===================================================================== T H I S I S T H E .______________ .'`. / /| .' .' > .'_/ |_ ____/ .' .'.^. .'.v^.'`.| | | |.'`. .'`. .' .'.' A | | | A Y | | || A Y A | `. `| V | | | | V | | | || V | V | > | .| | | | | | | || | .' .' .'| P |/|/|/|/|/|/ | ||/|/| P |' .' | L | |' | L | .' |.' |.' |.' |.' / / / | F . U . Q . ===================================================================== Frequently Unasked Questions about Spinal Tap ===================================================================== Version 2.7 Last modified April 18, 2002 ===================================================================== Original author: Mike Wheeler Formerly maintained by Andrew De New Currently maintained by Joe Blevins ASCII logo by Veronica Karlsson ===================================================================== Basically, this is "Spinal Tap for Dummies." (Who else would be interested?) More specifically, this is a list of Frequently Unasked Questions about one of England's loudest bands, the now- legendary Spinal Tap. It is posted to alt.fan.spinal-tap on the eleventh day of each month. This is by no means a comprehensive reference work about the band. Rather, it attempts to be a concise guide to the basic facts about Spinal Tap. Send corrections, comments, mash notes, or additions to: joeblev@concentric.net PLEASE NOTE: When you e-mail me, _please_ put the words SPINAL TAP at the beginning of the subject heading. Thanks! If I don't respond the first time, try again. "But, hey, enough of my yakkin'. Whaddaya say, let's boogie!" -MARTY DI BERGI ===================================================================== TABLE OF CONTENTS ===================================================================== Updated sections marked with an asterisk. New sections are marked with an exclamation point. 1.0 History 1.1 What the heck is Spinal Tap anyway? 1.2 When did Spinal Tap begin? 1.3 What have Spinal Tap been up to since the movie came out? 1.4 What is a spinal tap, technically? 1.5 What is the band's sign? 1.6 What are some common myths about the band? 2.0 "This Is Spinal Tap": 2.1 What is "This Is Spinal Tap" (TIST)? 2.2 Is "TIST" available on VHS? * 2.3 Is "TIST" available in PAL format? 2.4 Is Tap available on DVD? 2.5 How can I purchase the "TIST" laserdisc? 2.6 How can I purchase the "TIST" CD-ROM? 2.7 What about the 4.5-hour bootleg version? 3.0 Members: 3.1 Who are the members of Spinal Tap? 3.2 How many drummers have been in Spinal Tap? 3.3 What killed the Spinal Tap drummers? 3.4 Who writes the music for Spinal Tap? 3.5 What bands had the members been in before joining Tap? 3.6 What bands were formed by ex-members of Spinal Tap? 4.0 Albums: 4.1 How many albums has Spinal Tap released? 4.2 What are the names of these albums? 4.3 Why can't I find most of these albums? 4.4 Which albums are still available? 4.5 Are "Smell the Glove" and the "TIST" soundtrack the same album? 4.6 Didn't I see "Heavy Metal Memories" for sale on CD? 5.0 Singles, Videos, and Album Tracks: 5.1 What are some of Spinal Tap's greatest hits? 5.2 When were some of the best-known songs released? 5.3 Which music videos have Spinal Tap made? 5.4 Where can I get Spinal Tap lyrics? 5.5. Where can I get Spinal Tap tablatures? 6.0 Tap Online: 6.1 Does Spinal Tap have an e-mail address? 6.2 Does Spinal Tap have an official web site? 6.3 Where can I find Chip Rowe's A to Zed guide? 6.4 Where can I find links to other Spinal Tap web pages? 6.5 Why did this newsgroup get so much pornographic spam? 6.6 Where can I find "TIST" audio files? 7.0 Merchandise: 7.1 What Spinal Tap merchandise can I buy? 7.2 Where can I find a book about Spinal Tap? 7.3 Was there yet *another* book about Tap? * 7.4 Where can I find Spinal Tap t-shirts? 7.5 Are there Spinal Tap action figures? 8.0 The Mysteries of Tap 8.1 What is "barbershop raga"? 8.2 Was there a Saint Hubbins? 8.3 Are there any Spinal Tap cover bands? 8.4 Why is there an umlaut over the "n" in Spinal Tap? 8.5 Can I visit Stonehenge without going to England? 8.6 Aren't there some "inconsistencies" in TIST? 9.0 Great Debates 9.1 What are the top eleven essential "Spinal Tap" quotes? 9.2 What are some other great "TIST" quotes? 9.3 What are some quotes from the "TIST" outtakes? 9.4 Are they real? 10.0 Acknowledgements: 10.1 Who's responsible for this thing, anyway? 10.2 Who else deserves thanks? EPILOGUE ===================================================================== SECTION 1.0 - HISTORY ===================================================================== "No page in history, baby, that I don't need. I just wanna make some eardrums bleed." - DAVID ST. HUBBINS ===================================================================== 1.1 WHAT THE HECK IS SPINAL TAP ANYWAY? Spinal Tap is an aging, accident-prone British heavy metal group which has toured and recorded off and on since 1966. The group has endured dozens of personnel changes (especially with its drummers), but the nucleus of the band remains the same: David St. Hubbins (lead vocals), Nigel Tufnel (lead guitar), and Derek Smalls (bass). See Section 3.1 and Section 3.2 for more information about the band's lineup changes. Although the group's popularity has fluctuated throughout the years, Spinal Tap has always had a hardcore fan base. These die-hard fans are known as Tapheads, a term coined by rockumentarian Marty DiBergi. 1.2 WHEN DID SPINAL TAP BEGIN? Technically, Spinal Tap's first performance was a gig at a London club called the Music Membrane in December, 1966, but the roots of the band go back to 1964, when St. Hubbins and Tufnel formed a group called the Originals. During the first two years of its existence, the group went through a variety of names, including the New Originals, Thamesmen, Dutchmen, Ravebreakers, Doppel Gang, Silver Service, Bisquits, Love Bisquits, and the Tufnel-St. Hubbins Group before finally settling on Spinal Tap in 1966. In 1967, Derek Smalls joined the band (replacing Ronnie Pudding), and the group enjoyed the biggest hit of its career with "(Listen to) The Flower People." A complete timeline of the band's history is available here: http://www.spinaltapfan.com/articles/timeline.html That takes you to the amazing Spinal Tap site run by Chip Rowe. This FUQ will refer you many times to that site, which is clearly *the* best online source of information about Tap. It will be referenced many times in this document. 