Dirus' werecard, v1998.11.05
Dirus
few months since first posting to it, here is my werecard. Some of the
language or some concepts may be vague; If I can find a way, I'll fix it up
as time passes. This should share some information about me, though, to the
rest of the cyberpack.
I did have a v1998.10.31, but I've edited a few things since then: I fixed
up a bit of the language and edited a couple of things for the newsgroup.
Also, I remind myself with many of the weredragons here that "Dragon"
doesn't exactly work for NON-WERE mythological beast, so I changed the
heading a bit...
===
v1998.11.05
Human Name:
Luis A. R. Antúnez
Were Name:
Dirus
Phenotype:
Wolf, partly Canadian Timber, partly European, partly Mexican
Shifting Ability:
Aura, Dream, Meditative
Birthdate:
April 12, 1981
Birthplace:
Palo Alto, California, USA
Home Territory:
Englewood, Colorado, USA
Dream Territory:
Imagine these three places:
+ A snowy forest with a greyish-blue sky. There are plenty of
trees, large rocks, caves, and rivers. Generally, the colors you see are
white, green, brown, and grey-blue.
+ A dusk-like prairie, surrounded by mesas, and with rivers running
through, but generally open. Only cacti and scattered grasses seem to have
their stance on the land.
+ An area full of rolling grassy hills with a mist and a fog by the
sea.
If you can these three places being in separate areas though
relatively in the same world, you have my dream territory.
Physical Description, Human:
182 cm (between 5'11" and 6'), 65 kg (about 145 lbs). Dark
brown/black hair, dark brown eyes, brown skin. Thin, though somewhat
veined, arms, which make my hands/paws/whatever look relatively big, and
thicker, more built legs, perhaps from all the running I like to do. (Hey,
it's quicker than walking! Besides, when you find you only have 2 minutes to
run across an 88 acre campus to get to your next class...)
I look much older than my age and sound much older than that,
according to some.
Physical Description, Were:
From what I've inferred, mainly black-furred, if not a really dark
brown, with white fur in the interior of the ears, and an area of white fur
around each of the eyes. Also, as for the legs, it streams from black at
the shoulders and pelvis to white at the ends. Mainly white chested.
Human Career:
High school student (and in one more year, university student)
Hobbies/Interests:
+ Music: marching band (definitely!), wind ensemble, pep band, and
whatever I feel like playing on my alto sax
+ Computers and electronics (well, having grown up so close to
Silicon Valley in the first place, and since my dad worked a lot with
computers...)
+ philosophy and ethics
+ the outdoors, esp. when hiking or biking
+ wildlife, esp. wolves and other wild canines (but that's a given,
no?)
+ sports (esp. American and European football and basketball, though
I'd have to say I'm mostly a spectator, unfortunately)
+ video games (fighters, action games, and linear RPGs)
Favorite Movies:
I prefer dramas and comedies. Dramas mainly because they can
include bits and pieces of all elements of other movies, including comedy,
though they can make a person think quite a bit. Comedy because I just feel
we (as a society in general) need a good laugh now and then.
I like movies from all genres, though. But movies to name? Too
many.
Lemme at least name "Robin Hood: Men in Tights," "Balto," and
anything having to do with Monty Python.
Favorite Were-movie:
So far, I've only seen two: "Wolf" and "American Werewolf in
London." So far, AWIL gets my vote. (I'd also like to see "The Howling," as
there were many who said that movie was good.)
Favorite Literature:
Any poetry and allegories. It's fun to dissect them for meaning or
symbolism. Of course, they're also great for imagery, compacted into only a
few stanzas. You can give me more of the cultured stuff, and I'd enjoy it.
I'm also a fan of Calvin and Hobbes (well, not John "Calvin" and
Thomas "Hobbes," but rather their anti-egos) . And you can also just hand me
anything I can read, do voices, and even act out in front of an audience of
elementary school kids. Shel Silverstein is one of the greats in that
section. (Fans of Laurence Perrine's Sound and Sense would kill me for
passing that off as poetry, though.)
Favorite Were Literature:
Perhaps Steppenwolf, by Hermann Hesse, even though the author stated
that Harry Haller wasn't a werewolf -- or at least a p-shifting one.
