She will be mine...
Aidan Brack
People don't find me funny.
Damn.
At least I didn't humiliate myself by flirting (and yes - that *is*
humiliating - I just can't do it!).
"She WILL be mine" (John in-joke)
--
Aidan Brack
I was Rory McGrath's double!
Mary McK
>I was Rory McGrath's double!
I always thought he was kind of cute in a tubby loyal puppy sort of way...not
as fit as Hamesh(??sp??)....but still cute.
Mary McK
Come see the family at http://ourworld.cs.com/Donaldmckercher/
Please remove the obvious spam block to e-mail me!!
Alex
Brack) wrote:
>Saw a bloody fit waitress in my local today... She found me funny.
>People don't find me funny.
>
bets?
Alex
Simon Jones
"Aidan Brack" <brack....@dnet.co.uk> wrote in message
news:3b7984a...@news.dnet.co.uk...
> Saw a bloody fit waitress in my local today... She found me funny.
> People don't find me funny.
I found you pretty damned funny. :)
> At least I didn't humiliate myself by flirting (and yes - that *is*
> humiliating - I just can't do it!).
Just flick yer beard at 'em.
> "She WILL be mine" (John in-joke)
Sounds more like Wayne's World to me.
Simon.
--
* This is no cave.
s.j...@uea.ac.uk
http://www.smjuea.btinternet.co.uk
Phil Da Lickł
Don't piss about... ask her out for drinkies... else someone else'll get
there first!
Aidan Brack
wrote:
I'm putting myself at 750003-1 against. :o)
Aidan Brack
<smj...@btinternet.com> wrote:
>> Saw a bloody fit waitress in my local today... She found me funny.
>> People don't find me funny.
>
>I found you pretty damned funny. :)
Yes - but that's only because I look like Tinkywinky - and that was
not intentional! ;o)
>> At least I didn't humiliate myself by flirting (and yes - that *is*
>> humiliating - I just can't do it!).
>
>Just flick yer beard at 'em.
Had shaved that morning. Made a large contribution to bloody Barnados
to impress her. Then remembered that the cash I'd put in was bus
money. Damn. :o)
>> "She WILL be mine" (John in-joke)
>
>Sounds more like Wayne's World to me.
Really? Haven't seen it in years!
Aidan Brack
<phil_t...@DONOTSPAMMEORELSE.hotmail.com> wrote:
>> "She WILL be mine" (John in-joke)
>
>Don't piss about... ask her out for drinkies... else someone else'll get
>there first!
She's a bloody barmaid. Do you think she'll want to go out for a
feckin' drink? :o(
Phil Da Lickł
Take a chance! (also: take her elsewhere to where she works)
"Aidan Brack" <brack....@dnet.co.uk> wrote in message
news:3b7a433...@news.dnet.co.uk...
Aidan Brack
<phil_t...@DONOTSPAMMEORELSE.hotmail.com> wrote:
>Yep. "for a drink" is the comfortable, minimum-pressure scenario.
>
>Take a chance! (also: take her elsewhere to where she works)
Spent Ł8 there today and she wasn't there (off-duty). Besides - I'm
going to have to get around that awkward under-age problem. ;o)
(I don't actually drink alcohol out but I can't buy it for others).
Aidan Brack
wrote:
>>Aidan Brack Wrote:
>
>>I was Rory McGrath's double!
>
>I always thought he was kind of cute in a tubby loyal puppy sort of way...not
>as fit as Hamesh(??sp??)....but still cute.
Umm... Have you been on mind-altering drugs every time you've seen
Rory? ;o) (Only kidding - and I don't have a beard.
I need a woman's perspective. If you worked behind a bar and a man
you'd served once asked you if you wanted a drink would you think:
a) Woohoo... I've hit the jackpot.
b) YES! Wait - It's Aidan. He looks slightly like a Tellytubby-Rory
McGrath crossbreed.
c) It might be a laugh and he's paying.
d) Oh god... I want to avoid it.
e) Not again.
f) Some other negative comment.
Now look at my photo on:
http://www.thedominicanrepublic.co.uk/pics/brack/
Now consider yourself as extremely fit. It will help if you've met me.
That would put it all in perspective.
What approach is most likely to bring a rotund freak like myself
success in getting an attractive young woman to come out for one drink
with me and not detest me? Furthermore, considering that tomorrow is
results night, would that be an awfully bad night to consider doing it
on?
Many thanks.
Aidan.
--
Aidan Brack
Alex
Brack) wrote:
>On 14 Aug 2001 22:50:21 GMT, donaldm...@cs.com.nospam (Mary McK)
>wrote:
>
>>>Aidan Brack Wrote:
>>
>>>I was Rory McGrath's double!
