Urdu shaa'irii meiN takraar-e-lafzii ........... I
Raj Kumar
jab aap kisi she'r se Khusoosi taur se mut'assir hote haiN to us ki
kayee vajaheN hoti haiN --- she'r ka mazmoon, she'r ki tashkeel,
alfaaz ka inteKhaab, misroN ka baahami rabt, vGh, vGh. in ausaaf meiN
aek vasf jo ajeeb-o-GHareeb talismaat kaa haamil hota hai, voh hai
alfaaz ki takraar. agar Theek DhaNg se ki jaaye to yeh takraar she'r
ka ma'ani ko vasee' se vasee'-tar kar deti hai aur she'r ke asar ko
baalaa se baalaa-tar! yooN to yeh vasf nasr meiN bhi utnaa hi pur-asar
hota hai jitna nazm meiN --- magar jab is meiN husn-e-taGhazzul ki
aamezish ho jaaye to kyaa hi kehne!
takraar-lafzii kisi she'r ko kis nau'iiyat ki vus'at deti hai yeh is
baat par munhasir hai k lafz-e-mukarrar 'noun' hai yaa 'verb', yaa
phir 'adjective' hai yaa 'adverb'. muKhtalif sooratoN meiN asar
muKhtalif hota hai --- aur yeh Khaas 'note' karne vaali baat hai!
ba-jaaye is ke k maiN is baat ki vazaahat abhi karooN, behtar hai k
yeh kaam *ruk ruk kar* qist-vaar kiyaa jaaye!
aek savaal fauran zehn meiN ubhartaa hai, voh yeh k takraar-e-lafzii
ka sarmaaya Urdu ko kahaaN se milaa? Faarsi se yaa Hindi se! albatta,
dekhne meiN aata hai k Faarsi zabaan meiN takraar ka ist'emaal bahut
*kam kam* hai jab-k Hindi meiN bahut ziyaada hai! aek taraf yaqeenan
gul-haa-e-*raNg raNg* aur *kaav-e kaav-e* ka zikr hai magar doosri
taraf to takraar ki bharmaar hai. jahaaN tak mujhe yaad hai, sab se
pehle is baat ne mujhe tab 'strike' kiyaa thaa jab maiN ne Meeraa-ji
ki aek nazm Lahore ke risaale Adabii Duniyaa (~1945) meiN paRhii thii;
us nazm ki 'opening line' thi:
*meeThaa meeThaa* dard mire dil meiN jaagaa!
maiN ne is baat ko shiddat se mehsoos kiyaa k jo baat "meeThaa meeThaa
dard" meiN hai, voh sirf "meeThaa dard" kehne se naheeN banti! aur
phir jab Ghaur kiyaa to zehn meiN takraar-e-lafzii ki kayee misaaleN
ubhreeN, jaise kaale kaale baadal, oodii-oodii badaliyaaN, bheegaa
bheegaa maaausim, harii harii chooRiyaaN, TootTa TooTaa gajraa,
pheekaa pheekaa kajraa --- yaa phir, chup chup rehnaa, machal machal
jaana, akaR akaR kar chalnaa, khil khil kar haNsnaa, jhoom jhoom kar
naachnaa, maare maare phirnaa --- . in misaaloN se mujhe yooN lagta
hai k takraar-e-lafzii ka vasf Urdu shaa'iri meiN (ziyaada-tar) Hindi
hi ki jaanib se aayaa hai. agar ko'ii saahib is baat par mazeed
raushanii Daal sakeN to navaazish hogi!
is muKhtasar si tamheed ke ba'ad, maiN aaj aap ko kuchh aise ash'aar
se roo-shinaas karaanaa chaahooN ga jin meiN lafz-e-mukarrar 'noun'
hai. is soorat meiN, takraar-e-lafzii umooman 'vaihdat' ko 'kasrat' se
badal deti hai --- magar asar kuchh aisa hota hai jo faqat vaahid ko
jam'a se badal dene se naheeN ho sakta! maslan, "tire hi dam se hu'ii
shaihr shaihr rusvaa'ii" meiN jo baat *shaihr shaihr" se paidaa hu'ii
hai --- meaning, "har shaihr meiN" ---, voh baat "shaihroN meiN" kehne
se hargiz paidaa naheeN hoti! phir bhi aap dekheN ge k sabhii jagah
takraar ke ma'ani yihi naheeN hote, kuchh aur bhi ho sakte haiN ---
aur yeh imkaan is vasf ka aek aham pehloo hai!
to, leejiye, shuroo' karte haiN kuchh aise ash'aar se jin meiN takraar
ke ma'ani vaise hi haiN jaise k abhi abhi kahe gaye haiN. paRhiye aur
lutf uThaaiye:
1. tu *shaaKh shaaKh* pe baiThaa hai phool kii soorat
maiN *Khaar Khaar* se uljhooN to tujh se baat karooN!
2. tiri aaNkh kaa jo Khumaar thaa, mire *rom rom* meiN bas gayaa
tire roop kaa jo nikhaar thaa, mire *aNg aNg* ko dho gayaa!
ab, dekhiye, takraar ke ma'ani zaraa badalne lagte haiN:
3. *bastii bastii* *jaNgal jaNgal* *vaadii vaadii* *saihraa saihraa*
ko'i mile jo hameN bataaye, ishq kahaaN kii Khaak na chhaane!!!
4. ko'i meri aNkh se dekhtaa tiri bazm-e-naaz kii vus'ateN
voh har aek gosha *makaaN makaaN*, voh har aek lamha *zaman zaman*!
is she'r meiN, "makaaN makaaN" ke ma'ani "har makaaN" ke naheeN haiN
--- kuchh aur hi haiN! aur kyaa kehne "zaman zaman" ke!
5. dil ko paayaa naheeN *maNziloN maNziloN*
ham pukaar aaye haiN *kaarvaaN kaarvaaN*!!!
yahaaN takraar ke ma'ani kuchh aise haiN --- from maNzil to maNzil,
from kaarvaaN to kaarvaaN! kuchh aisa hi raNg agle she'r meiN bhi hai:
6. umr-e-tajassus *dariyaa dariyaa*
maqsad-e-hastii *saNgam saNgam*!!!
ab baat ka ruKh kisi aur hi jaanib muRta hai. voh ruKh kyaa hai, aap
Khud hi mulaahiza farmaaiye:
7. *baadal baadal*, *bijlii bijlii*
*baada-gasaaraaN! baada-gasaaraaN!!*
yahaaN aek riNd, mausim ka taqaaze se, doosre riNdoN ko aavaaz de
rahaa hai!