I've also read "Cycle of the Werewolf" by Stephen King -- it was an
illustrated version. Though the illustrations were nice, I maybe would've
enjoyed it better had it not had them. (Illustrations don't allow the mind
to make its own images in literature, IMHO.)
Favorite Art:
Though I like the different forms of Picasso's work and Claude
Monet's trademark brush stroke, I'd actually have to choose the better
examples of anime. Effective shading and nice solid colors. And, well, I
dunno: I suppose it's also because it's some of the most modern work -- an
art form in progress.
Favorite Were-art:
I haven't done much research, though so far I like Mr. X's artwork,
which can be found on Bender's art archives. I really love the realistic
tone of artwork, especially on certain pics how the artist incorporates real
images and then makes the rest of the image look as realistic as possible.
Favorite Quote:
At least now, it's "This above all: to thine own self be true..."
Favorite Were Saying/Quote:
"Indulge your own wolf - give it a voice." -- Brokken T-Wolf
Favorite Personal Quotes:
You mean you can actually find a quote inbetween all those "uhhhm"s
I do? Eh, well, here's one:
"Before you walk forward, be sure you have a place to step."
Favorite Song/Band(s):
I like music from all genres, and I dislike music from all genres,
too. My favorite genres are most forms of classical (esp. modern), jazz,
easy listening, and certainly not least, the different forms of rock. Here
are few songs and authors that seem to stand out, and this list may grow
with time:
+ "Saturday in the Park" by Chicago
+ "Make Me Smile" by Chicago
+ "Moon Dance" by Van Morrison
+ Dave Brubeck
+ Chuck Mangionne
+ John Paul Rampal
+ Cranberries
+ Dave Matthew's Band
+ Leonard Bernstein
+ Aaron Copland
Favorite Were Song/Band:
+ King Harvest's "Dancing in the Moonlight"
Favorite Season:
I'm split between the transitions between Summer and Autumn and also
Autumn and Winter. These are the rainiest seasons, and, in the case of
Colorado, the snowiest. For one, I prefer cold temperatures. Not
necessarily freezing, mind you; my fingers end up killing me because they
never retain too much heat. Just, well, fresh to cold. For me, there's
just some life that rebounds in me when I'm active in cold weather, running
around and whatnot (although I can't be standing still too long ;] ).
Then, with rain, for some reason I feel most comfortable with it. It
reminds me of the Bay Area (although now I'm hearing that rain is the last
thing the people want there, especially after El Niño last year). Of course,
if ever it just gets too cold for my own well-being, there seems to be the
comfort of the fire in a fireplace or anywhere else.
But I'd definitely describe myself as one who likes the cold. Add
to the fact that the nights get longer, and it, well, feels great. It's
felt great since I can remember.
Favorite Holidays:
By far, I enjoy the winter holidays. For me, they've symbolized a
coming together of extended family (or in my case, if I need be
anal-retentive, really good friends and their extended family, since my
actual extended family lived too far off). I dunno; that's just what's
always happened during the winter holidays. I was noticing that my first
winter in Colorado in 1997 felt different.
Sometimes, though, it gets a little hot or a little crowded inside
the house when a reunion's going on, or I find the fireplace uncomfortable.
Going back to the previous answer, I find it good to be able to step outside
into the cold, where it just feels more comfortable. And the night sky in
the winter... I don't know how to explain it. There's just something about
it that feels great outside.
Of course, I also enjoy Halloween. I get to put on my wolf suit, if
time provides, and, well, acting differently from the rest of the crowd
doesn't seem to freak out everyone at this time of year -- kind of.
Preferred Prey:
Deer's good, although I only remember having deer bratwurst, and
that was only once. Other than that, my mom's green enchiladas.
Hunting Tips:
Stealthily get behind your prey of choice. This may involve having
to absorb some of the impact as you walk. Then lunge, bite and grab, and
don't let go!
Of course, I've never actually made kills, though it works great for
scaring the living daylights out of people, in which case the bite will have
to be a mock bite, and a loud yell or growl accompanies the lunging. ;)
(And, of course, there's no harm done, and fun is had by all, provided no
heart attack results.)
