Horrid Sprog at Marshall's (Long, Vent, Rant, Urge to Kill.... RISING)
Trou
Brief background. I'm an engineer who works in a big office building, in
the middle of a cube farm of other software engineers. High cube walls +
no-open windows + direct sunlight equals much heat when the AC breaks,
which it did early this week. It probably won't be fixed until next
week, so instead of continuing to sweat up my good suits, I decide to go
get some lightweight summer clothes. (I'm not a "summer" person, so I
don't really own any to start with.)
Off I go to the local Marshall's on my lunch hour. I find a nice light
skirt and a blouse or two, and I'm pleased since they don't cost an arm
and a leg. While I'm finding them, there are moomies all over the
place... I'd forgotten that they haunt places like this during the day.
The worst is a harried-looking woman about my age, with a squalling
fleshloaf in the requisite giant stroller, and a three or four year old
female sprog dressed in some icky-cute pink outfit with ribbons all over
its head. By bad luck, this trio seems to end up everywhere I go in the
store... near the sale racks (Bratleigh running around under them and
shrieking), in the dressing room (Bratleigh with mom in the room next to
mine, shrieking at the top of her lungs) and finally, in line to cash out
(moomie buying more little pink things for Bratleigh, who is shrieking in
fury at not being allowed to buy a plastic bead necklace to go with her
pink stuff. Moomie, of course, gives in.)
As the cashier is finishing ringing them up, I'm gritting my teeth while
I watch Bratleigh insist on demonstrating her "ballet steps". Then, when
she's ordered to be quiet, she stands next to me and inserts her index
finger up her nose to the depth of the third knuckle, digging around in
there with a look of ruminating contentment on her face. I'm extremely
repulsed, but I figure what the hell, five minutes from now I'm out of
there and can forget I ever saw this woman and her hellspawn.
Just as the cashier hands Moomie her bag and receipt, Moomie (without
looking around) says reprovingly, "Jessamyn, you're not picking your
nose, are you?" Sprog whips finger out of nose guiltily, looks around,
and then... get ready for it...
PROCEEDS TO WIPE SNOTTY FINGER ON MY PANTS LEG.
Have you ever had one of those moments when all you can think is, "Holy
Jesus Christ up a flagpole, that didn't just happen, did it?!?!?!" My
jaw dropped, and I was so stunned and so outraged that I couldn't do
anything for a moment. (I mean, people just don't expect other people to
wipe snot on them in the course of daily life in a civilized country.)
Meanwhile, Moomie, Jessammmmmynnnnn and fleshloaf are all trundling gaily
through the doors of Marshall's, while I stand there holding my summer
clothes and gaping.
Epilogue: the cashier was very sympathetic. She got a paper towel and
some dry-cleaning fluid they use for the clothes in Marshall's
(apparently this snot-wiping happens to the merchandise all the time) and
cleaned my pants for me. And, after I cashed out, I changed immediately
into one of my new outfits in the dressing room. I'd burn the other one
if it wasn't Escada.
Catalog shopping for me from now on.
-Trou
---------------------------------------------------
"Today's game is brought to you by Otter Beer, in the original
long necked bottle! When you want a refreshing brew with a bite,
you Otter get a longneck!"
Sean
>and then... get ready for it...
>
>PROCEEDS TO WIPE SNOTTY FINGER ON MY PANTS LEG.
>
>
The cashier noticed this, and the mother didn't? Good lord. I honestly think my
reflexes would have kicked in and resulted in a lawsuit-generting kick to the
offending brat- glad you mnaged to restrain yourself.
The child turned his face up to Dr. Lecter in a full wheedle. "Gimme a bite?"
"I'd very much like to," Dr. Lecter replied, noting that beneath the
child's big head, his neck was only as big around as a pork tenderloin, "but
you wouldn't like it."
-TH
hereti...@my-deja.com
technot...@NOSOUP.4u.net (Trou) wrote:
snip
> Off I go to the local Marshall's on my lunch hour. I find a nice
light
> skirt and a blouse or two, and I'm pleased since they don't cost an
arm
> and a leg. While I'm finding them, there are moomies all over the
> place... I'd forgotten that they haunt places like this during the
day.
eeeEEEUUUUU! The Day of The Living Breeders! Wandering aimlessly
though the malls, armed with Sports Utility Strollers, leaking
breast milk . ...
