Are we addicted to our emotions

[Slip Disc]

Not sure how to put this but, is there a connection between the need
to experience emotion and peptides? Are we since childhood
conditioned to certain emotions to the point that we have come to feel
comfort from them and now need to create situations in which we can
get our fix? Is it possible?

[ornamentalmind]

Perhaps you are looking for a 'scientific' answer? If so, read no
further.

The answer to your question is "yes".

[archytas]

The situation has been held to be the fix Slip. I vaguely remember
someting called symbolic intereactionism and people having to be
taught to experience drugs 'properly'. Misery loves company as we all
know. I actually can't drink without company. Our old dog died on
Saturday and I was distraught for a couple of hours, yet am now
comforted by thought of him. People generally trap themselves into
responses and fixes. There is work at cell-level on this and, of
course, massive contributions (at least in bulk) from psychology and
social theory. There is even something called social choice theory
that really suggests that to get people to make the right choices for
society, you have to ensure they get a personal lollipop for making
that choice. It is clear that some people are so desperate to feel
emotions they want they will go to extreme lengths to secure them.
This is the essence of drug use.

> > get our fix?  Is it possible?- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

[Slip Disc]

It is very interesting but I don't see why some people would want to
continually experience anger for the sake of a fix. It would seem more
likely that the anger would have an adverse effect on the overall
health of the individual. Also, I've wondered why battered women
continually wind up in abusive relationships and now I'm see it in a
different way. Is being abused and emotional fix?

[Molly Brogan]

I'm not sure that people do want to continue to be angry or abused.
But unless they are willing to self examine, recognize patterns, self
correct and take responsibility for their own development in a way
that allows them to restructure ego and all of the patterned behavior
that it holds for them - chances are they will not move beyond it. I
think that Neil is right. Sometimes people choose anger or rage
because they know how to elicit these emotions, having been taught at
an early age. They seem to think that feeling these are better than
feeling nothing at all, painting themselves into the corner where, in
order to feel anything else, they will have to let go of the anger
that isolates them (pushing others away) and keeps the love and
compassion at bay.

Not all battered women continually wind up in abusive relationships
but it is true that many do. The cycle of abuse is more complicated,
but transcending it still involves self examination and willingness to
do what it takes to move beyond. Self examination can be painful and
it is hard to remember that it is also liberating while you are
feeling the pain. Not everyone, it seems, is able to move through the
pain to get to the liberation from it.

[frantheman]

"Sometimes people choose anger or rage
because they know how to elicit these emotions, having been taught at
an early age. They seem to think that feeling these are better than

feeling nothing at all ..."

So much truth here, Molly, as anyone who has ever had dealings with
people suffering from borderline disorders (and there are many
indeed), will immediately recognise. And so much pain. But still seen
as better than feeling nothing.

http://de.youtube.com/watch?v=AO9dbmJ_2zU

Francis

On 12 Okt., 17:08, Molly Brogan <mbro...@mollybroganenterprises.com>
wrote:

> > > > - Show quoted text -- Zitierten Text ausblenden -
>
> - Zitierten Text anzeigen -

[Molly Brogan]

Wonderful Johnny Cash piece, Francis. I love the not so subtle
imagery in the piece that really allows us to feel the pain of our own
crucifixion. I think so many times, the pain IS the crucifixion and
we forget that without completing the crucifixion there can be no
resurrection.

[ornamentalmind]

"...I don't see why some people would want to continually experience
anger for the sake of a fix...." - slip

IF one can see why a person would drink coffee, this all becomes quite
clear.

> > > - Show quoted text -- Hide quoted text -

[gabbydott]

A lot of the video's imagery is taken from the film "Walk the line".

