Sex on the Train
Bruce Nichol
I read a short story in a recent international edition of
Newsweek about a couple in a train in England. Apparently they were
having oral sex on the train and were pretty much ignored by the other
passengers. However when they were finished, the lit up cigarettes.
This caused much dismay among the other passengers, some of whom
complained to the conductor. "I say, you can't smoke here!" They
were later arrested for indecent exposure or something like that.
--
Bruce G. Nichol Schlumberger Geco-Prakla
47 4 50 68 65 PO Box 330
nic...@gest20.sinet.slb.com 4024 Stavanger
FAX: 47 4 50 64 50 Norway
--
Bruce
Bob Konigsberg
legend, or since I heard it in the service, a military legend...
Anyhow, when I was in the service, I was stationed at Coleman Army
Airfield in Mannheim in West Germany (at the time). It was a common
tale there that underneath the airfield
that we all worked on, was a maze of aircraft hangars left over from
World War II. The U.S. Army, had lost several people to booby traps
when trying to investigate these hangars, that they finally flooded
them, and sealed off the entrance.
Question: To verify its authenticity (or more precisely the lack thereof)
Does anyone else know of such a tale being repeated at their airbase,
or similar circumstances? OR better yet, can anyone substantiate the
story?
Thanks,
BobK
George Jetson
>
> I read a short story in a recent international edition of
>Newsweek about a couple in a train in England. Apparently they were
>having oral sex on the train and were pretty much ignored by the other
>passengers. However when they were finished, the lit up cigarettes.
>This caused much dismay among the other passengers, some of whom
>complained to the conductor. "I say, you can't smoke here!" They
>were later arrested for indecent exposure or something like that.
So? What's your point? It all sounds perfectly reasonable to me.
Regarding the actual charge, there has always been a dicotomy between
the horrible things people do and the (usually) relatively trivial
things that we bust them for. E.g., Al Capone.
************************************************************************
A note to new readers: the weasely :-) symbol is frowned upon in this
group. Any questions, see Phil Gustafson who will gladly rearrange your
diodes for you.
- From the AFU FAQ -
- py...@quads.uchicago.edu, who is still costing the net
hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars, every time he posts -
************************************************************************
Dolf Grunbauer
> I read a short story in a recent international edition of
>Newsweek about a couple in a train in England. Apparently they were
>having oral sex on the train and were pretty much ignored by the other
>passengers. However when they were finished, the lit up cigarettes.
>This caused much dismay among the other passengers, some of whom
>complained to the conductor. "I say, you can't smoke here!" They
>were later arrested for indecent exposure or something like that.
I think this is a joke. The version I heard was of a man masturbating
and afterwards asking the old lady next to him if it was ok if he smoked..
--
_ _
/ U | Dolf Grunbauer E.C.H.O. Development Digital Equipment Enterprises
/__'< do...@echo.philips.nl do...@toet.echo.tds.philips.nl
88 |_\ mcsun!echo.philips.nl!dolf Was Dat voor niets ?
Dolf Grunbauer
Although I cannot say whether this particular story is true or not, it
does not sound impossible. I have never heard stories of booby trapping
on purpose such an object. On the other hand even nowadays we still
'suffer' from the bombing during WWII. A special part of our Dutch army,
called the EOD (Explosieven Opruimings Dienst), has a full daytime work
of taking care of unexploded bombs from WWII. The amazing thing is that
even 48 years after WWII stopped, the number of bombs they find and clear
is *in*creasing each year. As you may know the Netherlands is just inbetween
England and Germany, so very many of the bombflights at night went over
our country (first the Germans to England, later on the English/Americans/etc
to Germany). And of course many planes crashed over the Netherlands.
Also Rotterdam was heavily bombed by the Germans in 1940. Just a couple
of month ago some old houses were torn down to make room for a large new
building and they found a huge unexploded bomb just beneath these old
buildings (during the war the bomb has gone through the house without
exploding and was forgotten or ignored). To clear this bomb, parts of
Rotterdam had to be evacuated (circle of radius of 500m), while an even
bigger area (circle of radius of 2 km) has to stay in house, trains were
stopped etc. This may sound weird, but this kind of thing happen about
2 to 3 times a years (although not always in an inner city, and on the
country the press doesn't always take big notice of it).