> The worst is a harried-looking woman about my age, with a squalling
> fleshloaf
*SQUALLING*FLESHLOAF*
What a wonderful way with words you have!
> in the requisite giant stroller,
See above (SUS)
> and a three or four year
old
> female sprog dressed in some icky-cute pink outfit with ribbons all
over
> its head.
(trembling in horror) Thank )O(goddess)O( my mother never did
that to me. I was truly blessed.
> By bad luck, this trio seems to end up everywhere I go in
the
> store...
It could be an apparition of some sorts, to warn you.
Look what your life could be if you followed the Familee Uber
Alles party line . . ..
snip
> As the cashier is finishing ringing them up, I'm gritting my teeth
while
> I watch Bratleigh insist on demonstrating her "ballet steps". Then,
when
> she's ordered to be quiet, she stands next to me and inserts her index
> finger up her nose to the depth of the third knuckle, digging around
in
> there with a look of ruminating contentment on her face.
(thanks for sharing that moment with us)
> I'm
extremely
> repulsed, but I figure what the hell, five minutes from now I'm out of
> there and can forget I ever saw this woman and her hellspawn.
>
> Just as the cashier hands Moomie her bag and receipt, Moomie (without
> looking around) says reprovingly, "Jessamyn, you're not picking your
> nose, are you?" Sprog whips finger out of nose guiltily, looks
around,
> and then... get ready for it...
>
> PROCEEDS TO WIPE SNOTTY FINGER ON MY PANTS LEG.
Oh.my.god.
> Have you ever had one of those moments when all you can think is,
"Holy
> Jesus Christ up a flagpole, that didn't just happen, did it?!?!?!"
So astoundingly outre you cannot expect such a thing . . .
> My
> jaw dropped, and I was so stunned and so outraged that I couldn't do
> anything for a moment. (I mean, people just don't expect other people
to
> wipe snot on them in the course of daily life in a civilized country.)
What ever made you think that this country was civilized?
>
> Meanwhile, Moomie, Jessammmmmynnnnn and fleshloaf are all trundling
gaily
> through the doors of Marshall's, while I stand there holding my summer
> clothes and gaping.
>
> Epilogue: the cashier was very sympathetic. She got a paper towel
and
> some dry-cleaning fluid they use for the clothes in Marshall's
> (apparently this snot-wiping happens to the merchandise all the time)
and
> cleaned my pants for me. And, after I cashed out, I changed
immediately
> into one of my new outfits in the dressing room. I'd burn the other
one
> if it wasn't Escada.
oooh. That makes it ever so much worse.
I shall NRVER go to Marshall's.
Thank you for the warning.
But after all, look at that . .. that . .. abysmal spokes'toon
they have, the UberMoomie"Marsha" of the SS (SuburbanShoppers)
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
Abbie F.
>RISING)
>From: technot...@NOSOUP.4u.net (Trou)
<snip arduous search for cool clothing>
>Sprog whips finger out of nose guiltily, looks around,
>and then... get ready for it...
>
>PROCEEDS TO WIPE SNOTTY FINGER ON MY PANTS LEG.
Astonishing! I think I would've shrieked in horror. Yet another reason to
remain CF... preferring your clothes phlegm-free.
There aren't many sprog in the offbeat shops where I get just-for-fun casual
outfits (cheap, trendy python-print stuff few moomies would *want* to wear,
LOL!), but one never knows... This just reminds me how useful it is to find a
few manufacturers who fit you well and stick with them... that way you can
order by mail or online and be reasonably sure the clothing will fit. The
bluefly site has a wide range of designers.
"Empty brains are easier to wash." - Abbie
meb
Is there any possibility to spank the sprog and get away with it?
A few weeks ago, I stopped by a nice bagel place next to the
university for dinner, and as I walked up to the counter, two
sprogs rushed up & tried to cut in (age range 6 to 8 perhaps).
I blocked them, but was stuck with them crowding me to my
left.
When they got into my U.S.A.-defined personal space, I whacked
one in the head with my elbow. He just bounced away. (I should
be able to stick my arms out and spin around without hitting
anyone .... I respect that people from other countries don't
require this much personal space, but in the U.S., this seemed
to be a typical distance until a few years ago.)
