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Danny Deger

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May 27, 2007, 11:10:58 PM5/27/07

Take a look at this section from my autobiography draft. I think I have the
tense down OK. I haven't read it in a couple of weeks, but I wasn't using
present tense on purpose when I wrote it. I am still in the process of
fixing the tense in the rest of the draft.

I attempted to use some tounge and check humor. I would like to know if it
made you chuckle at least once :-) The end of the last paragraph contains
some foreshadowing on what was in store from me later in my career and will
come out later in the book.

As always, thanks for any help.

Danny Deger

The next day I make it to Houston, and I walked onto Johnson Space Center.
I was 6 years old when John Glenn orbited the Earth and from that moment I
have dedicated my life to manned space flight and the defense of my country.
My military work started out as a "training school" for manned space flight.
I left military service in 1985 and I was offered a job as an astronaut
instructor. But, I was convinced by a brilliant man that latter became my
mentor, manned space flight was a moot point if the Communist took over the
Earth. I agreed with him and delayed my entry into space flight to help
fight the Russians as a design engineer for guided missiles. I guess I did
a good job. In 1900 peace broke out and I could with a clear conscience
stop designing machines to blow up and kill Russians and build machines to
take us into space.

I recall so clearly my first unescorted walk through the floor that held the
astronauts. I was in heaven. I didn't talk to anyone. Just the fact that
as part of my job I could walk up a couple of stairs and be in their hallway
was so thrilling. I rededicated my life to getting us off the planet Earth
before the Sun goes Red Giant. I am still dedicated to this principle.

So far so good, but I hit a major snag early -- making viewgraphs. In my
job from about 1985 until 1990 I was largely a "salesman of weapons of mass
destruction". I don't say this tongue and cheek. I was great at
probability theory, a better than average fighter pilot, well versed in
ground and naval warfare, and an excellent presenter. I would do analysis,
put the briefing together, and help show our customer how good our "weapons
of mass destruction" were. Early in my career I did agree that one
attribute of our competitor's system was better than ours. After the
customer left my boss told me "Don't ever give in an inch. Our system is
better than theirs in everyway."

The big boss was in the room and disagreed, "Danny's honesty is going to
help us out. We overall have the better system, but when he agrees that we
can't do everything for everyone our customer will trust him. They will
realize if Danny says our bomb will do something, our bomb can do exactly
that."

This honesty served me well until I came to NASA. It is my opinion if you
don't lie at NASA you will not get ahead. I have said several times to many
people, in public forums, "Do you know what a meeting of NASA managers is?
It is a bunch a people in a room lying to each other." NASA is much better
than it was, but it still has a long way to go.

Back to the transparencies: As a "bomb salesman" I made literally hundreds
if not thousands of transparencies using a copy machine. I had been doing
this since 1985. You open up the drawer of the copier, put in the
transparency film, put your work in the feeder and hit "Start". As fast as
the machine can run you get transparencies.

At NASA I was an astronaut instructor at first. We made LOTS of
transparencies. This was before Power Point. We used a thermographic
machine to make transparencies. It was purely and simply like chiseling
messages on a stone tablet when compared to using a copy machine. First you
had to make copies on a copy machine, because the process took most of the
ink off of the original. Then you had to carefully put the original and the
blank blue sheet together and feed them one page at a time to a machine that
used heat to transfer the ink to the blue sheet and make a transparency. It
was really, really, really slow. The quality was also horrible. You couldn't
use a regular size font, because the resolution was too low. Graphics also
came out looking horrible.

"This will be so easy", I thought. I am working for the same people that
took us to the moon. As soon as I get the word out how to use a copy
machine and save lots and lots of time - I will be a hero. Not so easy. I
didn't know I was working for an organization with a narcissistic management
system. I didn't know about the term "narcissistic" at that time because
NASA had not driven me insane yet. Later they would literally drive me
insane and to overcome my insanity I have extensively studied mental
disorders. One key attribute of narcissism is a complete lack of ability to
say you are wrong. I am not even talking wrong about major issues.
Narcissists can't admit the slightest mistake. It is essential that
everyone think they are perfect. NASA management is BIG TIME narcissistic.
I think this narcissistic trait is what was highlighted as the problem with
NASA culture in our two fatal accidents. Engineers are afraid to speak up
for fear of retribution from management.

