"And a sign appeared unto them . . . "
Julian Macassey
Strayhorn <k...@duke.edu> wrote:
>One morning, a sign appeared as if from the heavens. Yea, verily,
>posted above the toilet was this note:
>
>"Please, guys, put the seat down when you are finished."
>
>Done up in Word, with a nice font and the word "please" in
>red ink. It even had a border. This lasted one day, before it
>was torn down, crumpled up, and tossed into the wastebasket.
>And not by me, either. I just ignored it.
>
>The torn-down sign was replaced by another that offered
>helpful instructions:
>
>"Gentlemen, please. Use the bathroom, put the lid down,
>and wash hands."
>
>This only lasted a couple hours before it was town town as
>well, with such force that the paint was peeled from the
>wall. Rumor was that The Boss himself found this to be
>on the offensive side and did the removal.
>
>As I've mentioned in Peeves Passim, I've never understood
>the whole seat lid controversy. But it does seem to crop up
>at regular intervals.
I don't understand it either. I just dismiss it as a
weird subset of American prudery. Possibly the delicate young
things are shocked to be reminded that men hold on to their cocks
when taking a leak. Yes, those nasty appendages used to do
degrading things to women.
What other explanation could there be?
Cue: Disapproving aunt.
--
Swedes have traditionally used alcholic drinks not so much as
dinner refinemnet, but to get drunk. - The Economist Sept 1 2001
Alan Gore
>It's bad enough that the two bathrooms are always occupied by
>people who are, apparently, looking over their tax returns
>or reading the latest Fallows article in Harper's. What happened
>next moved even my normally-complacent boss to profanity.
Install dim red lighting over the stalls.
>"Gentlemen, please. Use the bathroom, put the lid down,
>and wash hands."
>
>This only lasted a couple hours before it was town town as
>well, with such force that the paint was peeled from the
>wall. Rumor was that The Boss himself found this to be
>on the offensive side and did the removal.
Retaliate with a sign of your own:
"Ladies: You look just fine the way you are. Really. Now please let me
in so I won't have to use the window."
ag...@qwest.net | "Giving money and power to the government
Alan Gore | is like giving whiskey and car keys
Software For PC's, Inc. | to teenaged boys" - P. J. O'Rourke
http://www.alangore.com
Ayse Sercan
>In article <kes-A95E24.1...@colossus.oit.duke.edu>,
>Strayhorn <k...@duke.edu> wrote:
>>As I've mentioned in Peeves Passim, I've never understood
>>the whole seat lid controversy. But it does seem to crop up
>>at regular intervals.
>
> I don't understand it either. I just dismiss it as a
>weird subset of American prudery. Possibly the delicate young
>things are shocked to be reminded that men hold on to their cocks
>when taking a leak. Yes, those nasty appendages used to do
>degrading things to women.
>
> What other explanation could there be?
Oh, I dunno. Maybe that men tend to splash urine all over the place when
they pee standing up, and putting the seat down for yourself becomes
incredibly disgusting?
But in that case, the sign should be changed to say,
"Gentlemen, please wipe up your splattered urine before
leaving the bathroom"
A gender-equivalent sign to put up would be,
"Ladies, the trash can does not have cooties. Please
place towels IN the can, not next to it"
--
ay...@idiom.com
"I think that everyone should have a crazy friend, just to
keep one's own problems in perspective." --Pat Steppic
Tim Mefford
but I've received a mere 8 articles to this group since
yesterday. Not that I'm complaining, mind, what with the
quality versus quantity trade-off, but is this all that
were posted, or is my ISP as constipated as the response
time would indicate?
In article <kes-A95E24.1...@colossus.oit.duke.edu>,
Strayhorn <k...@duke.edu> wrote:
>But that's not what I came here to talk about.
Me, either. I have a question. What's with all of the shark
attacks on the East Coast lately? (That's not the question,
I'm here to post, either.)
>Peeve: Predictable storylines.
Indeed. Actually, I don't actually believe that there have been
an unusual number of shark attacks, given some statistical
variation, but I am willing to believe there was an article
in "Fearmonger Today" or whatever professional trade magazine
the "newsmedia" all subscribe to, suggesting that it would be
a great time to fill the headlines, given the big numbers the
Discovery channel has been drawing. Nonetheless, for the
purposes of this article, I'm willing to accept that the entire
East Coast is running red with the blood of tourists and
recent transplants who've had huge chunks of flesh ripped from
their bodies.
That said, here's the question. Ken, further investigation isn't
going to reveal a mysterious figure in a wet suit paddling away
from every recorded attack on a surf board, is it? That is to
say, you have an alibi?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
"And Ehud said, 'I have a message from God unto thee.' And he arose
out of his seat. And Ehud put forth his left hand, and took the dagger
from his right thigh, and thrust it into his belly. And the haft also
went in after the blade; and the fat closed upon the blade so he could
not draw the dagger out of his belly; and the dirt came out."
--JUDGES 3.20-22
_____Tim_Mefford___________...@aracnet.com______
M Holmes
: "Gentlemen, please. Use the bathroom, put the lid down,
: and wash hands."
Just put up a sign saying:
"Ladies. Please lower seat before using toilet. In difficulty, please
seek male instruction."
FoFP
Gerald Belton
wrote:
>In article <kes-A95E24.1...@colossus.oit.duke.edu>,
>Strayhorn <k...@duke.edu> wrote:
>
>>But that's not what I came here to talk about.
>
>Me, either. I have a question. What's with all of the shark
>attacks on the East Coast lately? (That's not the question,
>I'm here to post, either.)
>
>>Peeve: Predictable storylines.
>
>Indeed. Actually, I don't actually believe that there have been
>an unusual number of shark attacks, given some statistical
>variation, but I am willing to believe there was an article
>in "Fearmonger Today" or whatever professional trade magazine
>the "newsmedia" all subscribe to, suggesting that it would be
>a great time to fill the headlines, given the big numbers the
>Discovery channel has been drawing.
There were 51 shark attacks in the United States in 2000 (with 34 of
those in Florida, and 5 in North Carolina). So far this year, there
have been 39. So we're actually pacing a bit behind.
What I think happened is that the attack in Florida was so
interesting, what with the redneck uncle beating the shark and all,
that it stuck in everybody's mind. Then, when there was another attack
a couple of days later, everybody (including the reporters) said "Oh,
look, ANOTHER shark attack." So suddenly shark bites that would never
have been reported are making national news because the subject has
caught the imaginations of the public and the press.
But you'd think that SOMEBODY in the media would be pointing out that
there really haven't been more than the usual number of shark attacks.
Gerald
--
Newly redesigned website:
http://www.beltonphoto.com
Roy G. Ovrebo
[snip "And then they came for our toilets"]
>One morning, a sign appeared as if from the heavens. Yea, verily,
>posted above the toilet was this note:
>
>"Please, guys, put the seat down when you are finished."
[And then]
>"Gentlemen, please. Use the bathroom, put the lid down,
>and wash hands."
Put up your own sign:
"Ladies, you've got another bathroom all to yourself.
Please leave the lid up."
--
Roy G. Ovrebo
"And don't clog the toilet with your bloody tampons."
rich
>But you'd think that SOMEBODY in the media would be pointing out that
>there really haven't been more than the usual number of shark attacks.
They did on a local NY nooze channel over Labor Day. 2000 was actually higher
in total shark attacks. I can't recall the numbers but it was 1.5 times the
2001 number.
--
The software box said 'Requires Windows 95 or better'. So I installed Linux.
Registered Linux user 220048 on http://counter.li.org
Elaine Richards
Gerald Belton <ger...@beltonphoto.com> wrote:
>
>But you'd think that SOMEBODY in the media would be pointing out that
>there really haven't been more than the usual number of shark attacks.
>
Actually, they have. But they report them anyway. The media are
pack animals. If you don't get the scoop, you can lose ratings,face,
your job and so on.
ER
Charlie Stross
as <jul...@bokassa.tele.com> declared:
> I don't understand it either. I just dismiss it as a
>weird subset of American prudery. Possibly the delicate young
>things are shocked to be reminded that men hold on to their cocks
>when taking a leak. Yes, those nasty appendages used to do
>degrading things to women.
>
> What other explanation could there be?
Well, _I_ always leave the seat down at home.
But that's because I've got a good reason.
See, Sekhmet the cat has taken to drinking from the bathroom sink. If
it isn't left dripping she yowls disconsolately; refuses to use a water
bowl, makes a feline pain in the arse of herself, and so on. So the
bathroom sink gets left dripping for benefit of the cat.
The cat's route into the bathroom sink is: in through bathroom door. Jump
onto convenient raised surface #1. Walk across raised surface #1, onto
raised surface #2, then climb into sink.
Raised surface #2 is between raised surface #1 and the sink. It's the bidet
(which doubles as the magazine and book rack).
Raised surface #1 is the toilet.
Believe me, when you have a tired and thirsty cat who is liable to hop
onto the toilet seat in the middle of the night en route to the 24 hour
bar, you learn to leave the toilet lid down.