>>
>>I always thought he was kind of cute in a tubby loyal puppy sort of way...not
>>as fit as Hamesh(??sp??)....but still cute.
>
>Umm... Have you been on mind-altering drugs every time you've seen
>Rory? ;o) (Only kidding - and I don't have a beard.
>
>I need a woman's perspective. If you worked behind a bar and a man
>you'd served once asked you if you wanted a drink would you think:
DRINK! GIRLS!
Alex
Mary McK
> feckin' drink? :o(
Then ask her to coffee or tea or some such!
Geeze you have to just take some guys by the hand!!
But I do agree if you don't make some move, you will miss out.
Mary McK
queen of missed opportunities
Aidan Brack
wrote:
>>>>I was Rory McGrath's double!
>>>
>>>I always thought he was kind of cute in a tubby loyal puppy sort of way...not
>>>as fit as Hamesh(??sp??)....but still cute.
>>
>>Umm... Have you been on mind-altering drugs every time you've seen
>>Rory? ;o) (Only kidding - and I don't have a beard.
>>
>>I need a woman's perspective. If you worked behind a bar and a man
>>you'd served once asked you if you wanted a drink would you think:
>
>DRINK! GIRLS!
I should have pointed out that you are female... Or else you're REALLY
into lesbianism! ;o)
--
Aidan Brack
Aidan Brack
wrote:
>> She's a bloody barmaid. Do you think she'll want to go out for a
>> feckin' drink? :o(
>
>Then ask her to coffee or tea or some such!
>
>Geeze you have to just take some guys by the hand!!
>
>But I do agree if you don't make some move, you will miss out.
But I don't know if she's available.
Alex
You did. I just woke up for a fekkin' second.
Alex
Alex
Brack) wrote:
>On 15 Aug 2001 18:45:01 GMT, donaldm...@cs.com.nospam (Mary McK)
>wrote:
>
>>> She's a bloody barmaid. Do you think she'll want to go out for a
>>> feckin' drink? :o(
>>
>>Then ask her to coffee or tea or some such!
>>
>>Geeze you have to just take some guys by the hand!!
>>
>>But I do agree if you don't make some move, you will miss out.
>
>But I don't know if she's available.
>
So ask anyway. The worst that can happen is that she'll say no.
I take that back. The worst that can happen is that she says yes, and
15 years down the line their's a messy divorce involving a brass band
and a goat. But that's fairly unlikely so ASK!
Alex
Aidan Brack
wrote:
>>But I don't know if she's available.
>>
>So ask anyway. The worst that can happen is that she'll say no.
>
>I take that back. The worst that can happen is that she says yes, and
>15 years down the line their's a messy divorce involving a brass band
>and a goat. But that's fairly unlikely so ASK!
Did she and the goat get custody Alex? ;o)
No - I want to ask but it's the whole - you're fitter than anyone I've
seen in ages and I look like a drunken Tinky-Winky who hasn't slept in
5 days. To make matters worse the sword-fighting has made my muscles
all relax making my chest appear even more feminine than usual. Zoiks!
Mary McK
>you'd served once asked you if you wanted a drink would you think:
>a) Woohoo... I've hit the jackpot.
>b) YES! Wait - It's Aidan. He looks slightly like a Tellytubby-Rory
>McGrath crossbreed.
>c) It might be a laugh and he's paying.
>d) Oh god... I want to avoid it.
>e) Not again.
>f) Some other negative comment.
Depends if I was interested or NOT!
>What approach is most likely to bring a rotund freak like myself
>success in getting an attractive young woman to come out for one drink
>with me and not detest me?
You are not that heavy...I AM I weigh apprx 350# and am only 5'4"...but I still
managed to date ALOT (ok I was...er....um...shall we say MORALLY
challenged<read SLUT>) But I still managed to get married to a rather Fit
gentleman...OK I had to import him from Scotland, but you do get my drift.
I suggest asking her mates if she is unattached and there is no policy at the
pub against staff dating the customers, so as to save yourself some useless
rejection. Then just ask her to Starbucks or what ever you have there that is
similar
Get a coffee, tea, smoothie, milkshake....what ever....have some light
conversation and get a feeling for whether she is amiable to dinner or a cinema
with you! (I almost said Feel her out....but I know you would have taken that
wrong<BG>)
>Furthermore, considering that tomorrow is
>results night, would that be an awfully bad night to consider doing it on?
See when she is availible...and don't spend too much time telling her how fir
she is....she probably gets that ALL the time from the customers...be your
charming self...OK PRETEND you are charming 8op
Seriously you will do fine!