On 12 Okt., 18:22, Molly Brogan <mbro...@mollybroganenterprises.com>
wrote:

[Slip Disc]

> I'm not sure that people do want to continue to be angry or abused. < molly
I'm not sure that people don't want to continue to be angry or abused
just based on my experience with people who continually find
themselves in the same pit.
I dated this woman once who would continually gripe at the traffic
situation but at the same time would continually choose to steer
herself into the problems. As an example, up ahead is a red light on a
3 lane road two cars in the left lane one car in the right but she
would pull behind the fully loaded dump truck in the center lane and
then go off on a tirade about being stuck behind it, throwing her arms
up and yelling to the truck. This was very typical of her driving
habit. As soon as we walk into a retail store she would start griping
about how long it was taking for someone to give her service. It was
almost as if she loved it. Needless to say I couldn't really spend
much time around her. I guess you are right about the recognition of
and willingness to make changes in the behavioral aspects, without
which positive development in unlikely.
I didn't mean to imply that all battered women cycle themselves on the
abusive carousel. I know that many, with support, free themselves from
the vicious cycle. I have myself given refuge to many as well as
homeless people and families. Many times the results would be
positive but unfortunately some would ultimately spiral back into the
mire, and I could never understand it. Several months ago I took in
the homeless uncle of a friend, offered a private room and bath,
provided meals and offered small compensation in exchange for helping
out around the house. After less than 2 weeks he never returned and
soon he was on the nightly news as being struck by a drunk truck
driver while crossing the street. I'm starting to think that he was
addicted to the concept of being homeless and felt more comfortable
with that than with having a place to live. Do you think that is
possible?
The reason I started this thread is because I never heard about the
peptide association with emotion and the addiction aspect. If it is a
valid aspect then it would explain many of the experiences I've had
with past relationships and many people who I know and have known. I
didn't realize I hangout with so many addicts LOL.






On Oct 12, 10:08 am, Molly Brogan <mbro...@mollybroganenterprises.com>
wrote:

[Slip Disc]

That was awesome and also a great example to use for this thread.
Thanks Fran!!

[Slip Disc]

No Schitt?

[archytas]

Satre once said there was no explanation of emotions - in a book
called a Sketch for a Theory of Emotion (lying swine!). Made me
angry! They are strange. My dog died on Saturday - had a bad last
hour but in the end hes had a good run. I'm nearly crying typing
this, yet will feel better for the 'tears' later. He was a great dog
- my mate's guide dog at first, retiring with us. Buried him at the
bottom of the garden under a willow tree. 'Tears' (choking up) yet
I'm rather pleased - he went quickly and without much pain - and it's
good not to have to climb over him and clean up after him and not have
all my clothes covered with his hair. Have him straight back if
Sooty's magic wand worked of course. I suspect that grieving and
stuff like domestic abuse work in relief from it later - and also that
certain types of anger release pain-killing endorphins. Strong
adrenaline rushes can takes months to 'evaporate' from the system -
some of my best rugby and fast bowling was done after dangerous car
chases as a cop - though in the weekend following being shot at I
dropped catches all over the ground! These days diabetes brings mood
swings and flows of stuff I'd rather be without, yet I can't say I
would not want to be depressed (clinically) from time to time living
in this world.

> > > > - Zitierten Text anzeigen -- Hide quoted text -

[Lonlaz]

The title of this thread throws me off, it doesn't assimilate well in
my world view. You might as well ask, "Are we addicted to thought?",
and I suppose that is an equally valid/interesting question. I don't
see how anyone can dissasociate their emotions from themselves. I'll
interpret this one as "Are we addicted to STRONG emotions?"

Speaking for myself, I am attracted to situations that can invoke
strong emotional responses. And I can definitely understand people
who LIKE to be angry, or dissapointed. I also know people who avoid
these exact same situations. I believe the difference is an
individuals attraction to excitement/novelty. As far as people
attracted to specific emotions: anger, helplessness, that is a
different subject entirely.

[Molly Brogan]

Sorry to hear about your buddy, Neil. I've lost a few along the way,
and still miss that unconditional love, expressed in the doggy smile
and waggy tail and full body nuzzle. My heart goes out to you.

