is this stuff for real?/nora peal
~*Spark The Heretic
EWhite6777 wrote:
>
> I take it then that you are of the feminine persuasion, but if the rumors
> are hear are true, you are closer to the hippo persuasion..
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
You don't get to use the 'puter all that much, do you Newbie?
> admit it, most women who cruise the net are
> A. fat and ugly as all hell
> b. confined to a wheelchair
> c. fucking nuts
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Note to Nora: this one's my vote ~;)
> d. all of the above
admit it, all AOLamers are...
A. too insecure in their computer skills to set DNS gateways for
themselves.
B. too damned stupid to know what a DNS gateway is.
C. by and large fully unable to use even the most basic "cut-and-paste"
technology.
D. the type who will suckle Steve Case's pecker 'til it bleeds.
E. dependant as hell on AOL to pamper their every need.
F. gullible enough to hit the "redial" button for hours on end just to
get slapped around in alt.flame once they get there.
G. 99% likely to need Win95's "Plug and Pray" features, lest they fuck
things up even worse by installing it themselves.
H. still pissed at not getting all the binary newsgroups, and yell about
the ones that they can get being all in "uuencode".
I. the kind who just love the mountain of spam received at sign-on.
J. the kind to shriek at the sight of "bbs".
K. suckling brats who wouldn't know what in hell "bbs" stood for in the
first place.
L. the variety who thinks it's "k-rad kewL" to spamvertise AOHell's
trashy little HTML hole-in-the-wall with every post.
M. in love with the maze of useless menus in AOHell, thinking it's part
of the internet's "sophisitication".
N. unable to differentiate POP from SMTP, even if their lives depended
on the answer.
O. thinking it real "k-kool" to have numbers tacked to their names...
P. 99.999% newbies who wouldn't know a flame if it bit them in the ass
then announced it's presence in a loud, clear voice.
Q. still reading this list to see if any of it really applies to them.
R. in love with "the English Patient" and think it grand.
S. the type to ask in public what "IKWYABWAI" means.
T. without a clue as to why everyone persecutes poor Bill Palmer so.
U. thinking that one has to recycle flame to get recognized.
V. most likely the type who will post "please help me flame Mr.
so-and-so, he's a real asshole!" the nanosecond they subscribe to
alt.flame
W. the only fools who think they can forge something and not get traced.
X. the ones that think "Procmail" to be a program that mails you tips on
improving rectal health.
Y. the type who will quote chapter and verse on the virtues of
netiquette.
Z. all of the above and then some.
> now what are you dear?
Someone who knows what in hell to do with their computer; how 'bout you,
AOLamer?
(Space left blank to hear about how this character is a great big
"Webmaster", or will it be a "Programmer" this time?)
--
TJ "Spark" Miller jr.
Editor-in-Chief,
Spark's Comprehensive Guide to the 'nose, the 'harp, and the 'flame:
http://www.users.nwark.com/~tjmiller/index.html
God bless you, Joe.
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