More than complete FAQ?
Colin Caulkins
http://www.douglas-adams.com doesn't seem to be operating.
Alex Watson
alt.fan.douglas-adams." "Oh, right." [blip] Incoming message:
> Where might I find the More Than Complete DNA FAQ?
> http://www.douglas-adams.com doesn't seem to be operating.
http://come.to/afda - info, then the FAQ.
--
Alex Watson
http://www.watson1999-69.freeserve.co.uk/froup/
Replies to me[AT]watson1999-69.freeserve.co.uk
"Backup not found. [A]bort, [R]etry, [P]anic..."
pieceoftheuniverse
>alt.fan.douglas-adams." "Oh, right." [blip] Incoming message:
>> Where might I find the More Than Complete DNA FAQ?
>> http://www.douglas-adams.com doesn't seem to be operating.
>
>http://come.to/afda - info, then the FAQ.
Well, you could do that, but as iain mentioned not too long ago,
things seemed to have been slightly fouled up and suffice it to say
that the whole afda site has gone kablooey in a paper-mache hat.
So here's the pieceoftheuniverse edition of the More Than Complete DNA
FAQ (unofficial version):
**QUESTIONS**
01. Who was Douglas Adams?
02. What had Douglas Adams written?
03. What did Douglas Adams not write?
04. What's this I hear about a movie?
05. Why is Douglas Adams called "Bop Ad" by some of the
regulars here?
06. I don't understand such-and-such portion of the book
so-and-so.
07. In regards to number six: where can I go for an
explanation?
08. I've done that, and it still didn't help.
09. I'm completely puzzled and confused. Please help!
10. You're a cynic. You know that, right?
11. Where can I find a copy of the game created by Douglas
Adams?
12. Where can I download electronic editions of the Hitchhiker
trilogy?
13. Wait a minute. I've come to the end of the FAQ and my
question hasn't been answered!
**BEGIN ANSWERS**
1. Who was Douglas Adams?
A genius, fortunately recognized as such during his own time. That's
pretty much all you need to know. What you need to DO is to get
everything you can that's been written by him and save them in a
hermetically-sealed vault, which you can then show off to your friends
(as in "look, isn't this a nice vault? I've got Douglas Adams stuff
in there. No, I can't open it; then the stuff might start to decay
and future generations will be without the brilliance that is Bop
Ad.").
Sadly, Douglas Adams was taken away from us by a very cruel deity who
shall remain nameless, thus subjecting him to all the sorts of
terrible things that happens to an author once they die -- that is,
people start rifling through their stuff to look for a final
unpublished work that he never meant to hit the shelves, and then make
a best seller out of it.
2. What had Douglas Adams written?
Several things. The most popular is the "trilogy" of no less than
five, some would say six bordering on seven, stories in the Hitch
Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy series. This is made up of the following
titles:
Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Restaurant at the End of the Universe
Life, the Universe, and Everything
So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish
Mostly Harmless
Young Zaphod Plays it Safe
Salmon of Doubt
Sadly, _Salmon of Doubt_ does not, in the strictest possible sense,
exactly exist.
Other titles written by Douglas Adams are:
Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency
The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul
Last Chance to See
The Meaning of Liff
The Deeper Meaning of Liff
He's also written a few episodes for the "Doctor Who" television
programme, the titles of which currently escape this author's mind at
the moment. They cannot be found in book form, however, so it hardly
matters.
3. What did Douglas Adams not write?
Everything else.
4. What's this I hear about a movie?
You've been misinformed. There was going to be a movie, but due to a
scheduling conflict Douglas Adams passed away before the script was
finalized (studio lawyers are petitioning God for a reconsideration,
but things don't look good). The movie is currently on indefinite
hold until the estate of Adams has been completely settled, which
current estimates place at well over seventy thousand years.
If you happen to stop by this physical plane in the year 72001
(sometime around June or July), be sure to buy a ticket.
5. Why is Douglas Adams called "Bop Ad" by some of the regulars here?
Due to the advent of typewriters and neat little boxes that go "ping"
when you turn them on, Douglas Adams' handwriting has suffered from
negligence. As a result, his signature looks something between
chicken scratch, a petition for love, peace, and charity, and the
words "Bop Ad" in large, friendly letters. Due to a time-saving
measure by the Campaign to Promote Douglas Adams' Froodyness, people
have been instructed to refer to the signature as a "Bop Ad," as in "I
was at a fan convention last year and got a Bop Ad on my leather-bound
trilogy."
6. I don't understand such-and-such portion of the book so-and-so.
That's not a question.
7. In regards to number six: where can I go for an explanation?
Read the book again.
8. I've done that, and it still didn't help.
And that's still not a question.
9. I'm completely puzzled and confused. Please help!
Well, if you specify what exactly you're mixed up about, you can just
post here and somebody will come by to give you a shot in the arm.
Should that prove ineffective, and if you're sufficiently polite, you
might find someone who's willing to give you a complete and total
explanation of whatever it is that's bothering you. More than likely,
however, you'll get quite a bit of complete nonsense that makes even
less sense than the book you can't figure out. Either way, it's
unlikely you'll be able to tell the difference.
We would publish all the answers in a FAQ somewhere, but we've found
that no one reads those types of things anyway (and even if they do,
they don't understand the explanation given and post no matter what).
