[POEM] If Only...
Elizabeth A. Johnson
guess I bitch entirely too much so no one's paying any attention to me.
and I want someone to pay attention to me dammit! so pay attention to
me. praise me. pet me. stroke me. brush me with my pink kitty brush
and make me purr. because my life sucks and I'm in too much pain right
now. and I want to die. and I want to be happy. start doing your job
and make me happy already. :P
it's nowhere near perfect, but it's one of those where it isn't intended
to be perfect anyway. so it'll never be perfect. just my emotions at
the time. that's all.
If only I were Catholic.
If only I were thin.
If only I could try
To forgive my father for his sin.
If only I could bare children.
Ha! And only if I would!
If only I were pretty.
Then maybe I'd be good.
If only I'd wear make up
And tiny strappy shoes.
If only I would drink more, drink less,
And eat the foods I should.
If only I got rid of the cats.
If only I lost weight.
If only I were smarter
And had a proper mate.
If only I'd go back to school
or wear some fancy dress.
If only I'd listen to you
My life wouldn't be a mess.
If only I got rid of my toys.
If only I'd grow up.
If only I would get a job
and buy a car or truck.
If only you would listen.
If only you could understand.
If only you'd help out a bit
I wouldn't want my life to end.
I hate this broken body.
Please let my spirit fly.
I'm so tired of the pain.
Please, God, just let me die.
Avenging_Lioness
--
"I'm wet... I'm naked... your sister is wearing my clothes... and this
is all part of some evil plot TO RULE THE WORLD AS A SOGGY CHIMP IN HIS
BIRTHDAY SUIT?!?!?!?"
Rabbitswift
<lizo...@worldnet.att.net> wrote:
> ok, I wrote this a few days ago and posted it to my livejournal, but I
> guess I bitch entirely too much so no one's paying any attention to me.
And more fool them if they are! I keep thinkin' I ought to get a livejournal,
and maybe I will someday.
> and I want someone to pay attention to me dammit! so pay attention to
> me. praise me. pet me. stroke me. brush me with my pink kitty brush
> and make me purr. because my life sucks and I'm in too much pain right
> now. and I want to die. and I want to be happy. start doing your job
> and make me happy already. :P
>
Aww. *Hugs the lioness and pets her and brushes her fur with her pink
kitty brush trying to make her purr.* You know we love you, pretty Lioness!
> it's nowhere near perfect, but it's one of those where it isn't intended
> to be perfect anyway. so it'll never be perfect. just my emotions at
> the time. that's all.
>
Beware the "perfect poem" or the person who asserts that their is so.
There's no such thing. Best piece of advice I ever got about poetry was
that a poem is never really /done/. You just write on it until you're as
satisfied with it as you can be. Hell, half the stuff I've posted on my site I'm
not entirely happy with, I just couldn't make 'em work any better at the
moment. If I ever feel I wanna revise 'em, I will. That's what makes poetry
such a wonderful artform.
Speaking of which, I greatly enjoyed your poem. You managed to make it
rhyme, which is something I can never get right.
*Hugs* Nice poem as I said above. Very sad, but I get a sense of
defiance as well, and I think the two emotions play off each other quite
well. There's a couple of lines that seem a tad off kilter: the third line in
stanza three, and the fourth line in stanza six maybe break up the rythmn a
bit, but that's nothing big. {And you can ignore the critique if you want to,
or smack me for being an ass.} Overall, very nice.
C'est la vie.
--Rabbit
"Rabbits, like gods, are timid, But they are not easily beaten."
from "The Rabbit in the Moon"© M.Williams, 2003
Furcode: FMS[Spotted Skunk]4s/CF[Swift Fox]4s A- C- D# H+ M- P- R+ T
W Z+ Sm?/m? RLLW/AT a24 c+ d? e++ f++++ !h iwf+ j+ p++ sm#
Skytech
I
> guess I bitch entirely too much so no one's paying any attention to
me.
> and I want someone to pay attention to me dammit! so pay attention
to
> me. praise me. pet me. stroke me. brush me with my pink kitty
brush
> and make me purr. because my life sucks and I'm in too much pain
right
> now. and I want to die. and I want to be happy. start doing your
job
> and make me happy already. :P
>
Aaaaw... Will a couple of bouncey kits who need to give their Auntie
AL major hugs an' snuggles be a good start? We definately could use
some cheering up around here and you remind us that we do have an
obligation to our community.
The weather will improve. Sunny and warm breezes. Time to brush off
the
pic-a-nic tables and fire up the grills and fireplaces. I'll crank up
a fresh can of Nutella Heaven ice cream while Lana gets her brushes
and scented fur conditioner. We'll lay in the bright, warm sun.
