Update on Her Couchness
drdoody
At 478 pounds, Gayle Grinds had become the invisible woman.
Her neighbors never knew Grinds was among them, even though she lived in her
small, fading, green row house in the Golden Gate community south of Stuart
for 10 years.
Social services agencies hadn't heard of her; Grinds got by on Social
Security checks while suffering from life-threatening obesity. Visitors
rarely came. Grinds lived in a squalid home with a man unable to care for
her, stuck too far from the stove to cook, too far from the bathroom to take
a shower.
Rescuers had to fabricate a makeshift stretcher big enough to accommodate
478-pound Gayle Grinds when they came to her home Aug. 10.
Strangely, there is no trace of Grinds in the 1981 Martin County High School
yearbook, even though she attended that school for four years. Her name
isn't there. Her picture is missing.
It is as if she never existed.
"My mom didn't like anyone taking pictures of her," said Grinds' 14-year-old
adopted daughter, Deanna. "She was a proud woman."
Grinds would have turned 40 on Aug. 27. She died early Aug. 11 at Martin
Memorial Hospital South. Her case was so disturbing that some members of the
ER crew that night sought counseling, according to a hospital spokeswoman.
Grinds had been lying on a dirty burgundy-and-gray fabric couch in her
living room for most of the past six years when family members called 911
late on Aug. 10 to report that Grinds was having difficulty breathing.
Unwashed for months, lying in her own excrement, couch fabric intertwined
with the skin of her back, Grinds screamed in pain when the rescuers, clad
in protective gear, tried to lift her.
They had to fabricate a makeshift stretcher big enough to accommodate
Grinds, a 4-foot-10 woman who weighed 140 pounds more than the 7-foot-1
Shaquille O'Neal, but they couldn't fit her into an ambulance. With Grinds
still fused to the couch, they laid her on a borrowed trailer pulled by a
pickup. Surgeons never had time to separate her from the couch. She died
less than two hours after being hospitalized.
While her death certificate lists "morbid obesity" as the cause of her
passing, police said they are investigating the circumstances surrounding
Grinds' care. Criminal neglect charges, they said, are possible.
Humiliation began with a fall
Earlier in her life, things were different for Grinds.
In her 20s, she was visible in the community where she lived at the time, a
blighted, high-crime complex of $100-a-month rental units in East Stuart.
Gregarious, already 300 pounds but mobile, Grinds was known as a great cook
who loved to pass around her fried chicken and fish. She had a giant
appetite, but she told friends a thyroid problem made her obese.
Former neighbors said she already lived with Herman Thomas, a roofer who was
with her until the end. At the time, Thomas was bringing home enough of a
paycheck to buy a small Japanese car that Grinds used to drive residents to
the supermarket or church.
"Gayle Grinds?" repeated Alice Robertson, a longtime resident of the Tarpon
Commons complex. "Everybody knew her. She was a nice lady. You couldn't help
liking her. She was well-adjusted. You could hear her laugh all over the
complex. She stood out because she was so big."
Although she didn't have any children of her own, Grinds asked a local judge
to award her custody of a 9-year-old boy and 3-year-old girl orphaned when
Grinds' younger sister, Jessie, died at 25. She also was known to watch
other residents' children.
"She was a good mother to us," said Deanna, the girl whose custody Grinds
was awarded in 1992. "She was buying us stuff all the time. She taught me to
cook."
About the same time, however, Grinds' life changed in the few seconds it
takes to lose one's footing.
Years of humiliation started with a fall.
"She was just walking in the complex, and she fell in mud," Robertson said.
"I remember waiting for the ambulance with her. She was in pain. She was
lying in mud, and no one could lift her up until the ambulance came. She
broke her leg pretty bad."
According to Robertson and another neighbor at the complex, John Harris, it
took Grinds almost a year to recover. While she was laid up with pins in her
left leg, she gained another 100 pounds. For a time, she got around in a
wheelchair, then with the help of a walker. Eventually, she became mobile
again, and in 1994 moved a few miles south to Golden Gate, into her last
home.
Couch an island of no return
In 1998, said Vivian Kendricks, Grinds' older sister, she fell again and
broke the same leg. She sought treatment and recovered, Kendricks said, but
never left her couch again.
"There is one thing that kept my sister on that couch - fear," Kendricks
said. "She had been in such pain when she broke her leg that she was too
afraid it would happen again."