In regard to our emotions, they certainly are a significant part of
who we are, like our thoughts and health (physical responses.) The
rush of endorphins, adrenaline or other body response is usually part
of the program that we keep in our ego that is based on our history of
emotional responses. We do this functionally, so that we don't have
to re-learn everything emotionally every time a response is required.
When we understand our habitual or programed emotional responses, and
they serve to improve the quality of our lives, we are said to have a
high emotional quotient (EQ like IQ) There are other models that
explain this, but this is as good as any. When we don't understand
our why we respond the way we do emotionally, our patterns of response
or how they fit into the overall function of our ego, we are said to
have a low EQ. When our run away emotional responses push others away
and isolate us, this dysfunction usually falls into a diagnosis of
Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, or
some other diagnosable character disorder. Folks like this allow
anger and other negative emotions related to fear lead the way, and
usually have no clue of the effect it has on their lives. The pain
that they feel from their isolation and their inability to face it
usually keeps them trapped where they are, because without exploring
and releasing the pain, anger etc., they will stay in their disorder.

Anger itself is a legitimate emotion and can be well used when
expressed in a manner that is not destructive. We all feel it from
time to time, although it is thought that the higher the EQ, the less
the more negative emotions are experienced. You may be able to find
some studies on this, I don't know. It has been a long time since I
studied the topic. What I also know is that unless we can explore ego
and do the work necessary to establish its efficacy, development of
the deeper spiritual aspects of being are prevented. Ken Wilber has
some excellent material on this topic if anyone is interested.

Probably the most common dysfunction of this kind is the Narcissistic
Personality Disorder. I would venture to say that if we think about
it, we all know a narcissist or two. Here is a nice article on that:

Is "Narcissistic Personality Disorder" Destroying the World?
Posted on Oct 11th, 2008 by mike S

It seems fundamentally evident that, in order to aspire to a career in
politics, one must eventually seek ‘votes' to advance one's career to
ever higher office. Seeking votes means essentially being liked and to
be elected to political office means being liked by more people than
others seeking the same office.

This requires the acute and finely detailed tailoring of one's ‘self'
in order to be liked, as opposed to NOT liked. This process easily
eliminates those who are unable, for whatever reason, to tailor the
‘self' in a way that generates votes through ‘likability.' This
tailoring process seems so deeply inherent to a political career, that
the political aspirant may need to compromise his or her longstanding
values and standards to achieve votes. A career in politics is not
necessarily compatible with higher values like integrity (maybe this
is why so much corruption exists in the field).

In fact, if standards and values are not to some degree compromised in
order to increase ‘likability' and collect votes, then the politician
will eventually be eliminated from the field or at the least stuck in
less esteemed positions. This elimination process, particularly in
seeking the highest offices in which more votes are required, tends to
produce a specific character type that, in many cases, may be inclined
toward personality or character dysfunction almost to the point of a
full-blown personality disorder.

I have found that the specific character disorder frequently exhibited
by political aspirants is labeled Narcissistic Personality Disorder by
the American Psychiatric Association, APA, (In fact, the spiritual
philosopher, Ken Wilber, believes that "narcissism" is one of the most
significant impediments to Deep Spirit, although his "narcissism" is a
bit more complicated that the APA's definition).

The APA has never, to my knowledge, made any psychological
classification of politicians. However, I believe it is warranted. The
problem is that in the field of politics it can be very difficult or
almost impossible to identify those politicians with the disorder,
since we all realize and tend to accept that politics is often a
personality competition of celebrity proportions. Therefore, we could
be witnessing a full-blown Narcissistic disordered personality right
before our eyes, yet fail to recognize the symptoms of the disorder
due to the very nature of politics in this postmodern age.

My point in this essay is in relation to the appearance of Deep Spirit
and not necessarily, the appearance of narcissistic symptoms. However,
Narcissism impedes Deep Spirit, particularly in those exhibiting
symptoms of the disorder, and is generated primarily from fear. More
specifically, in politics the fear is of not attaining votes because
more voters dislike the political candidate. This is the fear of un-
likability, that we all on some level experience. Yet my being
disliked by many people may not result in the need to tailor my
personality in order to be more liked so as to enhance my career, but
for the politician this tailoring is crucial to career enhancement.

