Concert at the Church (rant)
BrassWoman
I'm back after several weeks' absence, and it's good to be home among CFers.
Because I live and work (and spent the holiday) among lots and lots of
breeders, I find myself in need of either therapy or regular fixes of ascf.
Especially right now, as you are about to learn:
Saturday night I went out to a concert -- one of those academic, historical
concerts with the funky, not-very-loud medieval instruments, unamplified
singing, etc. It promised to be a good time, meaning a nice, quiet evening
out. I should also mention that the fellow putting on the concert was doing so
as part of an audition to get into a VERY prestigious graduate music program,
so the pressure was on to make this performance the best it could be.
The scene was set, and it was a marvelous scene: tiny New England church, only
10 pews in the place. Beautiful acoustics, silence in anticipation of the
performers' entry into the sanctuary UNTIL...
Some stupid fucking breederbutt walks in (30 seconds before the performance
began) with an INFANT! No, not just an infant, a sneezing, coughing, SICK
infant. To say I was enraged would be putting it very mildly. Mommee stayed
through all but the last three minutes of the first half of the concert and
waited until the little shriekling was at maximum caterwaul before taking it
out of the room.
From the moment she walked in, I was seething. There were only 20 people in
the room (20 people who had paid 10 bucks a head, btw). This was a small town,
and so even though I wanted to walk over and tell her to get out NOW, and maybe
ask her what the FUCK she was thinking, I did not. Instead I sat on my hands
and bit my tongue, my ears blazing bright red. The performer came out to say a
few brief words before the concert began. He told us about the music, the
composer, the instruments, etc., then thanked the gracious pastor of the church
for letting him rent their space for the performance.
Folks, it was then that I learned that we were not being graced with the
presence of your garden-variety breederbutt idiot, but the Right REVEREND
Breederbutt Idiot. I was relieved that I had not made a scene when she
entered, but I made up my mind that instant that I could NOT let this blatant
idiocy go without saying something to her about it. Not that night, because I
was much too upset, and I truly feared that I was about to start boxing her
ears. But I wrote the following letter. I haven't sent it yet, because I'd
like your input first. Here it is:
Dear Reverend Breederbutt,
I attended Saturday night’s concert at St. A's, anticipating a quiet evening of
unamplified classical music in an intimate setting. I understand that this
concert was also Mr. B’s audition to a very prestigious Ph.D. program in
Musicology, and as such was a very serious undertaking for him -- an
undertaking in which I also looked forward to lending my support.
I was shocked and very upset at your choice to bring an infant into such a
setting. The same lovely acoustics that would have enhanced the musicians'
performance amplified every sound your child made. Please understand that I do
not find fault with your child, who, I am sure, made no more noise than any
other infant would. However, I take strong exception to your choice to remain
in the sanctuary for nearly the entire first half of the concert, in spite of
the disruption that your presence caused.
The concert was ruined for this listener. I only hope that the representatives
from the music school were better able to set aside their own annoyance.
Yours sincerely,
Tess
(If you want to email me, please write to Brass...@HOTMAIL.com rather than
AOHell, 'cause I'm having email troubles there. Thanks.)
monica
>Dear Reverend Breederbutt,
>
>I attended Saturday night’s concert at St. A's, anticipating a quiet evening of
>unamplified classical music in an intimate setting. I understand that this
>concert was also Mr. B’s audition to a very prestigious Ph.D. program in
>Musicology, and as such was a very serious undertaking for him -- an
>undertaking in which I also looked forward to lending my support.
>
>I was shocked and very upset at your choice to bring an infant into such a
>setting. The same lovely acoustics that would have enhanced the musicians'
>performance amplified every sound your child made. Please understand that I do
>not find fault with your child, who, I am sure, made no more noise than any
>other infant would. However, I take strong exception to your choice to remain
>in the sanctuary for nearly the entire first half of the concert, in spite of
>the disruption that your presence caused.
>
>The concert was ruined for this listener. I only hope that the representatives
>from the music school were better able to set aside their own annoyance.
>
>Yours sincerely,
>Tess
TESS!! You are my new hero!! I am so psyched for you (and the rest
of the CF contingent on the planet) that you wrote this beautiful
letter!! I can only hope that the good reverend shares it with as
many people as possible, and that they may also reveal their own
disappointment in her actions. (yeah, dream on....)
monica
E l i s e
Let it rip, Tess. Nicely written. As both an acoustic and amplified
musician, you have my complete and utter admiration for writing such a
letter.