Later we can hop the train, a faithful replica of a DeWitt Clinton
with open carriages so we can savor the ride as we watch the
countryside pass at a leisurely pace on our way for a shopping spree.
Oh what else can we do?
--
La gvatantaj vulpoj (The vigilant foxes)
Skytech Lana Jason Alena
^^ ^^
<@@> <~~> ^^ ^^
.] .] <..> <..>
Farlo
> Oh what else can we do?
Barbecue?
--
Farlo
Urban Fey Dragon
Imperial States of America
Warren Forest
news:1107_10...@news.critter.net...
> Beware the "perfect poem" or the person who asserts that their is so.
> There's no such thing. Best piece of advice I ever got about poetry was
> that a poem is never really /done/.
Actually, I contend that Ezra Pound's "In a Station of the Metro" is a
perfect poem. ;-)
I mean, the poem started off as a whole bunch of pages of verse, and he just
kept removing and boiling it down more and more and more and more until only
the absolutely vital lines remained:
"The apparition of these faces in the crowd
Petals on a wet, black bough"
I can't imagine anything that could be done to improve this poem. The
title, imagery, mood, symbolism, language, cadence, etc... are all exactly
right. (But anyway, I agree with your basic point. I'm just being a bit of
a twit. ;-) )
--
Warren Forest, Canis Lupus Arctos - The Canadian Arctic Wolf
FCW3a A- C D++ H+ M- P+ R+ T++++ W Z- Sm#
RLET a31 c++ d-- e+ f h+ i+ j p- sm#
Change "Cold" to "Hot" to e-mail me.
Warren Forest
news:bahal5$hjf$1...@slb3.atl.mindspring.net...
> The weather will improve. Sunny and warm breezes. Time to brush off
> the
> pic-a-nic tables and fire up the grills and fireplaces. I'll crank up
> a fresh can of Nutella Heaven ice cream while Lana gets her brushes
> and scented fur conditioner. We'll lay in the bright, warm sun.
Hmmm.... knowing the Lioness like I do, I think you might want to change
this to read:
> The weather will improve. Overcast and cool breezes. Time to brush off
> the
> pic-a-nic tables and fire up the grills and ice-cube makers. I'll crank up
> a fresh can of Nutella Heaven ice cream while Lana gets her brushes
> and scented fur conditioner. We'll lay in front of the air-conditioner.
;-)
Kamau
> AL major hugs an' snuggles be a good start? We definately could use
> some cheering up around here and you remind us that we do have an
> obligation to our community.
>
Belle and I will certainly join in the outing planed for later. I can't see
how that poem could have been ignored. AL you're part of us here and you
know you can always come here for love and support.
--
Kamau }{For a Lion Pride is a strength not a weakness}{
& Belle -:(Without a Lioness a lion has no pride):-
plus Dan and Lina ( >ö< >ë< )
FFL6ac A- C+ Dm++ H+ M P++ R+ T+++ W Z Sm# RLCT/GP a++ cn++ d e+++ f++h-i+j-
p* sm#
Loganberry
May 2003:
> ok, I wrote this a few days ago and posted it to my livejournal,
> but I guess I bitch entirely too much so no one's paying any
> attention to me. and I want someone to pay attention to me dammit!
> so pay attention to me. praise me. pet me. stroke me. brush
> me with my pink kitty brush and make me purr. because my life
> sucks and I'm in too much pain right now. and I want to die. and
> I want to be happy. start doing your job and make me happy
> already. :P
You know something? The second half of the above is a rather good
poem on its own. And no, I'm not being funny: I mean it. But now
Rabbit's finished with it, *brushes you with pink kitty brush in his
usual rather clumsy way*
> it's nowhere near perfect, but it's one of those where it isn't
> intended to be perfect anyway. so it'll never be perfect. just
> my emotions at the time. that's all.
Which is all that matters, really. *hugs*
I think I agree with Rabbit (that may be a first...) - although this
is very sad on the surface, I don't think it comes across as hopeless
inside. Obviously, I'm just reading words on a screen, so can only go
on what I see here, but the fact that you've spent the time writing
this, and the comments about wanting attention (dammit!) make all the
difference between hopelessness and hope.
--
Remove all the drivel to reply. "Laythi kasrahalt, a vatal kasrahil"
("Be cunning, and full of tricks")
FurCode: FLR5aw A C- D H+ M P++ R+ T++ W Z Sm# RLAT a cln++ d e++ f+
h- iwf+++ j* p- sm#
Arathea
sorry, I don't have pink*
>If only I were Catholic.