Mary McK
Alex
She might like that sort of thing. If you don't ask ...
Alex
Aidan Brack
wrote:
>>I need a woman's perspective. If you worked behind a bar and a man
>>you'd served once asked you if you wanted a drink would you think:
>>a) Woohoo... I've hit the jackpot.
>>b) YES! Wait - It's Aidan. He looks slightly like a Tellytubby-Rory
>>McGrath crossbreed.
>>c) It might be a laugh and he's paying.
>>d) Oh god... I want to avoid it.
>>e) Not again.
>>f) Some other negative comment.
>
>Depends if I was interested or NOT!
I spose.
>>What approach is most likely to bring a rotund freak like myself
>>success in getting an attractive young woman to come out for one drink
>>with me and not detest me?
>
>You are not that heavy...I AM I weigh apprx 350# and am only 5'4"...but I still
>managed to date ALOT (ok I was...er....um...shall we say MORALLY
>challenged<read SLUT>) But I still managed to get married to a rather Fit
>gentleman...OK I had to import him from Scotland, but you do get my drift.
Ok... I'm circa 13st. She's probably around 8. :o(
>I suggest asking her mates if she is unattached and there is no policy at the
>pub against staff dating the customers, so as to save yourself some useless
>rejection. Then just ask her to Starbucks or what ever you have there that is
>similar
I don't know if that's a brilliant idea. I don't like butting into
others' lives. It seems nosey and seedy.
>Get a coffee, tea, smoothie, milkshake....what ever....have some light
>conversation and get a feeling for whether she is amiable to dinner or a cinema
>with you! (I almost said Feel her out....but I know you would have taken that
>wrong<BG>)
Wayhey! That's an idea and a half! ;o) She's probably around 19/20
though and that's the scary part. Before I've asked whether I ought to
ask girls out which is "sweet" I've been told. It's something that
gets to the hearts of 17/18 year olds who have a funny idea of
"romance" but I want to try sincerity.
>>Furthermore, considering that tomorrow is
>>results night, would that be an awfully bad night to consider doing it on?
>
>See when she is availible...and don't spend too much time telling her how fir
>she is....she probably gets that ALL the time from the customers...be your
>charming self...OK PRETEND you are charming 8op
I hope she's not furry... That's never good! ;o)
>Seriously you will do fine!
Aah... This all sounds *so* complicated. I wish I was a woman... I
wish I was a lesbian to be honest. So much more fun and so much less
work. ;o)
Aidan Brack
wrote:
>>>I take that back. The worst that can happen is that she says yes, and
>>>15 years down the line their's a messy divorce involving a brass band
>>>and a goat. But that's fairly unlikely so ASK!
>>
>>Did she and the goat get custody Alex? ;o)
>>No - I want to ask but it's the whole - you're fitter than anyone I've
>>seen in ages and I look like a drunken Tinky-Winky who hasn't slept in
>>5 days. To make matters worse the sword-fighting has made my muscles
>>all relax making my chest appear even more feminine than usual. Zoiks!
>>--
>She might like that sort of thing. If you don't ask ...
LOL... Bastard! ;o)
Simon Jones
> What approach is most likely to bring a rotund freak like myself
> success in getting an attractive young woman to come out for one drink
> with me and not detest me?
There's only one approach that is going to work.
You have to stop thinking of yourself as a rotund detestable freak.
Otherwise you ain't gonna get nowhere, kid.
Simon.
--
* Smelling piss and beer and gas...
s.j...@uea.ac.uk
http://www.smjuea.btinternet.co.uk
Alex
Several friends of ine would disagree with that.
Alex
Alex
Always remember that women are people, therefore, you can never
predict how they will react to a situation. Just ask her out and see
what happens. Good luck.
Alex
Charlie Pearce
charlie...@eidosnet.NO-SPOO-PLEASE.co.uk (Charlie Pearce) wrote:
>On Tue, 14 Aug 2001 20:08:57 GMT, brack....@dnet.co.uk (Aidan
>Brack) wrote:
>
>>Saw a bloody fit waitress in my local today... She found me funny.
>>People don't find me funny.
>
>Well, I laugh at you quite often, if that's any consolation ;-)
Sorry - that particular conjuction of words could be taken as less
than amicable... ;-)
Charlie
--
Remove NO-SPOO-PLEASE from my email address to reply
Please send no unsolicited email or foodstuffs
Charlie Pearce
Brack) wrote:
>Saw a bloody fit waitress in my local today... She found me funny.
>People don't find me funny.
Well, I laugh at you quite often, if that's any consolation ;-)
>Damn.