[yeh AKELA she'r Adabii Duniyaa ke aek shumaare meiN POORE safhe par
chhapaa thaa!]
kuchh aisii hi baat agle do ash'aar meiN bhi hai:
8. har taraf shor hai, *sahaab sahaab*
*saaqiyaa! saaqiyya!!* *sharaab sharaab*
9. riNd baKhshe gaye qayaamat meiN
shaiKh kehtaa rahaa, *hisaab hisaab*!
ab, Khudaa-e-suKhan ke haathoN, takraar aek aur hi roop dhaaran karti
hai; farmaate haiN k
10. kartaa hai *chhed chhed* hamaaraa jigar tamaam
voh dekhnaa tiraa nig'h-e-neem-baaz se!!!
yahaaN "chhed chhed" ke ma'ani kuchh aise haiN jaise "jagah jagah
chhed" --- with the result that we see there nothing but holes!
aur ab aek mash_hoor nazm ka yeh misra dekhiye; yahaaN shaa'ir ne "do
hafte ki mutavaatar jhaRii" ko kaise bayaan kiyaa hai. farmaate haiN k
11. paNdhara roz huye paani ko *maNgal maNgal*!!!
ab dekhiye, agle do ash'aar meiN takraar kyaa gul khilaati hai:
12. naa-Khudaa ko Khudaa kahaa hai to phir
Doob jaao, *Khudaa Khudaa* na karo!
13. voh jo abhi is raah-guzar se chaak-girebaaN guzraa hai
us aavaaraa deevaane ko *Jaalib Jaalib* kehte haiN!!!
aur ab zaraa yeh she'r dekhiye:
14. phool khile haiN *gulshan gulshan*
lekin *apnaa apnaa* daaman!
yahaaN 'noun' ki takraar to ma'amooli hai magar 'adjective' ki takraar
ka raNg bahut digar hai --- is vasf ka mufassil zikr agli qist meiN
hoga!
ab, aaKHir meiN, aek mash_hoor she'r darj hai jis meiN lafz-e-mukarrar
'pronoun' hai; she'r hai
15. *kis kis* ko bataayeN ge judaa'ii ka sabab ham?
tuu mujh se Khafaa hai to zamaane ke liye aa!
aap dekheN ge k lafz 'kis' ki takraar ne mazmoon ko kyaa vus'at dii
hai aur kyaa asar paidaa kiyaa hai! yeh alag baat k aek achchhe bhale
she'r ko shutur-gurba ke aib ne Kharaab kar rakkha hai. :-((
to, huzoor, yeh rahi is mazmoon ki pehli qist. agli qist meiN, ham
kuchh aise ash'aar ka lutf leN ge jin meiN lafz-e-mukarrar 'adjective'
hoga. tab tak ke liye ijaazat!
Khair-aNdesh, Raj Kumar
kaamraan
> yaaraan-e-ALUP:
>
(snip)
Liked most of your ashaars ...
> to, huzoor, yeh rahi is mazmoon ki pehli qist. agli qist meiN, ham
> kuchh aise ash'aar ka lutf leN ge jin meiN lafz-e-mukarrar 'adjective'
> hoga. tab tak ke liye ijaazat!
>
Any prize for guessing shers that might be included in your next
installment ? I am willing to bet I can guess atleast one (wink
wink). Don't want to ruin it for other ALUPers, but us meiN 'saath
chalnewaali' baat zaruur hOgii :-)
> Khair-aNdesh, Raj Kumar
Roshan Kamath
[snip]
> 1. tu *shaaKh shaaKh* pe baiThaa hai phool kii soorat
> maiN *Khaar Khaar* se uljhooN to tujh se baat karooN!
Reminded me of
voH *KhAr KhAr* hae ShAKh-E gulAb kI mAnand
mae.n *zaKhm zaKhm* hu.n pHir bHI galE lagA'u.n usE
[- farAz (karU.n na yAd magar ...) ]
Eagerly awaiting the posts to follow in this series,
rosh
Raj Kumar
> >
>
> (snip)
>
> Liked most of your ashaars ...
>
> > to, huzoor, yeh rahi is mazmoon ki pehli qist. agli qist meiN, ham
> > kuchh aise ash'aar ka lutf leN ge jin meiN lafz-e-mukarrar 'adjective'
> > hoga. tab tak ke liye ijaazat!
> >
>
> Any prize for guessing shers that might be included in your next
> installment ? I am willing to bet I can guess atleast one (wink
> wink). Don't want to ruin it for other ALUPers, but us meiN 'saath
> chalnewaali' baat zaruur hOgii :-)
>
Kaamraan Saahib:
ash'aar pasaNd farmaane ke liye aap ka bahut bahut shukriya, albatta
yeh "betting" vaali baat zaraa TeRhii si hai kyooN-k yeh tai karna
bahut mushkil hai k agar aap jeet gaye to aap ka in'aam kyaa hoga aur
agar aap haar gaye to aap ki sazaa kyaa hogi! agar aap yeh baat tai
kar sakeN to aur baat hai!!! :-))
mere Khayaal meiN, behtar yihi hai k aap, apni jagah, aek 'guess list'
banaa leN aur agar meri fehrist meiN aap ka sochaa hu'aa ko'ii she'r
aa Tapke to mujhe bataa deN. That itself would be fun enough!
Speaking of that, did my choice of ash'aar for qist #1 contain any
that you had guessed --- if at all? More interestingly, of the 15
ash'aar that I quoted there, how many were new to you?
Finally, please note an important correction --- the word ash'aar
itself is the plural of the word she'r, so it doesn't need the extra
's' you often put!
Khair-aNdesh, Raj Kumar
P.S. aaj pehli baar aisa hu'aa hai k aap ne apne Khat ke aaKhir meiN
ko'ii taRakta-phaRakta she'r naheeN likkhaa. shaa'id aap ko mere
'quote-karda' ash'aar ke paaye ka ko'ii she'r soojh naheeN paayaa!
LOL
R.K.
Vijay Kumar
Raj Sahib: Greetings from a corner in Wales where there are more sheep
than people!
"go maiN raha rahiin-e-sitam-haa-e-rozgaar
lekin tere Khyall se ghafil nahiiN raha"
aap kaa mazmoon paRha aur hamesha kii tarah Khoob lut'f aNdoz huua.
aap ke 'haafize kii jhiil' kii daad to maiN pehle hii aik do baar de
chuka huuN. takraaar-e-lafzii kii misaal ka aik qitaa mujhe kisii
zamaane meN puura yaad hota thaa lekin ab us ke sirf tiin misre hii
yaad rahe haiN. aap kisii tarah se uska doosra misra kahiiN se dhuuNd
nikaaleN to maiN to aap kaa bohat abhaarii huuNga hii, yaqiinan, aur
alupers bhii is se lut'f aNdoz hoNge. q'taa kuchh yuuN hai:
saaqiia, saaqiia, saaqiia
(missing line)
mai na de, mai na de, mai na de
ik naz'r, ik naz'r, (bas) ik naz'r
>
> 15. *kis kis* ko bataayeN ge judaa'ii ka sabab ham?
