XP: My dinner with Madeline (LONG)
Gutterboy
Bottom of the Gene Pool since my disastrous experience at the K mart last
weekend. My dinner companion was the friend who was along for the K mart
expedition. We had picked a Vietnamese restaurant.
(This story is 110% true.)
First you have to imagine the layout. The door is in the center of the
building. Ahead is the maitre d' station. To the left is a non-smoking area
with lots of familee-sized tables. To the right is a bar area with more tables
(several two- and four-tops) and ashtrays on the tables.
The joint was crowded. There was a wait. I signed us up for non-smoking. Within
two minutes, two separate tables with children at them (in non-smoking) erupted
in unholy shrieking. You know how one dog starts to bark and sets off all the
dogs in the neighborhood? I quickly changed the preference to smoking.
There was a two-top available immediately (since most of the others waiting had
sproggen in tow). We sat down and prepared to order. Next to us, in the center
of the room, was an empty table for eight. Well, a group must have grown tired
of waiting for the clean-air section, because they were seated there. Among
this group was Madeline, and that's where our story begins.
Madeline was about 4. The adults at the table were two couples, a girl about
12, and an older woman who seemed to be one of the fellows' mother. Madeline's
mother was twentysomething, but dressed in a manner that made her look matronly
and churchy: bangs, "demure" dress cut up to her throat, Home Shopping Network
"nice" jewelry. She was also about nine months pregnant. (More on that later.)
So they were seated. In under 30 seconds, Madeline was aloft, running across
the restaurant to check out the fish in the tank. Daddee hauls her back. Away
she goes again. Daddee hauls her back, this time producing a Krazy Straw with
Tarzan on it. This does not keep Madeline from yowling.
At this point, it apparently occurs to Mommee that perhaps Madeline won't enjoy
the fiery spices used in Vietnamese cooking. Fanning herself with the menu, she
addresses her husband: "When she [the waitress] shows up, ask if they can fix a
plate of Tater Tots for Madeline."
This proves impossible. The group accepts the news that the kitchen does not
have Tater Tots with remarkable equanimity. As the waitress leaves, a man at a
nearby table ignites a cigarette. Mommee looks alarmed and says to Hubbee,
"You'd better get her out of here while he's smoking." Daddee dutifully hauls
Madeline off to gaze at the fish in the tank.
I go to the bar, buy a pack of cigarettes, return to the table, light one, and
leave it in the ashtray. My dinner companion is greatly amused.
Daddee returns once the immediate threat to Madeline's health is extinguished.
Pre-teen girl chirps, "Madeline's back!" and proceeds to carry her around the
table so she can bestow a kiss on each diner ("Give Madeline a kiss!").
At this point, the older woman makes an inquiry about Mommee's pregnancy, and
this is the reply:
"We have it scheduled for Wednesday, barring any complications. The doctor
wants to induce labor, just as he did with Madeline. It's not complicated. You
get a shot, and start to dilate: 1 centimeter, 2 centimeters, 3 centimeters. By
the time you get to 4 centimeters, if you're lucky, the head is coming down the
birth canal..."
As she describes the workings of her plumbing, the waitress arrives with our
plate of squid. We both glance at it and start laughing again. Mommee shoots us
a dirty look.
Squid is good. Soup is good. Rice is fluffy. Madeline is noisy. At one point,
she jumps up and scurries into the bathroom--the MEN'S bathroom. "Get her!"
squeals Mommee, and Daddee, grunting, complies.
Just as we finish the meal, Madeline jumps up again and runs into the women's
room. Daddee fetches her again (no doubt thrilling any occupants of the women's
john). But when they come out this time, Daddee isn't carrying her...and
Madeline is walking in a distinctly bowlegged fashion, with the back of her
sweet little dress drooping.
"Madeline pooed herself!" Daddy announces in anguished tones.
We cannot help our laughter. The check is paid. We decide to vamoose. On the
way out, we stop in the men's room.
Just as we stop laughing, the door opens. It's Daddee. And Madeline. And you
can smell 'em a mile away.
My friend bolts for the door. Daddee stops at the sink, trying to figure out
the best place to clean up Madeline.
And, thanks to this group, I know exactly what to do next.
Staring at Daddee and Madeline, I unbutton my fly and let the Little Gutterboy
out. They gape in horror that someone would Expose! His! Penis! while a
Chiyyuld Is Present!
Still smiling at them, I turn to the urinal and give Madeline a demonstration
of how the other half makes a tinkle.
Daddee SNATCHES Madeline and rushes her into a stall, slamming the door.