-- Charlie "anyone know where I can find a cat trainer?" Stross
Terry Austin
"Charlie Stross" <cha...@nospam.antipope.org> wrote in message
news:slrn9pcvlt....@antipope.nsl.co.uk...
> Believe me, when you have a tired and thirsty cat who is liable to hop
> onto the toilet seat in the middle of the night en route to the 24 hour
> bar, you learn to leave the toilet lid down.
Sound to me like you don't have a cat, so much as the cat has you.
Well trained.
And there's no cat in the world worth the expensive of leaving
a faucet leaking all the time.
Terry Austin
Jeff Justin
Tim Mefford to say:
=== INRE: ADFP being lightly trod the past couple of days ===
Traffic has been light at this location as well, although not
that light. I think I've seen perhaps 20 - 25 messages in the
past two days.
=== INRE: sharks threat or population control ===
I think the over-reportage of the shark attacks is at least in
part a function of a slow news period. Media pundits seem to be
tiring of kicking Condit around, and Bushey hasn't done much of
note lately (draw your own conclusions, please) and nobody has
done a whole lot on the international scene.
Gotta sell that copy with something.
Cheers,
Jeff "news? I gotcher news right here" Justin
--
All correspondence answered promptly
All flames cheerfully ignored
Visit www.jeffjustintime.com
-----= Posted via Newsfeeds.Com, Uncensored Usenet News =-----
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William Hamblen
>Oh, I dunno. Maybe that men tend to splash urine all over the place when
>they pee standing up, and putting the seat down for yourself becomes
>incredibly disgusting?
It's been my experience that the ladies splatter more than the
gentlemen and that when some bright lass decides to flush a tampon all
hell breaks loose.
basil...@zotnet.net
Speaking as a facilities management professional at a major
university, you are correct. The women's rest rooms are: 1. more
expensive to begin with. 2. More expensive to stock with toiletries.
3. More likely to be plugged up, backed up and generally messed up
than the mens rooms. (Locker rooms are about equal but that is only a
portion of the rooms.) In a building with a large concentration of
women (80% of the employees at the campus are women) such as the
Administration building the toilet back up problem is really a hoot.
If the sweet young things would just figure out that the waste
receptacle provided specifically for the "sanitary napkins" is there
for a reason and that you don't flush them because they plug the place
up, we would have a lot fewer problems. Absorbent pads are designed
not to break down in moist environments like toilet bowls and sewer
lines that's why the plug things up. So simple. So basic. So
impossible to make them understand.
basil...@zotnet.net
Damn straight. Especially now that someone markets a little
circulating system for the kitty water bowl....
Elaine Richards
Why, you busy rushing in to lick the seat?
Peeve: Hoary old gender battle postings.
Peeve: Toilet postings.
Peeve: Shark bite postings.
Peeve: Why, oh, why do we never hear about a shark biting someone
on the toilet?
ER
J.W.T. Meakin
Vanilla Gorilla (Monkey Boy)
trou in alt.peeves and left the following steaming pile:
>Peeve: Why, oh, why do we never hear about a shark biting someone
>on the toilet?
>
>ER
At least THAT would be newsworthy.
--
V.G.
"I didn't dodge the question, I just simply did not answer it."
Vegas Luna "spells it out" for us.
Patrick Gosling
>helpful instructions:
>
>and wash hands."
I've never seen what the build quality is like in the US, but here, most
toilet seat/lids are removable with about ten seconds twiddling of the
bolts underneath. Clearly, placing the lid (and seat) on the floor would
be taking the instructions over-seriously, but ...
I do agree that washing your hands afterwards would be desirable - the
bolts in question do tend to accumulate a bit of gunk of questionable
(or perhaps not so questionable) origin.
-patrick.
Charlie Stross
>>And there's no cat in the world worth the expensive of leaving
>>a faucet leaking all the time.
>
>Damn straight. Especially now that someone markets a little
>circulating system for the kitty water bowl....
Why would leaving a tap dripping be expensive? Are you trying to tell
me that water doesn't fall from the sky? Do you have to pay for water
by the gallon where you live, like third-world peasants?
If so, you need to move somewhere else. Living in a desert is Stoopid.
-- Charlie (native of one of the wettest countries on the planet) Stross
Julian Macassey
<basil...@zotnet.net> wrote:
Snippo
>If the sweet young things would just figure out that the waste
>receptacle provided specifically for the "sanitary napkins" is there
>for a reason and that you don't flush them because they plug the place
>up, we would have a lot fewer problems. Absorbent pads are designed
>not to break down in moist environments like toilet bowls and sewer
>lines that's why the plug things up. So simple. So basic. So
>impossible to make them understand.
So, give them a sign of their own. Something along the
lines of" "Don't put anything in the bowl that you haven't
personally eaten or drunk."
Le Grande Raoul
> In article <brodptgatu62k7i0e...@4ax.com>,
> William Hamblen <william...@nashville.com> wrote:
> >On 5 Sep 2001 08:54:24 -0700, ay...@idiom.com (Ayse Sercan) wrote:
> >
> >>Oh, I dunno. Maybe that men tend to splash urine all over the place when
> >>they pee standing up, and putting the seat down for yourself becomes
> >>incredibly disgusting?
> >
> >It's been my experience that the ladies splatter more than the
> >gentlemen and that when some bright lass decides to flush a tampon all
> >hell breaks loose.
> >
>
>
> Why, you busy rushing in to lick the seat?
>
> Peeve: Hoary old gender battle postings.
I once heard it postulated that the 'bathroom thing' - women's a palace,
men's spartan- was a 'power thing. Women have no power so demand a cushy
loo, men have power and are out exsesizing it and don't care aout the
style of the head. Sounds like at least a Master's thesis in that..
>
> Peeve: Toilet postings.
>
> Peeve: Shark bite postings.
>
> Peeve: Why, oh, why do we never hear about a shark biting someone
> on the toilet?
What about the stories of rats swimming up the pipe and biting the sitter
on the butt? UL or truth?
JB
--
Jeffrey E. Benedict *ra...@olympus.net *
-----------------------------------------
"You are a thick person; a simple plank in a world of veneer."- E Varden in ADFP
rich
>Stoned koala bears drooled eucalyptus spittle in awe
>as <basil...@zotnet.net> declared:
>
>>>And there's no cat in the world worth the expensive of leaving
>>>a faucet leaking all the time.
>>
>>Damn straight. Especially now that someone markets a little
>>circulating system for the kitty water bowl....
>
>Why would leaving a tap dripping be expensive? Are you trying to tell
>me that water doesn't fall from the sky? Do you have to pay for water
>by the gallon where you live, like third-world peasants?
>
>If so, you need to move somewhere else. Living in a desert is Stoopid.
There are many municipalities that have what's euphemistically called "city
water" where there's a central water supply that is piped into people's houses
and, yes, metered.
I live on the outskirts of one. I have a well, so I don't need to pay someone
for my water. However, I would still shut all my taps just because I don't
want my tap running all the time. If the cat is thirsty enough, [s]he'll
drink from the damn water bowl and thank me for providing water.
Gerald Belton
>>And there's no cat in the world worth the expensive of leaving
>>a faucet leaking all the time.
>>
>>Terry Austin
>
>Damn straight. Especially now that someone markets a little
>circulating system for the kitty water bowl....
Yeah, like anyone in his right mind would pay $48 for a cat's
water-dish.
For $6.99 at petsmart you can buy a gizmo that attaches to the faucet.
It's a tongue-operated valve, so the water doesn't drip all the time
but an animal can press it and get water. It's marketed as being for
dogs, but I bet a cat could be taught to use it.
Alan Gore
>ObPeeve: I don't have time to go playing games with google,
>but I've received a mere 8 articles to this group since
>yesterday. Not that I'm complaining, mind, what with the
>quality versus quantity trade-off, but is this all that
>were posted, or is my ISP as constipated as the response
>time would indicate?
Yes, traffic has truly dwindled. I think everyone saw the relatives
over Labor Day, as we did, to avoid the crowds at Thanksgiving.
Terry Austin
> Stoned koala bears drooled eucalyptus spittle in awe
> as <basil...@zotnet.net> declared:
>
> >>And there's no cat in the world worth the expensive of leaving
> >>a faucet leaking all the time.
> >
> >Damn straight. Especially now that someone markets a little
> >circulating system for the kitty water bowl....
>
> Why would leaving a tap dripping be expensive? Are you trying to tell
> me that water doesn't fall from the sky? Do you have to pay for water
> by the gallon where you live, like third-world peasants?
Water, in fact, is free from what I'm told. But you do have to pay
for delivery.
Do you waste precious natural resources, like potable water,
with indifference, like third-world peasants? Isn't it vogue in
the YooKay to diss the US for being wasteful and polluting?
>
> If so, you need to move somewhere else. Living in a desert is Stoopid.
Wasting potable water is far more so.
Terry Austin
A Device Which Is Exploding
>We'll never know if it was joy, fear or insanity that caused
>Tim Mefford to say:
>
>=== INRE: ADFP being lightly trod the past couple of days ===
>
>Traffic has been light at this location as well, although not
>that light. I think I've seen perhaps 20 - 25 messages in the
>past two days.