10. You're a cynic. You know that, right?
I'm sorry, that's not a Douglas Adams question. This FAQ is for
Douglas Adams questions only. Please remove your question from this
FAQ or suffer the retribution of, er, someone or another.
11. Where can I find a copy of the game created by Douglas Adams?
There are three, two of which are no longer in production. Starship:
Titanic is the newest, based on a throwaway scene in one of the books
about a spaceship that suffers a massive existence failure. It is
available for both PC and Mac, though some report instability issues
for Windows ME. Ask around at any software retail outlet.
The two lost to time are _HitchHiker's Guide to the Galaxy_ and
_Bureaucracy_, both of which are old-style text adventures. HHTTGG
can be played via javascript at
http://www.douglasadams.com/creations/infocomjava.html
There are currently no sites for Bureaucracy. This is no doubt only a
small oversight.
12. Where can I download electronic editions of the Hitchhiker
trilogy?
You can't.
That is, you can, but it's illegal to redistribute copyrighted work.
To download unpurchased copyrighted material is, technically speaking,
a federal offense. What with Big Brother watching and all, I wouldn't
do it if I were you.
The same goes for mpg files of the radio series, any sort of video
capture of the television program, etc. etc. unless for your own
personal use.
13. Wait a minute. I've come to the end of the FAQ and my question
hasn't been answered!
Then it must not be frequently asked (according to me). Go ahead and
post a question in the froup. We promise not to devour you alive.
We much rather prefer our meat -cooked-....
--
pieceoftheuniverse - whose post of the TFTSNBN FAQ, btw, won't send
for some reason.
Alex Watson
> Alex Watson leaves us with this final thought:
> >"It's Colin Caulkins, Alex." "Who?" "You know, that weirdo from
> >alt.fan.douglas-adams." "Oh, right." [blip] Incoming message:
> >> Where might I find the More Than Complete DNA FAQ?
> >> http://www.douglas-adams.com doesn't seem to be operating.
> >
> >http://come.to/afda - info, then the FAQ.
>
> Well, you could do that, but as iain mentioned not too long ago,
> things seemed to have been slightly fouled up and suffice it to say
Oh, yes. Well, it was working a few days ago, but clearly it's down now.
> So here's the pieceoftheuniverse edition of the More Than Complete DNA
> FAQ (unofficial version):
<pnip>
Did you really write all of that yourself? Really?
--
Alex Watson
http://www.watson1999-69.freeserve.co.uk/froup/
Replies to me[AT]watson1999-69.freeserve.co.uk
"I think people should have to consume tea with chopsticks." - I Think
pieceoftheuniverse
>"It's pieceoftheuniverse, Alex." "Who?" "You know, that weirdo from
>alt.fan.douglas-adams." "Oh, right." [blip] Incoming message:
>> Alex Watson leaves us with this final thought:
>> >> Where might I find the More Than Complete DNA FAQ?
>> >> http://www.douglas-adams.com doesn't seem to be operating.
>> >
>> >http://come.to/afda - info, then the FAQ.
>>
>> Well, you could do that, but as iain mentioned not too long ago,
>> things seemed to have been slightly fouled up and suffice it to say
>
>Oh, yes. Well, it was working a few days ago, but clearly it's down now.
I'm sure iain will be able to get it working within a few days. Well,
maybe a week. Okay, so a month might go by unnoticed. No longer than
a year, anyway. Perhaps a decade or two, if he's got better things to
do...
>> So here's the pieceoftheuniverse edition of the More Than Complete DNA
>> FAQ (unofficial version):
><pnip>
>Did you really write all of that yourself? Really?
Sadly, yes.
--
pieceoftheuniverse - who seems to be much better at writing up FAQs
than distributing them on any sort of regular basis.
Arcum Dagsson
po...@pieceoftheuniverse.com wrote:
> Alex Watson leaves us with this final thought:
> >"It's Colin Caulkins, Alex." "Who?" "You know, that weirdo from
> >alt.fan.douglas-adams." "Oh, right." [blip] Incoming message:
> >> Where might I find the More Than Complete DNA FAQ?
> >> http://www.douglas-adams.com doesn't seem to be operating.
> >
> >http://come.to/afda - info, then the FAQ.
>
> Well, you could do that, but as iain mentioned not too long ago,
> things seemed to have been slightly fouled up and suffice it to say
> that the whole afda site has gone kablooey in a paper-mache hat.
>
> So here's the pieceoftheuniverse edition of the More Than Complete DNA
> FAQ (unofficial version):
>
Looks good. Would this be considered the POTUFAQ, then?
<snip>
>
> Sadly, _Salmon of Doubt_ does not, in the strictest possible sense,
> exactly exist.
>
Well, it does exist in that currently people are trying to find as many
fragments of it as they can, to make the aforementioned best seller out of it.
It also exists in that my hard drive has been named "salmon of Doubt" for
several years now... (Google ought to have a post about hard drives somewhere
documenting that...)
> Other titles written by Douglas Adams are:
> Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency
> The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul
> Last Chance to See
> The Meaning of Liff
> The Deeper Meaning of Liff
>
> He's also written a few episodes for the "Doctor Who" television
> programme, the titles of which currently escape this author's mind at
ITYM chroniclers ^^^^^^^
> the moment. They cannot be found in book form, however, so it hardly
> matters.
