Here's what I wrote to friends and family:
My wife Cecily's little brother Sean died this morning.
He was sleeping peacefully, surrounded by many of those who loved him, and
quietly slipped away.
Sean Adams was 35.
Those of you who followed my nightly missives for so long will recall that a
couple of months after we learned of Cecily's fatal illness, in the fall of
2003, her brother began having seizures and eventually was diagnosed with a
brain tumor. He underwent a number of difficult procedures over the next
two and a half years, including surgery and radiation. He lost his hair,
his equilibrium, his speech, his mobility, and finally, this morning, his
life, but he never lost his spirit or his determination or his great good
humor. In light of what he had witnessed with his sister Cecily, I know it
must have been doubly difficult for him to find encouragement anywhere in
the process. Yet I never once saw him without a wry smile on his face, even
when a smile was the upward limit of his ability to communicate.
Through it all, by his side was Anna, the lovely, sweet girl he had only
recently begun dating when his illness struck. She and Sean married last
fall. Much younger than Sean, with little in the way of resources to deal
with a catastrophically ill boyfriend, she cared for him, and bore burdens
that I cannot imagine. Despite his good humor and good nature, there were
times when the cancer's effect on Sean's brain caused temporary changes in
his personality, and during those occasional instances, he was a most
difficult patient. Anna coped with these and with all the fears and turmoil
and sorrow with a grace that cannot go unremarked. I'm afraid these past
two years have cost her much, yet I cannot imagine she has not become
stronger and finer. My admiration and love for her is beyond description.
My heart breaks, too, for Stacey, Sean's sister, who has now lost a sister,
a father, and a brother in 27 months. Not that there aren't other siblings
in the family who share this loss, but Stacey and Sean grew up together in
the a different household from all the others, and she was with him
consistently throughout his illness.
When I first met Sean, he was a teenager. He seemed troubled, aimless, yet
always exhibiting to me a sweetness and a perhaps over-self-deprecating
sense of humor. He came to live with Cecily and me for a while, and I so
enjoyed his presence in our lives -- even when he set the coffee pot on
fire. After he left us, I saw a shift in him that I can't quite describe or
attribute to anything in particular. But as he progressed through his
twenties, he seemed more determined and more focused. He attended culinary
school and became a notable and highly respected chef. He created menus for
and worked in some of the finest restaurants in Southern California, and I
can say absolutely that having Thanksgiving dinner prepared in one's own
kitchen by a master chef is the only way to have Thanksgiving dinner. A few
weeks ago, several of Sean's friends, chefs from various top-flight
restaurants, hosted a party celebrating the till-then secret wedding of Sean
and Anna. Besides the magnificent multi-course meal, there was clear
evidence that Sean was beloved of his colleagues. It was sad in so many
ways, because the end of the road was clearly in sight, but at the same
moment, it was such a splendid and remarkable affirmation of the wonderful,
decent, humane, and talented man Sean had become.
For those of you who pray, I ask your prayers for Sean's soul, and for the
comfort of his wife Anna, his mother Dorothy, and his sister Stacey and
sisters Carolyn, Chris, Cathy, and Beige. Those of you who don't pray,
please hum along.
Jim Beaver
Will do, Jim. Our best thoughts will be with you and the rest of the
family. Holler at need.
>For those of you who pray, I ask your prayers for Sean's soul, and for the
>comfort of his wife Anna, his mother Dorothy, and his sister Stacey and
>sisters Carolyn, Chris, Cathy, and Beige. Those of you who don't pray,
>please hum along.
Having done that, I can only wish all of you peace. b
--
"It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens." - Woody Allen
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wax-up and drop-in of Surfing's Golden Years: <http://www.surfwriter.net>
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Paul Sauberer
What a rough few years you've had! You and they will all be in my
thoughts and hums.
--
MGW (Note: my Hotmail address is seldom checked)
Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even
when you take into account Hofstadter's Law. - Douglas Hofstadter
Far to young.