>If only I were thin.
>If only I could try
>To forgive my father for his sin.
If only I followed orders well
and was wormy and underfed
if only I could be forgetful
and let go of pains within
>If only I could bare children.
>Ha! And only if I would!
>If only I were pretty.
>Then maybe I'd be good.
If only I could bear screaming monsters
to torment me all my days
if only I fit into a catalogue
then maybe I'd mend my ways.
>If only I'd wear make up
>And tiny strappy shoes.
>If only I would drink more, drink less,
>And eat the foods I should.
if only I'd wear greasepaint
and permanently injure my feet
if only I would conform
and eat rabbit food
>If only I got rid of the cats.
>If only I lost weight.
>If only I were smarter
>And had a proper mate.
if only I got rid of the best friends I have
and lost my womanly curves
if only I knew what everyone thinks I should know
and bowed to someone who knows less.
>If only I'd go back to school
>or wear some fancy dress.
>If only I'd listen to you
>My life wouldn't be a mess.
if only I'd follow the crowd
and wear torture devices to make myself look "good"
if only I'd bow to someone
my life wouldn't be so unique.
>If only I got rid of my toys.
>If only I'd grow up.
>If only I would get a job
>and buy a car or truck.
If only I would grow up
and get really really boring
if only I had more money
to spend on things I don't need.
>If only you would listen.
>If only you could understand.
>If only you'd help out a bit
>I wouldn't want my life to end.
if only you would hear
if only you could understand
if only you would see I try to help
in the only way I can
>I hate this broken body.
>Please let my spirit fly.
>I'm so tired of the pain.
>Please, God, just let me die.
I love this ratty old flesh
these tired old aching bones
for in between the pain of living
comes moments so good you could cry.
<tight hugs> don't be upset.... just had to reply.
Elizabeth A. Johnson
Warren Forest wrote:
> Hmmm.... knowing the Lioness like I do, I think you might want to change
> this to read:
>
> > The weather will improve. Overcast and cool breezes. Time to brush off
> > the
> > pic-a-nic tables and fire up the grills and ice-cube makers. I'll crank up
> > a fresh can of Nutella Heaven ice cream while Lana gets her brushes
> > and scented fur conditioner. We'll lay in front of the air-conditioner.
*sets up a tent in front of the a/c* oh baby you know what I like! ;)
I should've been born a snowmeow.
Elizabeth A. Johnson
Farlo wrote:
> "Skytech" <sky...@ix.netcom.com> wrote:
> > Oh what else can we do?
>
> Barbecue?
FurBQ? :)
Yak
"Warren Forest" <warren...@coldmail.com> wrote in message
news:bai6lg$2a5$1...@raccoon.fur.com...
> "Skytech" <sky...@ix.netcom.com> wrote in message
> news:bahal5$hjf$1...@slb3.atl.mindspring.net...
> > The weather will improve. Sunny and warm breezes. Time to brush off
> > the
> > pic-a-nic tables and fire up the grills and fireplaces. I'll crank up
> > a fresh can of Nutella Heaven ice cream while Lana gets her brushes
> > and scented fur conditioner. We'll lay in the bright, warm sun.
>
> Hmmm.... knowing the Lioness like I do, I think you might want to change
> this to read:
>
>
> > The weather will improve. Overcast and cool breezes. Time to brush off
> > the
> > pic-a-nic tables and fire up the grills and ice-cube makers. I'll crank
up
> > a fresh can of Nutella Heaven ice cream while Lana gets her brushes
> > and scented fur conditioner. We'll lay in front of the air-conditioner.
>
> ;-)
Heh, you guys should *so* live in Wales. It's been moist and overcast for a
few weeks now, although I still love it because eveything is so green and
lush... and I lived in California once, and remember coding near-naked in
front of a fan necessary just to maintain a reasonably functional core
temperature.
Goat, I love Wales :).
\
(:-) - Yak
/
Dexter
>From: "Elizabeth A. Johnson" lizo...@worldnet.att.net
>Date: 5/21/2003 4:01 PM Pacific Daylight Time
>Message-id: <3ECC0531...@worldnet.att.net>
If you did the things you should've
Regrets aren't few or far between
But they're things you still would have
Perfection is a shadow's mote
In the corner of your eye
You strive for it with all your breath
And then, of course, you die
We're happy with the things you've done
And who you are right now
For your past brought you to our lives
And for that please take a bow
You can still change, but please don't leave
And give up all you've got
Your eyes unseen make my heart smile
And to me, that means a lot.
-Dexter Fox
Delve
<<> > Oh what else can we do?
>
> Barbecue?