> tuu mujh se Khafaa hai to zamaane ke liye aa!
>
yeh she'r, meri haqiir raae meN, shutur-gurba naqas ka shikar nahiiN
hai. mere Khyaal meN, pehle misre ka 'ham' royal pronoun nahiiN hai.
is se muraad hai ham donoN, yaani tuu aur maiN. keh tuu aur maiN kis
kis ko apni judaaii ka sabab bateNge. aap dekheN keh is se kis kis kii
takraar aur bhii khil uthii hai. (tu kis ko aur maiN kis ko).
aap kii agli qistoN ka intezaar rahegaa aur mauqa milaa to maiN
jawaaban kucch likhuuNga bhii.
Regards,
Vijay Kumar
UVR
Raj Kumar saahib:
'bahut bahut shukriya' yeh mazmoon post karne kaa! waise
is fiqre -- bahut bahut shukriya -- par hamaare azeez dost
shree Jasho ji sb ne apni "dhauNs-vauNs" jamaa lee hai! :))
[NB: Jasho-ji, no offence meant AT ALL!]
kitne behtareen-behtareen sh'er muntaKhib kiye haiN aap ne
is mazmoon meN, RK sb. waah waah! baar-baar inheN paRhne
kaa jee huaa, aur paRh-paRh kar baar-baar maiN ne kyaa-kyaa
lutf uThaaye! dhanyavaad, dhanyavaad :))
maiN pehle bhi kah chukaa hooN k aap ke mazaameen se (kam-
az-kam mujhe to) naye-naye sh'er bahut se mil jaate haiN.
is dafa' bhi aisaa hi huaa, albatta jo sh'er mujhe sab se
ziyaada pasand aaye, woh wohi the jo pehle sun rakhe the,
yaa sune-sune se the -- Khaas taur se 12-through-15. ab
to "aagaamii" aqsaat kaa aur bhi besabri se intizaar rahegaa
kyoN k ummeed hai ziyaadahtar sh'er (mere liye) naye hoNge.
chalte-chalte, ek baat aur. aap farmaate haiN:
>
> ab, aaKHir meiN, aek mash_hoor she'r darj hai jis meiN lafz-e-mukarrar
> 'pronoun' hai; she'r hai
>
> 15. *kis kis* ko bataayeN ge judaa'ii ka sabab ham?
> tuu mujh se Khafaa hai to zamaane ke liye aa!
>
> aap dekheN ge k lafz 'kis' ki takraar ne mazmoon ko kyaa vus'at dii
> hai aur kyaa asar paidaa kiyaa hai! yeh alag baat k aek achchhe bhale
> she'r ko shutur-gurba ke aib ne Kharaab kar rakkha hai. :-((
"shutur-gurba" se yaqeenan aap kaa ishaara pehle misr'e ke
'ham' aur doosre ke 'mujh se' se muta'alliq hai. meri naa-
cheez raaye meN yahaaN koi camel-cat waala aib naheeN hai.
pehle misr'e kaa 'ham' collective pronoun hai, na k 'royal'
pronoun. aur 'judaa`ii' se bhi muraad yahaaN us "mutual
separation" se hai jis ke, shaa'ir aur us kaa mahboob, donoN
hi shikaar hai, na k "one sided hijr" se. zamaane waale to
donoN hii ke zaKhm ko kuredne kii koshish kareNge, baar-baar
wahi tazkira chheR kar, judaa`ii kii wajh poochh-poochh kar ...
Khair ...
agli qist tak dil thaam-thaam ke baiThooNgaa ...
mKhls,
-UVR.
kaamraan
> > >
> >
> > (snip)
> >
> > Liked most of your ashaars ...
> >
> > > to, huzoor, yeh rahi is mazmoon ki pehli qist. agli qist meiN, ham
> > > kuchh aise ash'aar ka lutf leN ge jin meiN lafz-e-mukarrar 'adjective'
> > > hoga. tab tak ke liye ijaazat!
> > >
> >
> > Any prize for guessing shers that might be included in your next
> > installment ? I am willing to bet I can guess atleast one (wink
> > wink). Don't want to ruin it for other ALUPers, but us meiN 'saath
> > chalnewaali' baat zaruur hOgii :-)
> >
>
> Kaamraan Saahib:
>
> ash'aar pasaNd farmaane ke liye aap ka bahut bahut shukriya, albatta
> yeh "betting" vaali baat zaraa TeRhii si hai kyooN-k yeh tai karna
> bahut mushkil hai k agar aap jeet gaye to aap ka in'aam kyaa hoga aur
> agar aap haar gaye to aap ki sazaa kyaa hogi! agar aap yeh baat tai
> kar sakeN to aur baat hai!!! :-))
>
I am tempted to take this challenge up, but ...
> mere Khayaal meiN, behtar yihi hai k aap, apni jagah, aek 'guess list'
> banaa leN aur agar meri fehrist meiN aap ka sochaa hu'aa ko'ii she'r
> aa Tapke to mujhe bataa deN. That itself would be fun enough!
>
Yes. Let us do that.
> Speaking of that, did my choice of ash'aar for qist #1 contain any
> that you had guessed --- if at all? More interestingly, of the 15
> ash'aar that I quoted there, how many were new to you?
>
Hmm ... I knew #s 1, 14 and ofcourse 15, the rest were new. I believe
you yourself might have quoted 1 and 14 in one of your earlier posts
and they ended up in my 'favorites' folder :-)
> Finally, please note an important correction --- the word ash'aar
> itself is the plural of the word she'r, so it doesn't need the extra
> 's' you often put!
>
Don't mean to give excuses, but I knew Dat. It was just the
combination of english and Urdu words in that sentence that mad me say
'ashaars'. Will be more careful from here on.
> Khair-aNdesh, Raj Kumar
>
> P.S. aaj pehli baar aisa hu'aa hai k aap ne apne Khat ke aaKhir meiN
> ko'ii taRakta-phaRakta she'r naheeN likkhaa. shaa'id aap ko mere
> 'quote-karda' ash'aar ke paaye ka ko'ii she'r soojh naheeN paayaa!
> LOL
> R.K.
I was quite excited about my 'guess list' and I forgot my signature
sher, didn't I ?
This one you might like.
is ishq ke himmat ke maiN sadqe hooN ke 'Begum'
har waqt mujhe marne pe tayyaar to rakhaa !!!
('Begum' here, I was told, was Mir's daughter's takhallus ?)
kaamraan
Raj Kumar
>
> > 1. tu *shaaKh shaaKh* pe baiThaa hai phool kii soorat
> > maiN *Khaar Khaar* se uljhooN to tujh se baat karooN!