>
Shada, City of Death, and, er..., Doctor Who and the Krikkitmen (which sensibly
got retitled Life, the Universe, and Everything, with an entirely different cast
of characters). Probably missed one or two, but, as you say, it hardly matters.
>
<snip>
>
> 13. Wait a minute. I've come to the end of the FAQ and my question
> hasn't been answered!
>
> Then it must not be frequently asked (according to me). Go ahead and
> post a question in the froup. We promise not to devour you alive.
>
> We much rather prefer our meat -cooked-....
Yes, but a number of us are vegan or vegetarian, so we'll have to let the
resident "BONDAGE CAMS" fill in the slack...
--
--Arcum
"Horrors and monsters are creatures of the night that have no business being up
and about on a bright, warm, sunny morning, or so most think. Few stop and think
that should evil rest between dawn and dusk it would be a far simpler and less
dangerous place." (Jack Chalker: The Messiah Choice)
pieceoftheuniverse
>po...@pieceoftheuniverse.com wrote:
>>
>> So here's the pieceoftheuniverse edition of the More Than Complete DNA
>> FAQ (unofficial version):
>>
>Looks good. Would this be considered the POTUFAQ, then?
><snip>
Well, if you want to be strictly technical about it, it would be the
POTUEMTCDNAFAQ(UV). The POTUFAQ exists on my site.
>> Sadly, _Salmon of Doubt_ does not, in the strictest possible sense,
>> exactly exist.
>>
>Well, it does exist in that currently people are trying to find as many
>fragments of it as they can, to make the aforementioned best seller out of it.
Here's hoping they never succeed. As I have stated before, I don't
think anything published could ever live up to all the hype, pomp, and
circumstance that has surrounded its non-existence. Salmon of Doubt
has almost (but not quite) surpassed all the other Adams books based
soley on its fame of never having been completed. If someone were to
step in and actually present it to all, it would fall into relative
obscurity.
Worse yet, it could be touched up by the same bloke who wrote
_Starship Titanic_. <<shudder>>
>It also exists in that my hard drive has been named "salmon of Doubt" for
>several years now... (Google ought to have a post about hard drives somewhere
>documenting that...)
And now Google does. Congratulations; you have now been archived for
life.
>> Other titles written by Douglas Adams are:
<snip>
>> He's also written a few episodes for the "Doctor Who" television
>> programme, the titles of which currently escape this author's mind at
> ITYM chroniclers ^^^^^^^
Quite right. My thesaurus was on the fritz, so I had to settle for
the first word that came to mind.
>> the moment. They cannot be found in book form, however, so it hardly
>> matters.
>>
>Shada, City of Death, and, er..., Doctor Who and the Krikkitmen (which sensibly
>got retitled Life, the Universe, and Everything, with an entirely different cast
>of characters). Probably missed one or two, but, as you say, it hardly matters.
><snip>
I have the dreadful feeling that both of us have managed to tick off
several die-hard fans. Hopefully they don't know where we live.
>> 13. Wait a minute. I've come to the end of the FAQ and my question
>> hasn't been answered!
>>
>> Then it must not be frequently asked (according to me). Go ahead and
>> post a question in the froup. We promise not to devour you alive.
>>
>> We much rather prefer our meat -cooked-....
>
>Yes, but a number of us are vegan or vegetarian, so we'll have to let the
>resident "BONDAGE CAMS" fill in the slack...
Bondage cams don't eat flesh. They whip it, tenderize it, boil it and
possibly even slow-roast it, but they don't eat it.
As you might imagine, though, they make -wonderful- cooks...
--
pieceoftheuniverse - wondering what bondage stew would taste like.
iain
<MPG.159720955...@news.cis.dfn.de>:
>"It's Colin Caulkins, Alex." "Who?" "You know, that weirdo from
>alt.fan.douglas-adams." "Oh, right." [blip] Incoming message:
>> Where might I find the More Than Complete DNA FAQ?
>> http://www.douglas-adams.com doesn't seem to be operating.
>
>http://come.to/afda - info, then the FAQ.
which also isn't operating.
"oh god, i'm so depressed . . . "
--
iain, who really must hassle Nominet tomorrow
af...@imb.clara.net http://come.to/afda
"how can you say that iain is a furyy fpevcg?!" - kristen
iain
<h63sit05ngfs5ier6...@4ax.com>:
>Alex Watson leaves us with this final thought:
>> "It's Colin Caulkins, Alex." "Who?" "You know, that weirdo from
>> alt.fan.douglas-adams." "Oh, right." [blip] Incoming message:
>>> Where might I find the More Than Complete DNA FAQ?
>>> http://www.douglas-adams.com doesn't seem to be operating.
>>
>> http://come.to/afda - info, then the FAQ.
>
>Well, you could do that, but as iain mentioned not too long ago,
>things seemed to have been slightly fouled up and suffice it to say
>that the whole afda site has gone kablooey in a paper-mache hat.
>
>So here's the pieceoftheuniverse edition of the More Than Complete DNA
>FAQ (unofficial version):
>
<snip the ad-hoc FAQ>
very good, i should put that on the websi-- oh, right. hmmmm.
>--
>pieceoftheuniverse - whose post of the TFTSNBN FAQ, btw, won't send
>for some reason.
now *that* was even funnier than the rest of the post put together!
you are joking, right? you do know that you posted the TFTSNBN FAQ
successfully four times in the space of 24 hours . . . ?