1.3 WHAT HAVE SPINAL TAP BEEN UP TO SINCE THE MOVIE CAME OUT? Much. The band fell apart after the Japanese reunion tour documented at the end of "This Is Spinal Tap" in 1983, but reunited in 1991 for an album, "Break Like the Wind," and a live tour. The reunion tour is documented in the home video, "The Return of Spinal Tap" (MPI Home Video, catalogue number MP6266). The band went on hiatus after the tour in 1992, surfacing only for an IBM commercial in 1996 in which they sang a new song, "Goat Boy." To purchase "The Return of Spinal Tap," go here: http://www.spinaltapfan.com/spinal-tap-store.html In the summer of 2000, with "This Is Spinal Tap" being rereleased on video and DVD (as well as to theaters), the members of Spinal Tap reunited once again for a whirlwind of promotional appearances and a handful of live shows. Recently, the band has appeared on VH1's "The List" as well as "The Daily Show with John Stewart" and "The Late Show with David Letterman." On September 6, 2000, VH1 devoted an entire episode of its "Where Are They Now" series to Spinal Tap. Recently, Tap has released a new song called "Back From the Dead." You can download an MP3 of the song for free from: http://www.spinaltap.com [NOTE: The Tapster.com website is no longer up. There's still a website with that URL, but it has nothing to do with Spinal Tap.] After recording a commentary track for the MGM DVD in 2000, the still-vital men of Spinal Tap reunited for a handful of live shows, mainly in California. Greek Theater, Los Angeles - June 1 Sun Theater, Anaheim - June 6 Humphreys, San Diego - June 12 On June 4, 2001, Spinal Tap acheived something of a landmark by playing the famed Carnegie Hall in NYC with special guests The Folksmen. "Dale Carnegie must be rolling in his grave," commented Nigel. The show included a guest appearance by Elvis Costello and merited a write-up in ROLLING STONE. More recently, the band did a one-shot performance with Tenacious D. "We were doing this benefit," said Tenacious D's Jack Black, "and our manager said we should try to get Spinal Tap on the bill. They said yes, and history was forged." Black called the charity gig "the best show that's ever happened." Derek Smalls claimed he did the gig to get a couple of instruments out of hock. The evening's highlight was apparently a Tenacious/Tap version of "Big Bottom." Anybody got a tape of this show? E-mail me. So what have the individual members of the band been up to? Well... DAVID ST. HUBBINS eventually married his longtime girlfriend, Jeanine Pettibone, and together they ran two business in Pomona, California: the Drippery and Potato Republic. In his spare time, David worked on his golf game and even coached a girl's soccer team. In the mid- 1990s, David occasionally appeared in ads for the ESPN cable channel. By early 2000, however, David and Jeanine had divorced on friendly terms. Lately, David has been communing with nature and has become fascinated by Native American rituals. Jeanine now runs a website called Herbal Harmony, which sells herbs online. NIGEL TUFNEL retreated to England to work on his inventions, including the folding wine glass. Nigel also developed a knack for communicating with animals and adopted a ferret named Trevor. This led him into charity work for his favorite cause, "Travel For Animals." In 1995, Nigel became a junior ichthyologist at the Aquarium of the Pacific in Southern California, where he was recently promoted to "the big tank." DEREK SMALLS took over his father's phone sanitation business. Unfortunately, business went downhill in the '90s because most people realized they could buy some "blue stuff" and sanitize their own phones. Smalls has also played with a Christian heavy metal band, Lambsblood, and unsuccessfully invested in real estate. In 1998, Derek realized his dream of working with children, landing a job as a "floater" (jack-of-all-trades) at a primary school. RIC SHRIMPTON, a recent Tap drummer, spent part of the 1990s drumming for a band called Brown Ring. But there are rumors that Ric has since passed away from causes unknown. 1.4 WHAT IS A SPINAL TAP, TECHNICALLY? It depends on whom you ask. According to Dr. Robert Sangster M.D. R.M.S. on alt.fan.spinal-tap: "Sufferers of slipped disks frequently complain of a flowing sensation between their spine disks, after tranquiliser administration. This is known in medical terms as 'SPINAL TAP,' as one can feel the annoying sensation of their intervertebral disks being crushed between the cartilage tissue connected to the spinal bones." However, this is not the generally accepted definition of the term "spinal tap." The more common definition is found in Webster's Medical Desk Dictionary, which defines a spinal tap as a "puncture of the subarachnoid space in the lumbar region of the spinal cord to withdraw cerebrospinal fluid or inject anaesthetic drugs. Called also lumbar puncture." I do not know who Dr. Sangster is and cannot vouch for the accuracy of his definition of the term. I'm sure, however, that the fine folks at Webster's know what they're talking about. There's an explanation of the procedure here: http://kidshealth.org/parent/system/medical/lumbar_puncture.html 1.5 WHAT IS THE BAND'S SIGN? According to Jeanine, the band's sign is Virgo. Coincidentally, it's my sign, too. As for the individual band members: Viv Savage = Libra (scales) Derek Smalls = Cancer (crab) David St. Hubbins = Leo (lion) Nigel Tufnel = Capricorn (goat) 1.6 WHAT ARE SOME COMMON MYTHS ABOUT THE BAND? As with most major acts in rock history, Spinal Tap have generated dozens of rumors, falsehoods, and myths. One common myth is that the members of Spinal Tap are not a real band at all, but merely actors pretending to be rock stars. This myth probably stems from the fact that they appeared in a well-known movie, "This Is Spinal Tap." For the record, "TIST" is a documentary, not a work of fiction. (See Section 2.0 for more information.) A silly related myth is that David is "played" by the same actor who played Lenny on "Laverne & Shirley," while filmmaker Martin DiBergi, the director of "TIST," is really Meathead from "All in the Family." There's even a story that Nigel appeared in one episode of "All in the Family" as Meathead's college roommate. This is obvious nonsense. It is also untrue that Nigel Tufnel is married to actress Jamie Lee Curtis. Although Ms. Curtis is an admitted groupie, Tufnel remains a lifelong bachelor. ===================================================================== SECTION 2.0 - "THIS IS SPINAL TAP" ===================================================================== "I wanted to capture the sights, the sounds, the smells of a hard- working rock band on the road." - MARTY DiBERGI ===================================================================== 2.1 WHAT IS "THIS IS SPINAL TAP" (TIST)? "This Is Spinal Tap" (1984) is a documentary -- or "rockumentary" -- about Tap's disastrous 1982 tour to support the "Smell the Glove" album. It was directed by Martin "Marty" DiBergi, a former director of TV commercials. At the time of the movie, Tap's line-up consisted of David, Nigel, and Derek, plus keyboardist Viv Savage and drummer Mick Shrimpton. Also featured prominently in the film are Ian Faith, the group's manager at the time, and Jeanine Pettibone, David's rather pushy girlfriend. Although the movie brought a lot of new attention to Spinal Tap, the band considers it a hatchet job and are not on speaking terms with DiBergi. A complete transcript of the movie is available at: http://www.spinaltapfan.com/articles Also, Chip