I suppose the situation in Belgium (country south of the Netherlands)
is also very much like ours, and maybe even worse as they have fought in
WWI (yes: I) (the Netherlands were neutral then) and they have tons of
chemicals bombs 'hidden' all over the country (yes that is 74 years ago now).
Just last week a small city in Belgium suffered from a leaking container
of this stuff.
JOSEPH T CHEW
>2 to 3 times a years (although not always in an inner city, and on the
>country the press doesn't always take big notice of it).
Actually, American newspapers often pick up this sort of thing from
the wire services when they need to fill up a bit of white space. I
read about it a few times a year.
Just last weekend a fishing boat off the California coast -- Bodega
Bay, I think -- snagged a torpid torpedo that was fired, lost, or
whatever in WW II. The crew was taken off the boat and the Navy
detonated the torpedo safely. People find corroded WW II garbage
in the darnedest places, some of it still live. Even WW I stuff
turns up occasionally, though much more rarely (aerial bombing
greatly increased the problem).
There are even a few American nukes out there, plus God knows what
all the Former Sovies lost, although I'd imagine that it's all in
profoundly inaccessible places, such as the abyssal bottom, and much
the worse for wear. Somehow an H-bomb under 10 000 feet of water is
a lot less worrisome than a corroded 500-pounder in the cellar!
Joe "Woops! Sorry, kids -- no ping-pong in the basement today!" Chew
br...@kuhub.cc.ukans.edu
> nic...@asc.slb.com (Bruce Nichol) writes:
>> I read a short story in a recent international edition of
>>Newsweek about a couple in a train in England. Apparently they were
>>having oral sex on the train and were pretty much ignored by the other
>>passengers. However when they were finished, the lit up cigarettes.
>>This caused much dismay among the other passengers, some of whom
>>complained to the conductor. "I say, you can't smoke here!" They
>>were later arrested for indecent exposure or something like that.
>
> I think this is a joke. The version I heard was of a man masturbating
> and afterwards asking the old lady next to him if it was ok if he smoked
Oh yeah, this is definitely a UL. A few years ago Paul Harvey
(anything heard on Paul Harvey has a 9 in 10 chance of being an urban legend)
told a story about a couple having sex on an airplane. About halfway through
the act, a stewardess notice their behavior and tried to make them cease and
desist. The other passengers pelted the stewardess with food.
I don't believe a word of it.
Brent "Gosh, nothing that exciting ever happens in the seat next to me" Dyer
--
. _ . _____________
|\_|/__/| / \
/ / \/ \ \ / Happy! Happy! \
/__|O||O|__ \ \ Joy! Joy! /
|/_ \_/\_/ _\ | \ ___________/
| | (____) | || |/
\/\___/\__/ // _/
(_/ ||
| ||\
\ //_/ Brent E. Dyer
\______// Administrative Assistant
__|| __|| University of Kansas Computing Services
(____(____) BRNT@UKANVAX BR...@KUHUB.CC.UKANS.EDU
Happy Fun Ball
do...@echo.philips.nl (Dolf Grunbauer) writes:
>bo...@ESD.3Com.COM (Bob Konigsberg) writes:
>
>>It finally struck me last night of something that MAY be another urban
>>legend, or since I heard it in the service, a military legend...
>
>>Anyhow, when I was in the service, I was stationed at Coleman Army
>>Airfield in Mannheim in West Germany (at the time). It was a common
>>tale there that underneath the airfield
>>that we all worked on, was a maze of aircraft hangars left over from
>>World War II. The U.S. Army, had lost several people to booby traps
>>when trying to investigate these hangars, that they finally flooded
>>them, and sealed off the entrance.
>
>does not sound impossible. I have never heard stories of booby trapping
>on purpose such an object. On the other hand even nowadays we still
>'suffer' from the bombing during WWII. A special part of our Dutch army,
>called the EOD (Explosieven Opruimings Dienst), has a full daytime work
>of taking care of unexploded bombs from WWII. The amazing thing is that
>even 48 years after WWII stopped, the number of bombs they find and clear
>is *in*creasing each year.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This is interesting. My senior year in high school 89/90 I lived in
Stuttgart. I was attending Alexander M. Patch High (anyone else out there
ever gone there?) on a military base of the same name. There was construction
going on right next to the main building, and the workers (German) uncovered a
smouldering phosphorous bomb. Everyone was evacuated and we missed school that
day -- pretty cool.