>
> Reminded me of
>
> voH *KhAr KhAr* hae ShAKh-E gulAb kI mAnand
> mae.n *zaKhm zaKhm* hu.n pHir bHI galE lagA'u.n usE
> [- farAz (karU.n na yAd magar ...) ]
>
Roshan Saahib:
mere she'r #1 se Faraaz ke is mash_hoor-o-ma'aroof she'r ka yaad aa
jaana aek fitrii baat hai. jab maiN yeh qist taiyaar kar rahaa thaa
to, aur bahut se ash'aar ke saath saath, yeh she'r bhi mere saamne
thaa. albatta, maiN ne ise apni fehrist meiN 'include' naheeN kiyaa
bal-k is ki bajaaye (Meer ke) she'r #10 ko is par fauqiyat dii! is
amal ki vajah bhi sun leejiye.
aap (aur jumla as_haab) 'note' kareN k agarche she'r #1 aur Faraaz ka
yeh she'r aek jaise alfaaz-e-mukarrar liye huye haiN, phir bhi
takraar-e-lafzii ke asaraat in she'roN meiN aek doosre se bahut
muKhtalif haiN. pehle she'r meiN, shaaKh shaaKh = har shaaKh, aur
Khaar Khaar = har Khaar --- jab-k doosre she'r meiN, Khaar Khaar =
Khaar-aalood, studded with thorns, aur zaKhm zaKhm = zaKhm-aalood,
with wounds all over, etc. goya, Faraaz ke she'r meiN takraar ki
nau'iiyat vuhii hai jo k Meer ke she'r meiN hai:
kartaa hai *chhed chhed* hamaaraa jigar tamaam
----------------------------------------------
ab savaal yeh thaa k maiN in do ash'aar meiN se kaun saa she'r apni
fehrist meiN 'include' karuuN? I could have included both, but I had
to keep in mind the length of the article as well. So, I chose to
include the one that I thought would be new to a larger number of
readers --- a criterion I often go by! [haaN, aisa karte huye, itnaa
Khyaal zaroor rakhtaa hooN k apne "maiyaar-e-inteKhaab" par aaNch na
aane dooN!]
Khair-aNdesh, Raj Kumar
Raj Kumar
>
> Raj Sahib: Greetings from a corner in Wales where there are more sheep
> than people!
>
>
> "go maiN raha rahiin-e-sitam-haa-e-rozgaar
> lekin tere Khyall se ghafil nahiiN raha"
>
vaah, vaah, Vijay Saahib:
aap ka aek muddat ke ba'ad idhar aana aur voh bhi mere mazmoon ki
ba-daulat? vaaqe'ii,
navaa-e-dil ne karishme dikhaaye haiN *kyaa kyaa*
mirii azaaN ne namaazii jagaaye haiN *kyaa kyaa*!
huzoor, maiN *abhii abhii* aap ki "saltanat" se ho kar vaapas lauTaa
hooN. yaqeen jaaniye, vahaaN ki mehfiloN meiN aap ki Ghair-haazirii
bahut khalii!
> aap kaa mazmoon paRha aur hamesha kii tarah Khoob lut'f aNdoz huua.
> aap ke 'haafize kii jhiil' kii daad to maiN pehle hii aik do baar de
> chuka huuN. takraaar-e-lafzii kii misaal ka aik qitaa mujhe kisii
> zamaane meN puura yaad hota thaa lekin ab us ke sirf tiin misre hii
> yaad rahe haiN. aap kisii tarah se uska doosra misra kahiiN se dhuuNd
> nikaaleN to maiN to aap kaa bohat abhaarii huuNga hii, yaqiinan, aur
> alupers bhii is se lut'f aNdoz hoNge. q'taa kuchh yuuN hai:
>
> saaqiia, saaqiia, saaqiia
> (missing line)
> mai na de, mai na de, mai na de
> ik naz'r, ik naz'r, (bas) ik naz'r
>
>
mazmoon ki pasaNdeedagi ke liye aap ka mamnoon hooN, albatta jo qit'a
aap ne pesh kiyaa hai voh mere liye nayaa hai! lagta hai, ise kisi ne
qavvaali ki soorat meiN gaaya hai --- varna, chauthe misre meiN, lafz
(bas) ka maqaam kahaaN thaa? :-))
>
> >
> > 15. *kis kis* ko bataayeN ge judaa'ii ka sabab ham?
> > tuu mujh se Khafaa hai to zamaane ke liye aa!
> >
>
> yeh she'r, meri haqiir raae meN, shutur-gurba naqas ka shikar nahiiN
> hai. mere Khyaal meN, pehle misre ka 'ham' royal pronoun nahiiN hai.
> is se muraad hai ham donoN, yaani tuu aur maiN. keh tuu aur maiN kis
> kis ko apni judaaii ka sabab bateNge. aap dekheN keh is se kis kis kii
> takraar aur bhii khil uthii hai. (tu kis ko aur maiN kis ko).
>
I must say that I have been missing this point all along. What you
have said about the word "ham" in this she'r makes a lot of sense,
though I never realized it on my own. Needless to say, I stand
corrected --- and enlightened! Thanks!!!
Khair-aNdesh, Raj Kumar
Raj Kumar
> Raj Kumar saahib:
>
> 'bahut bahut shukriya' yeh mazmoon post karne kaa! waise
> is fiqre -- bahut bahut shukriya -- par hamaare azeez dost
> shree Jasho ji sb ne apni "dhauNs-vauNs" jamaa lee hai! :))
> [NB: Jasho-ji, no offence meant AT ALL!]
>
huzoor, itni si tarkeeb to Khud maiN bhi bahut barat_ta hooN! Jasho
Saahib ka turra-e-imtiyaaz to voh fiqre haiN jin se voh apne Khat ko
Khatm karte haiN ---
"aaKhir meiN itnee Haseen Ghazal sunaane kaa bahut bahut shukriya. aap
kee aglee Ghazal kaa intezaar rahegaa. With best regards," :-))
> kitne behtareen-behtareen sh'er muntaKhib kiye haiN aap ne
> is mazmoon meN, RK sb. waah waah! baar-baar inheN paRhne
> kaa jee huaa, aur paRh-paRh kar baar-baar maiN ne kyaa-kyaa
> lutf uThaaye! dhanyavaad, dhanyavaad :))
>
> maiN pehle bhi kah chukaa hooN k aap ke mazaameen se (kam-
> az-kam mujhe to) naye-naye sh'er bahut se mil jaate haiN.
> is dafa' bhi aisaa hi huaa, albatta jo sh'er mujhe sab se
> ziyaada pasand aaye, woh wohi the jo pehle sun rakhe the,
> yaa sune-sune se the -- Khaas taur se 12-through-15. ab
> to "aagaamii" aqsaat kaa aur bhi besabri se intizaar rahegaa
> kyoN k ummeed hai ziyaadahtar sh'er (mere liye) naye hoNge.