Rowe offers an Adobe Acrobat version of the script at his site under the "Articles" section. Karl French's book "This Is Spinal Tap: The Official Compendium" is another place to find a transcript. See Section 7.2 for more details about French's book. For several years, the rights to the film passed from company to company, but now MGM owns "This Is Spinal Tap" and is making the film available to consumers again. On September 8, 2000, "This Is Spinal Tap" was rereleased theatrically in eleven markets, and on September 12, the film was rereleased on DVD and VHS. In the fall of 2000, the film was rereleased in the UK by Optimum Releasing and played from September to December. http://www.optimumreleasing.com/ 2.2 IS "TIST" AVAILABLE ON VHS? Yes. MGM rereleased "TIST" on VHS in September, 2000. The tape also contains the "Bitch School" video and retails for $14.95. It can be purchased from: http://www.spinaltapfan.com/spinal-tap-store.html This is the third major release of "This Is Spinal Tap" on VHS. The original version was from Embassy (catalogue number VHS 2081) and contained an odd message at the end about the Easter Bunny. The second version was from New Line Home Video (catalogue number 75723) and was subtitled "25th Anniversary Version." It included videos for "Hell Hole" and "Bitch School" as well as the "Heavy Metal Memories" commercial. The Embassy and New Line videos are now both scarce commodities. Before the MGM rerelease, the movie was often difficult to find. David St. Hubbins said that the movie was "hard to rent because people say, 'Let's get loaded and watch Spinal Tap,' then never return it." On a personal note, I'd like to thank Rick Dunning for donating his copy of the Embassy version to my Spinal Tap collection. 2.3 IS "TIST" AVAILABLE IN PAL FORMAT? Happily, for you European fans, the answer is yes. (At least for now.) And Chip Rowe now has links to purchase the PAL version from Black Star. http://www.spinaltapfan.com/spinal-tap-store.html Svein I Halvorsen informs us that "The Return of Spinal Tap" was also rereleased in Europe, and that the DVD is available as a Region 2 disk from Black Star. Taphead Martin Jonker gives us the pertinent information on the two PAL tapes. "This Is Spinal Tap" "The Return of Spinal Tap" BMG Video (74321-489003) Second Sight Films (2nd 1060) Re-release of the movie Royal Albert Hall Concert Aspect ratio = 1.75:1 With interviews, etc. Suitable for viewers over 15 Parental guidance suggested Theme: spoof rock documentary Language: occasional, strong Sex/nudity: one mild reference Violence: none Obviously, BMG Video doesn't consider Ian's use of the cricket bat to be violent. After all, it *is* just a totemistic thing. According to Martin, the sleeve for the "TIST" video promises that BMG will soon release something called "Spinal Tap: The Lost Footage." Unfortunately, I've recently been informed that the "TIST" video was released in Europe in 1997, and *nothing* has been released since then. It looks unlikely that there will be a "Lost Footage" video released there. (Thanks to mike@nipperland.co.uk for that information.) Chip Rowe says: "I think 'the lost footage' was probably a reference to the Criterion DVD edition. I have added links to the PAL version and DVD version from an outfit in London called iMVS on my products page." The sleeve for "Return of Spinal Tap" does not clearly indicate that this is the Royal Albert Hall concert. The story on the sleeve only mentions that that Spinal Tap is "captured here in a whole new feature length 'rockumentary.'" 2.4 IS "TIST" AVAILABLE ON DVD (DIGITAL VIDEO DISC)? Yes. MGM rereleased "This Is Spinal Tap" on DVD on September 12, 2000. The DVD features commentary from the members of Spinal Tap, plus more than 100 minutes of supplemental material, including more than an hour of rare footage and never-before-seen outtakes. Also on the DVD are four music videos, three rare commercials, a Flower People press conference and Tap's appearance on "The Joe Franklin Show." This is the second version of the DVD to be released. The first was a Criterion Collection edition that was nearly identical to the laserdisc version described in Section 2.5. The Criterion DVD is no longer available commercially, but copies can fetch $125 on Ebay. The two major items missing from the Criterion DVD (as opposed to the Criterion laserdisc) are a section called "Structuring Spinal Tap" and rare footage of the band performing "Rock & Roll Nightmare." It should be noted that the MGM and Criterion DVDs do *not* have identical content. There are trailers and outtakes on the Criterion disc that do not appear on the MGM disc, and the MGM disc has material that does not appear on the Criterion version. A short film called "Catching Up with Marty DiBergi," for instance is an MGM exclusive, while only the Criterion version has "Spinal Tap: The Final Tour." Completists will want to own both DVDs. The footage of Spinal Tap on "The Joe Franklin Show" is exclusive to the MGM version, but only the Criterion DVD will give you both versions of the "Cheese Rolling in Denmark" trailer. Just get 'em both and stop worrying. UPDATE FOR EUROPEAN FANS: The Region 2 DVD of "This Is Spinal Tap" was released on October 16, 2000. See Chip Rowe's products page for information about ordering: http://www.spinaltapfan.com/spinal-tap-store.html 2.5 HOW CAN I PURCHASE THE "TIST" LASERDISC? The Criterion CAV laserdisc (CC 1390L) is no longer available commercially. Look for it on auction sites. Extra features on the laserdisc include: * Commentary tracks by the people who made the movie * Original industry and theatrical trailers * A twenty-minute demo reel called "Spinal Tap: The Last Tour" * Over an hour of deleted scenes * Production notes and tons of promotional stuff * Rare footage of Tap performing "Rock & Roll Nightmare" The Criterion laserdisc is almost exactly the same as the Criterion DVD, except that the DVD does not contain "Rock & Roll Nightmare," some promotional photos, and a section called "Structuring Spinal Tap," which contains some notes that DiBergi and his crew made while filming and editing the movie. Taphead Dan Harkless informs me that there were two OTHER laserdisc releases of "This Is Spinal Tap." There was a simple pan-and-scan transfer (Nelson 20815) with no notable extra features. There was also a Criterion CLV release (CC 1471L) which was letterboxed but lacked the extra features. Make sure you know what you're buying on Ebay. (And thanks, Dan.) 2.6 HOW CAN I PURCHASE THE "TIST" CD-ROM? The CD-ROM is no longer available commercially. Look for it at auction sites, I guess. Please be aware that the CD-ROM contains most of the features from the DVD and laserdisc, but only has 10 deleted scenes out of the 32 included on the LD/DVD version. 