Thomas, Grinds' longtime boyfriend, could not be located after Grinds'
death. But several of Grinds' acquaintances said he couldn't take care of
her - except to get her basic groceries.
Basically jobless, Thomas looks 20 years older than his 54 years. Criminal
records show he has been arrested on drug- and alcohol-related charges,
including a DUI on his bicycle in 2002. He was described by one Golden Gate
neighbor as someone who did little more than sit alone in the yard for most
of the day, drinking bottles of Budweiser while Grinds lay on the couch.
Then, just as Grinds needed help the most, relatives also were in trouble.
Her younger brother, Clifford Grinds, was arrested 14 times in Martin County
in the past 20 years on charges ranging from cocaine possession to assault
and robbery. He was sentenced to a total of 14 years in prison. And Marcus,
the son that Grinds adopted from her sister, last year was arrested for
allegedly trying to shoplift a camera from a Stuart Wal-Mart.
One cousin in an ideal position to help said she didn't know about Grinds'
problems. When Grinds adopted her niece and nephew, court documents show,
she listed her cousin Evelyn Harris as the person who would take care of
them if she died. That cousin is a family support worker for the state's
Department of Children and Families in Stuart, which has a unit charged with
taking care of adults who can't take care of themselves. By law, DCF workers
must report cases of children or adults in need of services.
Harris, a 23-year DCF veteran, hung up on a reporter when asked about
Grinds. Later, she put out a statement through the department's public
relations office.
"I am deeply saddened by the loss of my cousin," she wrote. "I had no
knowledge of the condition of my cousin or the home, as I had not been
inside the home for more than five years. Had I known about the condition of
my cousin and the home, I would of course have done something."
All of Harris' work evaluations at DCF showed performance ranging from
"exceeding expectations" to "outstanding."
DCF later issued this statement by Christine Demetriades, a DCF public
information officer: "After looking into this matter, the Department of
Children and Families has no reason to believe there was any misconduct on
the part of our employee Ms. Harris. Ms. Harris has always been a very
capable and caring employee."
Deplorable living conditions
On her couch - mostly watching television, Kendricks said - Grinds sank into
depression, according to an acquaintance who visited her three years ago.
The home became so squalid that some of Grinds' friends who used her to
watch their kids stopped taking them there.
The stench of stale urine and feces still emanated from the home two days
after Grinds died, reaching the street 90 feet away, and at least two
adjacent properties. Scrawny cats jumped in and out of the house through a
broken floor-level window.
When the fire-rescue crew arrived at the house, they found a sparsely
furnished home with no air conditioning and letters piled on a table with
cockroaches eating their way through the envelopes. Around the space where
Grinds' couch had been, they saw dozens of empty Publix soda cans strewn on
the floor. Empty bags of Doritos, Ruffles chips, an ice-cream cone wrapper
and rotting, maggot-infested oranges had been thrown on the floor among
unwashed pants, T-shirts and underwear.
A television and stereo equipment were on the floor - bare concrete in some
parts. In the kitchen, the fridge wasn't working and contained several
plates of decomposing food. Two bedrooms had mattresses on the floor,
including one partly burned, among clothes, paperwork and more food
wrappers.
Two of Grinds' three surviving siblings couldn't explain why rescuers found
her in such a shape. Brother Clifford Grinds, now out of jail and living 5
miles away, said he loved his sister.
"She was the sweetest person I knew," he said. "If we knew things were so
bad, we would have done something." He declined to comment further.
And sister Vivian Kendricks said she did visit Grinds once in a while,
washing her on her couch and cooking for her. She didn't remember the last
time she saw Grinds and said nothing seemed to be wrong with her lifestyle.
"I know she started feeling real bad two weeks ago," Kendricks said. "But
she had asthma. My sister was hard-headed. She just wouldn't get off that
couch."
Kendricks said people in her neighborhood of East Stuart have been looking
at her differently since the news spread.
"Some say we should go to jail for letting her deteriorate," the 44-year-old
Kendricks said. "Why should we go to jail? Gayle was a grown woman. She
could make her own decisions."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------
Doc
--
"I'm completely in favor of the separation
of Church and State. My idea is that
these two institutions screw us up
enough on their own, so both of them
together is certain death."