Geoff
--
==============================================================================
|| "Maybe its imaginary, I'd like to know. || sage.cc.purdue.edu ||
|| What's the world coming to, and where || gfritz @--( or ||
|| will it go?" -- Kirsty MacColl || mn.ecn.purdue.edu ||
==============================================================================
Tony Sweeney
>In article <1992Sep1.0...@echo.philips.nl>, do...@echo.philips.nl (Dolf Grunbauer) writes:
>> nic...@asc.slb.com (Bruce Nichol) writes:
>>> I read a short story in a recent international edition of
>>>Newsweek about a couple in a train in England. Apparently they were
>>>having oral sex on the train and were pretty much ignored by the other
>>>passengers. However when they were finished, the lit up cigarettes.
>>>This caused much dismay among the other passengers, some of whom
>>>complained to the conductor. "I say, you can't smoke here!" They
>>>were later arrested for indecent exposure or something like that.
>>
>> I think this is a joke. The version I heard was of a man masturbating
>> and afterwards asking the old lady next to him if it was ok if he smoked
>
> Oh yeah, this is definitely a UL. A few years ago Paul Harvey
>(anything heard on Paul Harvey has a 9 in 10 chance of being an urban legend)
>told a story about a couple having sex on an airplane. About halfway through
>the act, a stewardess notice their behavior and tried to make them cease and
>desist. The other passengers pelted the stewardess with food.
> I don't believe a word of it.
UL maybe, happened in UK recently definitely. The couple were on the train back
from a works outing. The woman fellated the man in a first class carriage
(relatively private), then they repaired to a second class carriage,
whereupon the woman went to the toilet, removed her jeans, returned
to her partner, and had sex in full view of the travelling public.
Only when they lit up a post-coital cigarette did anyone raise a murmur.
("Hey, this a no smoking carriage!") The couple were arrested and subsequently
taken to court, where they were fined for public indecency and smoking in a
non-smoking carriage. This was a few weeks ago, so I no longer have
my copy of the Independant to cite exact details. They were fined about #75
each. Names and addresses were published. The one quote that sticks in my
mind is from the man: "We did have a few beers at Margate." This is the
sort of detail that no-one could invent.
>
>Brent "Gosh, nothing that exciting ever happens in the seat next to me" Dyer
>
Tony "you have to make your own fun" Sweeney.
Richard Joltes
>People find corroded WW II garbage
>in the darnedest places, some of it still live. Even WW I stuff
>turns up occasionally, though much more rarely (aerial bombing
>greatly increased the problem).
I may have posted this story before, but what the hey...
Cousteau was once asked to check out a point off Toulon where fishing boats
were snagging nets. The fishermen had marked off the area with buoys, and a
sunken boat of some sort was clearly visible (around 80 ft down) from the
surface. When he and his men went down, they found a German barge loaded
with shiny aluminum cylinders with wires hanging off them. They poked at the
stuff a bit while trying to find markings of some sort.
Then one of his men signalled to surface. Once there, the guy said "I think
I know what they are. They're German mines designed to detonate by pressure
or movement, and they're live!" They vacated the area, checked his theory
against some captured publications, and found he was right. There was no way
to disarm the mines safely, and no way to tow the barge out without incurring
explosive consequences. Cousteau and his men were pretty shaky, remembering
how they'd been wiping debris off the mines while looking for markings. They
estimated that there were around twenty tons of explosives on the barge, and
if they went off most of the dock area would disappear and every window in
town would shatter. So they marked off a wide danger zone around the barges
and waited until seawater corroded the mechanisms. The barge may still be
there.
--Derived from _The Silent World_, by Cousteau.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dick "boulliabaise, anyone?" Joltes jol...@husc.harvard.edu
Hardware & Networking Manager, Computer Services jol...@husc.bitnet
Harvard University Science Center
"Mind you, not as bad as the night Archie Pettigrew ate some
sheep's testicles for a bet...God, that bloody sheep kicked him..."