I finish my business, humming a tune, wash my hands, and head outside. The meal
was delicious and remarkably inexpensive, but I would've paid twice the price
for the evening's entertainment. St. Madeline of the poopy drawers, I salute
you, and I hope you got an eyeful.
Gutterboy
_____
"She's eatin' for two.
He's drinkin' for three..." -- Exene Cervenkova
hronn
wrote:
>Just as we stop laughing, the door opens. It's Daddee. And Madeline. And you
>can smell 'em a mile away.
>
>My friend bolts for the door. Daddee stops at the sink, trying to figure out
>the best place to clean up Madeline.
>
>And, thanks to this group, I know exactly what to do next.
>
>Staring at Daddee and Madeline, I unbutton my fly and let the Little Gutterboy
>out. They gape in horror that someone would Expose! His! Penis! while a
>Chiyyuld Is Present!
>
>Still smiling at them, I turn to the urinal and give Madeline a demonstration
>of how the other half makes a tinkle.
>
>Daddee SNATCHES Madeline and rushes her into a stall, slamming the door.
>
>I finish my business, humming a tune, wash my hands, and head outside. The meal
>was delicious and remarkably inexpensive, but I would've paid twice the price
>for the evening's entertainment. St. Madeline of the poopy drawers, I salute
>you, and I hope you got an eyeful.
>
>Gutterboy
That's so cute :) Of course ppl like that would be flabbergasted. Over
here daddy would have probably smiled at you while proceeding to clean off
the kid in the sink. Dads here take their girls (under 6) to the mens
locker room at the pools if it's more convenient, just like women take
their sons sometimes.
Hrönn
C&S
Gutterboy wrote a splendid story about an active toddler who had an
accident:
>
> Staring at Daddee and Madeline, I unbutton my fly and let the Little
Gutterboy
> out. They gape in horror that someone would Expose! His! Penis! while a
> Chiyyuld Is Present!
>
> Still smiling at them, I turn to the urinal and give Madeline a
demonstration
> of how the other half makes a tinkle.
All I can say is, she's a lucky girl. ;-)
Cristabel. I wonder if Mommee asked about it?
Barracuda Grrl
On a somewhat related note, I was changing after a work-out in my gym's
change-room, which was recently invaded by a handful of smallish, unruly
sprogs... I'm not a shy gal at the best of times, and I saw this as the
perfect occasion to show off my nipple piercings... <grin> I hope to hell
that their mum had a lot of uncomfortable questions to answer that night.
Barracuda Grrl, back from vacation.
Michelle
-- Michelle, still ROFL
BrennaGwyn Campbell
doctors, in an effort to have modern efficiency and have their lives
disturbed as less as possible "schedule" births. Also notice that Mommee
chose a Wednesday, insuring that she would have a short "work-week," rather
than a Friday or something. Sounds like exploitation on both parts.
Bren
Kent
WTF?? I've missed the original post of this one, once again!
Kent
Holly G. <ori...@mindspring.com> wrote:
: x-no-archive: yes
: Gutterboy wrote:
:>
:> Staring at Daddee and Madeline, I unbutton my fly and let the Little Gutterboy
:> out. They gape in horror that someone would Expose! His! Penis! while a
:> Chiyyuld Is Present!
:>
:> Still smiling at them, I turn to the urinal and give Madeline a demonstration
:> of how the other half makes a tinkle.
: ROFLMAO!!!!! (wiping eyes) damn, i wish i could have been a fly on the
: wall and seen the expression of horror on dadeee's face and the "duh?"
: expression on the devilspawn's face when you let junior out, lol...
: Gutterboy, you're my hero!
Michelle
hronn
they're more than a week or two or three the doctors will choose to induce
labour. I don't think you can walk up to a doc and say "I want an induced
labour on wednesday so I can get off work". I don't think the doc could
say either "I want to induce your labour on wednesday so I can play golf on
the weekend". Maybe he did but if that's the case that's very unethical.
Hrönn
Rat & Swan
>
> Friday night I went out to dinner in the burbs. This was my first Voyage to the
> Bottom of the Gene Pool since my disastrous experience at the K mart last
> weekend. My dinner companion was the friend who was along for the K mart
> expedition. We had picked a Vietnamese restaurant.
>
> (This story is 110% true.)
EXCELLENT, GB!
The sad part is that when Madeline first ran into the men's room then
the women's room she was *trying* to *tell* the a-dolts something!!
There are times when it behooves such idiots to *listen* to the
crotchling.
Again, a glorous tale, Gutterboy! And whipping out the old lozard was
the master stroke (if I can say that)!