I sincerely regret not turning and yelling at them to get into
line or go back to their parents. Elbowing people (and I will
do that to adults) is passive-aggressive, but the breeders seemed
to have repealed all respect for manners.
-Mb
p.s. instead of doing a follow-up: my mother said she was once
stuck in line behind a 3-year-old kicker. My mother turned around
and said: "STOP. IT. NOW." and the sprog stopped and pouted. The
breeder/caretaker just pretended not to notice.
My point? It isn't just the CF who are appalled at this behavior.
You do have a right to call the sprog in some manner if the
breeder/caretaker won't.
Renee
>Is there any possibility to spank the sprog and get away with it?
>
<snip>
>
>p.s. instead of doing a follow-up: my mother said she was once
>stuck in line behind a 3-year-old kicker. My mother turned around
>and said: "STOP. IT. NOW." and the sprog stopped and pouted. The
>breeder/caretaker just pretended not to notice.
>
>My point? It isn't just the CF who are appalled at this behavior.
>You do have a right to call the sprog in some manner if the
>breeder/caretaker won't.
I had an interesting conversation at my hair salon last night. My
friend and I were there, and about midway through our appointments,
the owners' babys!tter showed up with the two kiddies - one 8 or so,
one 2 1/2.
Naturally, they're fairly bored to be back at Ma and Pa's salon yet
again, and the oldest one is loudly entertaining itself. Okay, it's
leaving customers alone, I can ignore it. The younger one - holy crap,
is this thing a monster. It's climbing stuff, trying to grab Pa's arm
while he's cutting someone's hair, and randomly *hitting* his parents,
in that defiant, smug way that makes me want to put a curling iron
down its throat. I'm aghast, and feel a little sorry for the owners as
they ineffectively say "Tony, no! Tony, get off that! Tony, stop
that!".
(If these were strangers' kids, I would have thought horrible
thoughts, but since I've been a customer so long, and know the parents
reasonably well, I realized that they were *attempting* to remain
professional, even if it meant that the *environment* wasn't. Still
sucks, of course).
Anyhow, after all the other patrons had left, my friend said "Wow,
you've got more patience than I do. I would have smacked Tony way
before now", and in all seriousness, Pa replied "we don't dare at
work, because we'll probably get charged". My friend and I immediately
chimed in "Go ahead! We'll never tell!" And that every child probably
needed 3 good smackings in its childhood, just so it knows the option
is *there*. The kid immediately started behaving better.
Oh, and I've found a really good response to having newb*rn pics
shoved at you. My reply was "Wow. That thing looks like it was just
squeezed out of someone!" met with a pleasingly uncertain grin and
immediate withdrawal of the photo.
Renee
Warning: Keep out of reach of children. They're really, really annoying.
Akira
>
> Just as the cashier hands Moomie her bag and receipt, Moomie (without
> looking around) says reprovingly, "Jessamyn, you're not picking your
> and then... get ready for it...
>
> PROCEEDS TO WIPE SNOTTY FINGER ON MY PANTS LEG.
Ooh, that's sufficient grounds for justifiable homicide in my book.
--
Akira (akira AT clark.net) - Remove AT to respond to me.
"A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men."
Virginia
(without
> looking around) says reprovingly, "Jessamyn, you're not picking your
> nose, are you?" Sprog whips finger out of nose guiltily, looks around,
> and then... get ready for it...
>
> PROCEEDS TO WIPE SNOTTY FINGER ON MY PANTS LEG.
>
holy sh*t on toast, i would have yelled "what the f* are you doing?!" louder
than any brat could about not getting its way (although that would probably
get me slapped with some lawsuit for swearing in front of a brat). my very
deepest sympathies to you for a situation that has probably ruined the
wearing of that particular outfit -- although there ought to be a way to get
some humor out of it with some cf friends. yeesh!
va :-o
(who's stomach is still turning)
Trou
Green...@worldnet.spamless.att.net says...
> Oh. My. God. And I thought the term "noseminer" was more a figure of
> speech.
>
> This is truly disgusting. I would've probably chased the handler out of
> the store shrieking about it - you showed admirable restraint.
> As a kid I was never allowed to get near or touch strangers, much less
> wiping bodily fluids all over them! My mother was also a tissue freak, and
> we always had some in our pockets.