WC...@psuvm.psu.edu
off, this sounds a bit like the story that appeared first in the August 1940
NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC about the ancient catacombs underneath the island of Malta.
Allegedly you could walk from one end of the island to the other through these
underground passages, if you knew your way. However, the entrances were
sealed by the government, allegedly after a tour of schoolchildren and their
teachers lost their way in the labyrinth and never returned. Rumor had it that
for weeks one could hear the wailing and screaming of the children underground
, but no one could locate the source of the sounds.
There are local legends in Great Britain about caves that contain labyrinths
or which extend from (say) Liverpool to Chester (I made that up, no flames
please about the Mersey River); a bagpiper goes down to test the truth of
story, promising to keep playing as he goes so that people up top can monitor
his progress. He gets so far, but then the music stops, and he is never seen
again. His dog, however, turns up 3 days later, having worn off every hair on
its body wriggling through the tight places.
It's not hard to see how stories like this could get combined into something
like the Pied Piper (piper goes into cavern + children disappear into hole
in ground and are never seen again). How far was the German AFB from Hameln?
Bill Ellis
FOAFtale News
Duncan Gibson
During WWII, a ship called the Montgomery was sunk in the Thames
estuary. It was carrying munitions, and I don't know whether it is
designated as a war-grave, or because it is just too unsafe to salvage,
but it is still there...
--
Duncan Gibson, ESTEC/YCV, Postbus 299, 2200AG Noordwijk, The Netherlands
Preferred email: dun...@yc.estec.esa.nl or ...!sun4nl!esatst!duncan
Desperate email: dgi...@estec.esa.nl or dgi...@ESTEC.BITNET
ba...@vax.oxford.ac.uk
>nic...@asc.slb.com (Bruce Nichol) writes:
>> I read a short story in a recent international edition of
>>Newsweek about a couple in a train in England. Apparently they were
>>having oral sex on the train and were pretty much ignored by the other
>>passengers. However when they were finished, the lit up cigarettes.
>>This caused much dismay among the other passengers, some of whom
>>complained to the conductor. "I say, you can't smoke here!" They
>>were later arrested for indecent exposure or something like that.
>I think this is a joke. The version I heard was of a man masturbating
>and afterwards asking the old lady next to him if it was ok if he smoked.
This is certainly not a joke (though it is very funny). It was widely
reported in the British press a couple of weeks ago - names were named
(and I would repeat them but I've forgotten). The couple were actually
charged and fined - not very much, 50 pounds sterling or so as I recall.
I've long since junked my old newspapers, but someone somewhere should
still be able to dig out the relevant story. The couple worked for the
same company and were returning, a little tired and emotional, from some
company jolly. I think he was married and she was not. A UK gay paper
(Capital Gay?) pointed out how lenient the fines were when compared to
those issued to men having sex in public places (often a suspended
prison sentence).
Marcus Banks,
Oxford
Brian Scearce
> There are local legends in Great Britain about caves that contain
> labyrinths or which extend from (say) Liverpool to Chester (I made that
> up, no flames please about the Mersey River); a bagpiper goes down to
> test the truth of story, promising to keep playing as he goes so that
> people up top can monitor his progress. He gets so far, but then the
> music stops, and he is never seen again.
If only *all* bagpipers were so cooperative.
Brian "Ask me what Eric Partridge says about 'bagpiping'" Scearce
---
Brian Scearce b...@sector7g.eng.sun.com
The above does not necessarily represent Sun policy.
It's easier to get forgiveness than permission.
wil...@vax.oxford.ac.uk
>
> I read a short story in a recent international edition of
> Newsweek about a couple in a train in England. Apparently they were
> having oral sex on the train and were pretty much ignored by the other
> passengers. However when they were finished, the lit up cigarettes.
> This caused much dismay among the other passengers, some of whom
> complained to the conductor. "I say, you can't smoke here!" They
> were later arrested for indecent exposure or something like that.
You know, it's odd that you should mention that. This story apparently
appeared in the Independent a few weeks ago. I did not see it, but I was told
about it by a friend. It also appeared as a quiz question on the News Quiz on
the Radio, which confirms that the paper published it as a true story. The only
things I can add are that the couple were both employed by Sainsbury's, one of
Britain's largest supermarket chains, that they actually had full intercourse
and that the carriage was packed with commuters.