2.7 WHAT ABOUT THE 4.5-HOUR BOOTLEG VERSION? Diehard Tap fans might want to purchase the 4.5-hour bootleg version of "This Is Spinal Tap," also known as "Spinal Tap: The Work Cut." Video Search of Miami (ascucinema@aol.com) offers the bootleg version for $75 + $5 postage. VSOM is a legitimate business. You can use your credit card to pay for your purchase, and you are guaranteed to receive your copy. VSOM is on the web at: http://www.vsom.com WARNING: There are people claiming to offer the tape for as little as $20. These people advertise occasionally on alt.fan.spinal-tap and other film-related Usenet newsgroups. However, very frequently, these people are just rip-off artists. They take your money and send you nothing in return. You get no tape and end up feeling like a schlub. THIS HAS HAPPENED TO SPINAL TAP FANS BEFORE! I cannot recommend any of these dealers. If you get ripped-off, don't come crying to me. You should've gone to VSOM in the first place. A site called Bizarro Video is selling the 4.5-hour version for only $45.00. Their URL is: http://www.bizarrovideo.com Look in the "Miscellaneous" section. I have not dealt with Bizarro Video, so I can't say if it's a ripoff. However, their site DOES accept credit cards, and it looks legit. PROCEED WITH EXTREME CAUTION. Tapheads and their money are soon parted. The quality of the bootleg version is not especially good. The sound is adequate, but the picture is a bit blurry. You have to be a pretty hardcore Tap fan to sit through all 270 minutes of footage. If you do, you'll be surprised how little made it to the final theatrical cut of "TIST." Clearly, there's enough footage for at least two films here. Whether there's enough for two *interesting* films is a matter of debate. If you're not sure about all of this, there's information about the tape at Chip's web site. ===================================================================== SECTION 3.0 - GROUP LINE-UP ===================================================================== "You've got to understand that, like, in the world of rock & roll, there are certain changes that sometimes occur." - DAVID ST. HUBBINS ===================================================================== 3.1 WHO ARE THE MEMBERS OF SPINAL TAP? The group's line-up is as volatile as any in rock, but the three principal, permanent members of Spinal Tap are: * DAVID ST. HUBBINS (guitar, lead vocals) - the blond-haired, somewhat pretentious frontman with a penchant for overblown pomp and New Age gibberish. David almost always handles the lead vocals. * NIGEL TUFNEL (lead guitar) - the innocent, confused manchild who is David's oldest and dearest friend and closest collaborator. He has a cherished guitar collection. Nigel occasionally sings lead on songs like "America" and "Hell Hole." * DEREK SMALLS (bass) - the sardonic, pipe-smoking realist and resident peacemaker of the group. Known for his muttonchop facial hair, Derek is probably Tap's smartest member. Derek sings lead on "Cash on Delivery." During the 1982 filming of "TIST," David told Marty DiBergi that 37 people had been in the band over the years. Only twenty of those people, however, had been documented. The missing 17 were likely short-term members of the band during the turbulent years of 1965 and 1966. As of today, the total number of current and former members of Spinal Tap stands at 44. Chip Rowe has compiled the most complete list, which is reprinted below. (WARNING: Some spellings are approximate. Records of Spinal Tap's lineup changes are extremely spotty and at times contradictory.) Name (Instrument) Years with Spinal Tap ----------------- --------------------- Jimmy Adams (horn) 1965-1966 Lhasa Apso (vocals) 1965-1966 Joe "Mama" Besser (drums) 1982 Peter "James" Bond (drums) 1974-1977 Tony Brixton (keyboards) 1965-1966 Eric "Stumpy Joe" Childs (drums) 1969-1974 Geoff Clovington (horn) 1965-1966 Jan van der Kvelk (keyboards) 1965 Mick Fleetwood (drums) 2000 Dicky Laine (keyboards) 1965-1966 Ross MacLochness (keyboards) 1974-1975 John "Stumpy" Pepys (drums) 1964-1969 Jeanine Pettibone (tambourine) 1982 Ronnie Pudding (bass) 1966-1967 "Ricky from San Francisco" (guitar) 1982 David St. Hubbins (guitar, vocals) 1964-present Viv Savage (keyboards) 1975-1982 Little Danny Schindler (harmonica) 1965-1966 Julie Scrubbs-Martin (vocals) 1965-1966 Mick Shrimpton (drums) 1977-1982 Ric Shrimpton (drums) 1992-2000 Skippy Skuffleton (drums) 2001-present Derek Smalls (bass) 1967-present Nigel Tufnel (lead guitar) 1964-present Denny Upham (keyboards) 1966-1968 C.J. Vanston (keyboards) 1992-present Nick Wax (keyboards) 1965-1966 That's 27 people, plus the missing 17 for a total of 44. 3.2 HOW MANY DRUMMERS HAVE BEEN IN SPINAL TAP? The most reliable answer is fifteen. As fans know, there is a curse on Spinal Tap drummers. An alarming number of Tap drummers have mysteriously died or disappeared. At least two have died from spontaneous human combustion. In a 1992 interview, Nigel mentions that 12 drummers had preceded Ric Shrimpton, the group's current drummer, meaning that seven of the "missing 17" were drummers. 3.3 WHAT KILLED THE SPINAL TAP DRUMMERS? Name Cause of death ---- -------------- Joe "Mama" Besser Disappeared, rumored alive Peter "James" Bond Spontaneous human combustion Eric "Stumpy Joe" Childs Choked on someone else's vomit Mick Fleetwood Escaped unscathed (see update) John "Stumpy" Pepys Bizarre gardening accident Mick Shrimpton Spontaneous human combustion Ric Shrimpton Possible kidney failure (see update) Skippy Skuffleton Anyone's guess (see update) Spontaneous human combustion (or SHC) is defined by the Skeptic's Dictionary as "the alleged process of a human body catching fire as a result of heat generated by internal chemical action. While no one has ever witnessed SHC, several deaths involving fire have been attributed to SHC by investigators and storytellers." For more information on SHC, consult these sites: http://wheel.dcn.davis.ca..us/~btcarrol/skeptic/shc.html NOTE: Although Viv Savage was not a drummer for Spinal Tap, he *had* been a drummer before joining the band. Eventually, the curse caught up with poor Viv. He was killed by a natural gas explosion while visiting the Hampstead grave of Mick Shrimpton. !!!!!!UPDATE!!!!! In 2000, Spinal Tap placed an ad in the New York Times reading, "Drummer Died, Need New One." Among the 500 applicants was Mick Fleetwood -- the eventual winner. Fleetwood appeared with the group as its drummer on VH1's "The List," but new hire Skippy Skuffleton was in the seat for Tap's 2001 live appearances. Stay tuned, true believers. The band members speculate that Ric Shrimpton died of kidney failure after selling his dialysis machine for drugs. 3.4 WHO WRITES THE MUSIC FOR SPINAL TAP? Basically, Nigel and David collaborate on compositions, but Derek's role must not be overlooked. Derek holds the group together. When you have two musical geniuses like Tufnel and St. Hubbins working together, there are bound to be temper tantrums. It is Derek's role to keep these to a minimum. Derek has written a free-form jazz exploration called "Jazz Odyssey" and discussed writing a rock musical called "Saucy Jack" with St. Hubbins. 