I went to the secretary and asked to order some transparency film for the
copy machines. My first nightmare started, "You can't use the blue film in
the copy machines."

"I know", I said. "I don't want to use the blue film, it is obviously way
too thick and stiff. I wish to order the film that is designed for copy
machines".

"They don't make film for copy machines. You have to use the thermographic
machines."

This will be easy I thought. As soon as I explain I have in my other job
made hundreds if not thousands of transparencies in a copy machine, she will
gladly order the correct product and we can save lots of time and money. I
told her "I have only been here a few days. In my last job we used copy
machines. They operate much, much faster and make a better copy. We just
need to order the correct product and we will be set."

"Well we must have a different type of copy machine, because these machines
will not make transparencies," she replied.

I am starting to realize NASA is "different" but I have not lost hope yet.
I tell her, "I have been making transparencies for many years in many
different copiers. I used to travel with many blank transparencies in my
brief case to make them at a moments notice on travel. I was not the only
one. This was common practice. I have in all of my travels never heard of
a copier that can't make a transparency. We just need to order the right
product".

"You didn't hear me, our copiers can't make transparencies." I was starting
to look for Ron Seward and listen for the theme song from the Twilight Zone.

I decided to compromise and agree with her, "OK, I understand this model for
some reason can't. How about a different model somewhere else on site?
What models do we have elsewhere?" This is where I was first introduced to
the time honored tradition at NASA - If you get painted into a corner, just
tell a big fat lie - Make up what ever you need to win the argument.

Here is what she said "None of the copy machines at Johnson Space Center can
make transparencies." I knew she had just made this up on the cuff. I knew
further discussion was pointless. My first taste of NASA narcissism was
giving me heart burn.

I thought our machine looked like the machine I had just been using at
General Dynamics Fort Worth. I got the make and model off of the machine at
NASA - an IBM Model 70. I called a buddy of mine back at the Old Fort Worth
Bomber Factory and asked about the copier in our office space - an IBM Model
70. OK, A SLAM DUNK!!!! Same make and model as what I have at NASA. How
can they fight this evidence? I was just about to get a strong dose in how
sick NASA was and to a lesser degree still is - FACTS DON'T MATTER - AFTER A
DECISION IS MADE, ALL DISCUSSION IS STOPPED. And all discussion was
stopped. I talked to the secretary and told her this new piece of
information. Our copier was the same make and model. I even had the specs
on the type of transparencies needed. This is where I found out the real
problem. "Mabel is the secretary for Mission Operations Directorate and she
has forbidden the use of transparencies in copy machines. They get stuck in
the machines and make a mess"

"OK I said. This must be based on someone using the blue, very thick,
thermographic transparencies. Let me talk to her and I will tell her we can
save lots of time using copy machines. Those thermo machines are obsolete."

"You don't understand. The decision has been made. We don't use copy
machines to make transparencies."

"Can I talk to her?"

"No, she is too busy."

Let me interject here. I have met Mabel. She is a lovely lady. She is a
great lady. She is always nice and kind to me. Basically, I love her
dearly. I have no doubt if I had been granted an audience with her in 1990
about the transparencies and presented my case, in about 10 seconds she
would have been on the phone ordering boxes and boxes of transparencies for
copiers. But as it was and as it is, once management makes a decision --
that is it. To make the slightest effort to change the decision is lethal
to a career. I have consciously sacrificed my career and even my sanity it
turns out to try and change management decisions.