>
mere is mazmoon par apne ta'assuraat dene ke liye maiN aap ka be-had
mamnoon hooN. jahaaN tak ash'aar ki pasaNdeedagi ki baat hai voh to,
bahut had tak, aek infaraadii amal hai. merii koshish to yihii hoti
hai k baRhiyaa se baRhiyaa ash'aar pesh karooN aur, aisa karte huye,
jaan boojh kar aise ash'aar 'include' kartaa hooN jo beshtar as_haab
ke liye naye hoN --- varna meraa inteKhaab, chaahe kitna hi achchha
kyooN na ho, *baasi baasi* lage ga!
she'r #12-15 to haiN hi aise k in se kisi ko bhi faraar naheeN ho
saktaa. albatta, meri raaye meiN, she'r #4, 5, 7 aur 10 bhi kuchh kam
naheeN haiN!
aap inheN, aek baar phir, ThaNDe dil se paRhiye; ho sakta hai, raaye
badal jaaye! :-))
> >
> > ab, aaKHir meiN, aek mash_hoor she'r darj hai jis meiN lafz-e-mukarrar
> > 'pronoun' hai; she'r hai
> >
> > 15. *kis kis* ko bataayeN ge judaa'ii ka sabab ham?
> > tuu mujh se Khafaa hai to zamaane ke liye aa!
> >
> > aap dekheN ge k lafz 'kis' ki takraar ne mazmoon ko kyaa vus'at dii
> > hai aur kyaa asar paidaa kiyaa hai! yeh alag baat k aek achchhe bhale
> > she'r ko shutur-gurba ke aib ne Kharaab kar rakkha hai. :-((
>
> "shutur-gurba" se yaqeenan aap kaa ishaara pehle misr'e ke
> 'ham' aur doosre ke 'mujh se' se muta'alliq hai. meri naa-
> cheez raaye meN yahaaN koi camel-cat waala aib naheeN hai.
> pehle misr'e kaa 'ham' collective pronoun hai, na k 'royal'
> pronoun. aur 'judaa`ii' se bhi muraad yahaaN us "mutual
> separation" se hai jis ke, shaa'ir aur us kaa mahboob, donoN
> hi shikaar hai, na k "one sided hijr" se. zamaane waale to
> donoN hii ke zaKhm ko kuredne kii koshish kareNge, baar-baar
> wahi tazkira chheR kar, judaa`ii kii wajh poochh-poochh kar ...
> Khair ...
>
maNdarja-baalaa vazaahat ke liye shukriya. ain yihi baat Vijay Kumar
Saahib ne bhi kahi hai aur maiN ne ise fauran tasleem kar liyaa hai.
Looking back, I wonder why I missed this point all along!
Khair-aNdesh, Raj Kumar
Sarvjit Goraya
Namaste!
Many thanks for presenting this gem; I shall await coming instalments.
When I started reading, 'pataa pataa boota boota ....' came to my
mind, but then I thought that ashar like #3 are kind of superset of
this example.
With regards
Sarvjit Goraya
Raj Kumar
Sarvjit Saahib:
aaj to bahut dinoN, bal-k bahut maheenoN, ke ba'ad aap ka idhar aanaa
hu'aa hai. maiN to samjhaa thaa k aap, kisi kaaran, ALUP se
kinaara-kashii kar gaye haiN. ab pataa chalaa hai k agarche aap ALUP
se *door door* rehte haiN phir bhi yahaaN ke qisse-kahaaniyoN ko
*chorii chorii* paRh hi lete haiN! :-))
mujhe yeh jaan kar be-had Khushii hu'ii k aap ko mere mazmoon ki yeh
qist achchhi lagii; ummeed hai k aap ko agli aqsaat bhi pasaNd aayeN
gi. aur jo baat aap ne she'r #3 jaise ash'aar ke baare meiN kahii hai,
maiN us se poori tarah muttafiq hooN. yeh to sabhi log jaante haiN k
Meer ke haaN is mauzoo' par be-shumaar nageene maujood haiN, jaise
*pattaa pattaa booTaa booTaa* ----, vGh, magar vaaqe'a yeh hai k ba'ad
ke sho'raa ne bhi is mu'aamile meiN ko'ii kasar naheeN uThaa rakkhi!
aur meri koshish, aise maqaamaat par, yihi hoti hai k qaare'iin ko,
puraane nageenoN ke saath saath, kuchh *naye naye* javaahar bhi pesh
karooN!
maiN agli qist aaj hi likhne ki koshish karooN ga.
Khair-aNdesh, Raj Kumar
Yashowanto N. Ghosh
pehlee qist dekhee aur bahut pasand aayee---bahut bahut
shukriya!---
rajkum...@hotmail.com (Raj Kumar) wrote in message news:<c10928a.03061...@posting.google.com>...
>
> 4. ko'i meri aNkh se dekhtaa tiri bazm-e-naaz kii vus'ateN
> voh har aek gosha *makaaN makaaN*, voh har aek lamha *zaman zaman*!
>
> is she'r meiN, "makaaN makaaN" ke ma'ani "har makaaN" ke naheeN haiN
> --- kuchh aur hi haiN! aur kyaa kehne "zaman zaman" ke!
>
is Ghazal meiN to takraar e lafzee (isee ma'anee meiN)
ba kasrat istaimaal huaa thaa---jis se Ghazal kaa *voh*
raNg khulaa thaa k...
>
> 7. *baadal baadal*, *bijlii bijlii*
> *baada-gasaaraaN! baada-gasaaraaN!!*
>
> yahaaN aek riNd, mausim ka taqaaze se, doosre riNdoN ko aavaaz de
> rahaa hai!
> [yeh AKELA she'r Adabii Duniyaa ke aek shumaare meiN POORE safhe par
> chhapaa thaa!]
>
BAHUT KHOOB!! yeh she'r kis kaa hai?
>
> 13. voh jo abhi is raah-guzar se chaak-girebaaN guzraa hai
> us aavaaraa deevaane ko *Jaalib Jaalib* kehte haiN!!!
VAAH! mere nazdeek takraar kaa yeh Khaas istaimaal
"Haasil e qist" hai.
>
> aur ab zaraa yeh she'r dekhiye:
>
> 14. phool khile haiN *gulshan gulshan*
> lekin *apnaa apnaa* daaman!
>
> yahaaN 'noun' ki takraar to ma'amooli hai magar 'adjective' ki takraar
> ka raNg bahut digar hai --- is vasf ka mufassil zikr agli qist meiN
> hoga!
>
yeh mere "all-time favourite" ash'aar meiN se hai. aglee qist
kaa be-sabree se intizaar rahegaa!
With best regards,
Jasho.
Yashowanto N. Ghosh
rajkum...@hotmail.com (Raj Kumar) wrote in message news:<c10928a.03061...@posting.google.com>...
> UVR <u...@usa.net> wrote in message news:<vf0ttuq...@corp.supernews.com>...