3.5 WHAT BANDS HAD THE MEMBERS BEEN IN BEFORE JOINING TAP? Just follow the convenient chart below. For the band members' full names, please consult Section 3.1. Tap member Previous band(s) ---------- --------------- Hubbins Creatures (skiffle group) Tufnel Lovely Lads Smalls Teddy Noise; Skaface (all-white Jamaican band) M. Shrimpton Eurovision Song Contest (house drummer) R. Shrimpton Eurovision Song Contest (house drummer) Savage Aftertaste Pepys Johnny Goodshow Revue; Leslie Cheswick Soul Explosion Childs Woolcave MacLochness Kilt Kids Pudding Cheap Dates (a.k.a. Cheapdate) Fleetwood Fleetwood Mac (obscure British blues band) 3.6 WHAT BANDS WERE FORMED BY EX-MEMBERS OF SPINAL TAP? Ronnie Pudding formed Pudding People. Danny Schindler joined the Svegman-Hayman-Kvelkman Blues Band Featuring Little Danny Schindler. And Ross MacLochness pursued a solo career in Namibia. Also, Derek Smalls was in a Christian metal band called Lambsblood during one of Spinal Tap's many long periods of inactivity. ===================================================================== SECTION 4.0 - ALBUMS ===================================================================== "They are treading water in a sea of retarded sexuality and bad poetry." - ANONYMOUS CRITIC ===================================================================== 4.1 HOW MANY ALBUMS HAVE SPINAL TAP RELEASED? Seventeen official albums, plus several bootlegs and unreleased albums. 4.2 WHAT ARE THE NAMES OF THESE ALBUMS? (1) "Spinal Tap" [1967] ^ (2) "We Are All Flower People" [1968?] % (3) "Silent But Deadly" [1970?] # (4) "Nerve Damage" [1971] (5) "Brainhammer" [1973] (6) "Blood to Let" [1973?] (7) "Intravenus DeMilo" [1974] (8) "The Sun Never Sweats" [1975] (9) "Jap Habit" [1975] # (10 "Bent for the Rent" [1976] (11) "Tap Dancing" [1976] (12) "Rock & Roll Creation" [1977] + (13) "Shark Sandwich" [1980] (14) "Smell the Glove" [1982] (15) "Heavy Metal Memories" [1984] $ (16) "This Is Spinal Tap (Sndtrk.)" [1984] (17) "Break Like the Wind" [1992] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ^ U.S title - "Spinal Tap Sings 'Listen to the Flower People' and Other Favorites" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- % Rereleased in 1969 as "The Incredible Flight of Icarus P. Anybody" without the original title track. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- # Live albums ---------------------------------------------------------------------- + Also known as "The Gospel According to Spinal Tap" (working title) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- $ Greatest hits ---------------------------------------------------------------------- For album covers and more information about each of these albums, check out the following URL: http://www.spinaltapfan.com/articles/albums.html Unreleased albums include "Flak Packet," "Here's More Tap," and "Lusty Lorry." Bootlegs include "Audible Death," "Got Thamesmen on Tap," "Live at Budokkan," "Openfaced Mako," and "Top Hit for Nows." Sad update: The Spinal Tap rarities tape formerly available from MOFO Ministries is no longer for sale. (MOFO is defunct.) 4.3 WHY CAN'T I FIND MOST OF THESE ALBUMS? All of the albums prior to "Shark Sandwich" were recorded for the Megaphone label. Spinal Tap sued Megaphone for back royalties, and Megaphone filed a counter-suit for "lack of talent." "Shark Sandwich" and "Smell the Glove" were released by Polymer Records, which doesn't exist anymore. "Heavy Metal Memories" was only available through a limited-time TV offer. 4.4 WHICH ALBUMS ARE STILL AVAILABLE? Unfortunately (or fortunately, perhaps), only two: "SPINAL TAP: THE ORIGINAL SOUNDTRACK RECORDING FROM THE MOTION PICTURE 'THIS IS SPINAL TAP'" (Polydor / Polymer / PolyGram, 817 846-2) This is a compilation recording, containing songs from all phases of Tap's career, plus one new track, "America." Other cuts include "Hell Hole," "Tonight I'm Gonna Rock You Tonight," "Heavy Duty," "Rock and Roll Creation," "Cups and Cakes," "Big Bottom," "Sex Farm," "Stonehenge," "Gimme Some Money," and "(Listen to the) Flower People." "BREAK LIKE THE WIND" (MCA / Dead Faith MCAD-10514) Ostensibly a comeback album, this is again a mixture of old and new material. Alongside such new singles as "Bitch School" and "The Majesty of Rock" are remakes and remixes of classic Tap tracks, including "The Sun Never Sweats," "Clam Caravan" (from a Tufnel solo album), "Break Like the Wind," "Rainy Day Sun," "Christmas With the Devil," and "All the Way Home." New songs include "Diva Fever," "Just Begin Again," "Cash On Delivery," "Stinkin' Up the Great Outdoors," "Springtime," and the hidden track, "Now Leaving On Track 13." To purchase these albums, check out Chip's products page: http://www.spinaltapfan.com/articles/albums.html These albums were both recently reissued on CD with "remastered" sound. The "TIST" soundtrack contains two bonus tracks: "Christmas With the Devil" and "Christmas With the Devil (Scratch Mix)." The remastered "BLTW" contains the "Bitch School" video. (Thanks to Svein I. Halvorsen for that info.) !!!IMPORTANT NOTE!!! If you order Spinal Tap merchandise from CDNow, Amazon, or Barnes & Noble through Chip Rowe's "products" page, he makes a small percentage, which in turn helps support the Spinal Tap Fan Page. (Sure, Chip. Sounds like a true story...) NOTE: British fans who wish to order "Break Like the Wind" may do so through Amazon UK. 4.5 ARE "SMELL THE GLOVE" AND THE "TIST" SOUNDTRACK THE SAME ALBUM? No. This is a common misconception because the covers are virtually identical. "Smell the Glove" is a studio album of original material, while the "TIST" soundtrack is a compilation of the band's greatest hits (see Section 4.4). The albums only have one song in common, "Hell Hole," which is remarkable because manager Ian Faith once said that "every cut on ['Smell the Glove'] is a hit." 4.6 DIDN'T I SEE "HEAVY METAL MEMORIES" FOR SALE ON CD? Spinal Tap's "Heavy Metal Memories" was never issued on compact disc, only on LPs and cassettes. In the 1990s, however, Rhino Records did release a compact disc entitled "Heavy Metal Memories" (R2 70986). This is a various-artist compilation featuring songs by Kiss, Uriah Heep, Alice Cooper, Grand Funk, the James Gang, Foghat, Bloodrock, Humble Pie, Mountain, Cheap Trick, Quiet Riot, Joe Walsh, Blue Oyster Cult, Free, Nazareth, and Ted Nugent. There are no songs by Spinal Tap on the album, however. ===================================================================== SECTION 5.0 - SINGLES, VIDEOS, & ALBUM TRACKS ===================================================================== "They had a couple of mid-sized hits." - JOHNNY Q (GOLDEN 106) ===================================================================== 5.1 WHAT ARE SOME OF SPINAL TAP'S GREATEST HITS? The track listing on "Heavy Metal Memories," a greatest hits album from 1984, is as follows: 1. Hell Hole 10. Rainy Day Sun 2. Silent But Deadly 11. (Listen to) The Flower People 3. The Incredible Flight 12. Heavy Duty of Icarus P. Anybody 13. The Sun Never Sweats 4. Blood to Let 14. (Again With) The Flower People 5. Brainhammer! 