--
iain
Alex Watson
adams." "Oh, right." [blip] Incoming message:
> Alex Watson <alexw...@deadspam.com> wrote in message
> <MPG.159720955...@news.cis.dfn.de>:
>
> >"It's Colin Caulkins, Alex." "Who?" "You know, that weirdo from
> >alt.fan.douglas-adams." "Oh, right." [blip] Incoming message:
> >> Where might I find the More Than Complete DNA FAQ?
> >> http://www.douglas-adams.com doesn't seem to be operating.
> >
> >http://come.to/afda - info, then the FAQ.
>
> which also isn't operating.
>
> "oh god, i'm so depressed . . . "
s/dep/comp
--
Alex Watson
http://www.watson1999-69.freeserve.co.uk/froup/
Replies to me[AT]watson1999-69.freeserve.co.uk
"The patient has no past history of suicides." - Patient chart
iain
<Arcum_Dagsson-45C...@news.randori.com>:
>In article <h63sit05ngfs5ier6...@4ax.com>,
>po...@pieceoftheuniverse.com wrote:
>
<snip>
>>
>> He's also written a few episodes for the "Doctor Who" television
>> programme, the titles of which currently escape this author's mind at
> ITYM chroniclers ^^^^^^^
>> the moment. They cannot be found in book form, however, so it hardly
>> matters.
>>
>Shada, City of Death,
The Pirate Planet
>and, er..., Doctor Who and the Krikkitmen (which
>sensibly got retitled Life, the Universe, and Everything, with an
>entirely different cast of characters). Probably missed one or two, but,
>as you say, it hardly matters.
well, the Krikkitmen weren't different characters . . .
pieceoftheuniverse
><h63sit05ngfs5ier6...@4ax.com>:
>>Alex Watson leaves us with this final thought:
>>>
>>
>>Well, you could do that, but as iain mentioned not too long ago,
>>things seemed to have been slightly fouled up and suffice it to say
>>that the whole afda site has gone kablooey in a paper-mache hat.
>>
>>So here's the pieceoftheuniverse edition of the More Than Complete DNA
>>FAQ (unofficial version):
>>
><snip the ad-hoc FAQ>
>
>very good, i should put that on the websi-- oh, right. hmmmm.
I'm thinking that now that you have all this free time, what with the
responsibility of the site gone and everything, you can now make the
site on your hard drive completely and totally up-to-date so that you
can have a super-mega-wow-that's-neat-o update when everything gets
back in working order.
Hmm. That was a bit of a run-on, wasn't it?
>>--
>>pieceoftheuniverse - whose post of the TFTSNBN FAQ, btw, won't send
>>for some reason.
>
>now *that* was even funnier than the rest of the post put together!
>you are joking, right? you do know that you posted the TFTSNBN FAQ
>successfully four times in the space of 24 hours . . . ?
Oh, great. Now my news server is blocking my posts.
--
pieceoftheuniverse - working on the theory that if I can't see me, no
one else can, either...
Roy Stark
> Alex Watson leaves us with this final thought:
>>"It's pieceoftheuniverse, Alex." "Who?" "You know, that weirdo from
>>alt.fan.douglas-adams." "Oh, right." [blip] Incoming message:
>>> Alex Watson leaves us with this final thought:
>>> >"It's Colin Caulkins, Alex.":
>>> >> Where might I find the More Than Complete DNA FAQ?
>>> >> http://www.douglas-adams.com doesn't seem to be operating.
>>> >
>>> >http://come.to/afda - info, then the FAQ.
>>>
>>> Well, you could do that, but as iain mentioned not too long ago,
>>> things seemed to have been slightly fouled up and suffice it to say
>>
>>Oh, yes. Well, it was working a few days ago, but clearly it's down now.
>
> I'm sure iain will be able to get it working within a few days. Well,
> maybe a week. Okay, so a month might go by unnoticed. No longer than
> a year, anyway. Perhaps a decade or two, if he's got better things to
> do...
Teh adverts don't seem to be having a problem however...
>>> So here's the pieceoftheuniverse edition of the More Than Complete DNA
>>> FAQ (unofficial version): <pnip>
>>Did you really write all of that yourself? Really?
>
> Sadly, yes.
I don't think it's sad 'tall... I found it informative and witty. It was
much better then Cats. I will see it agiain and agiain...
-Roy, OBref spotting time...
--
areplyist #1
øverfræk and their bizzare leader!!!
"The goat is so that no-one gets my goat - my ass is
laminated by the dyslexic of borg..." -Nikitta
iain
> "It's iain, Alex." "Who?" "You know, that weirdo from alt.fan.douglas-
> adams." "Oh, right." [blip] Incoming message:
>> Alex Watson <alexw...@deadspam.com> wrote in message
>> <MPG.159720955...@news.cis.dfn.de>:
>>
>> >"It's Colin Caulkins, Alex." "Who?" "You know, that weirdo from
>> >alt.fan.douglas-adams." "Oh, right." [blip] Incoming message:
>> >> Where might I find the More Than Complete DNA FAQ?
>> >> http://www.douglas-adams.com doesn't seem to be operating.
>> >
>> >http://come.to/afda - info, then the FAQ.
>>
>> which also isn't operating.