Mark
--
King Daevid MacKenzie, WLSU-FM 88.9 La Crosse, Wisconsin, USA
heard Sundays 8:00 A.M. PST/PDT over KRFP-LP 92.5 Moscow, Idaho and at
http://www.krfp.org/documents/listen_windowsmedia.asx
archived in mp3 at http://www.radio4all.net
http://www.myspace.com/kingdaevid
"You can live in your dreams, but only if you are worthy of them."
HARLAN ELLISON
Barbara
What a wonderfully-written tribute, Jim. You make me feel like I knew
Sean personally. So many sad, difficult and nasty hits for the Adams
family recently. People like you and Anna are the angels that came
into the family at a time when you were going to be needed very much.
I think you both wear gossamer wings!
God be with you all .. here and there.
And may you find (or continue to find) peace and happiness in these
tough times. You seem to have managed to keep your head well above all
of the juvenile bs that one finds in this and other newsgoups, and you
are to be congradulated.
May the rest of your life on this planet be productive, prosperous,
happy, and long. And when the time comes I sincerely hope that there
is a glorious reunion amongst y'all.
Peace.
--PirateJohn--
- nilita
So sorry to hear about this Jim. May your family have nothing but
happiness from here on and may Sean rest in peace.
Jim, I'm very sorry to hear this. Sending healing thoughts to you and
to the Adams clan.
K.
My deepest condolences to you and the rest of your family.
Jules W.
I'm so sorry for your family's loss, Jim. If there is a bright side in all
of this, I think it is that you have known the love of some very special
people in your life, people whose very essence has touched and filled what
would have been an empty spot in your heart and something that incredible
never dies. I will be praying.
Kathy Wajerski
So sorry Jim for your continued family tragedies. Your family remains
in our prayers.
Kathi
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>My brother-in-law died this morning.
>
<snip>
>
>For those of you who pray, I ask your prayers for Sean's soul, and for the
>comfort of his wife Anna, his mother Dorothy, and his sister Stacey and
>sisters Carolyn, Chris, Cathy, and Beige. Those of you who don't pray,
>please hum along.
>
>Jim Beaver
>
Jim,
My condolences to you and yours.
My prayers and hums go out to Sean's family and friends.
-Chef Juke
"EVERYbody Eats When They Come To MY House!"
www.chefjuke.com
My deepest condolences to you and your family. We will keep them and Sean
in our prayers
Tom
Jim,
Deepest condolences to you, Anna and the family over the passing of Sean
Adams. My thoughts and prayers are with you, and I may throw in a little
humming here and there as well!
Stacia
If it can provide you with any comfort to know that you will be in my
thoughts and prayers, know that it will be the case.
Loki
To support our men and women overseas
who may not be getting packages from home,
you can get some ideas as to how to do so at:
http://www.anysoldier.com/index.cfm
It is a non profit, volunteer run organization.
I encourage everyone to check it out,
respond from the heart, and pass it
along to anyone you think may want
to remember our overseas military personnel,
throughout the year.
God bless you. AJG
>For those of you who pray, I ask your prayers for Sean's soul, and for the
>comfort of his wife Anna, his mother Dorothy, and his sister Stacey and
>sisters Carolyn, Chris, Cathy, and Beige. Those of you who don't pray,
>please hum along.
>
>Jim Beaver
Jim,
Please accept my sympathies.
And I have to add that your last paragraph- and especially your last
line- confirmed to me that you are one of the cleverest and most
articulate posters I have ever had the pleasure to read on Usenet.
Peace.
Jack
Perhaps a funeral oration by one of the Brotherhood-mmm of-mmm Men-mmm
Who-mmm Say-mmm "mmm"-mmm Between-mmm Words-mmm from the old "Fridays"
show would cover the bases?
-=-=-
The World Trade Center towers MUST rise again,
at least as tall as before...or terror has triumphed.
Hopefully the dark cloud will finally be lifted from your family.
Ray
Denise Perry
---
This is where it's at!