Preferred Method of Attack:
Anything involving stealth as a start. See "Hunting Tips."
Favorite Mythological Beast:
Dragon
Feelings Toward Vampires:
Well, I could joke around by saying, "Beware, I like Italian food."
That's been overdone though.
It generally depends on whom you speak. See "Feelings Toward Normal
Human Beings".
As far as I can say specifically, I've got a friend in my marching
band who says he's a vamp, and well, I guess he's the only one I've actually
been able to tell about my therianthropy. And I guess I admire his ability
to be open about who he is, and many have accepted it.
Feelings Toward Normal Humans:
Hmm. Well, first, lemme say that I don't believe there is such a
concept as a "normal human" being, or at least I haven't met any. I'll just
speak about human beings in general, and even then, I can't place any one
thought. I can say that most, if not all, of the people I've met I like
because most, if not all, that I've personally met have some degree of
kindness. I suppose it's due to my general experience.
To really answer that question, I can only bring up the concept of
Yin and Yang: there are two opposite sides to everything. There are kind
individuals, and there are corrupt individuals. And, even then, the kind
and the corrupt have different sides to themselves; I don't know. I
suppose, due to my general experience, it's hard for me to really think that
anyone is absolutely corrupt, save a few individuals in the history books.
All in all though, it really depends of whom you speak. My
experiences could change as time passes. After all, though a lot of my
actions and thoughts may be mature according to some, I am still considered
a youth.
Personal Therianthropy:
There were a few factors in having me conclude that I was a
spiritual therianthrope.
I can probably say that, since I was younger, I've felt that I could
understand canines better. I often found that other people were, well, too,
obscure. As much as I'd try to understand them, and as much as I tried to
show that I did understand them, inside, it was simply too hard for me to
do so.
This isn't to say that I was shy, however: actually, I could be,
and most oftentimes am, quite extrovertive at times. But, well, sometimes,
there's something about other people that I feel alienated about, even those
I've known for quite some time.
But that might be a common trait among all weres. So I guess I
should mention what really led me to conclude that I was a werewolf.
I can remember feelings since I was but a cub: familiar, even
comforting feelings. Oftentimes, these feelings would increase as I
encountered other canines and would decrease when they were gone. Funny how
it would never happen around other species: just those of the canine sort.
I was never able to explain, at that time, why.
Around my thirteenth year, when I hit puberty, these feelings became
especially strong. I would remember I would start having vague dreams that
I was somewhere familiar, yet in no place in which I had remembered being,
or even hearing about, for that matter. I was running on all fours, and my
body wasn't that of what I normally had. It seemed more canine, almost like
that of a husky or a German shepherd, but it was wilder -- more free. I
felt different, yet it all seemed familiar. And it seemed I dreamed a
number of experiences here, running with the pack, playing, and, well, even
mating.
Before the midpoint of my fifteenth year, I had researched domestic
canines, foxes, coyotes, and the sort, but it wasn't until my fifteenth year
that I had finally noticed wolves. There was something amazing that
happened there: I felt a familiarity, a sense of true identity -- I don't
know how to explain it. But the dreams I was having became clearer now.
Also, upon seeing, researching, and hearing the wolf, the feelings inside
seemed to be clearer. It seemed that I had found the source of my feelings:
here was my connection.
It was then that I was able to define inside who I was. I
discovered that I was a wolf on the inside.
But why did I not make the connection between myself and wolves
beforehand? Maybe I had just considered the dreams somewhat insignificant
until that connection and the clarity seemed to happen. I was always an
admirer of canines; I just had not made the connection, or rather, the
connection hadn't been made for me.
Of course, I was too self-conscious to tell anyone about it, and
maybe even mildly ashamed: others would have questioned my sanity, and I
was afraid to risk losing any of my current friends. As long as none of
that happened, though, I still felt content with myself. I felt it was a
blessing of some sort, because I had a good sense of who I was.
It was a few months later that I had found AHWw, where there were
others who felt such a connection to another species. It was great to know
that there were others. But I never had the courage to post for another
year-and-a-half. I guess I was still too self-conscious about telling about
it, even to other weres, at first.