15. Sex Farm 6. Bent for the Rent 16. Nice 'N' Stinky 7.(Tonight I'm Gonna) Rock 17. Stonehenge Ya Tonight 18. Rock And Roll Creation 8. Break Like the Wind 19. Gimmme Some Money 9. Cups and Cakes 20. Big Bottom Note: not all of these were released as singles, but all are favorites among Tapheads. 5.2 WHEN WERE SOME OF THE BETTER-KNOWN SONGS RELEASED? Song Title Year ---------------------------------------------------- "Gimme Some Money"* 1965 "Cups and Cakes"* 1965 "(Listen to) the Flower People" 1967 "Big Bottom" 1973 "Tonight I'm Gonna Rock You Tonight" 1974 "Stonehenge" 1975 "Heavy Duty"% 1976 "Rock and Roll Creation" 1977 "Sex Farm"# 1980 "Hell Hole" 1982 "America" 1984 "Bitch School" 1992 "The Majesty of Rock" 1992 "Goat Boy" 1996 "Back from the Dead" 2000 * credited to the Thamesmen % originally performed by Lenny and the Squigtones # became a hit in Japan in 1982 5.3 WHICH MUSIC VIDEOS HAVE SPINAL TAP DONE? Not that many, unfortunately. Tap's videography is as follows: * "Hell Hole" (1984) * "Majesty of Rock" (1992) * "Bitch School (Uncensored)" (1992) * "Bitch School (Censored)" (1992) The "Hell Hole" video is included with the VHS, DVD, and laserdisc releases of "This Is Spinal Tap." The other three videos are available on a VHS tape called "Break Like the Wind: The Videos." If you wish to purchase this item, I refer you to Chip's products page: http://www.spinaltapfan.com/spinal-tap-store.html "Bitch School" was recently included on the MGM Special Edition video of "This Is Spinal Tap." 5.4 WHERE CAN I GET SPINAL TAP LYRICS? From here: http://www.spinaltapfan.com/articles/albums.html Or e-mail me at joeblev@concentric.net and ask for the following file: spinaltap.txt I'll do my best to e-mail the file to you ASAP. In the meantime, the complete lyrics to both Tap albums are reprinted in Karl French's new book, "This Is Spinal Tap: The Official Compendium." See Section 7.2 for more details about the book. 5.5 WHERE CAN I GET SPINAL TAP GUITAR TABS? From this site: http://www.spinaltapfan.com/articles/albums.html ===================================================================== SECTION 6.0 - TAP ONLINE ===================================================================== "Quite exciting this computer magic!" - VIV SAVAGE ===================================================================== 6.1 DOES SPINAL TAP HAVE AN E-MAIL ADDRESS? According to Dennis Wilen, an associate of Derek Smalls, the best place to send an e-mail is: faqmstr@voidmstr.com 6.2 DOES SPINAL TAP HAVE AN OFFICIAL WEBSITE? Yes. It is located at the following URL: http://www.spinaltap.com This site has been completely revamped by MGM to celebrate the "TIST" re-release. Check it often for updates about the band. Someone has registered the following domain name: http://spinaltap.net/ But there's nothing yet at the site, so it's not clear whether it will be devoted to the band or the medical procedure. Meanwhile, spinalpap.com seems to be up and running as a Spinal Tap fansite. And a darned good one, too. 6.3 WHERE CAN I FIND CHIP ROWE'S A TO ZED GUIDE TO SPINAL TAP? Since the paper version of the guide has become a scarce commodity, Chip put the whole thing on the web with plenty of new and updated entries. It's available at: http://www.spinaltapfan.com/atozed/main.html A NOTE FROM CHIP CONCERNING THE A TO ZED GUIDE: Another major update, this one the third and probably the last. I have updated the A to Zed Guide online with about 30 new entries and also redesigned it for easier browsing. I have also updated the PDF file. Fatbrain's e-book system went kaput, so I decided to make it available to be freely downloaded. Visitors can buy me a beer if they like it. 6.4 WHERE CAN I FIND LINKS TO OTHER SPINAL TAP WEB PAGES? Chip has an up-to-date list of Spinal Tap links at his fan page. It's available at: http://www.spinaltapfan.com/spinal-tap-links.html 6.5 WHY DID THIS GROUP GET SO MUCH PORNOGRAPHIC SPAM? Of course, spam has its way of seeping into *every* newsgroup, but alt.fan.spinal-tap got way more than its fair share. The story I heard (and Chip confirmed it) is that the newsgroup's official description in its charter was: "Down on the sex farm." Chip Rowe had the official description changed to: "The newsgroup that goes to 11." 6.6 WHERE CAN I GET SOME "TIST" AUDIO FILES? There are links to such files at Chip Rowe's fan page. Go to: http://www.spinaltapfan.com/spinal-tap-sounds.html ===================================================================== SECTION 7.0 - MERCHANDISE ===================================================================== "This is fuckin' all we need!" - DEREK SMALLS ===================================================================== 7.1 WHAT SPINAL TAP MERCHANDISE CAN I BUY? If you've got money to burn, a list of available Tap products is located at: http://www.spinaltapfan.com/spinal-tap-store.html And if you're looking for discounts on Tap merchandise, go here: http://dealdude.com (Thanks for the update, Chip.) 7.2 WHERE CAN I FIND A BOOK ABOUT SPINAL TAP? "This Is Spinal Tap: The Official Compendium" by TV critic Karl French was published by Bloomsbury Press and should be easy to find, both online and in bookstores. It can be purchased through Chip Rowe's products page. The book contains song lyrics, a transcript of the film (including some of the outtakes), and an A to Zed guide to Tap. The book was actually scheduled to be published in 1999 under the title "The Spinal Tap Movie Guide" but was delayed due to unforeseen legal problems. It is now being released with the official stamp of approval from Studio Canal/MGM, who own the film rights. French's book is the second major work to be published about Spinal Tap. The other book, Peter Occhiogrosso's wonderful "Inside Spinal Tap" is no longer available, I'm afraid. Look for it on auction sites. Chip Rowe has links on his products page to secondhand services which can procure a copy for somewhere around $15 or $25. For information about purchasing Spinal Tap books, make sure to visit Chip Rowe's products page: http://www.spinaltapfan.com/spinal-tap-store.html 7.3 WAS THERE YET *ANOTHER* BOOK ABOUT SPINAL TAP? Yes. "Spinal Tap: The Book" by Elizabeth Bibb. According to Chip, it is listed at amazon.com and other online catalogs as a paperback published by Proteus Pub. Co. in April, 1985 for $5.95, but Bibb isn't sure it ever reached bookshelves. Bibb says the band contracted her to write their story to coincide with the release of "TIST." Although she told Chip Rowe that she would search for archival material she would donate to his site, she was never able to find it. 7.4 WHERE CAN I FIND SPINAL TAP T-SHIRTS? You're on your own. For a while, Artist Direct was selling them, but that site is now defunct. Spinal Tap t-shirts have become collector's items, so check the auction sites like Ebay. If you're interested in making your own shirts, Kinko's is fairly reasonable. 