>
>=== INRE: sharks threat or population control ===
>
>I think the over-reportage of the shark attacks is at least in
>part a function of a slow news period. Media pundits seem to be
>tiring of kicking Condit around, and Bushey hasn't done much of
>note lately (draw your own conclusions, please)
That's kinda interesting, actually, as Bush has said two of the
dumber things I've heard any politician say (paraphrasing here)
1) The complete disappearance of the budget surplus was an
incredibly positive development because it meant Congress
wouldn't spend any more money. That's like cheering because
I maxed out my credit cards, got ahead of the payments for
a couple of months, then got my pay lowered to the point
where I could just barely keep up. In case anyone hasn't
noticed, the Excited Snakes are still in hock to the tune
of *three* *trillion* dollars. Where does The Chimp think
he'll find the cash for his Star Wars boondoggle?
2) Starting up nuke testing would be peachy-keen, even though
all the nuclear powers have voluntarily agreed to stop testing,
because after all we're gonna have SDI protect us for ever & ever
when the rest of world builds better physics packages.
Heck, it'd even be OK if the Chinese built more rockets & stuff.
For any President to claim it's fine for a potential opponent
to build up its forces is skating just this side of treason,
and I'm kinda surprised the Rabid Right hasn't picked up on this.
Things are different when it's one of your own not just advocating
trade with the Reds, but bending over with a butter-smeared bottom, hm?
We'll just kinda glide over the evidence of massive fakery during
recent and not-so-recent SDI tests (including the X-ray laser hoax),
the lack of any convincing discrimination between targets and decoys,
and the appalling failure rate of even these rigged tests.
Christ, the Chinese must be laughing their asses off right now.
They get approval to increase their nuke deployments knowing they'll
be facing a leaky shield.
Peeve: Where is the reasoned analysis? In the allegedly Free Press?
Don't make me laugh. These chickenwits are so scared of
congressional playground bullies denouncing them as "Liiiiiiibruls!"
that they're running scared of any substantive issues, and thus
we get Gary Condit on the hour every hour. Enjoy.
Francois.
Jeff Justin
=== INRE: Bush errata deleted ===
> Peeve: Where is the reasoned analysis? In the allegedly
> Free Press?
> Don't make me laugh. These chickenwits are so scared
> of congressional playground bullies denouncing them
> as "Liiiiiiibruls!" that they're running scared of
> any substantive issues, and thus we get Gary Condit
> on the hour every hour. Enjoy.
While I don't disagree that the fifth estate has been lax in
reporting on BushBoners(TM), I don't think it's out of fear of
being labeled liberal. I think it's the lack of sensationalism
coming out of the White House. Good or bad, Bush is above all
boring. He doesn't seek out the spotlight like his predecessor.
He doesn't provide the constant stream of sensational stories
that were the hallmark of the previous administration. By
nearly the same time in WJC's first term we'd been treated to
Gennifer Flowers, Paula Jones, and Vince Foster. Clinton was
swept into office amidst controversy and fed on controversy up
until his last days as president. Bush, on the other hand,
seems embarrassed by the attention that controversy brings.
Bush, no matter what he says, has done so little that it's hard
for the press to seize on anything. Oh sure, if you want to
delve into his public utterances, you can certainly find
stupidity, poorly thought out statements and controversy, but
it's not the sort of stupidity, poorly thought out statements
and controversy that sells ad copy. Where's the sex? Where are
the baldface lies? Where is the blind political ambition?
Where are the scandals?
I think the press don't like the fellow, not so much because of
his positions, but because he doesn't feed them anything but the
smallest crumbs. They've been relegated to chasing other
stories to get some of that good old sensationalism that sells
ad space.
Now if Bush, Ashcroft and Cheney were to get photographed in a
compromising three-way...
Cheers,
Jeff Justin
Roberta Hatch
>basil...@zotnet.net wrote:
>>Terry Austin
>>>And there's no cat in the world worth the expensive of leaving
>>>a faucet leaking all the time.
>>Damn straight. Especially now that someone markets a little
>>circulating system for the kitty water bowl....
>Yeah, like anyone in his right mind would pay $48 for a cat's
>water-dish.
>For $6.99 at petsmart you can buy a gizmo that attaches to the faucet.
>It's a tongue-operated valve, so the water doesn't drip all the time
>but an animal can press it and get water. It's marketed as being for
>dogs, but I bet a cat could be taught to use it.
Yeah, like anyone in their right mind would put one of those
gizmos on their bathroom faucet. 'Sides, I've never seen one that
doesn't drip.
I figure that leaving the bathroom sink dirpping makes more
sense than cleaning and re-filling a water dish, or buying fancy
gadgets.
Bobbi
---
Roberta Hatch http://www.tamucc.edu/~whatley/pols2306/hatch.htm '65 Panhead
Dykes on Bikes, San Francisco, CA (This space for rent)
Elaine Richards
Strayhorn <k...@duke.edu> wrote:
>In article <UHOXO=9GaqVBLKZ4V=GhtxT...@4ax.com>,
> Politeness Restored <c...@dukecomm.duke.edu> wrote:
>> >Strayhorn wrote:
>> >[...] I'm willing to accept that the entire
>> >East Coast is running red with the blood of tourists and
>> >recent transplants who've had huge chunks of flesh ripped from
>> >their bodies.
>
>Not to mention the tourists killed on the way to/from the
>coast, the tourists ripped off by redneck gas station owners,
>the tourists stuck inside during one of the wettest summers
Then, there is the danger from bank executives in Charlotte NC, who
instruct their incompetent data entry clerks to mispost their
customers deposits by a zero in order to wipe out their life savings,
who instruct their customer service people to give fake names and
bad information ("We sent the overpayment to the Federal Reserve
and you will have to wait 90 days for it. All of our mispostings
go to the Federal Reserve:), and then send the manager handling said
misposting off on an extended leave of absense ("You can leave her a
message and maybe she will think about replying when she gets back.")
SpotIt.
ObAnswer: B of A, NA.
ER
Bod
writes
>Oh, I dunno. Maybe that men tend to splash urine all over the place when
>they pee standing up, and putting the seat down for yourself becomes
>incredibly disgusting?
Good point. From now on I won't bother lifting the seat before I pee, to
save you ladies the horror of having to lower it yourselves.
Lifting the seat is a fucking *courtesy*. Be grateful.
--
Bod <b...@erstwhile.demon.co.uk>
"[Playing] Civilization takes too long. Just resolve to get nukes,
nuke the French, then call it a day and go to the pub." -- M Holmes
Terry Austin
"Elaine Richards" <e...@idiom.com> wrote in message
news:9n8i0i$m26$1...@idiom.com...
"My lawyer's not. He'll be in touch."
Mean it.
Terry Austin
Terry Austin
"Roberta Hatch" <bha...@rahul.net> wrote in message
news:9n8fj8$29n$1...@samba.rahul.net...
> Gerald Belton <ger...@beltonphoto.com> wrote:
> >basil...@zotnet.net wrote:
> >>Terry Austin
>
> >>>And there's no cat in the world worth the expensive of leaving
> >>>a faucet leaking all the time.
>
> >>Damn straight. Especially now that someone markets a little
> >>circulating system for the kitty water bowl....
>
> >Yeah, like anyone in his right mind would pay $48 for a cat's
> >water-dish.
>
> >For $6.99 at petsmart you can buy a gizmo that attaches to the faucet.
> >It's a tongue-operated valve, so the water doesn't drip all the time
> >but an animal can press it and get water. It's marketed as being for
> >dogs, but I bet a cat could be taught to use it.
>
> Yeah, like anyone in their right mind would put one of those
> gizmos on their bathroom faucet. 'Sides, I've never seen one that
> doesn't drip.
>
> I figure that leaving the bathroom sink dirpping makes more
> sense than cleaning and re-filling a water dish, or buying fancy
> gadgets.
>
now. But they like it better when they have well trained
pets to pay the bills.
It is, after all, only a cat.
Terry Austin
Bod
writes
>Actually, they have. But they report them anyway. The media are
>pack animals. If you don't get the scoop, you can lose ratings,face,
>your job and so on.
Precisely. "Children have exactly the same chance of being killed by a
stranger that they did ten years, twenty years and thirty years ago" is
not a news story. "Little Jimmy viciously blugeoned by brute; what must
we do to make our children safe?" is.
--
Bod <b...@erstwhile.demon.co.uk>
"There is no such thing as adventure. There's no such thing as
romance. There's only trouble and desire" -- Hal Hartley, 'Simple Men'
Lenore Levine
>I don't have a question; I do have a peeve: Incompetent control
>freaks...
Reminds me: Yesterday, I called my doctor to leave a message for him.
However, the receptionist wouldn't connect me with his voice mail.
She said there was a rule against patients having access to the doc's
voice mail, and that she would have to write down my message and give
it to him instead. Fine, except she's fresh-off-the-boat Chinese and
barely knows English.