Elise
Cheryl M Padula
BrassWoman <brass...@aol.comX> wrote:
>Because I live and work (and spent the holiday) among lots and lots of
>breeders, I find myself in need of either therapy or regular fixes of ascf.
Uh-oh..warm up the electro-shock kit..
>The scene was set, and it was a marvelous scene: tiny New England church, only
>10 pews in the place. Beautiful acoustics, silence in anticipation of the
>performers' entry into the sanctuary UNTIL...
*cringes in mortal terror of the horror she knows is coming*
>
>Some stupid fucking breederbutt walks in (30 seconds before the performance
>began) with an INFANT! No, not just an infant, a sneezing, coughing, SICK
>infant. To say I was enraged would be putting it very mildly. Mommee stayed
>through all but the last three minutes of the first half of the concert and
>waited until the little shriekling was at maximum caterwaul before taking it
>out of the room.
>
Auugh! Predictable, yet still infuriating.
Gee, you mean it didn't "fuss quietly" like a Naomi-Baby (tm)?
>Folks, it was then that I learned that we were not being graced with the
>presence of your garden-variety breederbutt idiot, but the Right REVEREND
>Breederbutt Idiot.
This sucks. You would think that, as the pastor of that church, Rev.
Breeder would be more aware than anyone of the problem of screeching sprog
during services/etc. I'd hate to be a member of her congregation..:P
>entered, but I made up my mind that instant that I could NOT let this blatant
>idiocy go without saying something to her about it.
You go!
[excellent letter snipped] I think this letter is perfect. It is brief,
to-the-point, brings the point home nicely, and (amazingly..I dunno how
you did it) retains a sense of politeness. Good job!
Cheryl
Steve/Beth George
(snip horror story of a coughing, wailing infant attending a concert)
: But I wrote the following letter. I haven't sent it yet, because I'd
: like your input first. Here it is:
: Dear Reverend Breederbutt,
I assume that you're not REALLY going to use this salutation!
(Snip extremely well-written letter.)
You, go girl. Excellent job. You made your point, pre-empted the "s/he's
just a bay-beee!" excuse and kept the moral highground. Send it just as
it is, with the breederbutt's name replacing the word "Breederbutt!"
--Beth
Rich Grise
> began) with an INFANT! No, not just an infant, a sneezing, coughing, SICK
> infant.
> Folks, it was then that I learned that we were not being graced with the
> presence of your garden-variety breederbutt idiot, but the Right REVEREND
> Breederbutt Idiot.
> Yours sincerely,
> Tess
Unfortunately, if the reverend was really that obnoxious breeder, then
she probably LIKES to have shrieklings in her services - that cosigns
her bullshit. Why else do you think they're so hurting for customers?
--
Rich Grise
off-...@entheosengineering.com
(No need to putz around with my e-mail - I have a "DELETE" button!)
Scott Eiler
vici...@pitt.edu (Cheryl M Padula) wrote:
>>Folks, it was then that I learned that we were not being graced with the
>>presence of your garden-variety breederbutt idiot, but the Right REVEREND
>>Breederbutt Idiot.
>
>This sucks. You would think that, as the pastor of that church, Rev.
>Breeder would be more aware than anyone of the problem of screeching sprog
>during services/etc.
On the contrary. One out of two church pastors I've seen dealing with
screaming children, think that screaming children are a tangible sign of
God's goodness. According to horror stories I've heard, the actual ratio
of pastors who think this to all pastors is closer to 1/1.
>I'd hate to be a member of her congregation..:P
I suppose now would be a tasteful place to state that the Cyber-Church of
Jesus Christ Childfree is still in action. Send me e-mail if you want to
join the mailing list. I predict a lively group discussion in the near
future, because I swiped a copy of "Focus on the Family" from my church
recently, with the cover story "Children: A Blessing From the Lord". I'll
be quoting from the Focus on the Family Guiding Principles.
-------- Scott Eiler B{D> -------- http://www.ultranet.com/~seiler
"This whistle was touched by the President's lips."
"What wasn't?"
-- From the Superman Adventures, by Hilary J. Bader.
Ginny Baker Gibbs
>In article <740rtk$549$1...@usenet01.srv.cis.pitt.edu>,
> vici...@pitt.edu (Cheryl M Padula) wrote:
>
>>>Folks, it was then that I learned that we were not being graced with the
>>>presence of your garden-variety breederbutt idiot, but the Right REVEREND
>>>Breederbutt Idiot.