Swan
Who *listens* to my dog! The time she woke me up at three in the
morning, by God, I got into bathrobe and slippers and *took* *her*
*outside*!! Even a dog can communicate something that basic.
Rat & Swan
Any plans on getting labia or clit pierced? (wicked grin)
Speaking of edge metal...
Friend of mine is a fulltime slave in a Mistress/slave relationship. She
is a beautiful, statuesque woman, proud and assertive and VERY committed
to lifelong service to her Mistress who is a professional (no not THAT
prefession... academic!) and rather wealthy. The Mistress took her
slave and had a solid gold, rather heavy linked chain made that goes
around the slave's waist and between her legs, up to the back and
connects. Not a chastity belt, but a constant 'reminder' to r. that she
is property. Both women are passionately in love. Anyway, r. goes
through the airport and the chain alerts the sensors. She steps behind
the little area and shows the guard the chain, saying "It's welded on.
I'm a slave."
Did I mention that the woman is Black? She said the expressions on ALL
the security personnel's faces (Black AND White) were absolutely
priceless!
Swan
Who admires r. and her lucky Mistress.
Rat & Swan
>
> WTF?? I've missed the original post of this one, once again!
Not a problem.
I just emailed it to you. I think it belongs in the archives.
Gutterboy at his (usual) finest!
Swan
Lisa Mann
Gutterboy, you are truly evil! And we love you for it!
Lisa
Gutterboy wrote in message <19990822004318...@ng-fc1.aol.com>...
>Friday night I went out to dinner in the burbs
<snip>
nok...@freedom-net.zzn.com
> I don't think the doc could
> say either "I want to induce your labour on wednesday so I can play golf on
> the weekend". Maybe he did but if that's the case that's very unethical.
>
> Hronn
There used to be a doc in xxxx, XX who only delivered babies on
Tuesdays and Thursdays. He didn't want any interruptions in his
schedule. I heard recently that he was sued big time and lost, but I
have no idea what the circumstances of the suit were.
jeanie, free to schedule whatever.... whenever
Kent
Yeah, thanks (to you, GB, and Lorz, who all sent it to me). As it turns
out, I didn't realize when I wrote the above that it was cross-posted, and
I DID get it in the unmod group. Great story; besides the piece de
resistance at the end, I especially loved the Tater Tots expectation and
the whining about smoke--in the Smoking section! And GB's purchase and
lighting of cigarettes in response thereto (BTW, you can 'smoke' a cig
without actually inhaling, just suck in and blow out the smoke, for
further 'contamination' of Baybee's Pweshuss Air!)
Kent
John & Mari Morgan
>On Sun, 22 Aug 1999 00:44:39 CST, gutte...@aol.comcfcfcf (Gutterboy)
>wrote:
>
>(in men's room)
>>Staring at Daddee and Madeline, I unbutton my fly and let the Little Gutterboy
>>out. They gape in horror that someone would Expose! His! Penis! while a
>>Chiyyuld Is Present!
>That's so cute :) Of course ppl like that would be flabbergasted. Over
>here daddy would have probably smiled at you while proceeding to clean off
>the kid in the sink. Dads here take their girls (under 6) to the mens
>locker room at the pools if it's more convenient, just like women take
>their sons sometimes.
And that is perfectly fine with me, as long as Moomee and Daddee don't
have shitfits when little Monstra/o sees things like Little Gutterboy.
It IS a restroom, after all, and it's hard for Gutterboys to take a
whiz without letting the Little Gutterboy out of the trous. And the
restroom's the most appropriate place for me to flip my skirt up and
adjust my garters without worrying that someone's going to have a
conniption because my undies are transparent. What are those brats
doing _looking_ anyway? Didn't their parents teach them to keep their
eyes to themselves? (Rhetorical question. :-))
Personally, I like the "genderless restrooms" some places have. Just a
room with a toilet and sink and maybe a baby changing shelf.
Mari (notorious for boldly walking into vacant men's rooms to avoid
long lines in ladies' rooms - when I gotta go, I gotta go, and I just
smile at the next man who walks in after me!)
John & Mari Morgan
>Well, maybe she was overdue. Some women always go a bit overdue and if
>they're more than a week or two or three the doctors will choose to induce
>labour. I don't think you can walk up to a doc and say "I want an induced
>labour on wednesday so I can get off work". I don't think the doc could
>say either "I want to induce your labour on wednesday so I can play golf on
>the weekend". Maybe he did but if that's the case that's very unethical.