I'm sure this little almond blossom didn't make the rule up. However,
I'm having a hard time figuring out what its purpose is. Why is it
more convenient for the doctor to get a garbled message from her than
hear my dulcet Yankee tones?
Lenore Levine
--
"Ahhh....the best things in life: masturbation, pornography, caffeine,
nicotine, and gluttony." -- Aemilia
Ayse Sercan
>
>On 5 Sep 2001 08:54:24 -0700, ay...@idiom.com (Ayse Sercan) wrote:
>
>>Oh, I dunno. Maybe that men tend to splash urine all over the place when
>>they pee standing up, and putting the seat down for yourself becomes
>>incredibly disgusting?
>
>It's been my experience that the ladies splatter more than the
>gentlemen
Ladies splatter more than gentlemen when they use public toilets, and
gentlemen splatter more than ladies when they use private toilets. It's
the germ thing that makes the ladies not want to sit on the seat.
Personally, I'm happy to live in California, where toilet seat covers are
provided in most public rest rooms.
But the question was not "Who splatters more in the loo?" but "why all the
fuss about the toilet seat position?" Sorry you didn't like the
explanation, but that doesn't change it.
>and that when some bright lass decides to flush a tampon all
>hell breaks loose.
I've been flushing tampons since I started using them, and there have been
no plumbing explosions that could be directly attributed to that. It's
the applicators that cause the havoc. And I just don't understand the
ladies who flush maxi pads or daipers.
--
ay...@idiom.com
"Anyone who willingly engages in a battle of wits
with a fish is at best evenly matched." -- Pete Young
Charlie Stross
>For $6.99 at petsmart you can buy a gizmo that attaches to the faucet.
>It's a tongue-operated valve, so the water doesn't drip all the time
>but an animal can press it and get water. It's marketed as being for
>dogs, but I bet a cat could be taught to use it.
Now, _that_ is a good idea. If I see a branch of Petsmart on this
continent I'll go see if they've got one.
-- Charlie
M Holmes
: Ladies splatter more than gentlemen when they use public toilets, and
: gentlemen splatter more than ladies when they use private toilets. It's
: the germ thing that makes the ladies not want to sit on the seat.
Are there actually any germs, commonly found on toilet seats, which
invade the things and buttocks?
: Personally, I'm happy to live in California, where toilet seat covers are
: provided in most public rest rooms.
Surely some simple work with loo roll would suffice to provide the same
level of protection?
FoFP
Feorag NicBhride
<cha...@nospam.antipope.org> wrote:
>Now, _that_ is a good idea. If I see a branch of Petsmart on this
>continent I'll go see if they've got one.
There's one by PC World up near the airport, and another in that trading
estate next to IKEA.
bb
Feorag
(what do you feed pet cthulhus?)
--
Remove clothes to reply ******
Pete Young
> Do you have to pay for water
>by the gallon where you live, like third-world peasants?
You'll be telling me next that there are no water meters in Scotland.
>-- Charlie (native of one of the wettest countries on the planet) Stross
Native? You need to live there for at least another 40 years before
you can claim honourable 'native' status. Resident, maybe.
Pete
--
____________________________________________________________________
Pete Young pe...@antipope.org
"Just another crouton, floating on the bouillabaisse of life"
Feorag NicBhride
<pe...@antipope.org> wrote:
>You'll be telling me next that there are no water meters in Scotland.
The water hasn't been privatised, so the only water meters are in
businesses like the brewery. The rest of us have an amount in our Council
Tax to cover water and sewerage.
bb
Feorag
Alex A. Teef
> M Holmes <fo...@holyrood.ed.ac.uk> wrote:
> > Are there actually any germs, commonly found on toilet seats, which
> > invade the things and buttocks?
>
Cite? I would have thought that most people acquire STDs from fucking,
hence the name.
ObPeeve: Toilet in the pub last night looked like something out of
Trainspotting. Dunno about STDs but you could certainly catch ebola
from that thing.
-- A.
The Ranger
>> : Ladies splatter more than gentlemen when they use public
>> : toilets, and gentlemen splatter more than ladies when they
>> : use private toilets. It's the germ thing that makes the ladies
>> : not want to sit on the seat.
>> :
>> Are there actually any germs, commonly found on toilet seats,
>> which invade the things and buttocks?
>>
>
The Ranger
M Holmes
: Charlie Stross <cha...@nospam.antipope.org> writes:
:> Do you have to pay for water
:>by the gallon where you live, like third-world peasants?
: You'll be telling me next that there are no water meters in Scotland.
:>-- Charlie (native of one of the wettest countries on the planet) Stross
: Native? You need to live there for at least another 40 years before
: you can claim honourable 'native' status. Resident, maybe.
Depends on where in Scotland. In the Borders you're not native if anyone
alive can remember any of your ancestors being "newcomers".
: Pete
Mike "Ah kent ee's fither" Holmes
Eric O'Connor
Lenore wrote:
>She said there was a rule against patients having access to the doc's
>voice mail, and that she would have to write down my message and give
>it to him instead. Fine, except she's fresh-off-the-boat Chinese and
>barely knows English.
From what little face to face time I've had with you Lenore, I
understand your confusion with this.
You don't endlessly babble on about anything and everything like some
women^Wfolks do.
I've taken messages from patients that stretched the needed 8 words of
"My prescription is old can I come in?" to a lengthy story about what
they're up to and where they'll be going on vacation next month.
Let's face it, most people just aren't that interesting to listen to.
People use terse phrases when dealing with those who haven't a firm
grasp of their language. She probably could take three times as many
calls as a native English speaker.
?Peeve: Had a regular Joe ask me what Fundynips was, I wasn't quite
sure how to respond. How do you dampen a heathen/racist domain?
Should I say I'm in the communion wafer business?
--
Eric O'Connor <ad...@fundynips.com>
I have heard from many people that have used marijuana said it
inhances yur consentration towards something your doing.
- Northernlights
M Holmes
: Stoned koala bears drooled eucalyptus spittle in awe
: as <ger...@beltonphoto.com> declared:
: -- Charlie
A Big Part of The Reason Petsmart.com didn't catch on?
M Holmes
: ObPeeve: Toilet in the pub last night looked like something out of
: Trainspotting. Dunno about STDs but you could certainly catch ebola
: from that thing.
I once got stranded at a Hawkwind gig in Cambridge and accepted a lift
to Liverpool from a guy I'd met at gigs for the last couple of decades.
His toilet looked like that, as did his sinks, his bath and pretty much
everything else in the flat except for an extremely impressive Hawkwind
Kollection which was immaculately stored in multiple layers of polythene
protectors. i suspect that the only time he washed his hands was prior
to handling this.
Clearly it's similar to the Bikers'n'Bikes thing.
FoFP
--
"The simple fact is that U.S. consumers have spent money like drunken
sailors. That is, if the drunken sailors had sold the U.S.S. Nimitz and
spent the proceeds in addition to their paychecks."
-- Frederick.J.Sheehan Juniour. 7/9/2001
Alan Gore
>1) The complete disappearance of the budget surplus was an
> incredibly positive development because it meant Congress
> wouldn't spend any more money. That's like cheering because
> I maxed out my credit cards, got ahead of the payments for
> a couple of months, then got my pay lowered to the point
> where I could just barely keep up. In case anyone hasn't
> noticed, the Excited Snakes are still in hock to the tune
> of *three* *trillion* dollars....
We always get less of a surplus (or more of a deficit) during an
economic recession. Perk up the economy again, and the "disappearing
surplus" will just as magically reappear.
If we want to keep on paying down public debt, the federosaurus should
do as every corporation does in the same circumstances - cut its
spending and sell assets. List those millions of acres of gummint tree
farms and mining claims on eBay, and we can pay off the debt a lot
faster.
> Where does The Chimp think he'll find the cash for his Star Wars boondoggle?
We go through the same yadda-yadda once every generation, when new
military technology evolves to replace the old. Billy Mitchell once
fought hard to get the Pentagon to buy in on the use of aircraft for
bombing and combat. A generation later, the missile men were
struggling to get their crazy notion of unmanned rocket bombs
accepted. They had to do this over the dead body of the most respected
military scientist of the time, Vannevar Bush, who claimed "proof"
that ICBM's would never work.
The way we find the cash for the new stuff is to replace spending on
the old stuff. Why, years after the end of the Cold War, are we still
stabling troops in Europe and Japan?
Alan Gore
>I'm sure this little almond blossom didn't make the rule up. However,
>I'm having a hard time figuring out what its purpose is. Why is it
>more convenient for the doctor to get a garbled message from her than
>hear my dulcet Yankee tones?
When you're a monopoly, you don't have to be nice to people.
Alan Gore
>Are there actually any germs, commonly found on toilet seats, which
>invade the things and buttocks?
Years ago, I actually did get a staph infection on my clinton at the
exact spot where it comes in contact with public faclities. It meant
antibiotics, an ugly lump and several weeks of celibacy.
Ayse Sercan
>Ayse Sercan <ay...@idiom.com> wrote:
>
>: Ladies splatter more than gentlemen when they use public toilets, and
>: gentlemen splatter more than ladies when they use private toilets. It's
>: the germ thing that makes the ladies not want to sit on the seat.
