"Chains of Solitude: Soliliques 2" TNG - AU (R, R/Fs implied, W/T)

[mari...@my-deja.com]

Disclaimers: Same as "Am I The Only One....". Don't sue, I have NO
MONEY!!!!!!! I am only utilizing your personnel for fun. No money will be
earned!!! ________________________________________________________ It's
been three years since I've seen them. I get letters once and a while; you
know, the obligatory "Well, it's been a busy year..." kind. I like to refer
to them as mail bombs. They seem to destroy my semblance of a life once I've
opened them. Baby pictures and birthday parties. So far, there's been very
little change on my compass. It still points north. Numerous experiments have
failed to act as a catalyst. It's really starting to annoy me, you know. I
want kids. I want someone to wake up to everyday. I want to be a grandfather
some day. Jean-Luc told me once that in some cultures, people believe that
when the gods want to punish them, they answer their prayers. I still think
a lightning bolt in the backside would have been sufficient. To be honest,
the field isn't as open as it once was. The constraints of captaincy, I
suppose. I've met some nice ones, but none that made me want to rent the
Waldorf for the reception. I finally gave in and discussed this with our
ship's counselor, Andrew Donahoe. i told him that it just wasn't fair. He
tells me that life is never fair, and perhaps it's good for the most part
that it's not. How else would we know how to appreciate what we have? Well,
up yours, Andrew. Like I didn't already know that. I've had enough loss and
disappointment. I want something...someone to appreciate. Don't get me
wrong. I love my job. Hell, right now it's all I've got. The problem is that
it's just not enough. I need more. I'm so alone it hurts. I go to my
quarters to sleep and that's it. There are times when I just don't bother; I
sleep on the couch in my office. My quarters really are just a waste of
space. If there was someone to go home to, I'd use them, but what's the
point? I'm so very tired of fighting, especially this particular lost
cause. I just wish it would all go away. I don't think I can take this any
more.

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[Unzadi]

:::reaching for hankies:::

The angst bunny counts this as a sumptous little bit of clover. Doing very,
very well.

Anna
Friends don't let friends write bad fanfic!

Chamber of the Warrior Queen
http://members.aol.com/unzadi