Actually, it's not all that unusual here in the US to schedule births
like that. I have met some women who have bragged about being induced
so their brats can have a certain birthdate or so they wouldn't risk
going into labor on a holiday weekend when hospital staffs are short
or their preferred obstetrician is on vacation. During the late
Eighties and early Nineties here in the US it was _quite_ the thing to
schedule Caesarians several weeks in advance in otherwise normal
pregnancies to avoid the whole labor-and-delivery idea altogether,
although this idea seems to be fading out a bit with the resurgence of
more primitive parenting methods like AP. There are a LOT of
obstetricians here who will bend over backwards and do just about
_anything_ to please their preggo patients, probably to keep their
malpractice insurance premiums from going up since these new mommies
will sue for millions over the smallest human error that would be
pretty much excused in anyone except an obstetrician.
Mari (for some sad reason, women seem to gravitate toward me to tell
me aaaaaaaalllllllll about pregnancy, labor and delivery. I must look
like I give a shit or something.)
Sean
>like that. I have met some women who have bragged about being induced
>so their brats can have a certain birthdate
And we KNOW the sprogging lines that are going to be forming at the hospital
maternity wards this December 31st, right? I can practically see it now:
"Hey, why does SHE get to be the first one who has labor induced! Give me that
damn injection so I can be the one to have the new years' baby! I'll make it
worth your time doc...whattya want? Money? Drugs? Sex? Once you've had a
preggo, there's NO goin' back, I tell ya..."
"The great tall tailor always comes
To little boys who suck their thumbs;
And ere they dream what he's about
He takes his great sharp scissors out
And cuts their thumbs clean off,---and then
You know, they never grow again."
-Heinrich Hoffmann
delain
misi...@aol.comacamelon (Sean) wrote:
> >Actually, it's not all that unusual here in the US to schedule births
> >like that. I have met some women who have bragged about being induced
> >so their brats can have a certain birthdate
>
> And we KNOW the sprogging lines that are going to be forming at the
hospital
> maternity wards this December 31st, right? I can practically see it
now:
>
> "Hey, why does SHE get to be the first one who has labor induced!
Give me that
> damn injection so I can be the one to have the new years' baby! I'll
make it
> worth your time doc...whattya want? Money? Drugs? Sex? Once you've
had a
> preggo, there's NO goin' back, I tell ya..."
(I really could have done without that last line) A woman I used to
work with was due to be born over New Year's, and the doctor gave her
father the choice of her being born on Dec. 30th or Jan. 1st, as he
didn't want his New Year's Eve celebration interrupted. Her father
chose the 30th so he could claim her as a tax deduction for that year.
She sounded somewhat pissed about it when she told me, and I can't say
as I blame her.
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Share what you know. Learn what you don't.
Margaret
>
>Personally, I like the "genderless restrooms" some places have. Just a
>room with a toilet and sink and maybe a baby changing shelf.
>
>Mari (notorious for boldly walking into vacant men's rooms to avoid
>long lines in ladies' rooms - when I gotta go, I gotta go, and I just
>smile at the next man who walks in after me!)
>
I do that all the time too, and for some reason it drives my husband crazy!
Margaret
gnipgnop
grumbled hoping they heard me and left unsatisfied with my evening, but you have
inspired me! I can't wait for my next bad famlee encounter.
Gutterboy, you've created a monster.
let me at 'em!!
gnipgnop
Dimi
>
> Why is that there are always long lines in ladies' toilets? Is it because
> it takes longer when you have to use a cubicle? Why didn't anyone invent a
> female urinal?
>
It takes longer 'cause we have more to do in there, and there's usually
more of us who have to go or go more frequently.
They did invent a female urinal quite a long time ago, but it went out
of use, thankfully. I've still seen a couple of them in the train
stations here in Vienna, and I just decide to hold it if that's all
they've got. I don't squat well, and the toilets have no paper--what are
we supposed to do, shake ourselves dry???
Dimi
Rebecca
>Mari (notorious for boldly walking into vacant men's rooms to avoid
>long lines in ladies' rooms - when I gotta go, I gotta go, and I just
>smile at the next man who walks in after me!)
Me:
I do that too. I did it once at the Arrowhead Pond in Anaheim during an ice
skating tour, and was stopped by security on the way out. Was told that was
illegal.
He wasn't going to "do" anything to me, but he had to tell me because a few of
the women in line were angry. Angry about what? That I had the nerve to do
what they wish they had done? That I took care of my bladder and was able to
go see the rest of the show? Because I didn't take their prewsheeous sproggen
with me? Get real!
Rebecca
IleneB
yank around and adjust- girdles, stockings, etc. It's like getting
dressed all over again. Going to the Symphony is the worst. (Going to a
blues beer joint is the simplest).