I think it was less "admirable restraint" than it was paralytic shock and
horror. I don't spend much time around children, ever (I like it that
way, I plan it that way, I make sure of it) and so the whole thing just
utterly floored me. I mean, I knew they were awful little beasts, but
*dang*...
-- Trou
Lizzie
<MPG.1371fa707...@news.newsguy.com>...
>
> Just as the cashier hands Moomie her bag and receipt, Moomie (without
> looking around) says reprovingly, "Jessamyn, you're not picking your
> nose, are you?" Sprog whips finger out of nose guiltily, looks around,
> and then... get ready for it...
>
> PROCEEDS TO WIPE SNOTTY FINGER ON MY PANTS LEG.
>
Oh. My. God. And I thought the term "noseminer" was more a figure of
speech.
This is truly disgusting. I would've probably chased the handler out of
the store shrieking about it - you showed admirable restraint.
As a kid I was never allowed to get near or touch strangers, much less
wiping bodily fluids all over them! My mother was also a tissue freak, and
we always had some in our pockets.
Liz
Marisa Wood
> The worst is a harried-looking woman about my age, with a squalling
> fleshloaf in the requisite giant stroller, and a three or four year old
^^^^^^^^^
"Fleshloaf"? ROTFLMAO! I love it! Sounds like something on the menu at the
Modest Proposal.... ;-)
Marisa
Akira
>
> I heard that in China this is pretty much the norm (especially in the more
> crowded cities) and so people elbow and bounce away from each other all the
> time without even saying "excuse me". Is this true?
>
> Omixochitl
Yep. In many parts of Asia, especially in crowded cities, personal space is
considerably smaller than in the U.S. People will jab you, cut in front of you,
bump into you. Nobody will apologize nor will anyone expects one (expect
perhaps visiting Westerners), running into one another is just a fact of life.
Renee
wrote:
>meb <m...@zippa-dee-doo.net> wrote in <390877B2...@zippa-dee-doo.net>:
>
>>When they got into my U.S.A.-defined personal space, I whacked
>>one in the head with my elbow. He just bounced away. (I should
>>be able to stick my arms out and spin around without hitting
>>anyone .... I respect that people from other countries don't
>>require this much personal space, but in the U.S., this seemed
>>to be a typical distance until a few years ago.)
>
>I heard that in China this is pretty much the norm (especially in the more
>crowded cities) and so people elbow and bounce away from each other all the
>time without even saying "excuse me". Is this true?
I can't speak for China "proper", but from my observations of the
folks getting onto the Chinatown streetcars here in Toronto: Yes.
Hordes of people slamming willy-nilly into one another, shoving,
pushing, elbowing, jockeying for position, and absolutely not
objecting that it's being done right back.
Then, oddly, sitting as far apart from one another as possible, and
screaming conversations back and forth at the top of their lungs.
So, evidently, it's different "personal space" criteria in different
areas. I try to account for that when mine is violated, but it's
harder than you might imagine!
meb
Renee wrote:
>
<snip other posts>
> I can't speak for China "proper", but from my observations of the
> folks getting onto the Chinatown streetcars here in Toronto: Yes.
> Hordes of people slamming willy-nilly into one another, shoving,
> pushing, elbowing, jockeying for position, and absolutely not
> objecting that it's being done right back.
>
> Then, oddly, sitting as far apart from one another as possible, and
> screaming conversations back and forth at the top of their lungs.
>
> So, evidently, it's different "personal space" criteria in different
> areas. I try to account for that when mine is violated, but it's
> harder than you might imagine!
Is that how China is taking over the West? We've all been infected
with a personal-space imploder virus! =8-0 (Joke!)
When I was in Dublin for almost a week, following-up a lovely
2-week hiking trip with Irish Youth hostels in Connemara, I noticed
the lack of personal space stuff there as well. If I just slowed down a
bit
on the sidewalk to position myself to get to a crosswalk, I would get
whacked on the head with an umbrella.
About a week after returning to the US, I went on a road trip with
some friends. When we were at a multi-restaurant rest-stop on a
NJ highway, everyone complained about the miserable crowd except
me. My "extended arm with a fist" boundary was being respected, so I
was a happy camper.
-Mb