>
>Are there actually any germs, commonly found on toilet seats, which
>invade the things and buttocks?
Well, yes, but that's not what makes ladies squeamish. It's not that they
might pick up the common cold, or even hepatitis. What makes ladies
squeamish is that "pee is GROSS!"
--
ay...@idiom.com
"Give me a sledgehammer and I can uninstall *anything*."
--Deirdre Sholto-Douglas
Douglas Henke
> "Ass gaskets" or "Texas T-shirts"
Graffito seen on dispenser in public toilet at IAH: "Free Cowboy Hats!"
--
Mail to henke at kharendaen dot dyndns dot org.
Julian Macassey
Strayhorn <k...@duke.edu> wrote:
>In article <9na7b5$hdm$1...@scotsman.ed.ac.uk>,
> M Holmes <fo...@holyrood.ed.ac.uk> wrote:
>> Are there actually any germs, commonly found on toilet seats, which
>> invade the things and buttocks?
>
>
STDs? Oh, you mean Venereal disease (VD), known to
sailors as "ladies fever".
This has got to be a troll. Surely former Marine
Strayhorn has seen the pox and clap training movies.
Part of the American prudishness is the reluctance to
plonk their buttocks on a shiny piece of plastic. They fear they
might catch some terminal disease. Yet, they are happy to suck
the cock of someone they hardly know, or puff on a joint passed
to them from someone they have never seen before.
Get real. You are not going to die, or get some weird
infection because you sat on a crapper seat at work.
You are most likely to get something by fucking that
delicate blonde Catholic kindergarten teacher. She doesn't get
wiped down by the cleaning crew every evening. But she may need
to be.
--
Swedes have traditionally used alcholic drinks not so much as
dinner refinemnet, but to get drunk. - The Economist Sept 1 2001
Gerald Belton
>Ladies splatter more than gentlemen when they use public toilets, and
>gentlemen splatter more than ladies when they use private toilets. It's
>the germ thing that makes the ladies not want to sit on the seat.
What "germ thing?" What kind of strange microbes do you think are
growing on people's butt cheeks that aren't also on their hands? You
probably get more germs picking up their telephone than you do sitting
on their toilet -- unless they crap on the seat or something.
Gerald
--
Newly redesigned website:
http://www.beltonphoto.com
Julian Macassey
Alan Gore <ag...@qwest.net> wrote:
>M Holmes <fo...@holyrood.ed.ac.uk> wrote:
>
>>Are there actually any germs, commonly found on toilet seats, which
>>invade the things and buttocks?
>
>Years ago, I actually did get a staph infection on my clinton at the
>exact spot where it comes in contact with public faclities.
All I can say is "I'm impressed!" You must have one hell
of a dingus if it can get in contact with the public facilities.
Terry Austin
"Feorag NicBhride" <feo...@antipope.nsl.co.uk> wrote in message
news:slrn9phdnu...@antipope.nsl.co.uk...
> On 7 Sep 2001 11:19:23 GMT, Pete Young
> <pe...@antipope.org> wrote:
>
> >You'll be telling me next that there are no water meters in Scotland.
>
> The water hasn't been privatised, so the only water meters are in
> businesses like the brewery. The rest of us have an amount in our Council
> Tax to cover water and sewerage.
>
what everyone uses, not what you use, thus eliminating all incentive
to conserve, thus encouraging the amount you pay to be higher.
Yeah, that's better.
Terry Austin
M Holmes
: f...@idiom.com (A Device Which Is Exploding) wrote:
:>1) The complete disappearance of the budget surplus was an
:> incredibly positive development because it meant Congress
:> wouldn't spend any more money. That's like cheering because
:> I maxed out my credit cards, got ahead of the payments for
:> a couple of months, then got my pay lowered to the point
:> where I could just barely keep up. In case anyone hasn't
:> noticed, the Excited Snakes are still in hock to the tune
:> of *three* *trillion* dollars....
: We always get less of a surplus (or more of a deficit) during an
: economic recession.
Conversely, as the Austrians will tell you, it's extremely common for
governments to find they're in budget surplus during a credit bubble.
Usually they find that when the bust starts, the surplus disappears
until the next bubble. Given the length of the K-wave, you guys should
expect to be back in surplus sometime between 2056 and 2076.
: Perk up the economy again, and the "disappearing
: surplus" will just as magically reappear.
Even when the economy eventually recovers from this credit excess, it
won't be running at the rate it was during the bubble, and financial
trading, which provided a lot of capital gains tax receipts, will not
reach those volumes or rises again for quite some time. During what
Kindleberger calls the "period of revulsion" share trading volumes will
be at historic lows.
: If we want to keep on paying down public debt, the federosaurus should
: do as every corporation does in the same circumstances - cut its
: spending and sell assets.
A good plan under almost any circumstances.
: List those millions of acres of gummint tree
: farms and mining claims on eBay, and we can pay off the debt a lot
: faster.
Government debt is not the problem. Private debt is the problem. Selling
government assets into the private sector en masse right now would be a
risky proposition, much as it pains this libertarian to say so.
Andy Walton
:I do believe that most people aquire STDs from toilet seats.
I believe that was the conclusion reached by a State University of West
Georgia study, but the methodology -- asking patients' wives where they
said they caught it -- was widely criticized.
--
"Make definite assertions. Avoid tame, colorless,
hesitating, non-committal language."
-- William Strunk Jr., "Elements of Style"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Andy Walton * att...@mindspring.com * http://atticus.home.mindspring.com/
M Holmes
: On 6 Sep 2001 19:31:54 -0700, ay...@idiom.com (Ayse Sercan) wrote:
:>Ladies splatter more than gentlemen when they use public toilets, and
:>gentlemen splatter more than ladies when they use private toilets. It's
:>the germ thing that makes the ladies not want to sit on the seat.
: What "germ thing?" What kind of strange microbes do you think are
: growing on people's butt cheeks that aren't also on their hands? You
: probably get more germs picking up their telephone than you do sitting
: on their toilet -- unless they crap on the seat or something.
Which is what actually happens on unisex toilets because the women won't
take a goddamn seat to do the business like normal people but instead
try some weird squatting thing with both feet on the toilet seat.
FoFP
Elaine Richards
Eric O'Connor <big...@texticle.com> wrote:
>
>?Peeve: Had a regular Joe ask me what Fundynips was, I wasn't quite
>sure how to respond. How do you dampen a heathen/racist domain?
>
>Should I say I'm in the communion wafer business?
Tell them you woke up after a night of debauchery and found the
word mysteriously tattooed on your ass.
You were in the Deep South at the time and were partying with a
group of KKKeebler Elves.
ER
Ayse Sercan
>On 6 Sep 2001 19:31:54 -0700, ay...@idiom.com (Ayse Sercan) wrote:
>
>>Ladies splatter more than gentlemen when they use public toilets, and
>>gentlemen splatter more than ladies when they use private toilets. It's
>>the germ thing that makes the ladies not want to sit on the seat.
>
>What "germ thing?" What kind of strange microbes do you think are
>growing on people's butt cheeks that aren't also on their hands?
We're not talking about *me*, first of all. We're talking about those
mysterious "ladies" who squat and spray.
And don't ask me where the germ thing came from. Just explain to me why
shampoo has to be antibacterial.
Nosy
< Now, _that_ is a good idea. If I see a branch of Petsmart on this
< continent I'll go see if they've got one.
Huh?
Which continent would that be, where Scotland is
now located?
Eric O'Connor
Elaine wrote:
>Tell them you woke up after a night of debauchery and found the
>word mysteriously tattooed on your ass.
My ex had serious issues with people who'd modify their body with a
tattoo or whatever.
I bought four handguns this year out of spite, so what's a little ink?
I'll check the cupboard and see how my tequila supply is.
In the meantime, I put this up www.earnestchild.com after snapping a
photo on Van Ness last Wednesday.
--
Eric O'Connor <ad...@fundynips.com>
Wanted: blowjob and sandwich.
Will accept tossed salad.
Uncle Gargoyle
> Ladies splatter more than gentlemen when they use public toilets, and
> gentlemen splatter more than ladies when they use private toilets. It's
> the germ thing that makes the ladies not want to sit on the seat.
The sad aspect to all this is that the problem is a real one:
elimination, whether urine or feces, is a messy process and
standard toilets are barely up to the task of accomodating the
eliminator's/eliminatrix's needs. Mankind has been sitting on a
hole in a board for a long time; it's a stone-age solution to the
problem.
And the problem (along with *all* other problems of bathroom
usability) has long since been studied carefully and seriously by
the civil engineers at Cornell: see "The Bathroom" by Alexander
Kira for their conclusions and recommendations.
For the piss-spray problem, they recommend male-specific urinals
with anti-splashback design in all facilities, public and
private, and female-specific urinals in public facilities. (Their
proposed redesign of the standard toilet is expected to suffice
for female urination at home.)