George Carlin
SpaceMonkeyGleep
"drdoody" <drd...@dieslowly.sbcglobal.net> wrote:
> "Some say we should go to jail for letting her deteriorate," the 44-year-old
> Kendricks said. "Why should we go to jail? Gayle was a grown woman. She
> could make her own decisions."
And *RIGHT THERE* is the key to the whole thing: She was a grown woman,
and she could make her own decisions. She decided to become the ultimate
couch-potato. Her decision, her problem, case closed, game over. Thank
you uncle Chuck!
--
GLEEEEEP!
drdoody
news:Fictitious-D25E6...@typhoon.sonic.net...
Ahhh, but you didn't see the second irony of that statement.
Nowadays, when a yard ape say, gets perforated by the John Laws or is
executed for being a murdering savage, it's never "his fault". The blame is
always heaped upon "society" or "the legal system"... never the person. But
this case illustrates that the only time blacks in america are willing to
assign blame to one of their number is when that idividual's actions stand a
good chance of getting other blacks into trouble.
Alraune
> > > Kendricks said. "Why should we go to jail? Gayle was a grown woman. She
> > > could make her own decisions."
> >
> > And *RIGHT THERE* is the key to the whole thing: She was a grown woman,
> > and she could make her own decisions. She decided to become the ultimate
> > couch-potato.
>
> Ahhh, but you didn't see the second irony of that statement.
>
> Nowadays, when a yard ape say, gets perforated by the John Laws or is
> executed for being a murdering savage, it's never "his fault". The blame is
> always heaped upon "society" or "the legal system"... never the person. But
> this case illustrates that the only time blacks in america are willing to
> assign blame to one of their number is when that idividual's actions stand a
> good chance of getting other blacks into trouble.
>
C'mon, Doc, they don't have lynchings anymore.
Except in Texas.
<rimshot>
Alraune
wheelchair zippy
"Grizzled" <ble...@mailblocks.com> wrote in message
news:00a7i0lr3sgcreuc5...@4ax.com...
> On Wed, 18 Aug 2004 18:45:57 GMT, "drdoody"
> <drd...@dieslowly.sbcglobal.net> wrote:
>
> >Nowadays, when a yard ape say, gets perforated by the John Laws or is
> >executed for being a murdering savage, it's never "his fault". The blame
is
> >always heaped upon "society" or "the legal system"... never the person.
But
> >this case illustrates that the only time blacks in america are willing to
> >assign blame to one of their number is when that idividual's actions
stand a
> >good chance of getting other blacks into trouble.
>
>
> covered in shit. Wait a minute....it's the same thing. Nevermind.
Likely she could have made herself a fortune working for
the creative videographers at http://www.scatinbrazil.com/
Jos
>
> Except in Texas.
>
> <rimshot>
>
> Alraune
Jeebus fraggin' Christ - just think of the industrial-grade hawser
needed to hang _that_ Lump'o'Lard(tm).
I mean, what would you tie it to?
Jos
SpaceMonkeyGleep
josbor...@yahoo.co.uk (Jos) wrote:
I'm thinking that one would want to use the hawser you mentioned, *VERY*
long - several hundred feet - at least, with a grappling hook or similar
implement on the "free" end. Position self & rope & LardLump<TM> at the
side of a freeway, preferably near the highest speed limit zone one can
find/transport LardLump<TM> to, then wait for a semi to go flying by.
Throw grapple to connect with semi. Watch entertainment.
One would, of course, want to be careful where one stands in relation to
the rope betwixt grapple and LardLump<TM>...
--
GLEEEEEP!
EMT420
drd...@dieslowly.sbcglobal.net wrote on 8/18/04 1:14 PM:
> Her case was so disturbing that some members of the
> ER crew that night sought counseling, according to a hospital spokeswoman.
>
Again, I have to say, my eternal sympathies and respect to the EMTs and
firefighters who hauled her carcass out of that slum. None of them will EVER
forget the sights or the smells of that day as long as they live. Remember
Swan's "Engrams for LIFE!" post? There you go.
As for me, I don't think I'd have been able to do it. I've been on calls
where the urge to drop everything and quit on the spot was so intense I just
divorced myself from my senses and went into robotic mode. I don't think I
could have done so here. I'd have run screaming down the street and never
looked back.
Those EMTs are better and stronger persons than myself.