Because of some religious ideas I adopted early 1998, I developed a
fierce shame of it and went into denial of it. Thanks to some inspiration
I've had from some weres, especially Brokken T-Wolf, I was able to fight my
shame and denial against it, and I began to consider my spiritual
therianthropy a blessing again, as I had before. I also mustered up the
courage to post to AHWw. I've been with the cyberpack since, and they've
been almost a second family.
That's my story in a nutshell.
===
I have an addendum to the personal therianthropy section, but I might wait a
bit to post it.
+++
= Dirus -- di...@geocities.com -- ICQ UIN 766782 =
http://www.geocities.com/RainForest/Vines/2045
Sebak
>few months since first posting to it, here is my werecard. Some of the
>language or some concepts may be vague; If I can find a way, I'll fix it up
>as time passes. This should share some information about me, though, to the
>rest of the cyberpack.
>
>I did have a v1998.10.31, but I've edited a few things since then: I fixed
>up a bit of the language and edited a couple of things for the newsgroup.
>
>Also, I remind myself with many of the weredragons here that "Dragon"
>doesn't exactly work for NON-WERE mythological beast, so I changed the
>heading a bit...
>
Thanks.
I just left high school, curently in university. university is about 10 times
as fun as high school. i can sum it up in one word: freedom.
>Hobbies/Interests:
> + Music: marching band (definitely!), wind ensemble, pep band, and
>whatever I feel like playing on my alto sax
> + Computers and electronics (well, having grown up so close to
>Silicon Valley in the first place, and since my dad worked a lot with
>computers...)
> + philosophy and ethics
cool, another person into philosophy!
> + the outdoors, esp. when hiking or biking
> + wildlife, esp. wolves and other wild canines (but that's a given,
>no?)
> + sports (esp. American and European football and basketball, though
>I'd have to say I'm mostly a spectator, unfortunately)
> + video games (fighters, action games, and linear RPGs)
>
>Favorite Movies:
> I prefer dramas and comedies. Dramas mainly because they can
>include bits and pieces of all elements of other movies, including comedy,
>though they can make a person think quite a bit. Comedy because I just feel
>we (as a society in general) need a good laugh now and then.
> I like movies from all genres, though. But movies to name? Too
>many.
> Lemme at least name "Robin Hood: Men in Tights," "Balto," and
>anything having to do with Monty Python.
and now for something completely different...
neat, i like monet too, but i prefer Dali :)
who needs reality when you've got Dali?
>
>Favorite Were-art:
> I haven't done much research, though so far I like Mr. X's artwork,
>which can be found on Bender's art archives. I really love the realistic
>tone of artwork, especially on certain pics how the artist incorporates real
>images and then makes the rest of the image look as realistic as possible.
>
>Favorite Quote:
> At least now, it's "This above all: to thine own self be true..."
>
"...for it must follow, as the night unto the day that thou canst not be false
to any man.."
I love hamlet <grin>
well, nice to see your werecard. with your extended duration of lurking, i
suspect that you know of me already, and may have even caught some of my posts.
anyhow,
Roars,
Mokele-mbembe
barbara turner
Congratulations on a very well-written, interesting and informative
werecard. It's good to meet you!
Moonwolf
heather ortego
almost look the same! : )
I am all black, the only trace of white on me is my ears! They (both of
em) are solid white until right at the base. Makes me look like my ear
were dipped in paint.; )
the white-eared:
Wolf Gurl
Dirus
I, Dirus, wrote previously what is marked with '>>',
and Moleke-mbembe wrote what is marked with '>':
>>Also, I remind myself with many of the weredragons here that "Dragon"
>>doesn't exactly work for NON-WERE mythological beast, so I changed the
>>heading a bit...
> Thanks.
No problem. I'll tell you, though, that some weres have, in the past,
questioned or doubted the concept of a mythological species as a phenotype.
I don't believe doubt is the concensus of the weres past and present that
have been on this newsgroup, though.
>>Human Career:
>> High school student (and in one more year, university student)
>I just left high school, curently in university. university is about 10
times
>as fun as high school. i can sum it up in one word: freedom.