And where can you buy these marvelous redesigned fixtures? You
can't. When were the proposals made for their creation? In the
1970's. So much for the advancement of civilization. Back to the
stone age.
Peeve: that "The Bathroom" is to be found among the porn
paperbacks in some establishments.
--
Uncle Gargoyle
Uncle Gargoyle
(Feorag NicBhride) wrote:
> (what do you feed pet cthulhus?)
Cthulhu is a specific horrific entity, not a genre thereof.
He(she? it?) belongs to the class "Ancient Ones" iirc.
Nyarlahotep is another.
You probably mean shoggoths.
--
Uncle Gargoyle
Nosy
"Feorag NicBhride" <feo...@antipope.nsl.co.uk> wrote:
<> On 7 Sep 2001 11:19:23 GMT, Pete Young
<> <pe...@antipope.org> wrote:
<>
<> >You'll be telling me next that there are no water meters in Scotland.
<
< The water hasn't been privatised, so the only water meters are in
< businesses like the brewery. The rest of us have an amount in our Council
< Tax to cover water and sewerage.
There's still some old places in these USofA that do the
same. Years ago, Denver charged a lot of customers a flat
rate based on the number of feet that adjoined the street;
big lot, bigger fee, small lot, smaller fee. Probably
a scheme that dated to the 19th century.
When the city water utility got around to putting meters
on the older houses and businesses, there was a noticeable
change in the amount of water used in that there part of
town.
See "Commons, tragedy of"...
Peter Stickney
Eric O'Connor <ad...@fundynips.com> writes:
> ?Peeve: Had a regular Joe ask me what Fundynips was, I wasn't quite
> sure how to respond. How do you dampen a heathen/racist domain?
>
> Should I say I'm in the communion wafer business?
It must have been my upbringing un the Hedonistic '70s, but the first
image that popped into my mind was Wet Cassock Contests at the
Baptismal Pool.
--
Pete Stickney
A strong conviction that something must be done is the parent of many
bad measures. -- Daniel Webster
Dave Garrett
k...@duke.edu says...
[VD films]
> And excellent films they were! Prolly the same ones that
> Peevers Sorenson and Miller saw - a bored lieutenant
> standing in front of a podium warning about "going with
> prostitutes", which usually prompted some wag in the
> audience to shout: "I don't want to 'go' with one, I just
> want to fuck 'em."
>
> There then followed a delightful montage of the bars
> in such vacation spots as Olongapo City, the two
> Jacksonvilles (NC and FL) and, of course, Pearl City.
> Curiously, Friends Lounge outside Camp Lejeune was
> never mentioned.
I recently had the pleasure of seeing one of the more
entertaining movies I've seen in recent memory: an animated VD
warning film made by none other than Disney (details at
http://www.othercinema.com/otherzine/ozissue2/vd.html). I imagine
it ranks right up there with THE STORY OF MENSTRUATION on the
list of Disney films that Michael Eisner would like to pretend
never existed.
Dave
Charlie Stross
The continent of lies, Nosy, as you should well know.
-- Charlie
"Your password must be at least 18770 characters and cannot repeat any of your
previous 30689 passwords. Please type a different password. Type a password
that meets these requirements in both text boxes."
(Error message from Microsoft Windows 2000 SP1)
Alan Gore
> All I can say is "I'm impressed!" You must have one hell
>of a dingus if it can get in contact with the public facilities.
Thanks, but I was referring to the seated position.
"Boy, that water's cold!"
Charlie Stross
>>I've been flushing tampons since I started using them, and there have been
>>no plumbing explosions that could be directly attributed to that. It's
>>the applicators that cause the havoc. And I just don't understand the
>>ladies who flush maxi pads or daipers.
>
>Ditto on the tampon bit. I have heard of it doing bad things, but in
>the same sorts of septic systems that couldn't handle toilet paper,
>either.
Certain types of toilet take exception to them ...
To be specific: in the UK, normal waste pipes have a 4-inch bore. They'll
take all sorts of shit, tampons included, and probably sanitary towels
as well. But you don't want to try nappies: these waste pipes empty by
gravity -- they drain into sewers -- and although they can't back up into
your home, if you block 'em the next time you flush the toilet you _will_
know about it.
But there's another type of toilet. This variety uses a 1-inch waste
pipe. To squish the faeces and toilet paper down the pipe, they use an
electric waste-disposal type macerator. If you stick a tampon down one,
its string *will* jam the macerator, resulting in an annoyed plumber
and a call-out fee. Anything other than bog roll (which dissolves easily)
or shit is a strict no-no.
I know this because my sister has one of these turboflush units in the
granny flat on the third floor of her house. I stay there when I visit. I
do not use tampons. However, a previous visitor didn't bother to read
the bright red warning sticker on the loo seat and assumed that there was
no need to use the small bin my sister had thoughtfully stationed there,
and I got to be the lucky guy who innocently took a leak, flushed the
toilet, and got the wet feet to prove it.
?Peeve: that toilet unit is situated right above her bedroom ceiling --
in fact, right above her bed. Talk about nasty ways to wake up ...
-- Charlie
"I hope we shall crush in its birth the aristocracy of our monied
corporations which dare already to challenge our government to a trial
of strength, and bid defiance to the laws of our country."
-- Thomas Jefferson, 1816, commenting presciently on the DMCA
Charlie Stross
>Precisely. "Children have exactly the same chance of being killed by a
>stranger that they did ten years, twenty years and thirty years ago" is
>not a news story. "Little Jimmy viciously blugeoned by brute; what must
>we do to make our children safe?" is.
What perpetually weirds me out is that most of the press will hare
after stories like that, while in the presence of really major news
items. I mean, right now in the US, a senator who is in the pay of
Microsoft and the music industry is trying to push through a bill
which will effectively make it illegal to use any digital electronic
device -- computers included -- that isn't wearing the copyright
equivalent of a chastity belt; there's almost certainly a paper
trail of expense-account lunches, lobbying and PACs leading to a
juicy story about multinational media conglomerates trying to bribe
the government into destroying the computer industry. Meanwhile, the FBI
is raiding an ISP because it's used by a minority religious faith, the
EC has decided to emulate the DMCA and destroy "fair use" rights
in copyright law, and British and US bombers are beating the crap
out of Iraqi air defenses again.
But what's in the headlines? Gary Condit, Marlon Brando being heckled
at a Michael Jackson concert, Kate Moss injured slightly in car crash.
Pardon me while I adjust my cynicism.
-- Charlie
Brian Trosko
> Cthulhu is a specific horrific entity, not a genre thereof.
> He(she? it?) belongs to the class "Ancient Ones" iirc.
> Nyarlahotep is another.
> You probably mean shoggoths.
Nope. Star Spawn are the little minicthulhus that can reportedly be
taught to use a cat flap. Shoggoths just ooze all over the place.
Jason M. Sullivan
Alan Gore <ag...@qwest.net> wrote:
>jul...@bokassa.tele.com (Julian Macassey) wrote:
>
>> All I can say is "I'm impressed!" You must have one hell
>>of a dingus if it can get in contact with the public facilities.
>
>Thanks, but I was referring to the seated position.
>
>"Boy, that water's cold!"
>
"And deep."
--
//// Jason M. SULLIVAN jsul...@nc.rr.com
|c-oo http://home.nc.rr.com/jason0x21
\_- "That's not music, that's just sound!" - J. David Fries
Alan Gore
>... I mean, right now in the US, a senator who is in the pay of
>Microsoft and the music industry is trying to push through a bill
>which will effectively make it illegal to use any digital electronic
>device -- computers included -- that isn't wearing the copyright
>equivalent of a chastity belt; there's almost certainly a paper
>trail of expense-account lunches, lobbying and PACs leading to a
>juicy story about multinational media conglomerates trying to bribe
>the government into destroying the computer industry. Meanwhile, the FBI
>is raiding an ISP because it's used by a minority religious faith, the
>EC has decided to emulate the DMCA and destroy "fair use" rights
>in copyright law, and British and US bombers are beating the crap
>out of Iraqi air defenses again.
The cure for all of which is simple: cut federal taxes - and the EU
central-government equivalents - by another fifty percent, across the
board, right now. This will force governments to, like business,
proritize:. The diminished revenue will have to be put into the
critical essentials. There won't be enough for DMCA and Sen. Hollings'
proposed new Son Of DMCA. There won't be enough to keep the War On
Drugs spy-and-seize complex going, nor to micromanage Iraqi internal
affairs, nor to run Echelon and its EU brethren.
>But what's in the headlines? Gary Condit, Marlon Brando being heckled
>at a Michael Jackson concert, Kate Moss injured slightly in car crash.
Out of all industries, the entertainment/media complex makes the most
political contributions. So long as we let government metastasize, it
and all the other lobbyists will keep getting more of what they pay
for.
ga...@codsquad.com
>Alan Gore <ag...@qwest.net> wrote:
>>jul...@bokassa.tele.com (Julian Macassey) wrote:
>>
>>> All I can say is "I'm impressed!" You must have one hell
>>>of a dingus if it can get in contact with the public facilities.
>>
>
>"And deep."