FurBQ? :)>>
Mmm... beaniebabyback ribs.
------------------
Delve Countdown : living on a razor's edge
[ http://delve.deviantart.com ]
FDD[Krros]3adr/CCp5s A++ C*>++ D+ H M P- R++ T+++ W Z- S-/p++ RL- a18 c++ d?
e>++ f++++ h* iwf++ j+ p+ sx-
Warren Forest
news:xheza.230006$YZ.3...@news.easynews.com...
> Heh, you guys should *so* live in Wales. It's been moist and overcast for
a
> few weeks now, although I still love it because eveything is so green and
> lush... and I lived in California once, and remember coding near-naked in
> front of a fan necessary just to maintain a reasonably functional core
> temperature.
I went to the UK once when I was a kid. I remember a lot of rain and mist.
Just like home, actually. ;-)
> Goat, I love Wales :).
Heh... Wales gets about 910mm precipitation annually, while Vancouver gets
about 1100mm. Rain is good. I think blazing hot sunlight all the time is
highly over-rated.
There are, however, places on the coastline here that get 5000mm a year.
That's just insane!
Elizabeth A. Johnson
Yak wrote:
hey. I'd love to visit! you could even charter me a jet RIGHT NOW! I am
soooo tired of this 100F+ weather we've been having lately. and you owe me a
par-tay! ;)
Elizabeth A. Johnson
Kamau wrote:
> "Skytech" <sky...@ix.netcom.com> wrote in message
> news:bahal5$hjf$1...@slb3.atl.mindspring.net...
> > Aaaaw... Will a couple of bouncey kits who need to give their Auntie
> > AL major hugs an' snuggles be a good start? We definately could use
> > some cheering up around here and you remind us that we do have an
> > obligation to our community.
> >
> A couple of cubs join their kit friends in giving AL a major hug session.
gentle gentle. or I'll have to retreat into my maggoty space. remember, I'm
getting old in my young age...
> Belle and I will certainly join in the outing planed for later. I can't see
> how that poem could have been ignored. AL you're part of us here and you
> know you can always come here for love and support.
eh, everyone is tired of me bitching about life. here, on livejournal, and
elsewhere. I thought once I had my livejournal I could dump all my crap in
there and leave the happy delusional times for alf. well, I'm being ignored on
livejournal and I'm in too much pain to be happy and delusional lately. So I
get no attention at all and since this is the entirety of my life at the
moment, as I'm physically unable to leave my apartment, I'm getting bored and
lonely.
Warren Forest
news:3ECDBE97...@worldnet.att.net...
> eh, everyone is tired of me bitching about life. here, on livejournal,
and
> elsewhere. I thought once I had my livejournal I could dump all my crap
in
> there and leave the happy delusional times for alf. well, I'm being
ignored on
> livejournal and I'm in too much pain to be happy and delusional lately.
So I
> get no attention at all and since this is the entirety of my life at the
> moment, as I'm physically unable to leave my apartment, I'm getting bored
and
> lonely.
Nah, I'll *never* get tired of you bitching about life, no matter how big
the phone bills get. Bitching is what life is all about! Hey, it's better
than "*grumble* *grumble* damn government, taxes... *mutter* *mutter* and
pro athletes are overpaid... etc... etc..." which is what most people do
with their lives. ;-)
Kamau
news:3ECDBE97...@worldnet.att.net...
I'm
> getting old in my young age...
>
mostly into snuggle mode (they wear themselves out in early AM).
> eh, everyone is tired of me bitching about life. here, on livejournal,
and
>
Don't worry about it. You got to say what you feel. Besides I love some of
the zinger you toss out at folks from time to time.
Kamau
Wolfie
news:3ECDBCA2...@worldnet.att.net:
> hey. I'd love to visit! you could even charter me a jet RIGHT
> NOW! I am soooo tired of this 100F+ weather we've been having
> lately. and you owe me a par-tay! ;)
You can come here. Its been overcast-ish, in the 50s and 60s. I'd
love to have the 100F weather. I'm only in ohio!!!
--
Fur Code: FCW5a/DD4sw A+ C- D>+ H++ M P+++ R+ T+++ W>*** Z Sf#
RLBM>LW a21 cn++ d e+>+++ f++++ h+ i+ j+ p+ sf#
Dragon Code: DC2.Dw+e~ Gf L6f2a3l1.5n2t12w W-- T200l Pw Sks,wl
Cag%++>~ Bst/fl A- Fr^ Nn M--- O H+ $---! Fo+ R++ Ac++ J+ S U+ I# V++
Q+ Tc+ E++
Skytech
> Heh, you guys should *so* live in Wales. It's been moist and
overcast for a
> few weeks now, although I still love it because eveything is so
green and
> lush...