OK I thought, I will go to my management. My management balked. They
agreed with everything I had found out, but refused to raise a finger. They
agreed many, many man-hours were being wasted and believed in my statements
on the correct use of a copy machine to make transparencies. I was appalled
they would not lift a finger to implement the more efficient process for
their office. I realize now why. At NASA you don't make the slightest hint
of "rocking the boat". Even if your idea is positive, if it has the slight
hint of asking management to change a decision, you stop. Even the
slightest hint of "rocking the boat" causes the complete destruction of a
career at NASA. From that point on everything you do is wrong and NASA
management will use every tool at their disposal to reprimand you. It is
also impossible to recover. I don't blame my managers to fear the simple
step of using copy machines to make transparencies.

I get a copy of the Johnson Space Center (JSC) office supply catalog. I
find a transparency to use in laser printers. I order a box. They work
great in the IBM Model 70 copiers we have. I start an "underground
resistance" in the training division - order the laser printer
transparencies and use them in the copies.

I got quite a following. The copy machines were literally about 10 times
faster and made a better copy. But we started to get caught. We would
present our high quality, clear transparencies to our classes instead of the
blurry blue ones. I was questioned on if I was breaking the rules on the
use of copiers. I learned I had to hide the truth at NASA to survive, "Of
course not, I made these on the laser printer".

Finally I am called in for the "big questioning". I confess. They finally
agree to the overwhelming evidence our IBM Model 70s can make
transparencies, but they tell me the laser printer film is too expensive and
I need to go back to the lower cost hand fed system. I ask if the cost
includes man-hour spent hand feeding the sheets one at a time, vs. a single
push of the button. They tell me to stop making trouble and it doesn't
matter. NASA has the funds to pay an engineer to hand feed the old way, but
not the money to buy the higher cost copier machine product. I agree to
"stop making trouble." This lasted for a couple of days.

As an engineer I started wondering about the cost. The blue film is much
thicker than the copy machine film. My estimate was it had at least 3 times
the amount of plastic. Also, I had traveled many, many places and all I had
seen outside of NASA was the copy machine film. I came to the conclusion
that based on the amount of material and mass production potential I had
been told a "non-truth" about the cost of the films. I have learned this is
the way NASA management works. If you are the superior person in anyway,
you can simply make up lie after lie to force the decision you want. You
are immune from repercussion because if anyone calls you a liar, you then
lie to the local police and psych wards and have the person locked up for
weeks, declare them homicidal and destroy their career. Apparently NASA has
the power to convince a local judge to perform judicial misconduct to have
us not get a hearing or an attorney. A great system to allow people in
power to lie. Unfortunately for me, I didn't learn the system in time to
save my sanity from their abuse of power.

I got out the supply catalog. The blue thermo sheets cost about $20 for a
box of 50 and the clear "laser printer" ones about $12 a box. OK - ANOTHER
SLAM DUNK. It hit me that I might have a cost saving suggestion on this.
We must use lots and lots of boxes of this stuff at Johnson Space Center. I
called and asked the number of boxes of the expensive stuff we use. It was
a lot. I put in an official cost saving suggestion to convert from the
expensive stuff to the cheap stuff. I didn't even include the savings in
man-hours to not have to feed the old machine one page at a time. My 10%
was $4,000. I was looking forward to buying a used boat to run around
Galveston Bay. The official response comes back. "This is not a savings,
we have always used copy machines to make transparencies". I will not go
over the details of my appeal process to get my "boat" money, but even after
getting 3 witnesses in my behalf, I did loose. In retrospect I understand.
The people doing the appeal knew as everyone but I knew - don't buck the
system - they will destroy you if you buck them. I didn't buy my boat. We
continued to use the obsolete blue hand fed system for about 5 years.
Final, the manufacture pulled them off the market because nobody else was
using them. I should have learned my lesson and learned to shut up. But I
came to the conclusion NASA management was the number one reason NASA was so
bad. I decided to do my part to help fix it. I can say in retrospect I
failed completely in attempting to make NASA management better.