Ilene B "more blues, less Symphony- getting older"
>
> Why is that there are always long lines in ladies' toilets? Is it because
> it takes longer when you have to use a cubicle? Why didn't anyone invent a
> female urinal?
>
> Kiwi Byrd
Aynthem
<Snip wonderful story>
All I can say is that I think you're lucky not to have been
arrested as a "prevert" by this point for exposing the of course
oh-so-fragile-and-delicate-Madeline (I have to ask, was she
wearing a wide-brim yellow hat?) to the EEEEEEEEEEEEvil Penis,
under the theory that any glimpse of an adult genital will scar a
child for life and be responsible for all future relationship
problems (under the guise of sexual abuse), unless of course said
genital belongs to mommee either a) changing her tampon in full
view of sprog or b) providing the milk for lunchtime at school.
Sorry for the run-on sentence.
Melody
Children: America's Gross National Product. - Florence King
Kent
: x-no-archive: yes
: 2. If necessary, two or maybe three men can pee simultaneously in one
: urinal, can't they? I mean, I know it's not ideal, but if it's
: necessary I would think they could do it. That would be kinda hard
: with women! LOL
I'd LOVE to see the reaction to THIS suggestion, monica! We used to do it
as kids (and "sword fight"!), but you want to see a bunch of men go into
apoplectic spasms, just suggest this! Of course, lots of coliseum-type
places have men's rooms where there is just a wall with water trickling
down it, for everyone to grab a spot between whoever they can, and I have
seen bars in Greenwich Village where all they had in the men's room was an
old bathtub for everybody to line up at, but somehow "sharing" a
urinal/toilet would violate most guys' "masculinity", methinks.
Kent
Jas
>
> Mari wrote:
> >Mari (notorious for boldly walking into vacant men's rooms to avoid
> >long lines in ladies' rooms - when I gotta go, I gotta go, and I just
> >smile at the next man who walks in after me!)
Me too, and I've gotten some dirty looks from men when I come out, but
who cares! Looks aren't gonna kill me. And nobody's ever actually said
anything to me (except "You go, girl!"...which is quite literally what I
did! ;-D)
I road trip quite a bit, usually with girl friends, and on the gas
station bathroom stops I could never understand why so many of them will
herd up around the lone ladies' loo while the men's remains vacant. I'm
infamous for just trucking on into the men's and doing my thing. I just
can't see the sense in waiting if there's an empty bathroom *right*
*there*. Fortunately, I've won a number of my friends over to the dark
side, so whiz stops don't take so long any more.
Of course, I always have the decency to announce "Women on the deck"
before entering a men's room that has more than one stall in it, just so
anybody who's shy can have time to turn their back or otherwise adjust.
But why is it that so many men's rooms have NO DOORS ON THE STALLS???
Jas
(a little shy about squatting in front of all and sundry)
--
....but wotthehell archy wotthehell
jamais triste archy jamais triste
that is my motto.
Gutterboy
>mon...@nntp4.atl.mindspring.net wrote:
>: x-no-archive: yes
>
>: 2. If necessary, two or maybe three men can pee simultaneously in one
>: urinal, can't they? I mean, I know it's not ideal, but if it's
>: necessary I would think they could do it. That would be kinda hard
>: with women! LOL
>
It ain't gonna happen.
>I'd LOVE to see the reaction to THIS suggestion, monica! We used to do it
>as kids (and "sword fight"!), but you want to see a bunch of men go into
>apoplectic spasms, just suggest this! Of course, lots of coliseum-type
>places have men's rooms where there is just a wall with water trickling
>down it, for everyone to grab a spot between whoever they can,
While traveling in Europe, I came across a volcano-shaped urinal. It sat in the
middle of the room, with water coming out of the top and trickling down the
sides. You had 360 degrees of pee space.
and I have
>seen bars in Greenwich Village where all they had in the men's room was an
>old bathtub for everybody to line up at,
I thought you were a nice boy.
Gutterboy
_____
"She's eatin' for two.
He's drinkin' for three..." -- Exene Cervenkova
Kent
: Wrote Kent:
: and I have
:>seen bars in Greenwich Village where all they had in the men's room was an
:>old bathtub for everybody to line up at,
: I thought you were a nice boy.
Mais Oui! These are NOT the kind of bars where someone might actually be
IN the tub when it was being used, I should add. Such things have I only
read about.
Kent (guess it's time to get a new halo!)
Jason G
>
>I'd LOVE to see the reaction to THIS suggestion, monica!