>>
>>This sucks. You would think that, as the pastor of that church, Rev.
>>Breeder would be more aware than anyone of the problem of screeching sprog
>>during services/etc.
>
>On the contrary. One out of two church pastors I've seen dealing with
>screaming children, think that screaming children are a tangible sign of
>God's goodness. According to horror stories I've heard, the actual ratio
>of pastors who think this to all pastors is closer to 1/1.
>
I went to a church recently where the rector actually mentioned in the
bulletin and during the "announcements that need to be stressed from or added
to the bulletin" part of the service, that parents needed to keep their
children under better control.
Rant warning! Rant warning! Unchurchy folks need not read on...
That service was totally ruined for me by the behavior of one extremely noisy
and rambunctious little boy and his sister. Their dullard parents did NOTHING
except mug at them and make amused "What are you doing, my pwecious chillllld"
faces at them from beginning to end. They were actually egging them on! I kept
getting distracted, and tried to catch the father's eye. No dice. It was a
fairly casually-dressed congregation, by the way, but these folks looked like
they had dressed out of the laundry pile.
Then the rector made his announcement, showing some signs of testiness.
Apparently the problem was that kids were running wild during coffee hour,
making a mess in the schoolrooms and leaving balls and things all over the
grass (we're still having unseasonably warm weather here). He had found toys
scattered all over the property all week long and was annoyed at having to
gather it all in. It seemed pretty pointed and I thought "Well, good for
him." I wasn't all that impressed with the music, though, so I was still on
the fence as to whether I'd be a regular. Music is pretty important to me.
The second part of the service - the solemn part that an old rector of mine
used to call the Big Finish - was also ruined at first. Little Boy, who had
spent the earlier part of the service crawling on the floor, playing with the
kneelers and talking to his dad in a loud voice... said all the words along
with the rector REALLY LOUD. As it was a sung service at that point (which I
love), it was truly annoying. Finally, finally, Daddeee took the boy out the
back. Peace!
And yes, church school was in session, as the rest of the kids joined us at
that point. Why that kid and his equally noisy little sister wasn't in it was
beyond me.
As I left, I knew I probably wouldn' t be back. Nice folks otherwise, nice
place, didn't do it for me because the music wasn't to my taste. And the kid
and his family left faster than I did - I got the impression they were
avoiding the rector after the service.
--
Ginny
RED57 at AOL dot COM
Remove -nospam to e-me...spammers should be beheaded and not read.
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Sharon Molloy
On Sat, 5 Dec 1998, Ginny Baker Gibbs wrote:
> I went to a church recently where the rector actually mentioned in the
> bulletin and during the "announcements that need to be stressed from or added
> to the bulletin" part of the service, that parents needed to keep their
> children under better control.
<snip>
> As I left, I knew I probably wouldn' t be back. Nice folks otherwise, nice
> place, didn't do it for me because the music wasn't to my taste. And the kid
> and his family left faster than I did - I got the impression they were
> avoiding the rector after the service.
My church is trying to recruit new members, and makes an effort to have
something for all age groups.
Some time ago a young couple with at least one kid dropped in to have a
look around. When they got to the Sunday school area they turned right
around and left forever. It wasn't Good Enough for Brittheny.
On the plus side, there have been considerable renovations since then.
_/\/\_
Sharon
Scott Eiler
<Pine.GSO.3.95.iB1.0.98...@halifax.chebucto.ns.ca>,
Sharon Molloy <an...@chebucto.ns.ca> wrote:
>My church is trying to recruit new members, and makes an effort to have
>something for all age groups.
>
>Some time ago a young couple with at least one kid dropped in to have a
>look around. When they got to the Sunday school area they turned right
>around and left forever. It wasn't Good Enough for Brittheny.
>
>On the plus side, there have been considerable renovations since then.
I've decided that the best sort of church we childfree people can hope for
(aside from the Cyber-Church of Jesus Christ Childfree, of course) is a
church that contains parents but sends breeder mommees and daddees sulking
away.
My own regular church is like that; the last breederdaddee I saw there
raised a stink and left, because the part-time Sunday school superintendent
wasn't there to see Little Precious get a gold star for attendance. Never
mind that the superintendent is an unpaid volunteer, and had to work every
other Sunday to make ends meet.