>
> > Raj Kumar saahib:
> >
> > 'bahut bahut shukriya' yeh mazmoon post karne kaa! waise
> > is fiqre -- bahut bahut shukriya -- par hamaare azeez dost
> > shree Jasho ji sb ne apni "dhauNs-vauNs" jamaa lee hai! :))
> > [NB: Jasho-ji, no offence meant AT ALL!]
> >
>
> huzoor, itni si tarkeeb to Khud maiN bhi bahut barat_ta hooN! Jasho
> Saahib ka turra-e-imtiyaaz to voh fiqre haiN jin se voh apne Khat ko
> Khatm karte haiN ---
>
> "aaKhir meiN itnee Haseen Ghazal sunaane kaa bahut bahut shukriya. aap
> kee aglee Ghazal kaa intezaar rahegaa. With best regards," :-))
>
LOL---zikr meraa mujh se behtar hai k us meHfil meN hai!!
saaHibaan, aap az raah e karam mere Khutoot ke is "Teep
ke misre'" kee koee achchhee islaaH farmaa deN to baRee
mihrbaanee hogee!
With best regards (until an alternative is found! :) ),
Jasho.
Zafar
mazmoon paRh kar to mustafeed o mehzooz huvaa lekin ye dekh kar thoRe
achanbhe kaa saamnaa bhee karnaa paRaa k agar che aap ke mazmoon kaa
taanaabaanaa is Khaaksaar ke paish karda nikaat par qaa'im hai (kam az
kam is qist meN to ko'yee na'yaa nazariya paish naheeN kiyaa ga'yaa),
lekin is ke baa vajood is heech-madaaN kaa zikr mazmoon se aise 'anqaa
hai jaise aik mash'hoor jaanvar ke sar se seeng!
hazzat, ye to vuhee misaal huvee k "meeThaa meeThaa hap hap, kaRvaa
kaRvaa thoo thoo" :)) yaa phir, "apnee apnee Daflee, apnaa apnaa
raag"!
Khair, adabee duniyaa meN ye gile shikve to chalte hee rehte haiN.
maiN to ye kehne haazir huvaa thaa k Farsi shaa'iree meN bhee takraar
kee ba'az bahut a'ala misaaleN yaad aa'yee haiN (lekin vuhee ahqar kee
baat k vo kasrat o shiddat kahaaN jo Urdu kaa Khaasa hai). aap ne
yaqeenan ye mash'hoor misra sunaa rakhaa ho gaa:
punbaa *kujaa kujaa* naham, tan *daaGh daaGh* hast!
doosra misra aur shaa'ir kaa naam to mujhe yaad naheeN aa rahaa,
taaham Maulana Room kaa ye she'er to maiN kabhee naheeN bhool saktaa:
biyaa jaanaaN! biyaa jaanaaN! tamaashaa kun! tamaashaa kun!
ba sad saamaan e rusvaa'ee, sar e baazaar mee raqsam!!!
ba taur e tabarruk, is Ghazal kaa aik aur she'er bhee sunte jaa'iye:
too aaN qaatil k az bahr e tamaashaa Khoon e man raizee
man aaN bismil k zair e Khanjar e KhooN-Khaar mee raqsam!
kam az kam mujhe to ye insaanee kalaam naheeN lagtaa.
aadaab arz hai,
Zaf
aur haaN, kyaa kisee qist meN Jaush kee "kyaa gul badanee, gul
badanee, gul badanee hai" shaamil karne kaa bhee iraada hai?
Raj Kumar
> Raj Kumar saaHab, aadaab arz!
>
> pehlee qist dekhee aur bahut pasand aayee---bahut bahut
> shukriya!---
>
Jasho Saahib:
maiN be-had Khush hooN k aap ko meri yeh kaavish pasaNd aa'ii. ummeed
hai k is mazmoon ki agli aqsaat bhi aap ke taraazoo par poorii utreN
gi!
> >
> > 4. ko'i meri aaNkh se dekhtaa tiri bazm-e-naaz kii vus'ateN
> > voh har aek gosha *makaaN makaaN*, voh har aek lamha *zaman zaman*!
> >
> > is she'r meiN, "makaaN makaaN" ke ma'ani "har makaaN" ke naheeN haiN
> > --- kuchh aur hi haiN! aur kyaa kehne "zaman zaman" ke!
> >
> is Ghazal meiN to takraar e lafzee (isee ma'anee meiN)
> ba kasrat istaimaal huaa thaa---jis se Ghazal kaa *voh*
> raNg khulaa thaa k...
ji haaN, is Ghazal meiN yeh vasf *kooT kooT* kar bharaa hu'aa hai. aap
ko yaad hoga k, pichhle baras, Jameel Ahmad (not Jameel Faraaz) Saahib
ne is Ghazal ke paaNch-saat ash'aar ALUP par chaspaaN kiye the, jin
meiN takraar-e-lafzii ki safeN bichhii hu'ii theeN. albatta maiN ne,
apne is mazmoon meiN, is Ghazal meiN se sirf aek she'r lenaa hi
munaasib samjhaa! I am sure, you know why?
> >
> > 7. *baadal baadal*, *bijlii bijlii*
> > *baada-gasaaraaN! baada-gasaaraaN!!*
> >
> > yahaaN aek riNd, mausim ke taqaaze se, doosre riNdoN ko aavaaz de
> > rahaa hai!
> > [yeh AKELA she'r Adabii Duniyaa ke aek shumaare meiN POORE safhe par
> > chhapaa thaa!]
> >
> BAHUT KHOOB!! yeh she'r kis kaa hai?
>
yeh she'r usi shaa'ir ka hai jis ka she'r #4 hai --- goya, Firaaq
Gorakhpuri ka!
> > 13. voh jo abhi is raah-guzar se chaak-girebaaN guzraa hai
> > us aavaaraa deevaane ko *Jaalib Jaalib* kehte haiN!!!
>
> VAAH! mere nazdeek takraar kaa yeh Khaas istaimaal
> "Haasil e qist" hai.
Your reaction here is quite understandable, Jasho Saahib. In fact, I
myself like this she'r very much!
--------
aaKhir meiN, aap ke in Haseen ta'assuraat ke liye aap ka bahut bahut
shukriya. (meri agli qist par) aap ke mazeed ta'assuraat ka be-sabrii
se intezaar rahe ga.
With best regards,
Raj Kumar :-))
Irfan 'Abid'
>
> jab aap kisi she'r se Khusoosi taur se mut'assir hote haiN to us ki
> kayee vajaheN hoti haiN --- she'r ka mazmoon, she'r ki tashkeel,
> alfaaz ka inteKhaab, misroN ka baahami rabt, vGh, vGh. in ausaaf meiN
> aek vasf jo ajeeb-o-GHareeb talismaat kaa haamil hota hai, voh hai
> alfaaz ki takraar. agar Theek DhaNg se ki jaaye to yeh takraar she'r
> ka ma'ani ko vasee' se vasee'-tar kar deti hai aur she'r ke asar ko
> baalaa se baalaa-tar! yooN to yeh vasf nasr meiN bhi utnaa hi pur-asar
> hota hai jitna nazm meiN --- magar jab is meiN husn-e-taGhazzul ki
> aamezish ho jaaye to kyaa hi kehne!