>>
>> "oh god, i'm so depressed . . . "
>
> s/dep/comp
that too, but it doesn't fit the context
--
iain
Arcum Dagsson
po...@pieceoftheuniverse.com wrote:
> Arcum Dagsson leaves us with this final thought:
> >In article <h63sit05ngfs5ier6...@4ax.com>,
> >po...@pieceoftheuniverse.com wrote:
> >>
> >> So here's the pieceoftheuniverse edition of the More Than Complete DNA
> >> FAQ (unofficial version):
> >>
> >Looks good. Would this be considered the POTUFAQ, then?
> ><snip>
>
> Well, if you want to be strictly technical about it, it would be the
> POTUEMTCDNAFAQ(UV). The POTUFAQ exists on my site.
>
Sounds like a nice long acronym. The PFAQ, for short?
> >> Sadly, _Salmon of Doubt_ does not, in the strictest possible sense,
> >> exactly exist.
> >>
> >Well, it does exist in that currently people are trying to find as many
> >fragments of it as they can, to make the aforementioned best seller out of
> >it.
>
> Here's hoping they never succeed. As I have stated before, I don't
> think anything published could ever live up to all the hype, pomp, and
> circumstance that has surrounded its non-existence. Salmon of Doubt
> has almost (but not quite) surpassed all the other Adams books based
> soley on its fame of never having been completed. If someone were to
> step in and actually present it to all, it would fall into relative
> obscurity.
>
> Worse yet, it could be touched up by the same bloke who wrote
> _Starship Titanic_. <<shudder>>
>
Well, from what they've said, it won't be touched up at all; it'll just be
whatever sections are written so far. If it gets published, perhaps we can fill
in the blanks here with fanfiction...
> >It also exists in that my hard drive has been named "Salmon of Doubt" for
> >several years now... (Google ought to have a post about hard drives
> >somewhere
> >documenting that...)
>
> And now Google does. Congratulations; you have now been archived for
> life.
>
Yep.
<From 11/17/98>
My hard drive is another story. Looking, it looks like my computer got reset to
the generic "Macintosh HD", probably from my last OS upgrade. Previous to
that, I've had the slightly distinctive "Hari Drive", "Zen and the art of
the Hack"(A secondary hard drive, with programming tools...(Part of the
name may have been from "Blake 7", though...)), and a variety of other
names (including "Deep Thought", probably). About time to rename mine, I
suppose... I'll have to think upon a new name. <"Salmon of Doubt",
perhaps?>
</From 11/17/98>
> >> Other titles written by Douglas Adams are:
> <snip>
> >> He's also written a few episodes for the "Doctor Who" television
> >> programme, the titles of which currently escape this author's mind at
> > ITYM chroniclers ^^^^^^^
>
> Quite right. My thesaurus was on the fritz, so I had to settle for
> the first word that came to mind.
>
The phrase "currently escapes this chroniclers mind" seems to be permanently
stuck in my mind, for whatever reason...
> >> the moment. They cannot be found in book form, however, so it hardly
> >> matters.
> >>
> >Shada, City of Death, and, er..., Doctor Who and the Krikkitmen (which
> >sensibly
> >got retitled Life, the Universe, and Everything, with an entirely
> >different cast
> >of characters). Probably missed one or two, but, as you say, it hardly
> >matters.
> ><snip>
>
> I have the dreadful feeling that both of us have managed to tick off
> several die-hard fans. Hopefully they don't know where we live.
>
Well, iain filled them in on the one I missed, anyways...
> >> 13. Wait a minute. I've come to the end of the FAQ and my question
> >> hasn't been answered!
> >>
> >> Then it must not be frequently asked (according to me). Go ahead and
> >> post a question in the froup. We promise not to devour you alive.
> >>
> >> We much rather prefer our meat -cooked-....
> >
> >Yes, but a number of us are vegan or vegetarian, so we'll have to let the
> >resident "BONDAGE CAMS" fill in the slack...
>
> Bondage cams don't eat flesh. They whip it, tenderize it, boil it and
> possibly even slow-roast it, but they don't eat it.
>
> As you might imagine, though, they make -wonderful- cooks...
True. And I'm sure Daisy can always lend a hand. (or a laser, anyways...)
--
--Arcum
"Most people believed that they would eventually go to heaven, even the ones
whom everybody else knew would never make it. Very few, however, believed they
could get there without dying."
(Jack Chalker: Lords of The Middle Dark)
Screwtape
>Quite right. My thesaurus was on the fritz, so I had to settle for
>the first word that came to mind.
Really? I keep mine on the shelf.
--
,------------------------------------------------- ------ ---- -- - - -
| Screwtape | Reply-To: is munged on Usenet | members.xoom.com/thristian
|--------------------------------------------- ---- ---- --- -- - - - -
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| You cannot kill Tim without injuring eternity.
|
pieceoftheuniverse
>>Quite right. My thesaurus was on the fritz, so I had to settle for
>>the first word that came to mind.
>
>Really? I keep mine on the shelf.
I realize that fritzes (fritzi?) are not reputable by nature, but this
particular fritz assured me that he (she? it? they?) would keep my
thesaurus in a safe place. When pressed for more information of where
exactly this "safe" location would be, he indicated that it would be,
of all places, on top of his (her? its?) head, underneath a very
spiffy hat.
Well, I've always been an admirer of incredibly spiffy hats, and this
one looked especially spiffy -- though, I must admit, the safety of my
thesaurus looked a bit in jeopardy should someone come by and knock
the hat off. I thought this somewhat unlikely, so I agreed to let the
fritz wear my thesaurus.