Now for the odd bit. This story was told as a joke by the comedian Victoria
Wood in her show "Victoria Wood as seen on TV", which must have been first
broadcast about two years ago. Since then I have heard the same show twice on
the Radio, most recently about a fortnight ago, just after the newspaper story.
Is this life imitating humour, or is this a gullible newspaper editor being
taken in by a practical joke? Has this been reported anywhere outside these
supposedly staid islands?
--
Stephen Wilcox | Remember what happened to the dinosaurs!
wil...@maths.oxford.ac.uk | I did---and look what happened to me.
Anthony Datri
Dave Baines
>I've long since junked my old newspapers, but someone somewhere should
>still be able to dig out the relevant story. The couple worked for the
Well, in my newspapers to be recycled pile I found The Scotsman of Friday 7th
August 92 which contained the following report.
Have-it-awayday couple puffed out after sex show.
Travellers packing a hot and humid British Rail train turned a blind eye as a
couple on a works day-trip to Margate treated them to a full sex show, a court
heard yesterday.
Their patience finally wore thin, however, when John Henderson, 29, and Zoe
D'Arcy, 19, rounded their rail romp off with a cigarrete....in a non-smoking
compartment.
Nazir Afzal, prosecuting, said the couple's antics on a crowded evening
service to London's Victoria station left fellow travellers dumbfounded.
He told Horseferry Road Magistrates' Court in London how the pair were
first spotted "apparently having oral sex" in a first class compartment.
He said that Henderson and D'Arcy, workmates at the Sainsbury's warehouse
in Ealing, London, were seen by a woman as she boarded the train with her
children.
"Miss D'Arcy was kneeling down, with her head between Mr Henderson's legs"
Mr Afzal said.
When the couple noticed they were being watched they separated and Henderson
zipped his trousers up but the witness could not say for sure if they were
having oral sex.
However a "full" sex show followed minutes later, after the couple moved to
a crowded second-class carriage with children present.
Mr Afzal said "Miss D'Arcy go up, went to the toilet and came out carrying
her jeans and wearing only her knickers on the lower part of her body. She was
seen to sit on Mr Henderson's lap and they performed full sexual intercourse.
In due course, they finished and lit up a cigarrette each.
Mr Afzal said that until that point nobody had complained. "It was only on
their action in lighting up the cigarrettes that the witnesses actually came
up to them and complained about their behaviour."
Passengers found a guard who radioed for police to meet the couple at
Victoria.
Henderson, of Pimlico, west London, and D'Arcy of Hanwell, admitted
committing an indecent act on 25 May. They also admitted lighting up a
cigarrette in a no-smoking carriage and were each find 50 pounds plus 25
pounds costs.
Both apologised to the court for their behaviour. When asked if they had
been drinking, Henderson said "We did have a few drinks at Margate. A few of
us went out with a works party on a day trip."
The article is not attributed to anyone so I suppose it depends whether you
believe everything you read in the papers !
Dave
John Switzer Frame 3.0
>As I understand it, the Arizona is *still* leaking fuel | oil.
That's true - you can see the small stains if you go to the Pearl Harbor
Memorial. Since that happened over 41 years ago, though, I have my suspicions
that an ultra-fancy, time-released mechanism has replaced the Arizona's tanks
which *must* be depleted by now. Perhaps Navy SEALs go down every week to
refill it? Maybe we can start a new UL?
Geoff Allen
>As I understand it, the Arizona is *still* leaking fuel | oil.
Well, at least it was in 1981.
And the ranger I chatted with at the monument only gets asked 52
gazillion times a day, ``Is that coming from the ship?''
(The other popular question is, ``Are the bodies really down there?''
He, of course, would politely answer the question instead of saying,
``Hey, stupid, can't you read the *signs* all around here telling you
the histroy of the ship?'' That's why he's a ranger and I'm not.)
ObUL: There is a scream at the end of the song ``Roller Coaster''
(a non-memorable disco song from the 70s by someone whose name I
don't remember) which is the scream of a woman who was murdered
during the recording of the song.