Narcissism is a personality or "character" disorder actually
diagnosable through the psychiatric model of mental disorders as
defined by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual or Mental Disorders
(DSM-IV). The officially accepted criteria for Narcissistic
Personality Disorder according to the DSM-IV is as follows :

A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for
admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and
present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of
the following:

(1) has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates
achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without
commensurate achievements)

(2) is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power,
brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

(3) believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be
understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status
people (or institutions)

(4) requires excessive admiration

(5) has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of
especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her
expectations

(6) is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others
to achieve his or her own ends

(7) lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the
feelings and needs of others

(8) is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of
him or her

(9) shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes


Although Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a classification of the
psychiatric model of mental disorders, the condition is pervasive to
the personality or ‘self' and is essentially impervious to
medications, and most psychotherapies. In other words, if you are
afflicted with this ‘disorder,' narcissistic personality is what you
ARE and you most likely can be NO different since the core ‘self' IS
the disorder and will not change (at least, not in this lifetime,
anyway). This is different from psychiatric mental disorders which are
primarily due to brain or neurochemicals imbalances and can be treated
through medications

As the symptoms reveal, there is an almost complete self-absorption
with little regard for others or the suffering of others. In fact,
others are seen as only means to greater enhancement, or advancement,
of the ‘self.' Therefore, any spiritual perspective of ‘oneness,' any
unity of perception or converging of perspectives to include the
collective as opposed to the Narcissistic individual, is essentially
absent or at the least, greatly minimized.

I contend that many of our national leaders meet, if not all the
criteria, many of the symptoms of this character disorder (notice that
only 5 of the 9 symptoms need be met for the diagnosis to be applied).

Based on the limited research available regarding Narcissistic
Personality Disorder it appears to be the result of early childhood
deprivation or neglect in terms of building healthy psychological ego-
self structures. Based on current statistics, only a very small
percentage of the U.S. population is afflicted with this disorder
(many medical statistics claim only 1% of the population, however,
since narcissists rarely admit to the symptoms of this disorder they
rarely attend treatment and thus fail to be statistically counted).

POLITICAL NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER

Due to the grandiose nature of politics, individual politicians must
be predisposed to acquiring high public esteem and self-glorification
through the acquisition of ‘votes' related to election and re-
election. This election process tends to funnel, collect and lump
together those who may be prone to narcissistic personality disorder,
particularly at the highest political levels. This is a bit different
then celebrity status, although certainly there are many narcissistic
personalities in that field as well. Yet, since celebrities tend to be
esteemed based on some artistic talent and exist primarily to
entertain, politicians need not exhibit any specific talent other than
that of tailoring the personality so as to attain the greatest number
of votes thereby beating opposition. In addition, a movie or rock star
can enhance their celebrity status through controversy, while a
politician's career can be completely derailed through anything less
than a perfect personality and a stellar past. Therefore, Narcissistic
Personality Disorder, though evident in other careers, is abundantly
manifest in politics at the highest or national level.

However, this is not to assume that all politicians exhibit the full-
fledged disorder with most of the symptoms. It may be more indicative
of a greater possibility of manifesting the "traits" or "styles" of
the disorder. Some politicians will be more narcissistically
disordered, while others may be less afflicted. But I contend that due
to the nature of the career, most will exhibit symptoms even those who
seem to appear the most "honest" (I hate to say it, but George Bush
tends to conform quite adequately to this model of narcissism)

One thing is certain however, the higher the office the greater the
likelihood that those elected will exhibit symptoms of the disorder as
opposed to merely traits or styles. Therefore, we will suffer, more or
less, dependent on the degree of Narcissistic Personality symptoms the
elected office holder is afflicted by.

Based on this, and my strong belief that regardless of one's professed
religion, seekers of Deep Inner Spirit tend to be more inclined to a
more generous "worldcentric" perspective and a vision that integrates
all levels of our evolving global society. This vision is completely
opposite of narcissism and actually demands the clearing of
narcissistic symptoms (traits and styles) in order for others, as
opposed to ‘self,' to be even considered, let alone considered through
a correspondence with a deeper Spirit within.