"Naw, not that deep..."
-g
AB
> cha...@nospam.antipope.org (Charlie Stross) wrote:
>
>>[The news you don't see: SSSCA FBI ISP EC DMCA bomb Iraq]
>
> The cure for all of which is simple: cut federal taxes - and the EU
> central-government equivalents - by another fifty percent, across the
> board, right now.
My uncle Bob tells me that once we drastically reduce the size of The
Gubmint, the sick will be cured, the blind shall see and the gimps
won't gimp no more. Or was that something about Jeezus?
> This will force governments to, like business, proritize:. The
> diminished revenue will have to be put into the critical
> essentials.
Critical essentials like law enforcement? Better yet, prioritized
law enforcement? I'm sure that priorities will reflect concern for
the welfare and rights of all citizens, and that any undue influence
will simply not be tolerated.
> There won't be enough for DMCA and Sen. Hollings' proposed new Son
> Of DMCA. There won't be enough to keep the War On Drugs
> spy-and-seize complex going, nor to micromanage Iraqi internal
> affairs, nor to run Echelon and its EU brethren.
Tell me, has lack of funds ever stayed the hands of those who would
seek to impress voter and lobbyist alike by magically creating
mandates and crimes out of nought but paper and ink?
We found enough money for mandatory minimum sentences, "Three
Strikes" laws, RICO and various high-profile computer-crimes cases.
We built prisons and bought nifty law-enforcement toys, yea, even in
the face of school-funding crunches and serious budget deficits.
Don't worry, there'll always be money enough to uphold the Majesty of
The Law. It is, one might say, a Government's core competency.
>>But what's in the headlines? Gary Condit, Marlon Brando being heckled
>>at a Michael Jackson concert, Kate Moss injured slightly in car crash.
>
> Out of all industries, the entertainment/media complex makes the most
> political contributions. So long as we let government metastasize, it
> and all the other lobbyists will keep getting more of what they pay
> for.
Ob!Peeve: Knee-jerk non-sequiturs.
ObPeeve: Probably one of the last nice weekends of the Summer and my
damn motorcycle parts won't be in 'til Tuesday.
Keith F. Lynch
> Why would leaving a tap dripping be expensive?
It's bad for the plumbing. After a few days, corrosion or lime may
make it impossible to completely close the tap. Or perhaps to open it.
--
Keith F. Lynch - k...@keithlynch.net - http://keithlynch.net/
I always welcome replies to my e-mail, postings, and web pages, but
unsolicited bulk e-mail sent to thousands of randomly collected
addresses is not acceptable, and I do complain to the spammer's ISP.
Peter Stickney
Strayhorn <k...@duke.edu> writes:
> In article <9nar1q$62m$1...@bokassa.tele.com>,
> jul...@bokassa.tele.com (Julian Macassey) wrote:
>
>> In article <kes-8114D7.0...@colossus.oit.duke.edu>,
>> Strayhorn <k...@duke.edu> wrote:
>> > M Holmes <fo...@holyrood.ed.ac.uk> wrote:
>> >> Are there actually any germs, commonly found on toilet seats, which
>> >> invade the things and buttocks?
>> >
>> >
>>
>> sailors as "ladies fever".
>
> The very one.
>
>
>> This has got to be a troll. Surely former Marine
>> Strayhorn has seen the pox and clap training movies.
>
> And excellent films they were! Prolly the same ones that
> Peevers Sorenson and Miller saw - a bored lieutenant
> standing in front of a podium warning about "going with
> prostitutes", which usually prompted some wag in the
> audience to shout: "I don't want to 'go' with one, I just
> want to fuck 'em."
>
> There then followed a delightful montage of the bars
> in such vacation spots as Olongapo City, the two
> Jacksonvilles (NC and FL) and, of course, Pearl City.
> Curiously, Friends Lounge outside Camp Lejeune was
> never mentioned.
>
> the AF allows the clap.
There is no Clap in the Air Force! That's why they don't need to keep
statistics on it.
The subject was covered, somewhat. We got lessons in interpreting the
Health Cards of Registered German Prostitutes, for example.
And advice about "Don't do that." But I also had an oddball Beast
Year - It was the first year that females/women were admitted to the
Zoomie U. This made for some, well, interesting dancing around.
(Although Female Officer Candidates didn't tend to be ballerinas -
they had to pass the same Physical Aptitude Tests that we did.
Although, at one point, I ended up viewing some World War 1 VD films.
It wasan experience uhm, well, hard to describe. It made my dangly
bits decide to petition to "Go Home NOW! We're not covered for this!"
Kinda makes you appreciate the benefits of antibiotics.
Charlie Stross
>Charlie Stross <cha...@antipope.org> wrote:
>> Why would leaving a tap dripping be expensive?
>
>It's bad for the plumbing. After a few days, corrosion or lime may
>make it impossible to completely close the tap. Or perhaps to open it.
Again: remember, I live somewhere where we have granite rocks about one
metre under the topsoil. (Calcium carbonate, what's that?) Put it another
way: earlier this year I had some century-old lead pipe ripped out and
replaced. The limescale in it was a fraction of a millimetre thick.
-- Charlie
Charlie Stross
>The cure for all of which is simple: cut federal taxes - and the EU
>central-government equivalents - by another fifty percent, across the
>board, right now. This will force governments to, like business,
>proritize:
On getting their bribes in.
I figure a large chunk of the problem the US has with spurious legislation
is a direct result of you guys not having strictly enforced limits on what
politicians are allowed to spend on their election campaigning. This means
that anyone who wants to run for high office needs to (a) be mega-rich or
(b) raise millions of dollars, which (c) means they're usually beholden
to backers. When the backers ask to discuss some proposed legislation,
the politicians have to listen; and if it's in a field that they don't
understand, they'll probably take those lobbyists' assertions at face
value rather than investigate them. After all, they're all friends, right?
>The diminished revenue will have to be put into the
>critical essentials. There won't be enough for DMCA and Sen. Hollings'
>proposed new Son Of DMCA. There won't be enough to keep the War On
>Drugs spy-and-seize complex going, nor to micromanage Iraqi internal
>affairs, nor to run Echelon and its EU brethren.
Er, no: those items will either be retained (national security, don'tcha
know) or implemented because they don't cost the gummint anything but
some debate time and law enforcement dollars which can be recouped via
civil forfeiture (the DMCA and Son of DMCA). What'll go out the window
will be the boring little things like social security, road repairs,
medicare/medicaid, and anything that doesn't contribute to the pork
that gets the representative re-elected.
>Out of all industries, the entertainment/media complex makes the most
>political contributions. So long as we let government metastasize, it
>and all the other lobbyists will keep getting more of what they pay
>for.
On the contrary: if you cut government funding back, the lobbyists with
the big political contributions will be the _last_ people to stop getting
what they go to Washington for. After all, they're paying. You guys are
in danger of getting the best legal system that money can buy.
-- Charlie
Dan Hillman
> Why, years after the end of the Cold War, are we still
> stabling troops in Europe and Japan?
I dunnno about Europe, but I've seen how badly the Japanese fight
against giant lizards.
--
Dan Hillman hil...@quahog.org http://quahog.org/hillman/
Keith F. Lynch
> Again: remember, I live somewhere where we have granite rocks about
> one metre under the topsoil. (Calcium carbonate, what's that?)
I'm sorry to hear that. While hard water is hard on plumbing and
washing, it's very healthful to drink. Since I don't drink milk, I
figure I get most of my calcium from the local tapwater. And even if
I did drink milk, I'd still get most of my magnesium from the faucet.
Not to mention that alkaline hard water is less likely to dissolve
random unwanted stuff upstream from me (lead, copper, iron, etc).
(Yes, most adult males are better off with less iron rather than
more.)
> Put it another way: earlier this year I had some century-old lead
> pipe ripped out and replaced. The limescale in it was a fraction of
> a millimetre thick.
I hope that pipe didn't carry drinking water.
Alan Gore
>Critical essentials like law enforcement? Better yet, prioritized
>law enforcement? I'm sure that priorities will reflect concern for
>the welfare and rights of all citizens, and that any undue influence
>will simply not be tolerated.
Law enforcement is primarily a local function. Federal law enforcement
has always applied to a few traditional types of interstate crime
(bank robberies, counterfeiting) whose incidence has not changed much
over the years. The big increase in federal law enforcement spending
in the last decade has been for those spectacular drug raids we all
know and love, for having the Coast Guard machine-gun ships on the
high seas, for gunning down planeloads of missionaries in Peru, and
for bogus economic crimes of definition like "money laundering" (It's
my money, dammit, and I'll spend it however I want to. If I gained
that money illegally, then prosecute me for the actual crime by which
my gain was ill-gotten. Don't dream up a new bullshit offense called
"money laundering" just to justify an international spy-and-seize
network.) The FBI, which used to invoked only on American soil for
serious interstate violations, now romps all over the world handing
out parking tickets. Just last week, the Feebly Eye proudly trumpeted
a bust, in Bangkok, of one washed-up rock musician accused of boinking
underaged girls. Wow - my tax dollars hard at work!