Mkay. My reaction is "no fucking way." Not because it would violate my
masculinity, but because it would violate my privacy. Straight, gay, or
indifferent, I don't like other people watching me piss. I absolutely
LOATHE the Piss Trench type bathrooms, or the big troughs.
--
Jason G.
"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because
he knows where all the bad girls live."
Jason G
>
>Me too, and I've gotten some dirty looks from men when I come out, but
>who cares! Looks aren't gonna kill me. And nobody's ever actually said
>anything to me (except "You go, girl!"...which is quite literally what I
>did! ;-D)
Okay, here's a question. Assuming a multiple-holer, if a man walked into the
women's restroom I daresay he would not be treated positively. He would more
likely be arrested or reported to mgmt. as a "pervert."
For one holers, though, I have no problem with going right into the women's
toidy instead of waiting, like at a Burger King or whatever. And I sometimes
get an evil thrill out of leaving the seat up.
>But why is it that so many men's rooms have NO DOORS ON THE STALLS???
Because men or more likely to do Naughty Things in there, like jacking off or
having sex.
Which drives me crazy because I do not like taking a public shit. I want at
least a little cubey to do my bidness in. One of the most uncomfortable
situations that I've ever been in was in the Portland airport. Sat down, got
arranged, and then realized that someone had removed the entire metal toilet
paper assembly, leaving a 2 x 3 ft opening to the next stall, which was
occupied. It was the "I see nothing, I hear nothing, nothing exists outside
of my straight ahead thousand-yard stare." urinal vibe times about a million.
Luckily, there was paper on the back of the toidy. (I ALWAYS check first that
there is some somewhere!)
John & Mari Morgan
>Mari wrote:
>>Mari (notorious for boldly walking into vacant men's rooms to avoid
>>long lines in ladies' rooms - when I gotta go, I gotta go, and I just
>>smile at the next man who walks in after me!)
>
>Me:
>I do that too. I did it once at the Arrowhead Pond in Anaheim during an ice
>skating tour, and was stopped by security on the way out. Was told that was
>illegal.
I have been told a few times that it's illegal for women to use men's
rooms, but well, so's public urination in most places. I am "lucky"
(?) enough to have a letter from one of my doctors saying that I have
a bladder condition that necessitates frequent voiding and thus I
should have access to whatever facilities are in existence to avoid
unpleasant accidents. I actually got the idea from a mommee whose
bladder got messed up with the whole pregnancy thing and just asked my
doctor for it. Mostly I've used it in places where there's no public
toilet but there's one for employees, but I've had to whip it out for
security before. (Another rant entirely - I dunno WTF it is with
security guards sometimes. They're all too often puffed up with their
own importance when they HAVE no importance. My husband worked as a
rentacop for about two years so I can tell you that it typically takes
no education or special skills to do it and that mostly it's just
stalking around in an ugly polyester uniform looking down your nose at
people. He worked for one of the "top" *cough* contract security
companies in the area and they _still_ hired basically anyone who
walked in their door and didn't have a felony criminal record. I
accompanied DH for his interview and sat in the waiting room next to a
young man who had to ask the secretary to read the application
questions out loud to him and write down what he told her to. He was
hired, too.)
>He wasn't going to "do" anything to me, but he had to tell me because a few of
>the women in line were angry. Angry about what? That I had the nerve to do
>what they wish they had done? That I took care of my bladder and was able to
>go see the rest of the show? Because I didn't take their prewsheeous sproggen
>with me? Get real!
A sometimes-effective response if you don't care about potentially
offending people is to give them a totally deadpan look and ask if
they'd prefer you urinated on the floor outside the ladies' room while
you waited in the line for the "correct" room. When you have to go,
you have to go, and not all of us are blessed with capacious bladders
that allow a long wait before cutting loose!
Then again, if you've a plump belly like I do, you can always smile
beatifically and say "oh, this baby sits RIGHT on my bladder so I have
to pee ALL the time! Don't you just HATE that?" and breeze right by
the line of ladies. Beat 'em at their own game. :-)
(I do know some guys are uncomfortable with women in their restrooms,
so I do poke my head in and check if it's occupied first and do they
mind if I come in. I can't really remember ever being told anything
but "come on in" or "lemme zip up!")
Mari
John & Mari Morgan
jrgusen...@yahoo.ALLoooTHISoooTOoooREPLY.com (Jason G) wrote:
>Okay, here's a question. Assuming a multiple-holer, if a man walked into the
>women's restroom I daresay he would not be treated positively. He would more
>likely be arrested or reported to mgmt. as a "pervert."