7.5 ARE THERE SPINAL TAP ACTION FIGURES? Yes. Just as the band mentioned recently on "The Daily Show," a company called Sideshow Toys produced a line of Spinal Tap action figures. Look for them on Chip's products page. As Lida Husik once sang, "The children of rock & roll never grow old. They just take your money away." She was half right, anyway. ===================================================================== SECTION 8.0 - THE MYSTERIES OF TAP ===================================================================== "No one knows who they were or what they were doing." - NIGEL TUFNEL ===================================================================== 8.1 WHAT IS BARBERSHOP RAGA? When Derek, Nigel, and David visit the grave of Elvis Presley in "This Is Spinal Tap," they sing an impromptu version of "Heartbreak Hotel." David describes their version as "barbershop raga. A new hybrid." (NOTE: he does not say "barbershop reggae.") "Barbershop," obviously, is a reference to the a cappella crooning of barbershop quartets. According to Encarta '97, raga is: "a form or pattern in Indian music based on a particular scale or mode . . . Although distinguished by scale, individual ragas are often associated with different moods or deities and are performed only at certain times of day or night." Ravi Shankar is probably the most famous name in raga. George Harrison was also heavily influenced by raga. To learn more about barbershop quartets, go here: http://www.harmonize.com/ To learn about raga: http://www.raganet.com/ 8.2 WAS THERE A SAINT HUBBINS? Yes, there really was a Saint Hubbins. According to David, "He was the patron saint of quality footwear." Here's what the respected reference work "Barkley's Lives of the Obscure Saints" has to say: ST. HUBBINS (ca. 743 A.D.) A born Scotsman who devoted his life to spreading the Word throughout Gaul, St. Hubbins became known as the "meandering cleric" due either to his tendency to wander aimlessly across the countryside or to the rather free-form nature of his improvised sermons, which he would give whether or not he had an audience. In any event, it is known that Hubbins suffered severe podiatric problems as a result of his constant travels. One night, praying for deliverance from his many corns and bunions, Hubbins heard a "divine voice" telling him him that his salvation lay in "cushioned in-soles" and "firmer arch supports." Thusly inspired, Hubbins set about making a line of top-quality footwear which he freely distributed to the many grateful villagers and peasants he met during his life. Word of Hubbins' particular skill spread quickly, and soon his sermons were attracting large crowds. Hubbins coined the motto "Come for the footwear, stay for the theology." Details of the holy man's later years are vague. He apparently drifted into obscurity after other, more talented missionaries came to Gaul and spent his final years trying to convert woodland creatures to Christianity, without apparent success. 8.3 ARE THERE ANY SPINAL TAP COVER BANDS? Yes, there is at least one such band. They call themselves (get this) Vinyl Tap. Clever, no? Visit them online here: http://vinyltap.bizhosting.com 8.4 WHY IS THERE AN UMLAUT OVER THE "N" IN "SPINAL TAP"? As of this writing, there is no "official" explanation. All we can do is speculate. So speculate we will. Chip Rowe theorizes that the umlaut "distinguishes the band from the painful medical procedure, so as to prevent confusion in the records review section of the Journal of the American Medical Association." For a long while, I thought that Blue Oyster Cult was the first of the umlaut-ed rock bands. But John Swartz, editor of the BOC FAQ, informs me that the Cult didn't form until 1970 -- several years after David and Nigel renamed their band Spinal Tap. So Tap was the first to use the pronunciation symbol, years before Motorhead (who have an umlaut over the second o) and Motley Crue (who have an umlaut over the o and u). In their own way, Spinal Tap did set a trend. Here's a Spinal Tap-esque story about Motley Crue. During their first tour of Germany, the group's improper use of umlauts caused some confusion. According to bassist Nikki Sixx: "All the kids were going, 'Mutley Cruh!' and we were going, 'Huh?'" In any event, it must be noted that umlauts are only supposed to be used over vowels, so Spinal Tap's use of the diacritic mark is especially puzzling. 8.5 CAN I VISIT STONEHENGE WITHOUT GOING TO ENGLAND? Sure! Just check this out: http://www.roadsideamerica.com/attract/WIPARlareau.html Or this: http://tom.gunter.com/onvacation/carhenge.html (Thanks to FRO for that last link.) 8.6 AREN'T THERE SOME "INCONSISTENCIES" IN TIST? No. Some overzealous fans claim that there are some logical errors in "This Is Spinal Tap" which undermine its integrity as a historical document. Let me address some of these one by one: * "Nigel has left the band, but his customized guitar is waiting for him onstage at the Los Angeles gig." The answer to this one is simple enough. David always HOPED Nigel would be back someday, so he had a guitar waiting for him, just in case. Nigel took the rest of his guitars with him when he quit, but he left the black guitar with the "custom three pickup" because it had caused him so much trouble during "Sex Farm." * "Jeanine is visible at the side of the stage WAY before she joins David on the tour." Again, this is a simple matter to resolve. Jeanine was just making a brief VISIT during that scene. Nigel was used to Jeanine doing that. That's why he later asks David if Jeanine is merely "coming to drop some stuff off." He's hoping that she's just going to show up at one concert and then leave. Of course, this time, she stays with the band for the rest of the tour. * "The movie claims to document a tour across the United States, but it looks like the whole thing was shot in and around Los Angeles." This claim is so ridiculous that I don't even know where to begin. ===================================================================== SECTION 9.0 - GREAT DEBATES ===================================================================== "The authorities said, you know, well, best leave it unsolved, really." - NIGEL TUFNEL ===================================================================== 9.1 WHAT ARE THE TOP ELEVEN ESSENTIAL "SPINAL TAP" QUOTES? With the possible exceptions of "Casablanca" and "Herbie Goes Bananas," "This Is Spinal Tap" is the most-quoted movie in history. Practically every line in "TIST" is quotable. Some of these bon mots, in fact, have been quoted so frequently that they've really taken on a life of their own and become part of our shared pop culture heritage. After careful consideration and many sleepless nights, I have compiled this list of the Top 11 most famous quotes from "TIST." (11) "You can't really dust for vomit." (Nigel) (10) "Fuck the napkin!" (Ian Faith) (9) "He died in a bizarre gardening accident." (David) (8) "Money talks and bullshit walks." (Bobbi Flekman) (7) "You don't do heavy