--
Geoff Allen \ It's an art, a craft, a science and, perhaps most of
uunet!pmafire!geoff \ all, a damnable obsession. But a most fulfilling one.
ge...@pmafire.inel.gov \ -- Barry Sherman on photography
Mcirvin
>Is this life imitating humour, or is this a gullible newspaper editor being
>taken in by a practical joke? Has this been reported anywhere outside these
>supposedly staid islands?
It made newspapers in the US, but that means little.
--
Matt McIrvin, Cambridge, Massachusetts, USA
Leif Magnar Kj|nn|y
Made the papers in Norway, too, for what that's worth. Who knows? It could even
be true.
Leif the .sigless
lei...@lise.unit.no
wil...@vax.oxford.ac.uk
> In article <1992Sep1.1...@vax.oxford.ac.uk> ba...@vax.oxford.ac.uk writes:
>>I've long since junked my old newspapers, but someone somewhere should
>>still be able to dig out the relevant story. The couple worked for the
>
> Well, in my newspapers to be recycled pile I found The Scotsman of Friday 7th
> August 92 which contained the following report.
>
> Have-it-awayday couple puffed out after sex show.
>
> Travellers packing a hot and humid British Rail train turned a blind eye as a
> couple on a works day-trip to Margate treated them to a full sex show, a court
> heard yesterday.
[etc]
Well, the Victoria Wood joke makes me suspicious of this, as does the fact that
it happened on a Sainsbury's warehouse works outing. (Does anyone know if
Sainsbury's Warshouses---or anywhere else for that matter---still has works
outings?) There is a notorious British hoaxer called Paul Ryan (or something
like that) who specialises in planting stories in the press. I suppose the only
way to resolve the issue is to dig up the Horseferry Road Magistrate's Court's
records for the day in question.
comp...@darwin.ntu.edu.au
> You know, it's odd that you should mention that. This story apparently
> appeared in the Independent a few weeks ago. I did not see it, but I was told
> about it by a friend. It also appeared as a quiz question on the News Quiz on
> the Radio, which confirms that the paper published it as a true story. The only
> things I can add are that the couple were both employed by Sainsbury's, one of
> Britain's largest supermarket chains, that they actually had full intercourse
> and that the carriage was packed with commuters.
>
> Now for the odd bit. This story was told as a joke by the comedian Victoria
> Wood in her show "Victoria Wood as seen on TV", which must have been first
> broadcast about two years ago. Since then I have heard the same show twice on
> the Radio, most recently about a fortnight ago, just after the newspaper story.
> Is this life imitating humour, or is this a gullible newspaper editor being
> taken in by a practical joke? Has this been reported anywhere outside these
> supposedly staid islands?
Yes. Australian papers picked up the story either last week or the week
before.
--
Glenn Wallace comp...@darwin.ntu.edu.au
Northern Territory University
Darwin, Northern Territory,
Australia, World, Universe, etc...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DISCLAIMER:
This is not necessarily the views of the management of this establishment:-
We just chain him up in that little cubby hole of his and leave him be!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Govender
>In article <1992Sep3.1...@vax.oxford.ac.uk>, wil...@vax.oxford.ac.uk writes:
>> You know, it's odd that you should mention that. This story apparently
>> appeared in the Independent a few weeks ago. I did not see it, but I was told
>> about it by a friend. It also appeared as a quiz question on the News Quiz on
>> the Radio, which confirms that the paper published it as a true story. The only
>> things I can add are that the couple were both employed by Sainsbury's, one of
>> Britain's largest supermarket chains, that they actually had full intercourse
>> and that the carriage was packed with commuters.
>>
>> Now for the odd bit. This story was told as a joke by the comedian Victoria
>> Wood in her show "Victoria Wood as seen on TV", which must have been first
>> broadcast about two years ago. Since then I have heard the same show twice on
>> the Radio, most recently about a fortnight ago, just after the newspaper story.
>> Is this life imitating humour, or is this a gullible newspaper editor being
>> taken in by a practical joke? Has this been reported anywhere outside these
>> supposedly staid islands?