Depends on the personalities of the women present. Personally, I
wouldn't get too freaked - one of my college dorms had coed bathrooms
so I am kind of used to the idea of guys and gals meandering around
the same loo - although I'd wonder why he was in there as usually the
men's rooms are "less populated" than women's rooms. And the popular
myth that ladies' rooms are cleaner than men's rooms is just that - a
myth!
I figure the womenfolks who would flake out are the ones who wouldn't
go into a men's room if you paid them a million bucks and clogged up
every toidy in the ladies'.
Mari (who remembers the uproar in the dorm hall the first day when the
new arrivals realized the two huge multi-holer bathrooms on the whole
floor were co-ed, shower areas - which were closed stalls - and all)
Scott Amspoker
>2. If necessary, two or maybe three men can pee simultaneously in one
>urinal, can't they? I mean, I know it's not ideal, but if it's
>necessary I would think they could do it.
[wiping tears of laughter from my face] If the restroom had 4 urinals then no
more than 2 men could piss at the same time. Most men would sooner piss on a
tree in public then stand next to another man at a urinal.
It's the same thing when two guys go to see the latest action blockbuster
together and they leave an empty seat between them in the theater. I've heard
it referred to as the "safety seat". Whenever I see something like that, I'm
feel thankful that I don't go through life worrying about that sort of thing.
True story involving a sprog, urinals, and "kids say the darndest things":
Several years ago a friend and I were in Newport Beach admiring the expensive
condos and checking out the occasional antique shop (for *him* - not me). We
stopped in this restroom somewhere along the beach to relieve ourselves. It
was one of those restrooms with a single long trough.
As we were standing at one end of the mile-long urinal, in comes a daddee with
his young sprog (about 4 or 5 years old). Fortunately, they go clear down to
the other end to do their business. Everything is quiet except for the sound
of urinating. My friend and I were just finishing up, our eyes staring
straight ahead at the wall and minding our own business, when the little boy
says to Daddee, "Those men have penises." I did everything I could to not
show any reaction as the restroom reverberation slowly dissipated.
We turned to leave - biting our lips. As we were going out through the door I
turned to my friend and said, just loud enough to be overheard, "They start
young here, don't they?"
Scott Amspoker |
s...@rt66.com |
http://www.rt66.com/sda |
John & Mari Morgan
>It's the same thing when two guys go to see the latest action blockbuster
>together and they leave an empty seat between them in the theater. I've heard
>it referred to as the "safety seat". Whenever I see something like that, I'm
>feel thankful that I don't go through life worrying about that sort of thing.
I've frequently heard it called the "I'm Not Gay Seat."
I agree that it's kind of silly to worry about. It takes a lot more
than sitting in adjoining seats to make me think a guy might be gay,
but then unlike the typical American I don't think not being
heterosexual is the end of the world, either. (Be kinda hypocritical
if I did, it would!)
Mari
Jas
>
> Mais Oui! These are NOT the kind of bars where someone might actually be
> IN the tub when it was being used, I should add. Such things have I only
> read about.
>
> Kent (guess it's time to get a new halo!)
<smile> Here Kent, you can borrow mine.
Jas
hronn
>Rebecca wrote:
>>
>> Mari wrote:
>> >Mari (notorious for boldly walking into vacant men's rooms to avoid
>> >long lines in ladies' rooms - when I gotta go, I gotta go, and I just
>> >smile at the next man who walks in after me!)
>
>Me too, and I've gotten some dirty looks from men when I come out, but
>who cares! Looks aren't gonna kill me. And nobody's ever actually said
>anything to me (except "You go, girl!"...which is quite literally what I
>did! ;-D)
I have been in men's rooms but I don't frequent them. I'd rather stand in
line than get the dirty looks I guess :) Not that I'd necessarily get
dirty looks. My haircut and dressing habits combined with a babyface get
me mistaken for a teenage boy at times. Actually I sometimes get dirty
looks going to the ladies as well :)
Once I was in a pub though and as I wanted to pee the ladies' was full and
so I went to the men's. A guy was peeing and as he saw me come in he
turned halfway around to look at me and quickly covered his dick. When I
got back to my table I told my cousin what I'd done and she had to go try
it too. She came back saying that she'd met a guy in there and he looked
puzzled as he asked her: "Isn't this just for men?" :)
Hrönn
hronn
jrgusen...@yahoo.ALLoooTHISoooTOoooREPLY.com (Jason G) wrote:
>Which drives me crazy because I do not like taking a public shit. I want at
>least a little cubey to do my bidness in. One of the most uncomfortable
>situations that I've ever been in was in the Portland airport. Sat down, got
>arranged, and then realized that someone had removed the entire metal toilet
>paper assembly, leaving a 2 x 3 ft opening to the next stall, which was
>occupied. It was the "I see nothing, I hear nothing, nothing exists outside
>of my straight ahead thousand-yard stare." urinal vibe times about a million.