>
>At least I didn't humiliate myself by flirting (and yes - that *is*
>humiliating - I just can't do it!).
No - flirting is good, flirting is fun, flirting can brighten up your
day.
Good luck mate - I would offer some advice, but I have recently
discovered [1] that women are incomprehensible and unfathomable[2].
Charlie
[1] Got the official notification of my return to singledom last
night, which is a bit of a bugger as on Friday night I was on a canal
boat filled with women in tight trousers, one of whom tried to plant
one on me, but not having had the official flick at the time I reined
myself in all night.
[2] I'm not heartbroken, gutted or even upset, I just can't figure out
why the other weekend a young lady comes on to me in a big way, tells
me (after a few drinks) that she thinks I'm gorgeous[4], has been
after me for weeks, has invented bogus reasons to visit my office just
to see me, and can't sleep at night because she's been thinking about
me, then at the next opportunity gets me upstairs and plays my pink
clarinet, includes many things in conversation alluding to repeat
performances and plans for the future, but then a week later announces
that it's all over.
[4] It *was* established early on that her eyesight without glasses is
pretty non-existent and that she will be getting laser surgery soon.
Oops, I've gone off on one again haven't I - I really do apologise but
I suppose this is what happens when I spend all day at work keeping
such a big secret under my hat (nobody has worked out yet why I spent
one week both grinning like a Cheshire Cat and yawning all morning,
then the next my usual self...).
Has Liz spotted the missing footnote yet?
Aidan Brack
<smj...@btinternet.com> wrote:
>> What approach is most likely to bring a rotund freak like myself
>> success in getting an attractive young woman to come out for one drink
>> with me and not detest me?
>
>There's only one approach that is going to work.
>
>You have to stop thinking of yourself as a rotund detestable freak.
>
>Otherwise you ain't gonna get nowhere, kid.
But I *AM* rotund... I frequently get called detestable... And to say
I'm not a freak! ;o)
Simon Jones
> >There's only one approach that is going to work.
> >
> >You have to stop thinking of yourself as a rotund detestable freak.
> >
> >Otherwise you ain't gonna get nowhere, kid.
> But I *AM* rotund... I frequently get called detestable... And to say
> I'm not a freak! ;o)
Yes, but you seem to think these are all bad things.
Simon.
--
* Get your filthy paws off me, you damn dirty ape!
s.j...@uea.ac.uk
http://www.smjuea.btinternet.co.uk
Simon Jones
"Mary McK" <donaldm...@cs.com.nospam> wrote in message
news:20010815151318...@mb-mg.news.cs.com...
> I suggest asking her mates if she is unattached and there is no policy at
the
> pub against staff dating the customers, so as to save yourself some
useless
> rejection. Then just ask her to Starbucks or what ever you have there
that is
> similar
Nyeargh!!!
Whatever you do, don't invite her to Starbucks. Dear god no.
Simon.
--
* I'm a Dapper Dan man.
s.j...@uea.ac.uk
http://www.smjuea.btinternet.co.uk
Phil Da Lickł
> On 15 Aug 2001 18:45:01 GMT, donaldm...@cs.com.nospam (Mary McK)
> wrote:
>
> >> She's a bloody barmaid. Do you think she'll want to go out for a
> >> feckin' drink? :o(
> >
> >Then ask her to coffee or tea or some such!
> >
> >Geeze you have to just take some guys by the hand!!
> >
> >But I do agree if you don't make some move, you will miss out.
>
> But I don't know if she's available.
Find out! It's obiovus you like her. If she is involved, at least she'll
know you're interested for if it goes tits up.
A faint heart never won a fair lady.
Phil Da Lickł
news:3b7ae27...@news.freeserve.net...
I'll second that. Let us know how you got on.
*fingers crossed for ya*
Phil Da Lickł
> No - I want to ask but it's the whole - you're fitter than anyone I've
> seen in ages and I look like a drunken Tinky-Winky who hasn't slept in
"you're fitter than anyone I've seen in ages" is *not* a good line to use.
Phil Da Lickł
World'd be a pretty fucking boring place if everybody was the same/liked the
same kind of people.
Believe in yourself. If she blows you out, it's her loss. On to the next.
You'll never find anyone special unless you try.
Phil Da Lickł
> I don't know if that's a brilliant idea. I don't like butting into
> others' lives. It seems nosey and seedy.
Two words: Relax. Humour. If you can manage a combination of the two you'll
be fine. And No, I don't mean flop down on the bar where she works and spout
cheesy jokes all night, that'll piss her right off. I mean just talk to her,
like she's human, have a laugh, chill.