>Yes. Australian papers picked up the story either last week or the week
>before.
the south african newspapers also reported it.apparently the couple only
performed "oral sex" and the rest of the passengers only complained when
the couple took up more space than necessary (or some other form of
inconvenience).very odd priorities.....the couple were apparently fined.
morgan govender
gove...@shannon.ee.wits.ac.za
james joseph lysaght
>In <1992Sep8.1...@darwin.ntu.edu.au> comp...@darwin.ntu.edu.au writes:
>>In article <1992Sep3.1...@vax.oxford.ac.uk>, wil...@vax.oxford.ac.uk writes:
>>> Is this life imitating humour, or is this a gullible newspaper editor being
>>> taken in by a practical joke? Has this been reported anywhere outside these
>>> supposedly staid islands?
I remember a similar life immitating humour story... There was an
episode of "Night Court" where the sleezy, bang everything in a skirt,
prosecuting attorney, Dan Fielding made an offhand reference to having
done it with someone on the baggage claim carousel at the airport. The
following day or two as a bunch of people were waiting for there lugage
at the local airport a couple was seen on the baggage claim carousel
amidst the luggage "a-slammin and a-bammin". When asked where they got
the idea to something so stupid they supposedly said "Night Court".
I can understand this, Dan Fielding is my hero :-) :-) :-)
Jim
Charles Lasner
>
>I remember a similar life immitating humour story... There was an
>episode of "Night Court" where the sleezy, bang everything in a skirt,
>prosecuting attorney, Dan Fielding made an offhand reference to having
>done it with someone on the baggage claim carousel at the airport. The
>following day or two as a bunch of people were waiting for there lugage
>at the local airport a couple was seen on the baggage claim carousel
>amidst the luggage "a-slammin and a-bammin". When asked where they got
>the idea to something so stupid they supposedly said "Night Court".
Wasn't there a TV movie with Linda Blair (Loss of Innocence?) that was blamed
for a real-life incident involving 4 girls raping another girl with a
broomstick? (And it was never reshown?)
Wasn't there another TV movie that explored the network's responsibility in
such a case?
Did any of this have anything to do with the movie about censorship called
The Seven Minutes which was directed by Russ Meyer, who also directed
Porn films such as The Revenge of the Supervixens.
ObFact: In the movie Amazon Women on the Moon, the skit where the guy rents
a movie just for him, and eventually has a runin with the video girl's
boy-friend (played by Andrew Dice Clay), the sleazy guy behind the counter
who rents the tape *is* Russ Meyer.
ObQuestion: is Amazon Women on the Moon taken more from Cat Women of the Moon
aka Rocket to the Moon, or a movie I believe is called Missile to the Moon
(with Cathy Downs) (which I can't find in Steven H. Scheuer's movie guide, but
I'm certain I've seen; perhaps I have the title wrong? It's definitely not
the movie with Sonny Tufts and Marie Windsor.)
ObQuestion2: It is understandable that the TV version of Amazon Women on the
Moon is censored to remove the nudity in a few scenes, but I also noticed
that a few seconds here and there are removed from the rental version yet
added to the TV version; Scheuer goes further to point out that there is
are entire skits added to the TV version, one starring Dick Miller and
Jenny Agutter. Why would a rental version be uncensored for nudity yet remove
insignificent (and according to Scheuer, perhaps significent as well) scraps
of the original?
cjl
barth.richards
In article <1992Sep17.1...@news.columbia.edu> las...@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner) writes:
>Moon is censored to remove the nudity in a few scenes, but I also noticed
>that a few seconds here and there are removed from the rental version yet
>added to the TV version; Scheuer goes further to point out that there is
>are entire skits added to the TV version, one starring Dick Miller and
>Jenny Agutter. Why would a rental version be uncensored for nudity yet remove
>insignificent (and according to Scheuer, perhaps significent as well) scraps
>of the original?
>
This is not uncommon. ALIENS and BLAZING SADDLES are two others that I
can think of that had extra scenes reinstated for the TV versions. Why
they do it, I'm not sure. I also remember that ANIMAL HOUSE actually had
alternate takes of scenes, in one case with women in bras and panties where
some of them were topless in the theatrical release, and in another case to
replace four-letter words with less offensive ones (and you could tell that
they were NOT overdubbed).
Citecheck Hell
>for a real-life incident involving 4 girls raping another girl with a
>broomstick? (And it was never reshown?)
I think it was a coke bottle. There was some sort of lawsuit, but I
forget how it was resolved. Don't think the network ended up liable.