metal in dubly." (Jeanine) (6) "It's such a fine line between stupid and..." "And clever." (David and Derek) (5) "There's too much fucking perspective now." (David) (4) "It's like, 'How much more black could this be?' And the answer is 'None... none more black.'" (Nigel) (3) "Kick this ass for a man!" (Artie Fufkin) (2) "Hello, Cleveland! Hello, Cleveland!!" (Derek) And the most famous "Spinal Tap" quote of all time is... (1) "These go to eleven." (Nigel) 9.2 WHAT ARE SOME OTHER GREAT "TIST" QUOTES? Obviously, there's not enough room for *every* great "Spinal Tap" quote on my Top 11 list. And since the list is geared towards the most well- known quotes, some less-famous (but still hilarious) quotes have been excluded. Well, now I've created this section of the FUQ for some of those quotes. I'm taking suggestions from readers, so e-mail me with your favorite lines. But for now, here's an alphabetical sampling: * "A song like 'Sex Farm,' we're taking a sophisticated view of the idea of sex..." "...And put it on a farm?" (Derek & Marty) * "And so say all of us... Tap into America!" (Sir Dennis Eton-Hogg) * "As long as there is, you know, sex and drugs, I can do without the rock 'n' roll." (Mick Shrimpton) * "Dozens of people spontaneously combust each year. It's just not widely reported." (David) * "Every movie in every cinema is about death. Death sells." (Ian) * "Everything has to be folded." (Nigel) * "Fuckin' limeys." (Tommy Pischedda) * "I believe virtually everything I read." (David) * "I do not, for one, think that the problem was that the band was down. I think that the problem _may_ have been that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being crushed by a dwarf." (David) * "I don't know. What are the hours?" (Nigel) * "I remember being knocked out by their exuberance, their raw power, and their punctuality." (Marty) * "If I told them once, I told them a hundred times. Put 'Spinal Tap' first and 'Puppet Show' last." (Jeanine) * "I'm just as God made me, sir." (Tucker "Smitty" Brown) * "I'm sure I'd feel much worse if I weren't under such heavy sedation." (David) * "In the topsy-turvy world of heavy rock, having a good solid piece of wood in your hands is quite often useful." (Ian) * "Is this a joke?" (Nigel) * "It does disturb me, but I'll rise above it. I'm a professional, right?" (Nigel) * "I've got some of this Mendocino Rocket Fuel." (Viv Savage) * "Mime is money." (Morty the Mime) * "Shit sandwich." (Marty DiBergi) * "That's nit-picking, isn't it?" (Nigel) * "The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin'." (David) * "The Boston gig's been cancelled... I wouldn't worry about it, though. It's not a big college town." (Ian) * "They're currently residing in the 'where are they now' file?" (Johnny Q) * "This is Mic #1, this is Mic #1. Isn't this a lot of fun?" (David) * "This twisted old fruit here tells me that you have fucked up my reservations." (Ian) * "We are Spinal Tap from the UK. You must be the USA." (David) * "We'd love to stand around and chat, but we've gotta sit down in the lobby and wait for the limo." (Terry Ladd) * "Well, this piece is called 'Lick My Love Pump.'" (Nigel) * "We're not... about to do a free-form jazz exploration in front of a festival crowd." (David) * "We've got, you know, armadillos in our trousers. It's really quite frightening, the size." (Nigel) * "What a wanker... We had to apologize for him with our set. People were still booing him when we were on." (David) * "What's wrong with being sexy?" "Sex-ist." (Nigel & Ian) * "You are Spinal Tarp?" (Lt. Bob Hookstratten) * "You don't talk so much. Just smile and look smart." (Bobbi) * "You should've seen the cover they *wanted* to do. It wasn't a glove, believe me." (Ian) Don't see your favorite line here? E-mail joeblev@concentric.net and tell me! 9.3 WHAT ARE SOME QUOTES FROM THE "TIST" OUTTAKES? The Criterion and MGM versions of "This Is Spinal Tap" contain many many great scenes that were cut from the original film. I would like to include quotes from those scenes in the FUQ. For now, here's a sampling of good lines from the "Spinal Tap" outtakes. Please e-mail me with your suggestions for this section. * "A grapefruit nation waves its bye-byes." (David) * "Can't we just have her killed? You know people!" (Derek) * "Derek's out of circulation, isn't he?" (Derek) * "Do I have to take a thing with an egg and smash a thing in my face to get a record played on the air today?" (Artie Fufkin) * "I like surgery." (Nigel) * "It's like what they call over here the Sandinista winds." (Nigel) * "It's sort of like a comeback farewell tour." (David) * "I've been exposed to myself now. I don't have to go about doing it to others." (David) * "So fuck logic. Let's go." (Derek) * "Try and keep your hormones in your hip pocket." (Bobbi Flekman) * "We always wake up in a colonial Atlanta." (Nigel) * "What am I, your fuckin' servant?" (Morty the Mime) * "You're cheatin' the people!" (Derek) 9.4 ARE THEY REAL? Are YOU real? See Section 1.6 for the lowdown on whether Spinal Tap is a legitimate band. ===================================================================== SECTION 10.0 - ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS ===================================================================== "I love your stuff. I go back with you guys." - ARTIE FUFKIN ===================================================================== 10.1 WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS THING, ANYWAY? A few people deserve the blame for it. Mike Wheeler was apparently the original author. Andrew De New (extreme moderate) maintained the document for a while and passed the torch on to me. 10.2 WHO ELSE DESERVES THANKS? A few people. I'd like to thank Chip Rowe for his tireless research in the field of Tap-ology and his continued guidance in the ways of Tap. I'd also like the thank the smut peddlers for making alt.fan.spinal-tap such a lively and interesting newsgroup. Above all, I want to thank David, Nigel, and Derek for giving us so much entertainment over the years and asking only for our money in return. Rock on, lads. (Oh, and thanks to all you Tapheads who read the FUQ and take the time to write me with suggestions and comments.) ===================================================================== E P I L O G U E ===================================================================== "Here lies David St. Hubbins, and why not?" - DAVID ST. HUBBINS ===================================================================== So there you have it, folks. That's the current version of the Spinal Tap F.U.Q. I'm not nearly done tinkering with this document yet. I'll keep trying to improve the F.U.Q. until I'm satisfied with it. If you have some suggestions, comments, corrections, or additions, please feel free to e-mail me. I'd like to leave you with a quote from ex-Tap keyboardist Viv Savage: "Have a good time all the time. That's my philosophy, Marty." Joe Blevins Keeper of the Spinal Tap F.U.Q. joeblev@concentric.net