Dusting the Cobwebs Off alt.spooky
Bushido Hacks
trainwreck full of spammers and tin-foil hatters.
Ladies and Gentlemen, Ghouls and Goblins, Mad Scientists and the
Hunchbacked Assistants: WELCOME BACK TO ALT.SPOOKY!
I am you ghoulishly handsome host the one the only Bushido Hacks here
to take back this group from auto-generated anti-Semetic hatemail and
Israli Chinaware (seriously?) and pumping out the embalming fluid in
exchange for fresh blood!
alt.spooky is a parody of the alt.gothic groups, inspired by Jhonen
Vasquez's mini-comic featuring a character known as Anne Gwish.
Well, now thanks to the mass-manufacture by the corporate gods at
places like Hot Topic, the entire poser-goth scene needs a real kick
in the nuts! Especially after hundreds of women have fallen under the
spell of movies like Twilight, TV shows like True Blood and The
Vampire Diaries, books by Stephannie Meyer, and the ilk followers who
are capitalizing on the wannabe goth scene.
It's time to end this madness!
No more shall crass consumerism equate to "gothiness".
No more shall men be forced to sit with their girl friends and watch
some bullshit about a men who in real life never exist.
No more shall the gothic subculture be a mainstream cash cow when the
icons that made the subculture as unique and charming as it is are
ignored except when it comes time to sell Halloween merchandise!
Henceforth, any association with all that is emo or Twihard (more like
TwiTARD) is not gothic.
Real goths never buy crap from the mall, especially Hot Topic. DIY
ethics are absolutely encouraged.
If own something that is black or is painted black, it could be
considered Gothic. It depends on what that item is. Black is the
official color of all things Gothic.
MySpace is for posers. Seriously. If you have a band that fits the
Gothic/Industrial genre and it's on a network owned by News
Corporation, visited by 14 year olds who post themselves dressed in
their footie striped socks, then you clearly have no business playing
music. MySpace may have been all the rage for about five seconds back
in 2003, but in 2010 it doesn't mean shit. VampireFreaks isn't much
better. As much as VF's intentions were to be a social network of
gothic/industrial fans, the 14 y.o. jailbait girls who listen to My
Chemical Romance (NOT goth!) have flocked there as well.
The old school goths (think Web 1.0 or Web 0.5beta) spent most of
their time on sites like GeoCites (dead), Xoom (dead), Tripod, and
Angelfire. Most of them could program a webpage or two. And where
better to get help making that website for your band than on the
USENET!
However, thanks to the folks at the RIAA and MPAA who generated their
reckless and poorly developed plan to implicate USENET users as
pedophiles more than pirates (which really didn't work because just
about every subject heading they uploaded was "11 year old girl" which
just about everyone knows better than to open or download that crap),
many ISPs have dropped their USENET service. Thanks to websites like
Google, most of you will never see an alt.binary group and find a
plethora of Gothic/Industrial music unless you subscribe to a service
like GigaNews or something similar.
As we head more toward a digital future, and as USENET popularity
continues to flicker not as brightly as it used to, alt.spooky strives
to continue to be the last outpost of all things Spooky, satirize the
Gothic subculture (in good faith) and to weed out the posers.
Welcome back! See you soon.
P.S.: On Google Groups, any conspiracy spam will hence force be marked
as spam. Go back to alt.art-bell!