Not two minutes later, after the fritz had since walked away to go get
a glass of water, I needed another word for "author" that didn't mean
"author" as such but that would be close enough for all intents and
purposes. Ah, well. Such is the life of the fritz.
--
pieceoftheuniverse - having no clue what he's on about.
Arcum Dagsson
po...@pieceoftheuniverse.com wrote:
Ah. Whereas I just opened up SLATFATF, and grabbed it from the last sentence:
"There was a point to this story, but it has temporarily escaped the chroniclers
mind."...
pieceoftheuniverse
message:
>In article <dmj1jtgniep97p1t9...@4ax.com>,
> pieceoftheuniverse <po...@pieceoftheuniverse.com> sigged:
>
><snip usual potu insanity>
>
>> --
>> pieceoftheuniverse - having no clue what he's on about.
>
>quite mad. Could you add this more often, please?
I always thought it was generally inferred.
However, seeing as how I can't be bothered to remember to do something
every time I post (heck, sometimes I forget to post when I want to
post, which makes for some confusing sessions), please print out the
following disclaimer and take care to look at it every once in a
while, especially when reading a post authored (chronicled?) by me:
DISCLAIMER: pieceoftheuniverse ("POTU" for short, or "piece" if you're
in that sort of mood) fully supports each and every statement made by
him or someone else pretending to be him, except and especially in
those instances where: 1) he isn't him at all; 2) he blatantly
contradicts himself; 3) he makes sense; 4) he makes no sense; 5) he
almost, but not quite, makes sense; 6) he certainly is him; 7) he's
drunk; 8) he turns into a she; 9) she turns back into a he; 10) the
topic turns to religion; 11) the topic turns towards politics; 12) the
topic turns towards anything; 13) he seems to be bolstering his own
ego; 14) he toots his own horn; 15) he polishes his own shoes; 16) his
trousers fall down; 17) he makes a misspelling; 18) he only pretends
to know what he's talking about; 19) he makes stuff up; 20) he
researches the topic thoroughly; 21) he becomes psychotic; 22) he
recovers from any sort of psychosis; 23) he becomes romantically
involved; 24) he has his heart broken; 25) he breaks someone else's
heart; 26) he dies; 27) he lives; 28) he steals; 29) he gives to the
poor; 30) he becomes a superhero; 31) he learns to fly; 32) he is
iain; 33) he is not iain; 34) he reveals his real name; 35) he becomes
rich; 36) he becomes poor; 37) he purchases or finds a weapon; 38) he
fights in the ultimate battle between good and evil; 39) he destroys
the planet; 40) he destroys the universe; 41) he destroys pretty much
anything; 42) he finds the Ultimate Question.
Should any of the above conditions be met, pieceoftheuniverse is not
responsible for brain melting, head explosions, and general
discombobulation due to the fact that discombobulation is most likely
not even a real word. If worse comes to worse, just assume that
pieceoftheuniverse doesn't know what he's on about (or even what he's
on), and thus should be readily ignored, if not killfiled on the spot.
All statements and postings meeting the above conditions will be fully
endorsed by POTU while at the same time be profusely denied.
This has been a message from the Protection Against POTU Society
(PAPS).
--
pieceoftheuniverse - you may now resume your somewhat normal
lifestyle.
Roy Stark
Oh, well thats allright then...
> This has been a message from the Protection Against POTU Society
> (PAPS).
I submit that no-one should ever make slanderous comments agiainst the
Protection Against POTU Society, lest it become a PAPS smear and that would
be bad, especially if it was a joke, which now it is and is therefore bad.
a bad joke that is.
-Roy, making bad jokes since 1972 when he was born...
pieceoftheuniverse
message:
>in alt.fan.douglas-adams, pieceoftheuniverse mumbled:
<disclaimer snipped>
>> This has been a message from the Protection Against POTU Society
>> (PAPS).
>
>I submit that no-one should ever make slanderous comments agiainst the
>Protection Against POTU Society, lest it become a PAPS smear and that would
>be bad, especially if it was a joke, which now it is and is therefore bad.
>a bad joke that is.
Congratulations! That's exactly the joke I was trying to make, though
I forgot to, but now I don't have to remember to anymore!
As a gesture of gratitude, here is your Bad Joke Point: .
It also doubles as a Bad Pun Point during particularly terrible days.
Use wisely!
>-Roy, making bad jokes since 1972 when he was born...
--
pieceoftheuniverse - handing out points since he was born, but I'm not
telling you the year.
Roy Stark
> Roy Stark contacted the alien invaders and sent this as a secret
> message:
>>in alt.fan.douglas-adams, pieceoftheuniverse mumbled:
>
><disclaimer snipped>
>
>>> This has been a message from the Protection Against POTU Society
>>> (PAPS).
>>
>>I submit that no-one should ever make slanderous comments agiainst the
>>Protection Against POTU Society, lest it become a PAPS smear and that
>>would be bad, especially if it was a joke, which now it is and is
>>therefore bad. a bad joke that is.
>
> Congratulations! That's exactly the joke I was trying to make, though
> I forgot to, but now I don't have to remember to anymore!
>
> As a gesture of gratitude, here is your Bad Joke Point: .
>
> It also doubles as a Bad Pun Point during particularly terrible days.