> >See when she is availible...and don't spend too much time telling her how
fir
> >she is....she probably gets that ALL the time from the customers...be
your
> >charming self...OK PRETEND you are charming 8op
>
> I hope she's not furry... That's never good! ;o)
Yep, it is.
Mark Blunden
news:9lfvm1$8s6bb$2...@ID-98317.news.dfncis.de...
>
> "Mary McK" <donaldm...@cs.com.nospam> wrote in message
> news:20010815151318...@mb-mg.news.cs.com...
> > I suggest asking her mates if she is unattached and there is no policy
> > at the pub against staff dating the customers, so as to save yourself
> > some useless rejection. Then just ask her to Starbucks or what ever
> > you have there that is similar
>
> Nyeargh!!!
>
> Whatever you do, don't invite her to Starbucks. Dear god no.
Because he spends all night boring the guests with tales of his glory days
as a Colonial Viper pilot?
--
Mark.
mar...@bigfoot.com
* Mmm - crunchy frog!
Aidan Brack
<phil_t...@DONOTSPAMMEORELSE.hotmail.com> wrote:
.
>> I don't know if that's a brilliant idea. I don't like butting into
>> others' lives. It seems nosey and seedy.
>
>Two words: Relax. Humour. If you can manage a combination of the two you'll
>be fine. And No, I don't mean flop down on the bar where she works and spout
>cheesy jokes all night, that'll piss her right off. I mean just talk to her,
>like she's human, have a laugh, chill.
Day barmaid... It didn't work but we did laugh about it. :o)
>> >See when she is availible...and don't spend too much time telling her how
>fir
>> >she is....she probably gets that ALL the time from the customers...be
>your
>> >charming self...OK PRETEND you are charming 8op
>>
>> I hope she's not furry... That's never good! ;o)
>
>Yep, it is.
She'll be like the Yeti in Troughton's era. ;o)
Aidan Brack
I know... I don't use lines. :o)
Aidan Brack
<phil_t...@DONOTSPAMMEORELSE.hotmail.com> wrote:
>> >But I do agree if you don't make some move, you will miss out.
>>
>> But I don't know if she's available.
>
>Find out! It's obiovus you like her. If she is involved, at least she'll
>know you're interested for if it goes tits up.
>
>A faint heart never won a fair lady.
A fair heart might win a faint lady though! ;o)
Phil Da Lickł
Good. Thats a start. Get to know her. Once you feel comfortable ask her out.
Maybe she'll let onto an interest like bowling or summat, at which point you
can immediately leap in with "oh I like that too, fancy going sometime?" --
as long as the interest isnt barbie dolls or some shit like that, you'll end
up looking stoopid :)
John Duffey
> Or else you're REALLY into lesbianism! ;o)
Isn't everyone <smj>REALLY</smj> into lesbianism?
John, who got a rather unfortunate C for chemistry and an even more
unfortunate E for biology.
Mind you, him getting a grade at all for biology is bloody impressive,
considering he missed an exam which carried one third of the marks!
John Duffey
> Ok... I'm circa 13st. She's probably around 8. :o(
Just more of you to love, baby.
Remember, I managed to pull when I was about your weight. And that was
a fit Kiwiwoman. And she looks remarkably like Angelina Jolie.
And she fell in love with me.
So ok, admittedly I wasn't all that lucky, and she is two years
younger, but I pulled her nonetheless and I was a fat bastard at the
time.
> I don't know if that's a brilliant idea. I don't like butting into
> others' lives. It seems nosey and seedy.
It smacks of cowardice.
Ask her straight up. Go on, it's what I'd do. (Or what I would have
done before I suddenly became a Southern Cunt - must do something
about that)
> Wayhey! That's an idea and a half! ;o) She's probably around 19/20
> though and that's the scary part.
Yeap, 19/20 year old girls are scary.
Bloody things can't make their minds up. The sensible "let's just have
some fun" part is kicking in, but they're still somewhat uneasy with
not being in the 13-18 mindset of "I love you" and "It's got to be
perfect before I fuc^H^H^Hmake love with you"
Once they get to about 21, 22 odd, they've got it down to an art.
When they get to about 25/26 - that's when they start doing some
really exciting stuff. When they get past 27/28, that's when they
start getting filthy.
When they get to the Bridge Country Club, that's when they can suck
you up, tie you in a knot and spit you back out again. Them there are
the classy lasses, and you'd do best to avoid them till you've got
some experience on your side.
> Before I've asked whether I ought to
> ask girls out which is "sweet" I've been told. It's something that
> gets to the hearts of 17/18 year olds who have a funny idea of
> "romance" but I want to try sincerity.