>Luckily, there was paper on the back of the toidy. (I ALWAYS check first that
>there is some somewhere!)
Here's a good public toilet story for you. A friend of a friend ( ok, this
means it's probably not true :) ) was on vacation overseas. He needs to
take a shit bad so he goes to the men's room and finds that you have to pay
to get into a stall. He quickly does so and after doing the deed he
realizes there is no paper. He opens the door a bit and looks outside.
There is nobody there and he notices that there is a tp vending machine in
the middle of the room. So he takes a chance and hops to it with his pants
down to buy some tp. But as soon as he leaves the stall the door slams
shut and he had to pay again to get some privacy to wipe his butt :)
Hrönn
Kent
: Here's a good public toilet story for you. A friend of a friend ( ok, this
: means it's probably not true :) ) was on vacation overseas. He needs to
: take a shit bad so he goes to the men's room and finds that you have to pay
: to get into a stall. He quickly does so and after doing the deed he
: realizes there is no paper. He opens the door a bit and looks outside.
: There is nobody there and he notices that there is a tp vending machine in
: the middle of the room. So he takes a chance and hops to it with his pants
: down to buy some tp. But as soon as he leaves the stall the door slams
: shut and he had to pay again to get some privacy to wipe his butt :)
After hopping around with his trou on the floor, why would he be worried
about "privacy" when it came time to swab the deck? Like someone seeing
you wipe your ass is more embarrassing than someone seeing you lock
yourself out of a pay toilet? :)
Kent
hronn
You know. I never wondered about that myself. I suppose he was worried
that somebody might come in and see him. Which nobody had yet. So maybe
he figured it's best to pay again and get his nakedness out of sight fast.
Or maybe there wasn't a trashcan in there and he didn't wanna throw his
soiled tp on the floor or in the sink :)
Hrönn
Kent
:>After hopping around with his trou on the floor, why would he be worried
:>about "privacy" when it came time to swab the deck? Like someone seeing
:>you wipe your ass is more embarrassing than someone seeing you lock
:>yourself out of a pay toilet? :)
: You know. I never wondered about that myself. I suppose he was worried
: that somebody might come in and see him. Which nobody had yet. So maybe
: he figured it's best to pay again and get his nakedness out of sight fast.
: Or maybe there wasn't a trashcan in there and he didn't wanna throw his
: soiled tp on the floor or in the sink :)
I just wish THIS was the kind of scenario that Daddee and Madeline had
walked in on!
Kent
belial
Dimi wrote in message <37C258EC...@adcon.at>...
>They did invent a female urinal quite a long time ago, but it went out
>of use, thankfully. I've still seen a couple of them in the train
>stations here in Vienna, and I just decide to hold it if that's all
>they've got. I don't squat well, and the toilets have no paper--what are
>we supposed to do, shake ourselves dry???
Yeh! thats what we do :-)
..belial..
belial
Jason G wrote in message <7pui46$h3t$1...@nnrp02.primenet.com>...
>Mkay. My reaction is "no fucking way." Not because it would violate my
>masculinity, but because it would violate my privacy. Straight, gay, or
>indifferent, I don't like other people watching me piss. I absolutely
>LOATHE the Piss Trench type bathrooms, or the big troughs.
Yeh, I agree completely.
If thats all they've got you may as well go outside and piss on a tree...
it would be much better.
..belial..
A JadeWolf
public place, like a store or gas station, but only if it's the single-person
type. I don't think the guys or I would be very comfortable if I walked in on
'em. I did get a dirty look from a guy once, who opened the door (broken lock)
without knocking (I was all covered and finishing washing my hands) and wanted
to blame his embarrassment on me. I said, "This one was _empty_. See the line
for the women's room?" This was the Christmas Tree Shop, and the line was ~10
people, for a one stall bathroom.
On another note, when I visit my boyfriend at school, I exclusively use the
men's room, because he lives on a guy's hall and those stairways are cold!
It's got private stalls and curtained showers. Never gotten a complaint
(although I have gotten some admiring looks, since I wander in there in just my
little nightgown or a towel <g>).
I have got one complaint of my own, that the guy's room has no hand soap!
I've rarely been in a women's room with no soap, and the one or two at his
school I tried did have soap, but the guy's room doesn't even have a soap
dispenser! Maybe women just won't stand for that, but guys will...
Jen