> Use wisely!
Wow thank you POTU, I shall! <insert thanks to a long list of people
influenced my life whilst i made bad jokes the whole time> wow
/me admires point
>>-Roy, making bad jokes since 1972 when he was born...
I've got nothing to add to that...
-Roy, having nothing to add since June 21, 2001
Kasatka
Roy Stark <nospa...@fohat.com> wrote in message
news:Xns90C5D23EF27...@130.133.1.4...
>
> I don't think it's sad 'tall... I found it informative and witty. It was
> much better then Cats. I will see it agiain and agiain...
Because I am so horribly horrible at ObRef's, I decided to use Google to my
advantage.
I feel stupid.
Apparantly about 5 billion people know of that quote, as I saw it in
reference to Phantom, Independance Day (the movie), LotR, Corfy's Corner (a
website, apparantly), Tombraider (the game), and Count Xigeous' Halloween
Bloodbath.
My self esteem has hit an all time low.
~ Kasatka, 137, not that there was much to begin with ;)
Sid
>in alt.fan.douglas-adams, pieceoftheuniverse mumbled:
>> Alex Watson leaves us with this final thought:
>>>"It's pieceoftheuniverse, Alex." "Who?" "You know, that weirdo from
>>>alt.fan.douglas-adams." "Oh, right." [blip] Incoming message:
>>>> Alex Watson leaves us with this final thought:
>>>> >"It's Colin Caulkins, Alex.":
>>>> >> Where might I find the More Than Complete DNA FAQ?
>>>> >> http://www.douglas-adams.com doesn't seem to be operating.
>>>> >
>>>> >http://come.to/afda - info, then the FAQ.
>>>>
>>>> Well, you could do that, but as iain mentioned not too long ago,
>>>> things seemed to have been slightly fouled up and suffice it to say
>>>
>>>Oh, yes. Well, it was working a few days ago, but clearly it's down now.
>>
>> I'm sure iain will be able to get it working within a few days. Well,
>> maybe a week. Okay, so a month might go by unnoticed. No longer than
>> a year, anyway. Perhaps a decade or two, if he's got better things to
>> do...
>Teh adverts don't seem to be having a problem however...
>>>> So here's the pieceoftheuniverse edition of the More Than Complete DNA
>>>> FAQ (unofficial version): <pnip>
>>>Did you really write all of that yourself? Really?
>>
>> Sadly, yes.
>I don't think it's sad 'tall... I found it informative and witty. It was
>much better then Cats. I will see it agiain and agiain...
I was in London just after new year. I saw Cats. It was a bit draggy. I
saw a couple of other plays as well. I love London.
Sid
iain
news:9gujaj$b9m29$1...@ID-93691.news.dfncis.de:
if it makes you feel any better, i didn't even notice that it was supposed
to be an obref, never mind recognise it . . .
--
iain, who should pay more attentiain
Roy Stark
> "Kasatka" <kas...@excite.com> wrote in message
> news:9gujaj$b9m29$1...@ID-93691.news.dfncis.de:
>
>>
>> Roy Stark <nospa...@fohat.com> wrote in message
>> news:Xns90C5D23EF27...@130.133.1.4...
>>>
>>> I don't think it's sad 'tall... I found it informative and witty.
>>> It was much better then Cats. I will see it agiain and agiain...
>>
>> Because I am so horribly horrible at ObRef's, I decided to use Google
>> to my advantage.
>>
>> I feel stupid.
>>
>> Apparantly about 5 billion people know of that quote, as I saw it in
>> reference to Phantom, Independance Day (the movie), LotR, Corfy's
>> Corner (a website, apparantly), Tombraider (the game), and Count
>> Xigeous' Halloween Bloodbath.
>>
>> My self esteem has hit an all time low.
>
> if it makes you feel any better, i didn't even notice that it was
> supposed to be an obref, never mind recognise it . . .
>
Ah yes, but nobody has actually guessed it yet anyhow, although Kasatka
*claims* to know, no points can be given out just yet... =)
|Roy|, changing the way he signs his name since 10 seconds ago
Roy Stark
> in alt.fan.douglas-adams, iain mumbled:
>
>> "Kasatka" <kas...@excite.com> wrote in message
>> news:9gujaj$b9m29$1...@ID-93691.news.dfncis.de:
>>
>>>
>>> Roy Stark <nospa...@fohat.com> wrote in message
>>> news:Xns90C5D23EF27...@130.133.1.4...
>>>>
>>>> I don't think it's sad 'tall... I found it informative and witty.
>>>> It was much better then Cats. I will see it agiain and agiain...
>>>
>>> Because I am so horribly horrible at ObRef's, I decided to use Google
>>> to my advantage.
>>>
>>> I feel stupid.
>>>
>>> Apparantly about 5 billion people know of that quote, as I saw it in
>>> reference to Phantom, Independance Day (the movie), LotR, Corfy's
>>> Corner (a website, apparantly), Tombraider (the game), and Count
>>> Xigeous' Halloween Bloodbath.
>>>
>>> My self esteem has hit an all time low.
>>
>> if it makes you feel any better, i didn't even notice that it was
>> supposed to be an obref, never mind recognise it . . .
>>
>
> Ah yes, but nobody has actually guessed it yet anyhow, although Kasatka
> *claims* to know, no points can be given out just yet... =)
>
>|Roy|, changing the way he signs his name since 10 seconds ago
oh dear that pipe makes it look quoted, better think up something else, and
fast!