As I've often said young Master. Brack - don't ever be "Sweet" if you
want to pull. Be a mysoginistic little cunt and you'll have them
begging you to feel them from the inside.
> I hope she's not furry... That's never good! ;o)
Oh you haven't lived till you've had a nibble on a fur burger!
> >Seriously you will do fine!
> Aah... This all sounds *so* complicated. I wish I was a woman... I
> wish I was a lesbian to be honest. So much more fun and so much less
> work. ;o)
This is true.
Actually, a bloody good plan is to get friendly with a lesbian and get
her to give you tips. It's amazing what you'll learn!
John
Aidan Brack
Sorry to hear that John-boy. It WAS impressive though that you didn't
get a U for Biology. Shows you how well you did on the other 2 papers!
Aidan Brack
>> Ok... I'm circa 13st. She's probably around 8. :o(
>
>Just more of you to love, baby.
Gotta remember that one!
>Remember, I managed to pull when I was about your weight. And that was
>a fit Kiwiwoman. And she looks remarkably like Angelina Jolie.
>
>And she fell in love with me.
>
>So ok, admittedly I wasn't all that lucky, and she is two years
>younger, but I pulled her nonetheless and I was a fat bastard at the
>time.
>
>> I don't know if that's a brilliant idea. I don't like butting into
>> others' lives. It seems nosey and seedy.
>
>It smacks of cowardice.
>
>Ask her straight up. Go on, it's what I'd do. (Or what I would have
>done before I suddenly became a Southern Cunt - must do something
>about that)
Yes - but you've got that whole "John Duffey" thing going for you!
>> Wayhey! That's an idea and a half! ;o) She's probably around 19/20
>> though and that's the scary part.
>
>Yeap, 19/20 year old girls are scary.
>
>Bloody things can't make their minds up. The sensible "let's just have
>some fun" part is kicking in, but they're still somewhat uneasy with
>not being in the 13-18 mindset of "I love you" and "It's got to be
>perfect before I fuc^H^H^Hmake love with you"
>
>Once they get to about 21, 22 odd, they've got it down to an art.
>
>When they get to about 25/26 - that's when they start doing some
>really exciting stuff. When they get past 27/28, that's when they
>start getting filthy.
>
>When they get to the Bridge Country Club, that's when they can suck
>you up, tie you in a knot and spit you back out again. Them there are
>the classy lasses, and you'd do best to avoid them till you've got
>some experience on your side.
I don't WANT to know what you did there... ;o)
>> Before I've asked whether I ought to
>> ask girls out which is "sweet" I've been told. It's something that
>> gets to the hearts of 17/18 year olds who have a funny idea of
>> "romance" but I want to try sincerity.
>
>As I've often said young Master. Brack - don't ever be "Sweet" if you
>want to pull. Be a mysoginistic little cunt and you'll have them
>begging you to feel them from the inside.
I have a funny feeling that it's far more fun if she's clearly in
charge.
>> I hope she's not furry... That's never good! ;o)
>
>Oh you haven't lived till you've had a nibble on a fur burger!
Excuse me - I have to go puke.
>> >Seriously you will do fine!
>
>> Aah... This all sounds *so* complicated. I wish I was a woman... I
>> wish I was a lesbian to be honest. So much more fun and so much less
>> work. ;o)
>
>This is true.
>
>Actually, a bloody good plan is to get friendly with a lesbian and get
>her to give you tips. It's amazing what you'll learn!
lol... Good idea. Gotta get me one of those. In the meantime I'm just
gonna get to know her and the rest at my local. Seems like the best
idea.
John Duffey
> Find out! It's obiovus you like her. If she is involved, at least she'll
> know you're interested for if it goes tits up.
Isn't "Tits up" the desired outcome?
ie. her on her back?
John
John Duffey
> Yes - but you've got that whole "John Duffey" thing going for you!
True, true. There are only a few people in the world who can clain
that.
> >As I've often said young Master. Brack - don't ever be "Sweet" if you
> >want to pull. Be a mysoginistic little cunt and you'll have them
> >begging you to feel them from the inside.
>
> I have a funny feeling that it's far more fun if she's clearly in
> charge.
Oooh, we have ourselves a sub in the ranks! <g>
In which case - you *really* need to get yourself down to Bridge
Country Club!
> >> I hope she's not furry... That's never good! ;o)
> >
> >Oh you haven't lived till you've had a nibble on a fur burger!
>
> Excuse me - I have to go puke.
Er...
Cunnilingus is fantastic. But then I think it's much more fun if I'm
clearly in charge.
If it's a choice between giving or recieving oral sex I'd have to say
that there's absolutely no choice whatsoever. Blowjobs - nasty.