>ObQuestion2: It is understandable that the TV version of Amazon Women on the
>Moon is censored to remove the nudity in a few scenes, but I also noticed
>that a few seconds here and there are removed from the rental version yet
>added to the TV version; Scheuer goes further to point out that there is
>are entire skits added to the TV version, one starring Dick Miller and
>Jenny Agutter. Why would a rental version be uncensored for nudity yet remove
>insignificent (and according to Scheuer, perhaps significent as well) scraps
>of the original?
Possibility 1: Once all of the nudity's cut, the movie's too short. Thus,
they add outtakes to get it to fill the running time.
Possibility 2: The original producers cut the skits, deciding they didn't
like them, but didn't keep enough creative control to be able to
keep them out of the TV version (cf. TV version of Brazil, where
voice-overs are added to read to illiterate viewers the words
appearing on computer screens, and the dream sequence is reshown
out-of-focus so viewers won't become confused and not realize
it's a dream. Anyway, the European version of the movie is
better than the American version of the movie, which in turn
is better than the TV cut-to-ribbons version of the movie, which
changed the ending, much as how the original version of Blade
Runner changed the ending so moviegoers wouldn't be confused by
any sense of ambiguity, plus have the additional benefit of
Harrison Ford narrate any of the hard-to-understand scenes).
ObQuestion: I last saw the old version of Blade Runner in 1989 (at the
Brattle, in a double feature with Metropolis, whose sets were
plagiarized for the Batman movies). I recognized which scenes
were in that version that weren't in the director's cut, but I
couldn't tell which scenes in the director's cut weren't in
the original movie.
--
.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..
ted frank | th...@midway.uchicago.edu | standard disclaimers
the university of chicago law school, chicago, illinois 60637
snopes
In article <1992Sep17....@midway.uchicago.edu>,
th...@ellis.uchicago.edu (Citecheck Hell) writes...
>Possibility 1: Once all of the nudity's cut, the movie's too short.
Now *there's* a movie I want to see.
Didn't John Holmes once make a three-way . . . oh, never mind.
- snopes
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| "It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages |
| women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, |
| destroy capitalism, and become lesbians." |
| |
| Pat Robertson, on the equal-rights amendment |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| David Mikkelson Digital Equipment Corporation, Culver City, CA USA |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
snopes
>I think it was a coke bottle. There was some sort of lawsuit, but I
>forget how it was resolved. Don't think the network ended up liable.
If there had been a gerbil in the coke bottle, that could have been one heck of
a lawsuit.
Charles Lasner
But why wouldn't the video-rental versions have the scenes restored?
cjl
your mom
>
>a movie just for him, and eventually has a runin with the video girl's
>boy-friend (played by Andrew Dice Clay), the sleazy guy behind the counter
>who rents the tape *is* Russ Meyer.
>
Re:ObFact: Who is the chick with the huge hooters in theis skit??
Charles Lasner
>
>>ObQuestion2: It is understandable that the TV version of Amazon Women on the
>>Moon is censored to remove the nudity in a few scenes, but I also noticed
>>that a few seconds here and there are removed from the rental version yet
>>added to the TV version; Scheuer goes further to point out that there is
>>are entire skits added to the TV version, one starring Dick Miller and
>>Jenny Agutter. Why would a rental version be uncensored for nudity yet remove
>>insignificent (and according to Scheuer, perhaps significent as well) scraps
>>of the original?
>
>Possibility 1: Once all of the nudity's cut, the movie's too short. Thus,
> they add outtakes to get it to fill the running time.
There is no cutting, just no nudity; scenes are cropped not removed; the
TV version is just longer in spurts here and there, plus whole new sections
for a total length change of about +15-20 minutes over the screen/video
versions which I believe are identical.
Remember, this is the movie that brings us Don "No Soul" Simmons. The '50's
style of whichever of the two moon bimbos movies it's a ripoff of (both?) is
priceless. Since both Robert Colbert and Laird Craigar (sp?) are veterans
of the "real" movies of this type, it took my noticing that the guy added
for comedy relief was Joey Travolta to realize that this wasn't just a
movie I had missed years ago, the first time I saw that part. Until then,
and for a few minutes at least, I though it was some sort of hatchet job on
a real '50's movie, not a credible fake of one.
cj "Selma!" l