>
>
> to, huzoor, yeh rahi is mazmoon ki pehli qist. agli qist meiN, ham
> kuchh aise ash'aar ka lutf leN ge jin meiN lafz-e-mukarrar 'adjective'
> hoga. tab tak ke liye ijaazat!
>
> Khair-aNdesh, Raj Kumar
R K Sb, aadaab!
is dilchasp mazmuun par merii naacheez mubaarakbaad qubuul farmaaiye.
is par ek tazkirah yaad aa gayaa jo haal hii meN mere aur ek azeez
dost ke darmiyaan huaa thaa. mere ek misre :ik qayaamat TuuTtii hai
qalb par har har ghaRii: kii baabat mausuuf ne daryaaft kiyaa ki kyaa
:har: kii takraar jaaiz aur mumkinah :ghaRii ghaRii: se bahtar hai.
javaab meN maiN ne misaal ke taur par ye ash.aar pesh kiye the.
sarzad ham se be.adabii to vahshat meN bhii kam hii huii
kosoN us kii oar gae par sajdaa har har gaam kiyaa (Meer)
terii inaayatoN se mujh ko bhii aa chalaa hai
terii himaayatoN meN har har qadam guzarnaa (Jigar)
apne har har lafz kaa Khud aaiinaa ho jaauuNgaa
us ko chhoTaa kah ke maiN kaise baRaa ho jaauuNgaa (Wasim Barelvi)
na jaane kyuuN, :har har: meN jo baat hai vo noun (ghaRii, gaam,
qadam, lafz) ko duhraane se paidaa nahiiN hotii.
mazmuun kii aglii qist kaa intizaar rahegaa.
niyaazmand,
Irfan :Abid:
Raj Kumar
>
>
> mazmoon paRh kar to mustafeed o mehzooz huvaa lekin ye dekh kar thoRe
> achanbhe kaa saamnaa bhee karnaa paRaa k agar che aap ke mazmoon kaa
> taanaabaanaa is Khaaksaar ke paish karda nikaat par qaa'im hai (kam az
> kam is qist meN to ko'yee na'yaa nazariya paish naheeN kiyaa ga'yaa),
> lekin is ke baa vajood is heech-madaaN kaa zikr mazmoon se aise 'anqaa
> hai jaise aik mash'hoor jaanvar ke sar se seeng!
>
Zafar Saahib:
maiN ne, is mazmoon ki tamheed meiN, aap ka naam naheeN liyaa --- is
ki sirf aek aur aek hi vajah hai --- voh yeh k mere pichhle Khutoot se
har ALUPer par vaazeh thaa k mujhe yeh mazmoon likhne ki tarGheeb aap
hi se milii aur is ka alqaa bhi aap hi se paayaa. agar yeh mazmoon
kaheeN aur chhapna hota to maiN aap ka naam-e-naamii, yaqeenan aur
ba-sad-tasadduq, darj karta.
ab chooN-k, meri is kotaahi se, aap ki dil-shikanii hu'ii hai, is liye
maiN ba-sad-ajz-o-inkesaar aap se ma'azrat-Khwaah hooN!
In a lighter vein,
kyaa *roz roz* khaayeN tire naam ki qasam?
sab log jaante haiN k ham tere dam se haiN!!!
> hazzat, ye to vuhee misaal huvee k "meeThaa meeThaa hap hap, kaRvaa
> kaRvaa thoo thoo" :)) yaa phir, "apnee apnee Daflee, apnaa apnaa
> raag"!
>
*vaah, vaah*, takraar-e-lafzii ne to yahaaN bhi *Khoob Khoob* gul
khilaa rakkhe haiN! :-))
> Khair, adabee duniyaa meN ye gile shikve to chalte hee rehte haiN.
> maiN to ye kehne haazir huvaa thaa k Farsi shaa'iree meN bhee takraar
> kee ba'az bahut a'ala misaaleN yaad aa'yee haiN (lekin vuhee ahqar kee
> baat k vo kasrat o shiddat kahaaN jo Urdu kaa Khaasa hai). aap ne
> yaqeenan ye mash'hoor misra sunaa rakhaa ho gaa:
>
> punbaa *kujaa kujaa* naham, tan *daaGh daaGh* hast!
>
> doosra misra aur shaa'ir kaa naam to mujhe yaad naheeN aa rahaa,
> taaham Maulana Room kaa ye she'er to maiN kabhee naheeN bhool saktaa:
>
> biyaa jaanaaN! biyaa jaanaaN! tamaashaa kun! tamaashaa kun!
> ba sad saamaan e rusvaa'ee, sar e baazaar mee raqsam!!!
>
aap ki di hu'ii misaaleN Khoob haiN --- aur aap ke ishaariye se yeh
bhi pataa chalta hai k takraar-e-lafzii ki ne'mat, Faarsi ke muqaabile
meiN, Urdu ko kaheeN ziyaada milii hai --- goya, mera aNdaaza saheeh
thaa k Urdu meiN yeh sarmaaya besh-tar Hindi hi ki jaanib se aayaa
hai!
>
> aur haaN, kyaa kisee qist meN Jaush kee "kyaa gul badanee, gul
> badanee, gul badanee hai" shaamil karne kaa bhee iraada hai?
huzoor, yeh she'r agar is mazmoon meiN shaamil hota to pehli hi qist
meiN aa gayaa hota. aisa naheeN hu'aa, kyooN-k maiN is she'r ke pehle
misre se naa-vaaqif hooN! aap agar ise poora kar deN to maiN,
kam-az-kam, ise apne zehn meiN to utaar hi looN ga!
Khair-aNdesh, Raj Kumar
Raj Kumar
>
> R K Sb, aadaab!
>
> is dilchasp mazmuun par merii naacheez mubaarakbaad qubuul farmaaiye.
bahut bahut shukriya, Irfan Saahib, k aap ko yeh mazmoon dilchasp
lagaa!
> is par ek tazkirah yaad aa gayaa jo haal hii meN mere aur ek azeez
> dost ke darmiyaan huaa thaa. mere ek misre :ik qayaamat TuuTtii hai
> qalb par har har ghaRii: kii baabat mausuuf ne daryaaft kiyaa ki kyaa
> :har: kii takraar jaaiz aur mumkinah :ghaRii ghaRii: se bahtar hai.
aap ke is misre meiN "har har ghaRii" ki tarkeeb KHOOB jach rahi hai
aur maiN ise badalne ki qat'an zaroorat mehsoos naheeN karta. albatta,
aek baat kehne ki zaroor hai jo zaraa aage chal kar kahooN ga!