However, Narcissistic individuals are very adept at "lip-service" or
telling us what they believe we want to hear regardless of the truth
factor (this is why outright 'lies' are referred to "mis-stating" the
facts) in order to enhance likability and acquire votes . Due to this
magnified self-absorption, they tend to lack a "worldcentric"
perspective and are terminally ‘stuck' in an egocentric view of the
world and others. In fact, they tend NOT to be capable of considering
any other perspective but their own (unless, of course, other
perspectives are similar). The Narcissistic personality is
dysfunctionally self-absorbed and wholly self-oriented and obviously
not amenable to the progress of an evolutionary collective
consciousness that seeks to encompass all perspectives, all the time.

So, when you cast your vote this November, stop to consider which of
the politicians seeking office seem to meet the above psychiatric
criteria. This may help to insure that you are not voting for a
candidate who is Narcissistic Personality Disordered having one chief
value in mind above all others and that is the glorification of self.
If this is the primary perspective they hold, then most likely they
should not hold public office.

Clearly, we are approaching difficult times ahead and the leaders we
choose will need a foundation of Deep Spirit in order to help us seek
that same foundation within ourselves. If we elect officials, no
matter what party, who are personality/character disordered, we have
no one to blame but ourselves for the disorder and corresponding
symptoms we will no doubt experience. Of course, this statement may
initiate an examination of the two-term election of George Bush and
the question:

Can a large segment of a national population be Narcissistic
Personality Disordered? I'll leave that to brighter minds than mine,
but the implications are bone-chilling.

[Molly Brogan]

As I look at this post, I think it is important to add that the
narcissist uses anger to interpersonally exploit, and this can become
habitual. The narcissist loses their temper, and others move away or
acquiesce - the pattern of anger response is established, and used
again and again to achieve an end. Addictive or conscious behavior -
hard to say.

On Oct 13, 9:52 am, Molly Brogan <mbro...@mollybroganenterprises.com>
wrote:

> of votes ...
>
> read more »

[gabbydott]

I see what you mean. And if one focuses on the extreme forms, your
worries make sense. The beta blocking party isn't less scary, though.


On 13 Okt., 17:21, Molly Brogan <mbro...@mollybroganenterprises.com>
wrote:

> ...
>
> Erfahren Sie mehr »

[gruff]

Yes, archy. I too am sorry you lost your dog, but better you to have
lost him than for him to have lost you. You are much better equipped
to deal with that sort of loss than a dog is. I'm close to the end,
as is my dog, Zoe. My only wish is to outlive her for the reason
given above. If I died first, she'd be at a loss to understand and
would be in great pain. I don't want her to experience that. We've
given each other a happy life and I want her last moments to be with
me. I'll probably die shortly thereafter which would give me great
peace.

[gruff]

Allow me to post a piece written by the great playwright, Eugene
O'Neill on the death of his dog ...

THE LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT
OF AN
EXTREMELY DISTINGUISHED DOG

by Eugene O'Neill
Tao House, December 17, 1940

I, SILVERDENE EMBLEM O'NEILL (familiarly known to my family, friends,
and acquaintances as Blemie), because the burden of my years and
infirmities is heavy upon me, and I realize the end of my life is
near, do hereby bury my last will and testament in the mind of my
Master. He will not know it is there until after I am dead. Then,
remembering me in his loneliness, he will suddenly know of this
testament, and I ask him then to inscribe it as a memorial to me.

I have little in the way of material things to leave. Dogs are wiser
than men. They do not set great store upon things. They do not waste
their days hoarding property. They do not ruin their sleep worrying
about how to keep the objects they have, and to obtain the objects
they have not.

There is nothing of value I have to bequeath except my love and my
faith. These I leave to all those who have loved me, to my Master and
Mistress, who I know will mourn me most, to Freeman who has been so
good to me, to Cyn and Roy and Willie and Naomi and -- But if I should
list all those who have loved me, it would force my Master to write a
book. Perhaps it is vain of me to boast when I am so near death, which
returns all beasts and vanities to dust, but I have always been an
extremely lovable dog.

I ask my Master and Mistress to remember me always, but not to grieve
for me too long. In my life I have tried to be a comfort to them in
time of sorrow, and a reason for added joy in their happiness. It is
painful for me to think that even in death I should cause them pain.