^ROY^ , hmmm i wonder if it will be freinds with me...
Till Westermayer
>oh dear that pipe makes it look quoted, better think up something
>else, and fast!
>^ROY^ , hmmm i wonder if it will be freinds with me...
BatRoy?
till (the next time)
--
"there should be something in the FAQ about real life being an
unacceptable excuse for escaping." (kristen-starshine in afda)
... Till We *) http://www.westermayer.de/till/index.htm
Roy Stark
> [23 Jun 01: Roy (nospa...@fohat.com) wrote something]
>
>>oh dear that pipe makes it look quoted, better think up something else,
>>and fast!
>
>>^ROY^ , hmmm i wonder if it will be freinds with me...
>
> BatRoy?
No, it reminds me more of kilroy was here. Soldiers drew it in WW2 i think
cant be bothered to look it up but the drawing was of two hands and a nose
i think...
^Roy^ still tweaking it
Thomas Arbs
>in alt.fan.douglas-adams, Till Westermayer mumbled:
>
>> [23 Jun 01: Roy (nospa...@fohat.com) wrote something]
>>
>>>oh dear that pipe makes it look quoted, better think up something else,
>>>and fast!
>>
>>>^ROY^ , hmmm i wonder if it will be freinds with me...
>>
>> BatRoy?
>
>No, it reminds me more of kilroy was here. Soldiers drew it in WW2 i think
>cant be bothered to look it up but the drawing was of two hands and a nose
>i think...
>
>^Roy^ still tweaking it
-----^^^^OvO^^^^-----
Like this... But where to put the "Roy" bit, I don't know.
--
Thomas Arbs
<mailto:tho...@arbs.de>
<http://www.arbs.de/>
Cerine Marguerite Hill
>
> in alt.fan.douglas-adams, iain mumbled:
>
> > "Kasatka" <kas...@excite.com> wrote in message
> > news:9gujaj$b9m29$1...@ID-93691.news.dfncis.de:
> >
> >>
> >> Roy Stark <nospa...@fohat.com> wrote in message
> >> news:Xns90C5D23EF27...@130.133.1.4...
> >>>
> >>> I don't think it's sad 'tall... I found it informative and witty.
> >>> It was much better then Cats. I will see it agiain and agiain...
> >>
> >> Because I am so horribly horrible at ObRef's, I decided to use Google
> >> to my advantage.
> >>
> >> I feel stupid.
> >>
> >> Apparantly about 5 billion people know of that quote, as I saw it in
> >> reference to Phantom, Independance Day (the movie), LotR, Corfy's
> >> Corner (a website, apparantly), Tombraider (the game), and Count
> >> Xigeous' Halloween Bloodbath.
> >>
> >> My self esteem has hit an all time low.
> >
> > if it makes you feel any better, i didn't even notice that it was
> > supposed to be an obref, never mind recognise it . . .
> >
>
> Ah yes, but nobody has actually guessed it yet anyhow, although Kasatka
> *claims* to know, no points can be given out just yet... =)
>
It's from an SNL skit from about 10 years ago. Are they hypnotic
points?
--
Cerine Hill
If God meant us to eat natural foods, She wouldn't have given us
Cheetos.
Roy Stark
hmmm... itsa little busy, but ya got teh idea... nice ascii art!
^Roy^
Roy Stark
YAY Cerine! These points are muchbetterthencats points, you will use them
agiain and agiain =)
-Roy
Alex Watson
> Alex Watson <alexw...@deadspam.com> wrote in message
> news:MPG.1599acd4c...@news.cis.dfn.de:
>
> > "It's iain, Alex." "Who?" "You know, that weirdo from alt.fan.douglas-
> > adams." "Oh, right." [blip] Incoming message:
> >> Alex Watson <alexw...@deadspam.com> wrote in message
> >> <MPG.159720955...@news.cis.dfn.de>:
> >>
> >> >"It's Colin Caulkins, Alex." "Who?" "You know, that weirdo from
> >> >alt.fan.douglas-adams." "Oh, right." [blip] Incoming message:
> >> >> Where might I find the More Than Complete DNA FAQ?
> >> >> http://www.douglas-adams.com doesn't seem to be operating.
> >> >
> >> >http://come.to/afda - info, then the FAQ.
> >>
> >> which also isn't operating.
> >>
> >> "oh god, i'm so depressed . . . "
> >
> > s/dep/comp
>
> that too, but it doesn't fit the context
If you're compressed, we could send you down the phone line to fix the
site, though.
--
Alex Watson
http://www.watson1999-69.freeserve.co.uk/froup/
Replies to me[AT]watson1999-69.freeserve.co.uk
"The clash of two pedants that are both in a hair-trigger situation to
pedant as a backlash reaction against the other has locked them both into a
dead calm. It's suddenly turned dangerously quantum." - Kenny [afda]
Cerine Marguerite Hill
>
<snip>
>
> YAY Cerine! These points are muchbetterthencats points, you will use them
> agiain and agiain =)
>
Double yay! My newswerver finally decided to stop eating my posts! And
I get muchbetterthencats[1] points!
--
Cerine Hill
If God meant us to eat natural foods, She wouldn't have given us
Cheetos.
[1] I think I'd better not tell my cat that these exist. She might get
upset.