Licking out - Fantastic.
John
Simon Jones
"John Duffey" <jdu...@freeuk.com> wrote in message
news:c416aa06.01081...@posting.google.com...
> > Or else you're REALLY into lesbianism! ;o)
> Isn't everyone <smj>REALLY</smj> into lesbianism?
Er, no.
Simon.
--
* So you have a sister...
s.j...@uea.ac.uk
http://www.smjuea.btinternet.co.uk
Simon Jones
> >Ask her straight up. Go on, it's what I'd do. (Or what I would have
> >done before I suddenly became a Southern Cunt - must do something
> >about that)
> Yes - but you've got that whole "John Duffey" thing going for you!
That depends entirely on your point of view.
Simon. :)
--
* He's at home - washing his tights!
s.j...@uea.ac.uk
http://www.smjuea.btinternet.co.uk
Simon Jones
"Phil Da Lickł" <phil_t...@DONOTSPAMMEORELSE.hotmail.com> wrote in
message news:tnnoitc...@corp.supernews.com...
> > I know... I don't use lines. :o)
> Good. Thats a start. Get to know her. Once you feel comfortable ask her
out.
> Maybe she'll let onto an interest like bowling or summat, at which point
you
> can immediately leap in with "oh I like that too, fancy going
sometime?" --
> as long as the interest isnt barbie dolls or some shit like that, you'll
end
> up looking stoopid :)
Oh, I dunno. You could go all ironic and post-modern on her.
Heh. That could be funny as hell. Of course, unless she's really paying
attention it won't get you very far.
Simoin.
p.s. Alternatively, you could always try this tagline:
--
* Hubba hubba hubba, who d'ya love?
s.j...@uea.ac.uk
http://www.smjuea.btinternet.co.uk
Aidan Brack
>> Yes - but you've got that whole "John Duffey" thing going for you!
>
>True, true. There are only a few people in the world who can clain
>that.
You appear to be as drunk as I am now. That's probably not a
>> >As I've often said young Master. Brack - don't ever be "Sweet" if you
>> >want to pull. Be a mysoginistic little cunt and you'll have them
>> >begging you to feel them from the inside.
>>
>> I have a funny feeling that it's far more fun if she's clearly in
>> charge.
>
>Oooh, we have ourselves a sub in the ranks! <g>
Or a guy who REALLY likes S&M. ;o)
>In which case - you *really* need to get yourself down to Bridge
>Country Club!
lol... Will do when at Uni. ;o) I need to mature slightly first IMHO.
>> >> I hope she's not furry... That's never good! ;o)
>> >
>> >Oh you haven't lived till you've had a nibble on a fur burger!
>>
>> Excuse me - I have to go puke.
>
>Er...
>
>Cunnilingus is fantastic. But then I think it's much more fun if I'm
>clearly in charge.
That's not what I'm saying. I'd prefer it WITHOUT the fur.
>If it's a choice between giving or recieving oral sex I'd have to say
>that there's absolutely no choice whatsoever. Blowjobs - nasty.
>Licking out - Fantastic.
I wouldn't argue particularly!
--
Aidan Brack
Who is very much the rotund Matt Damon a-like...
Aidan Brack
<smj...@btinternet.com> wrote:
>> >Ask her straight up. Go on, it's what I'd do. (Or what I would have
>> >done before I suddenly became a Southern Cunt - must do something
>> >about that)
>
>> Yes - but you've got that whole "John Duffey" thing going for you!
>
>That depends entirely on your point of view.
It could I suppose go for other people in the "him or me" sense of the
word! ;o)
Steve Brooks
"John Duffey" wrote
> "Phil Da Lick?" wrote
> > Find out! It's obiovus you like her. If she is involved, at least she'll
> > know you're interested for if it goes tits up.
>
> Isn't "Tits up" the desired outcome?
>
> ie. her on her back?
And I thought you youngsters had more imagination...
--
SB
Steve Brooks
"Simon Jones" wrote
> "John Duffey" wrote
> > > Or else you're REALLY into lesbianism! ;o)
>
> > Isn't everyone <smj>REALLY</smj> into lesbianism?
>
> Er, no.
Not even as a spectator sport?
--
SB
Jimbo
of alt.babylon5.uk, charlie...@eidosnet.NO-SPOO-PLEASE.co.uk
(Charlie Pearce) mentioned in about 99 lines
<snip>
>[2] I'm not heartbroken, gutted or even upset, I just can't figure out
>why the other weekend a young lady comes on to me in a big way, tells
>me (after a few drinks) that she thinks I'm gorgeous[4], has been
>after me for weeks, has invented bogus reasons to visit my office just
>to see me, and can't sleep at night because she's been thinking about
>me, then at the next opportunity gets me upstairs and plays my pink
>clarinet, includes many things in conversation alluding to repeat
>performances and plans for the future, but then a week later announces
>that it's all over.