As for race, part of me wants to say it was one Dirty-Ass Nigger (DAN[tm])
who didn't give a shit about herself, surrounded by a bunch of other DANs
who didn't give a shit about her or each other. But I think the whole set of
circumstances that allowed her to deteriorate the way she did was more a
factor of her being a lazy, fat face-stuffing cow than a DAN.
It stands to reason no one went in to check on her. It's like when you're a
kid, and the family dog shits in the living room: you pretend not to notice
it lest you be the one forced to clean it up.
ObT: I actually said a small prayer to the gods for those poor EMTs.
*shudder*
ObT2: Went to the ER Tuesday after 24 straight hours of liquishits
(progressing to passing straight blood), puking, and stomach pain. Got the
obligatory tummy-thumps, finger-up-the-ass, and an IV of saline, phenergan
and morphine. Mmmmm....morphine. Feel a bit better now. Had the first solid
shit in three days this morning (green, soft-serve, and smelling of Hell
itself). X-rays proved conclusively that I was NOT in fact gestating an
alien. I'll pass on the colonoscopy this time, however.
Miz Daisy Cutter
"wheelchair zippy" <along...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> http://www.scatinbrazil.com/
(with apologies to Frank Sinatra...(*))
Way down among Brazilians
Scheisse flicks made by the millions
They've got all those orders from the Krauts to fill...
They make an awful lot of scat films in Brazil!
You can't get plain ol' spanking,
It just doesn't get 'em wanking,
'Cuz they love it when an anus starts to spill....
They make an awful lot of scat films in Brazil!
No pee or vagina juice;
They think there's a finer juice,
The whorehouse out in Manaus, they say oh, oh, oh...
The politician's daughter
Was producing shit like water
So they put her on a triple-X scat bill....
They make an awful lot of scat films in Brazil!
Brazilian porn stars, no one cuter,
But they smell just like a Roto-Rooter,
Their douches from a diaper they distill...
They make an awful lot of scat films in Brazil!]
And when the stunt cock needs some savor,
Fresh santorum gives him flavor
It's the fluffer's very favorite thing to swill....
They make an awful lot of scat films in Brazil!]
Yes, shit-brown is the local color,
But the action's much less duller,
So if you've got the shits and also time to kill....
They make an awful lot of scat films in Brazil!
(*)
http://www.elyrics.net/go/f/frank-sinatra-lyrics/coffee-song,-the-lyrics/
-- Daze
--
I doubt you're the only person who's complained that the Saudis
don't have an international all-beheading cable TV/satellite
channel yet.
-- A. Lizard
Ace Lightning
>ObT2: Went to the ER Tuesday after 24 straight hours of liquishits
>(progressing to passing straight blood), puking, and stomach pain. Got the
>obligatory tummy-thumps, finger-up-the-ass, and an IV of saline, phenergan
>and morphine. Mmmmm....morphine. Feel a bit better now. Had the first solid
>shit in three days this morning (green, soft-serve, and smelling of Hell
>itself). X-rays proved conclusively that I was NOT in fact gestating an
>alien. I'll pass on the colonoscopy this time, however.
so what the fuck was wrong with you? do they have the
outhouses uphill from the well at Raceway Park or something?
or was it just a sausage that had been kept warm all day?
(i once got a nasty case of food poisoning from exactly
that. you know those things that cook hot dogs on a bed
of rollers? when the dog they served me hadn't been on
the rollers long enough to even get warm, i asked for
one that was more cooked... so they gave me an old
dried-out overcooked one from the back of the cooker.
at the time, i didn't mind, because i like 'em a little
on the over-done side. but it must have been sitting there,
*below* 160 F., for half a day at least. made a damned good
culture medium...)
ObContrary: phenergan makes me puke. and not in a nice way.
Ace Lightning
>> http://www.scatinbrazil.com/
>They make an awful lot of scat films in Brazil!
brilliant parody!
i must point out that scatinbrazil also makes an awful
lot of puke films, although in the majority of cases
the puking is more or less incidental to the shit games.
either someone pukes as a side effect of eating shit,
or it's part of a whole "human toilet" scene, where one
hapless "bottom" is pissed, puked, shat, and spooged on
by an assortment of others. but there are a few Brazilian
"puke party" films which just seem to feature pretty girls
(wearing bikinis and/or lingerie, some of which gets taken
off) eating and drinking various things, then sticking their
fingers down their own and each other's throats. in a few
cases, they even look as if they're all having a reasonably
good time. maybe they're bulimic?