Let them remember that while no dog has ever had a happier life (and
this I owe to their love and care for me), now that I have grown blind
and deaf and lame, and even my sense of smell fails me so that a
rabbit could be right under my nose and I might not know, my pride has
sunk to a sick, bewildered humiliation. I feel life is taunting me
with having over-lingered my welcome. It is time I said good-bye,
before I become too sick a burden on myself and on those who love me.
It will be sorrow to leave them, but not a sorrow to die.

Dogs do not fear death as men do. We accept it as part of life, not
as something alien and terrible which destroys life. What may come
after death, who knows? I would like to believe with those my fellow
Dalmatians who are devote Mohammedans, that there is a Paradise where
one is always young and full-bladdered; where all the day one dillies
and dallies with an amorous multitude of houris [lovely nymphs],
beautifully spotted; where jack rabbits that run fast but not too fast
(like the houris) are as the sands of the desert; where each blissful
hour is mealtime; where in long evenings there are a million
fireplaces with logs forever burning, and one curls oneself up and
blinks into the flames and nods and dreams, remembering the old brave
days on earth, and the love of one's Master and Mistress.

I am afraid this is too much for even such a dog as I am to expect.
But peace, at least, is certain. Peace and long rest for weary old
heart and head and limbs, and eternal sleep in the earth I have loved
so well. Perhaps, after all, this is best.

One last request I earnestly make. I have heard my Mistress say,
"When Blemie dies we must never have another dog. I love him so much I
could never love another one." Now I would ask her, for love of me, to
have another. It would be a poor tribute to my memory never to have a
dog again. What I would like to feel is that, having once had me in
the family, now she cannot live without a dog!

I have never had a narrow jealous spirit. I have always held that
most dogs are good (and one cat, the black one I have permitted to
share the living room rug during the evenings, whose affection I have
tolerated in a kindly spirit, and in rare sentimental moods, even
reciprocated a trifle). Some dogs, of course, are better than others.
Dalmatians, naturally, as everyone knows, are best. So I suggest a
Dalmatian as my successor. He can hardly be as well bred or as well
mannered or as distinguished and handsome as I was in my prime. My
Master and Mistress must not ask the impossible. But he will do his
best, I am sure, and even his inevitable defects will help by
comparison to keep my memory green.

To him I bequeath my collar and leash and my overcoat and raincoat,
made to order in 1929 at Hermes in Paris. He can never wear them with
the distinction I did, walking around the Place Vendome, or later
along Park Avenue, all eyes fixed on me in admiration; but again I am
sure he will do his utmost not to appear a mere gauche provincial dog.
Here on the ranch, he may prove himself quite worthy of comparison, in
some respects. He will, I presume, come closer to jack rabbits than I
have been able to in recent years.

And for all his faults, I hereby wish him the happiness I know will
be his in my old home.

One last word of farewell, Dear Master and Mistress. Whenever you
visit my grave, say to yourselves with regret but also with happiness
in your hearts at the remembrance of my long happy life with you:
"Here lies one who loved us and whom we loved." No matter how deep my
sleep I shall hear you, and not all the power of death can keep my
spirit from wagging a grateful tail.

[frantheman]

You have told us of Zoe, gruff, and of your own health problems. May I
express an entirely selfish wish that you remain with us for some
time? The gruff I have got to know as a result of his postings here is
someone I have learned to treasure and, were he gone, I would miss
him.

Francis

> > in this world.- Zitierten Text ausblenden -

[Slip Disc]

I understand your loss. We had just last year laid to rest our oldest
of 20 years. She just couldn't walk anymore. We do get a puppy every 5
years to keep the others up an running so now we are down to 4 dogs
and the oldest is about 10. Then 8, 3 and 4 months. It works for us
as well because it eases the sense of loss having the younger dogs
around. The puppy just learns all the rules from the others so it is
hardly a problem compared to training from scratch. When it comes to
doggies I think we are addicted.

[Slip Disc]

IF I remember correctly I told you some time ago that you weren't
going anywhere anytime soon, so ditch that notion. Permission denied!