>
that's women for you...
Jimbo (got married wearing socks)
--
ji...@felixent.farce9.co.uk [replace farce9 with force9]
http://www.felixent.force9.co.uk/jimbo - ICQ: 28609838
* do you wash your socks?
Steve Brooks
"Jimbo" wrote
<snip>
> that's women for you...
>
> Jimbo (got married wearing socks)
I hope you remembered to take them off later!
--
SB
Simon Jones
"Steve Brooks" <st...@REMOVETHIS6vaudrey.freeserve.co.uk> wrote in message
news:9lk9uu$ea4$2...@newsg2.svr.pol.co.uk...
> > Er, no.
> Not even as a spectator sport?
hm. Not majorly, no.
Simon.
--
* Get your filthy paws off me, you damn dirty ape!
s.j...@uea.ac.uk
http://www.smjuea.btinternet.co.uk
John Duffey
> >Cunnilingus is fantastic. But then I think it's much more fun if I'm
> >clearly in charge.
>
> That's not what I'm saying. I'd prefer it WITHOUT the fur.
Hmmm.
I can't say I've ever had an experience with a lady who's shaved it
all off - I'm not entirely sure I'd want to either. From pictures I've
seen, it just looks silly.
John
Aidan Brack
>> >Cunnilingus is fantastic. But then I think it's much more fun if I'm
>> >clearly in charge.
>>
>> That's not what I'm saying. I'd prefer it WITHOUT the fur.
>
>Hmmm.
>
>I can't say I've ever had an experience with a lady who's shaved it
>all off - I'm not entirely sure I'd want to either. From pictures I've
>seen, it just looks silly.
Let me rephrase - without the fur in my mouth. (Is it just me or *is*
the post obscene? *grins*)
Peter Smith
phil_t...@DONOTSPAMMEORELSE.hotmail.com says...
> > No - I want to ask but it's the whole - you're fitter than anyone I've
> > seen in ages and I look like a drunken Tinky-Winky who hasn't slept in
>
> "you're fitter than anyone I've seen in ages" is *not* a good line to use.
Can I suggest "I bet you bang like the shithouse door when typhoid's in
town" isn't a good one either.
As is "You a goer then?" or "Phwoar"
Pete.
--
NOTE! Email address is spamtrapped
Remove the last m and replace nospam with polaris to reply by mail
Aidan Brack
<nos...@ursaminr.clara.com.uk> wrote:
>> > No - I want to ask but it's the whole - you're fitter than anyone I've
>> > seen in ages and I look like a drunken Tinky-Winky who hasn't slept in
>>
>> "you're fitter than anyone I've seen in ages" is *not* a good line to use.
>
>Can I suggest "I bet you bang like the shithouse door when typhoid's in
>town" isn't a good one either.
>
>As is "You a goer then?" or "Phwoar"
What if you're a delightful cockney?
Arthur Buse
>I can't say I've ever had an experience with a lady who's shaved it
>all off - I'm not entirely sure I'd want to either. From pictures I've
>seen, it just looks silly.
He doesn't want to get tell-tale hairs stuck in his teeth. :-)
Arthur.
--
Use the idle cycles of your PC to do computational chemistry
that might help fight cancer http://www.ud.com/
KaTiE
> >Can I suggest "I bet you bang like the shithouse door when typhoid's in
> >town" isn't a good one either.
> >
> >As is "You a goer then?" or "Phwoar"
"do you like Bread?" always works
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Steve Brooks
"Aidan Brack" wrote
> What if you're a delightful cockney?
That's one of those contradictory descriptions (cf military intelligence)
--
SB
Steve Brooks
"Peter Smith" wrote
> phil_t...@DONOTSPAMMEORELSE.hotmail.com says...
> > "Aidan Brack" wrote
> > > No - I want to ask but it's the whole - you're fitter than anyone I've
> > > seen in ages and I look like a drunken Tinky-Winky who hasn't slept in
> >
> > "you're fitter than anyone I've seen in ages" is *not* a good line to
use.
>
> Can I suggest "I bet you bang like the shithouse door when typhoid's in
> town" isn't a good one either.
>
> As is "You a goer then?" or "Phwoar"
How about "Get your coat love, you've pulled."?
(PS When I originally typed this I accidentally wrote 'goat'... That might
work better.)
--
SB
Phil Da Lickł
"You've got spanner eyes love"?