>
I swear you're talking about the Mid-Atlantic states! It's been
continuously
wet and cold for weeks. Weirded still, we below rainfall levels for
May in my area!
--
La gvatanta vulpo (The vigilant fox)
Skytech
^^
<oo>
.
Skytech
Auntie
> > > AL major hugs an' snuggles be a good start? We definately could
use
> > > some cheering up around here and you remind us that we do have
an
> > > obligation to our community.
> > >
> > A couple of cubs join their kit friends in giving AL a major hug
session.
>
> gentle gentle. or I'll have to retreat into my maggoty space.
remember, I'm
> getting old in my young age...
>
And we get older in our youth in our later years... I'm fifteen and
live life as a matured teen. The Other Guy is close to the half
century mark with all the aches, pains, and ailments that go with it.
*We* prefer to live the Homestead life so the Real World is more
tolerable. Good therapy...
--
La gvatanta vulpo (The vigilant fox)
Skytech
^^
<@@>
.]
Elizabeth A. Johnson
Skytech wrote:
I wish I could be delusional like you, but it would take heavy doses of
morphine. this is why I try and leave my crap in my livejournal. oh
well. maybe I should just go somewhere else so I don't disturb your
happy homestead life anymore.
Nightwind
>
> ok, I wrote this a few days ago and posted it to my livejournal, but I
> guess I bitch entirely too much so no one's paying any attention to me.
> and I want someone to pay attention to me dammit! so pay attention to
> me. praise me. pet me. stroke me. brush me with my pink kitty brush
> and make me purr. because my life sucks and I'm in too much pain right
> now. and I want to die. and I want to be happy. start doing your job
> and make me happy already. :P
*dons the chainmail, dons the plate gunatlets, apporaches with kitty
brush*
Are you sure youwoln't maim me if i try to use this thing?
--
Nightwind
"The wind has no destination"
Aim Nightwnd90
Icq 23044454
Sci (Peter)
>
> I wish I could be delusional like you, but it would take heavy doses of
> morphine. this is why I try and leave my crap in my livejournal. oh
> well. maybe I should just go somewhere else so I don't disturb your
> happy homestead life anymore.
Didn't even realise you had a LJ. Where's it at?
Sci - unlurking today
Sci (Peter)
> start doing your job and make me happy already. :P
Well, noone can ever deny you're a kittycat, huh? =)
> it's nowhere near perfect, but it's one of those where it isn't intended
> to be perfect anyway. so it'll never be perfect. just my emotions at
> the time. that's all.
Emotional poetry is allways good, especialy for the person writing it.
Of course, it's a bonus when it's good for others to read too. <=)
Sci -- also in the midst of shite times
Elizabeth A. Johnson
"Sci (Peter)" wrote:
> "Elizabeth A. Johnson" <lizo...@worldnet.att.net> wrote in message
> news:3ECED1FC...@worldnet.att.net...
> >
> > I wish I could be delusional like you, but it would take heavy doses of
> > morphine. this is why I try and leave my crap in my livejournal. oh
> > well. maybe I should just go somewhere else so I don't disturb your
> > happy homestead life anymore.
erf. sorry Sky. that sounded rather acerbic didn't it? ...must remember
not to post to alf when I'm high on painkillers. yes, you _can_ overdose on
tylenol! wee!
I just get so tired of, what looks to me to be, happy go lucky bullshit. I
can understand the need to get away from life. escape to a place where
you're loved and all that. but it feels so fake. role play, fantasy,
whatever... when it comes right down to it, it really doesn't matter. I
can be a lion on the newsgroup, sure, but the fur coat is still blotchy with
scars and wounds. There are some days where it's well enough that the pain
becomes like background noise. or even therapeutic. kind of like when I
turn on the tv so I don't hear the ringing in my ears. it becomes
background noise, but it covers up for something else. And I can feel the
pain and I can snarl and I can curse everyone whose ever held me back and
yell at the world that I'm still alive. And then there are days where I
rather not even get out of bed. It hurts to move, it hurts to be awake, it
hurts to do anything. And all I can do is pray for death because it feels
like the pain will never stop. And I'm sorry.
> Didn't even realise you had a LJ. Where's it at?
on livejournal :) heeeeee
http://www.livejournal.com/users/avenginglioness
updated sporadically.
Delve
<<yes, you _can_ overdose on
tylenol! wee!>>
::flinches:: Yes, you can. And it's fatal. I'm not kidding when I say I won't
touch that shit. It's nothing short of wholesale slaughter for your liver.