That's a a good motive for going to college, although, depending on the
amount of work that a person might get, the word "freedom" might be used
loosely. ;) My own brother usually comes back home dead after a quarter.
There is a big sense of freedom in the university, though. I feel I will be
able to do many more things that I can't do right now, Like go to howls,
provided they're in the area. Well, that's not a reason I have that I apply
to colleges, but it's just something to mention.
Some people tell me how they started to miss the families after arriving at
a university. I wonder if that'll be the case with me.
>>Hobbies/Interests:
<snip>
>> + philosophy and ethics
>
> cool, another person into philosophy!
>
Yeah, I'm taking a semester class called "Western Philosophy and Ethics,"
and it is one of my favorite classes. I won't be majoring in philosophy (I
plan to go into Electrical Engineering), but it still is a great interest of
mine. Not only is the subject great: the teacher is great, but I also
enjoy him partly because he came from UC-Berkeley, and he sometimes tells me
about some of his experiences, such as Haight-Ashbury and, better yet, his
impressions concerning the Stanford Marching Band (heh heh heh...)
Sorry. I just miss the San Francisco Bay Area (after living there who knows
how many years), although if I get back there, I'll probably be missing
Colorado. ;)
>>Favorite Movies:
<snip>
>> Lemme at least name "Robin Hood: Men in Tights," "Balto," and
>>anything having to do with Monty Python.
>
>and now for something completely different...
"It's --" "Monty Python's Flying Circus!"
Break out the sousa march, silly anims... and all else that you see & hear
there. Yeah... it's grand, and, well, being on PBS, a good resource... (It
shows regularly on PBS, Channel 6, 11:30 PM MST for any Denver weres.)
>>Favorite Art:
>> Though I like the different forms of Picasso's work and Claude
>>Monet's trademark brush stroke, I'd actually have to choose the better
>>examples of anime. Effective shading and nice solid colors. And, well, I
>>dunno: I suppose it's also because it's some of the most modern work --
an
>>art form in progress.
>
>neat, i like monet too, but i prefer Dali :)
>who needs reality when you've got Dali?
Yeah, I love his work too. I was just pointing out anime because of good
detail.
Of course, a lot, if not all, of anime has little merit beyond good style of
artwork... you know. Barely any meaning, or at least I have yet to see one
that has meaning.
Hmm. Maybe I'll hafta change that. That's what I get for looking at art at
just face value...
>>Favorite Quote:
>> At least now, it's "This above all: to thine own self be true..."
>>
>"...for it must follow, as the night unto the day that thou canst not be
false
>to any man.."
> I love hamlet <grin>
Same here. :) Here's yet another quote that I love from Hamlet:
"... Since brevity is the soul of wit
and tediousness the limbs and outward flashes
I will be brief." -- Polonius
You can sense from some of my messages that I can relate. ;D
I chose that Hamlet quote for now because, well, for a time, I wasn't being
true to myself, and for it, I wasn't, well, content with myself.
> well, nice to see your werecard. with your extended duration of
lurking, i
>suspect that you know of me already, and may have even caught some of my
posts.
Yes, I do know of you, and I have caught, and enjoyed, many of your posts.
:)
===
Howls, barks, and tailwags!
Dirus
Thanks! :) Good to meet you too.
It took me a while to compose it, although I imagine that's the case for
many werecards.
---
I seem to have left a couple of items out on certain topics, though
those items are menial. And, some of the language might still be vague.
I'm working on a separate page that's more about personal items about
myself. I'll post my werecard there so that, every time I find something I
can add or edit, I won't have to bother this newsgroup over and over about
it. I'll post the URL when there's some content up.
Dirus
Wolf Gurl appeared to have written excitedly ;) :
Well, that's all from what I've inferred, of course. :) Besides the sense
from my dreams, the type of which I seem not to have had for quite a time
unfortunately, the sense of a connection and familiarity seems to come up
whenever I see an image of a mainly black, partly white wolf.
+++
= Dirus -- di...@geocities.com -- ICQ UIN 766782 =
http://www.geocities.com/RainForest/Vines/2045
P.S. -- I can't promise personal replies to everyone... I just have time
right now.