually
>without telling him) will make the husband faithful to her always, to say
>nothing of being obedient to the point where he can be henpecked
>continually without a word of complaint from him.
>Keith Lim Cog Sci c/o SFSS, Simon Fraser University, Burnaby, B.C., V5A 1S6
> SFU does not have opinions of its own; therefore any found above must be mine.
I think it's somewhere around Thailand......
I also heard that if a man eat(or what should we call it?) a woman's menstrual
fluids everyday, he can live forever.(Just something I heard when I went to
Thailand.) Oh, almost forgot!!! He couldn't have sex either or else it won't
work!!
Also, my guild told me that if a woman in Thailand falls in love with a tourist,she would put some powder made from cow skins in the food he eats. Then she
would make him promise to came back for her after a certain amount of time,
let say a year. After a year if the guy don't go back, a piece of cow skin willform in his stomach, so he'd have to go back. The guild also told me that one
guy got that kind of spell placed on him, and he went to the hospital to take it(cow skin) out and it grew back after 3 months time.
So, all you A.Ters, watch who you fuck when you go to Thailand!!!!!
What is the old Vimpire's teabag joke anyways??
Steve
Ken Goach IBM
>These are just a few stories. Are there any nurses out there with more?
A friend's mom was a E/R nurse (that's Emergency Room for you
non-"Emergency" watchers). She told us once they brought in a
biker on acid who had taken a CB radio antenna and snaked about
a foot of it up his urethra.
--
THIS POSTING DOES NOT REPRESENT THE OPINIONS OF MY EMPLOYERS.
------------------------------------------------------------------
From the mouths of babes comes ... cereal! || SAVE THE CHOAD!
==================================================================
Joe Bay
>biker on acid who had taken a CB radio antenna and snaked about
>a foot of it up his urethra.
Aieeeeeeeeeee!
I was tested for chlamydia two weeks ago, which entails a q-tip in the urethra,
but that frightens the hell out of me.
Of course, there's that movie they show you in sex ed featuring the inside
of the male reproductive system ... ever wonder how they got that? Fiber
optics. Ouch. He even ejaculates during the film. Where'd they find this
guy?
ObTasteless:
WANTED
Man to masturbate for public television with a fiber optic cable
rammed into his johnson. Must have high tolerance for excrutiating pain and
be able to ejaculate with a camera in his schlong. Send resumes to ...
Dale R. Worley
what she had been doing. For the entire ten years that she had been
married, she had been serving her husband coffee that had as its special
ingredient: Menstrual discharge!!!
This revelation also explained why her husband always complained that the
coffee at work tasted strange.
Robertson Davies mentions the use of menstrual blood as a love charm
in The Rebel Angels. (Unfortunately, it's not a tasteless book, even
though the first page promises some unusual behavior, and there are a
couple of truly strange murders in it.) He attributes it to Gypsy
culture.
However, it's possible that this charm doesn't really exist in other
cultures, but it is *attributed* to other cultures by ours.
Dale
Dale Worley Dept. of Math., MIT d...@math.mit.edu
--
If there is a bedrock principle underlying the First Amendment,
it is that the Government may not prohibit the expression of an
idea simply because society finds the idea itself offensive or
disagreeable.
-- Justice William J. Brennan, expressing the opinion of the
Supreme Court in "Texas v. Johnson" (1989, flag-burning)
David Skreiner
>k...@austin.ibm.com (Ken Goach IBM) writes about a fucked-up
>>biker on acid who had taken a CB radio antenna and snaked about
>>a foot of it up his urethra.
>
>but that frightens the hell out of me.
Go to the doc and piss blood. You'll get the medical equivalent of a
large car antenna shoved up your willie into your bladder. a) it
hurts, b) your dick farts for a few hours, c) it hurts even several
hours later, when that anaesthetic they put onto the metal rod waers off.
>Of course, there's that movie they show you in sex ed featuring the inside
>of the male reproductive system ... ever wonder how they got that? Fiber
>optics. Ouch. He even ejaculates during the film. Where'd they find this
>guy?
In this newsgroup, maybe? They would have trouble with that: If you
just pump the prick (OK, the penis) (the guy I mean) full of Nvo-
caine, he's definitely not going to ejaculate... But then, fibre
cables and cameras are really small - they pushed one through a vein
in my father's arm all the way into his heart, it's about 1 - 2 mm
across. Now with masturbation, that guy would have to wank until
he reaches that point where he'll come anyway, no matter whether
he keeps pumping... And then try and hold still or the shots will
be blurry and he'll have to do it again. Bummer....
ciao dave
_________________________________________ __________________________
"Of course I'm crazy, but that doesn't | dskr...@metz.une.edu.au
mean I'm wrong. I'm mad but not ill." | da...@htu.tu-graz.ac.at
----------------------------------------- --------------------------
Disclaimer: My opinion are mine, and you can't have them.
I'd like to speak for UNE or TUGraz, but they won't let me.