> javaab meN maiN ne misaal ke taur par ye ash.aar pesh kiye the.
>
> sarzad ham se be.adabii to vahshat meN bhii kam hii huii
> kosoN us kii oar gae par sajdaa har har gaam kiyaa (Meer)
>
> terii inaayatoN se mujh ko bhii aa chalaa hai
> terii himaayatoN meN har har qadam guzarnaa (Jigar)
>
> apne har har lafz kaa Khud aaiinaa ho jaauuNgaa
> us ko chhoTaa kah ke maiN kaise baRaa ho jaauuNgaa (Wasim Barelvi)
>
> na jaane kyuuN, :har har: meN jo baat hai vo noun (ghaRii, gaam,
> qadam, lafz) ko duhraane se paidaa nahiiN hotii.
>
aap ne jo misaaleN di haiN un se aap ke tarz-e-ist'emaal ko poora
poora javaaz milta hai aur aap ka yeh kehna bhi ravaa hai k, is maqaam
par, jo baat "har har gaRhii" meiN hai, voh "gharii ghaRii" meiN
kahaaN hoti! albatta mujhe, is zimn meiN, aap se do baateN kehni haiN:
aek to yeh k aap zaraa Jigar Saahib ka yeh she'r dekhiye jis meiN
"ghaRii ghaRii" ki tarkeeb ne qayaamat barpaa kar rakkhii hai:
"ghaRii ghaRii" mujhe soorat dikhaa'ii jaatii hai
kuchh aa gayee hai tabiiyat, kuchh aa'ii jaatii hai!!!
aap mujh se ittefaaq kareN ge k, is she'r meiN, jo baat "ghaRii
ghaRii" ne paidaa kii hai, voh "har har ghaRii" se paidaa naheeN ho
saktii thii!
doosre yeh k agar lafz-e-mukarrar "qadam" ho to aap zaraa Ustaad DaaGh
ka yeh matla dekhiye [huzoor, agarche baat takraar-e-lafzii ki ho rahi
hai phir bhi, qat'a-e-nazar is ke, DaaGh ka yeh matla jhoom jhoom kar
(aur kisi ko choom choom kar) paRhne ke laa'iq hai]! farmaate haiN k
"saNbhaal kar" ko'ii le jaaye us ke paas mujhe!
biThaaye deti hai *ik ik qadam* pe yaas mujhe!!!!!
ab dekhne ki baat yeh hai k, is she'r meiN, jo baat "ik ik qadam" se
banii hai voh baat na to "qadam qadam" se ban saktii thi aur na hi
"har har qadam" se!
In the latter case, mere acoustics would have ruined the whole thing
--- note the word "hai" in front!
kehne ka matlab yeh hai k, kisi bhi she'r meiN, taraakeeb ka inteKhaab
mauq'a-mahal dekh kar karna paRta hai --- aur, bad-qismati se, is baat
ka ko'ii buniyaadi usool naheeN hai aur agar hai to Khaaksaar us usool
se be-baihra hai!
Having said all this, I must reiterate my position (stated earlier)
that, in your misra, the phrase "har har ghaRii" fits so precisely and
so perfectly that I wouldn't tinker with it!
mujhe lagta hai k aaaaN-hazrat ko "har har" ki tarkeeb is liye naheeN
jachii k yeh tarkeeb unheN "har har mahaaN-dev" ki yaad dilaati hai!
Poor thing!!!
LOL, bal-k ROTFL
Khair-aNdesh, Raj Kumar
Nahyan Fancy
woh naa_laayaq main hoon jis ke baare men Irfan saahib zikr kar rahe.n hai.n
aap se. ab aap kii wazaahat ke baad aur Daagh ke sher ke baad mujhe bhii lag
rahaa hai ke "phonetically" ek Khuubsuuratii aatii hai "re" kii takaraar se
"har har" ke istemaal se kyon ke woh "par" ke fauran baad aa rahe hain.
lekin yeh zehn phir bhii maan_ne ko tayyaar nahiin ke "har har ghaRii" men
ko_ii aur maanii_Khez baat kii jaa rahii hai. meraa matlab yeh hai ke
"ghaRii ghaRii" aur "pal pal" yaa duusre takaraar-e-lafzii kii jo aap
misaale.n de rahe.n hai.n unn men kaafii dafa ek aur matlab nikaltaa hai jo
"har ghaRii" ya "har pal" se ziyaada hotaa hai. woh baat mujhe "har har
ghaRii" men nazar nahiin aatii aur matlab ke lihaaz se "har" "redundant"
mehsoos hotaa hai.
But I concede that phonetically a new flow is introduced in the rhythm with
this construction, and therefore sounds more poetric, so I take my
cautionary words back! :)
niyaaz_mand,
Nahyan Fancy
"Raj Kumar" <rajkum...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:c10928a.03062...@posting.google.com...
Yashowanto N. Ghosh
rajkum...@hotmail.com (Raj Kumar) wrote in message news:<c10928a.03061...@posting.google.com>...
> yasho...@yahoo.com (Yashowanto N. Ghosh) wrote in message news:<efffb540.0306...@posting.google.com>...
> > >
> > > 7. *baadal baadal*, *bijlii bijlii*
> > > *baada-gasaaraaN! baada-gasaaraaN!!*
> > >
> > > yahaaN aek riNd, mausim ke taqaaze se, doosre riNdoN ko aavaaz de
> > > rahaa hai!
> > > [yeh AKELA she'r Adabii Duniyaa ke aek shumaare meiN POORE safhe par
> > > chhapaa thaa!]
> > >
>
> > BAHUT KHOOB!! yeh she'r kis kaa hai?
> >
>
> yeh she'r usi shaa'ir ka hai jis ka she'r #4 hai --- goya, Firaaq
> Gorakhpuri ka!
javaab kaa bahut bahut shukriya!
>
> > > 13. voh jo abhi is raah-guzar se chaak-girebaaN guzraa hai
> > > us aavaaraa deevaane ko *Jaalib Jaalib* kehte haiN!!!
> >
> > VAAH! mere nazdeek takraar kaa yeh Khaas istaimaal
> > "Haasil e qist" hai.
>
> Your reaction here is quite understandable, Jasho Saahib. In fact, I
> myself like this she'r very much!
>
> --------
>
> aaKhir meiN, aap ke in Haseen ta'assuraat ke liye aap ka bahut bahut
> shukriya. (meri agli qist par) aap ke mazeed ta'assuraat ka be-sabrii
> se intezaar rahe ga.
>
> With best regards,
>
LOL---buzurg bhee meree pairavee kar rahe haiN?!
"With best regards",
Jasho.
Defyingdestiny19
history but a cheap devanagari urdu with some sanskrit words. there was at one
point in time a "hindustani" that became "urdu" - that language still exists
but has a cheap imitation by the name of hindi...