But let me not be unfair here. Part of this massive militarization of
law enforcement was supposed to be "100,000 new police on the street."
Let's see - that promise, if it was ever kept, works out to about one
cop per town. Feel any safer yet?
>> There won't be enough for DMCA and Sen. Hollings' proposed new Son
>> Of DMCA. There won't be enough to keep the War On Drugs
>> spy-and-seize complex going, nor to micromanage Iraqi internal
>> affairs, nor to run Echelon and its EU brethren.
>
>Tell me, has lack of funds ever stayed the hands of those who would
>seek to impress voter and lobbyist alike by magically creating
>mandates and crimes out of nought but paper and ink?
Go ahead - let them try to explain to us on the Sunday news shows why
keeping the Echelon servers running is more important than meat
inspection. And no, the newfangled ability of federal law enforcement
to steal private property without due process does not nearly pay for
all the gratuitous extra activities it has gotten involved in.
Alan Gore
>I figure a large chunk of the problem the US has with spurious legislation
>is a direct result of you guys not having strictly enforced limits on what
>politicians are allowed to spend on their election campaigning. This means
>that anyone who wants to run for high office needs to (a) be mega-rich or
>(b) raise millions of dollars, which (c) means they're usually beholden
>to backers. When the backers ask to discuss some proposed legislation,
>the politicians have to listen; and if it's in a field that they don't
>understand, they'll probably take those lobbyists' assertions at face
>value rather than investigate them. After all, they're all friends, right?
No amount of fiddling with the allowability and disclosure of campaign
contributions takes care of the essential problem, which is that the
bigger and more centralized government gets, the more bizarre new
powers they can grant to the biggest businesses. Assume that lobbyists
will go out and purchase as much influence as they can. The only way
to prevent that influfdence form being translated into action is to
cut the revenue governments get to perform said action.
RoyB
Tums. Chalk.
Charlie Stross
as <k...@KeithLynch.net> declared:
>Charlie Stross <cha...@antipope.org> wrote:
>> Again: remember, I live somewhere where we have granite rocks about
>> one metre under the topsoil. (Calcium carbonate, what's that?)
>
>I'm sorry to hear that. While hard water is hard on plumbing and
>washing, it's very healthful to drink.
I prefer to drink milk. Get through about two litres of it a week, in
my tea.
>> Put it another way: earlier this year I had some century-old lead
>> pipe ripped out and replaced. The limescale in it was a fraction of
>> a millimetre thick.
>
>I hope that pipe didn't carry drinking water.
It sure did. However, contrary to myth and legend, lead pipe doesn't
actually dissolve very easily (remember, it's a century old -- right?).
I've got the assay results somewhere to prove it -- the lead and heavy
metal content in our tap water was about an order of magnitude
below the level at which they recommend changing the pipes, much less
the maximum permitted level for drinking water. We replaced the pipe
because it began leaking, not because it was toxic.
-- Charlie
Terry Austin
Having worked in a plumbing shop, I can absolutely guarantee you that
allowing a constant drip *will* erode channels in the fixture, making it
impossible to turn the faucet off, and requiring replacement of several of
the mechanical parts to fix. It will also get worse over time, albeit on a
decreasing scale.
--
Terry Austin <tau...@hyperbooks.com>
http://www.hyperbooks.com/
If you don't use both your left brain and right brain,
you've basically just got half a brain.
-John Rudd
Gerald Belton
(Charlie Stross) wrote:
>What perpetually weirds me out is that most of the press will hare
>after stories like that, while in the presence of really major news
>items. I mean, right now in the US, a senator who is in the pay of
>Microsoft and the music industry is trying to push through a bill
>which will effectively make it illegal to use any digital electronic
>device -- computers included -- that isn't wearing the copyright
>equivalent of a chastity belt;
There are three reasons that the mass media in the Yew Ess aren't
covering this:
1) It's impossible to explain this story in a minute and a half;
2) There's no video
3) The average TeeVee viewer wouldn't understand it, and wouldn't care
about it if she did understand it.
Gerald
--
Newly redesigned website:
http://www.beltonphoto.com
Bob O`Bob
> ?Peeve: Had a regular Joe ask me what Fundynips was, I wasn't quite
> sure how to respond. How do you dampen a heathen/racist domain?
>
> Should I say I'm in the communion wafer business?
See www.dynip.com
Tell 'em you were planning to compete, but couldn't get enough startup capital.
Bob
--
Life makes SO much less sense when you're sane.
b...@mycomputer.example.net
State function actually. In the USA the states have the power of
police, which derive from the powers granted by the people in the
various state constitutions. The federal government is limited to
the the powers granted by the US constitution. Drug enforcement
comes mainly from the commerce clause, and from the federal
government's power to enforce treaties. There are a number of
treaties affecting drug trafficking. If the federal government
disappeared tonight there would still be plenty of law enforcement
in the USA.
This thread has deviated a hell of a long way from pissing on
toilet seats, except that one example of the misuse of the
commerce clause by Congress is the federal mandate for low
flow toilets. Plumbing codes were state business.
Nosy
<Stoned koala bears drooled eucalyptus spittle in awe
<as <no...@shell.rt66.com> declared:
<
<>cha...@nospam.antipope.org (Charlie Stross) writes:
<>< Now, _that_ is a good idea. If I see a branch of Petsmart on this
<>< continent I'll go see if they've got one.
<>
<> Huh?
<> Which continent would that be, where Scotland is
<> now located?
<
<The continent of lies, Nosy, as you should well know.
Charlie Stross
as <no...@shell.rt66.com> declared:
><>cha...@nospam.antipope.org (Charlie Stross) writes:
><>< Now, _that_ is a good idea. If I see a branch of Petsmart on this
><>< continent I'll go see if they've got one.
><>
><> Huh?
><> Which continent would that be, where Scotland is
><> now located?
><
><The continent of lies, Nosy, as you should well know.
>
> Eh? When did that island become a continent?
Literal-mindedness plus fifty cents will get you a cup of coffee.
-- Charlie "metaphors and puns spoken here" Stross
Tim Mefford
Alan Gore <ag...@qwest.net> wrote:
>Go ahead - let them try to explain to us on the Sunday news shows why
>keeping the Echelon servers running is more important than meat
>inspection.
That's right, Al, every government action which works to the detriment
of the populous and for the benefit of the rich gets a general airing
out in front of an interested, involved, and influential public who
make sure that justice is served. And the free-market fairies fly
over the world every night making sure that agents of self-interest
operate within the constraints of the system and don't use the
government as a tool to circumvent competition. And someday,
Libertaria will spontaneously arise as the ultimate utopia, and
you'll be the national hero.... Go back to sleep, you haven't
stopped dreaming.
ObPeeve: Books so physically large that my hand hurts from holding
them for any extended period of time.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
On being robbed by his employer:
"Some of the Americans, however, fared much worse, and were
deterred from returning to the settlements at all, by their
debts to the company, which they were hopeless of discharging
by any ordinary business in which they could engage. Such is
one instance of the kind and considerate justice of wealth,
to defenseless poverty, beautifully illustrating the truth
of the statement uttered by somebody, `take care of the rich,
and the rich will take care of the poor.'"
-Thomas James describing events of 1810
_____Tim_Mefford________...@aracnet.com_
me
"Tim Mefford" <t...@shell1.aracnet.com> wrote in message
news:SZ5n7.53641$QL2.1...@sjcpnn01.usenetserver.com...
> That's right, Al, every government action which works to the detriment
> of the populous
__________^
BLAM !
Eric O'Connor
Tim Mefford wrote:
>ObPeeve: Books so physically large that my hand hurts from holding
>them for any extended period of time.
The little black books belonging to Julian and Kenny were never
intended to be carried.
Set them on a table before you hurt yourself.
b...@mycomputer.example.net
> Related peeve: Are parents' noses so knocked out of whack by the stench
> of their progeny that they actually have to directly sniff its ass in
> order to determine it has shat itself? I see this all the time - moocow
> picks up little squaller and damn near buries her nose in its sphinc in
> order to determine fecal expulsion status.
They're trying to differentiate between an actual shit and a mere fart.
It helps to remember that we all were once red, wet, smelly, noisy
lumps of protoplasm and great trials to our mothers.
Jim Hill
>
>The federal government is limited to
>the the powers granted by the US constitution.
Hyuk! That's a good un!
!Peeve: Kneeslappers.
Jim
--
"This place blows." -- David Letterman
J.W.T. Meakin
Strayhorn wrote:
> "But the bottom sure is muddy . . . "
>
"Only down to the Silurian"
Seth Breidbart
Strayhorn <k...@duke.edu> wrote:
>So, you might think, one bathroom for men and one for women.
>Not quite. One for women, and one still unisex. Why is this?
>Because the unisex one was fitted with handrails and etc and brought into
>compliance for the wheelie set. OK, that's fine with me. They
>gotta go, too.
>
>But I didn't realize that this meant that we actually had two
>women's bathrooms on the first floor.
ObSolution: Put up a sign that says "Men and Handicrapped Women".
Seth