[gruff]

Thank you Fran. I hope to be around for a while yet so we can
continue to enjoy each other's company, at least for that while. The
gruff you have come to know is largely due to Zoe and her decade long
companionship while I grew old -- while we both grew old. Had it not
been for her love and affection, I might be a bitter old man, but she
has mellowed both of us in our elder years and I can never thank her
or repay her enough for that.

[gruff]

Yes, I remember, thank you and I will do my best to obey. I don't
have a death wish but there are times when I look forward to it. I
think one can realize and accept when it's time to move on but my time
is not yet at hand.

[gruff]

Regarding the title of this thread ... If I am addicted to my love for
zoe, then it's an addiction I welcome. There are however, other
emotions to which I seem addicted which are not as noble or
uplifting. Anger is probably the most destructively addictive but I
also frequently weep up whenever I hear, see, speak about or do
something good. I'm a mass of conflicting emotions in many ways and
sometimes wonder where the sanity in all of it resides. Perhaps
death will resolve those conflicts but if it doesn't, I may be back.

[Slip Disc]

I often wonder about my death but I really don't fear it as I know it
is a necessary part of my existence. I will die with dignity and be
graceful about the whole of it. Should I contract some insidious
malady I will just let it run it's course and fight it with my mind
but that is about all, when it is time to go it is time to go. This
world is not all that appealing anyway so I don't want to put off the
possibility that there may be a better place. Imagine dying and
getting to a place that was truly paradise, a utopia of all you ever
dreamed it would be. People are living to well over 100 years these
days so there is always the chance of longevity. I think the main
thing is quality of the life you live. I do wish everyone the best of
life and health. May life be full of Peace, Love and Joy!

[ornamentalmind]

“Should I contract some insidious malady I will just let it run it's

course and fight it with my mind but that is about all, when it is

time to go it is time to go.” – SD

May you NOT contract Alzheimer's disease! Your ‘fight’ might not go so
well.

“This world is not all that appealing anyway so I don't want to put

off the possibility that there may be a better place. Imagine dying
and getting to a place that was truly paradise, a utopia of all you

ever dreamed it would be.” – SD

Many say this is possible prior to death. See: The Kingdom, Nirvana
etc.

> > > going anywhere anytime soon, so ditch that notion. Permission denied!- Hide quoted text -

[KenB]

There's something in this. I'm not sure that I'm not addicted to being
rejected. It was probably my fault that the relationship with the love
of my life broke up and I rgeret it very much, but I never actually do
the slightest thing to repair the damage. Could be I'm too smart to
get involved again, could be I'm too "chicken" but having read this
thread it's suddenly occurred to me- maybe I enjoy the suffering!

> > > > > - Show quoted text -- Hide quoted text -

[frantheman]

Welcome to the Eye, Ken!

[Slip Disc]

Welcome! You must be the KenB of the famous KB Homes, right?
Haha!

I see a close relationship between addiction to rejection and fear of
success. The entire issue of emotional addiction that you identify
now was most likely never made aware of or played any part in the
process of relationship deconstruction. We all sometimes in
retrospect see the underlying factors that so adversely contributed to
the problems, hence, the famous expression "If only I knew then what I
know now".
If there is the slightest degree of chance that you could put it all
back together, you should make every attempt to do so. There are many
couples, through intensive introspect, realize the pitfalls that were
overlooked. Your identification of and ability to address this issue
will indicate a new level of awareness and maturity which may be well
received, especially if the other half also has desire for
reconciliation. Of course if she has emotionally moved on then the
point is moot.

[Lonlaz]

Welcome Ken. It's refreshing to see someone make it personal every
once in a while. It brings all those high concept ideas back to
earth.

[ornamentalmind]

"...If there is the slightest degree of chance that you could put it
all back together, you should make every attempt to do so..." - SD

While not rejecting your advice to Mr, Slip, I will share that based
on decades of reflection and internal work I have concluded that while
it is true that we each take our issues into relationships and seldom
'fix' them (our issues) in any meaningful way, and further that IF we
then try a coupling again with a different partner, the probability is
that the same issues will arise...etc., in NO way does this mean that
we should nor have to return to a previous coupling to do the inner
work we need to do. It can be done any place, at any time and in
almost any circumstance.

[KenB]

Thanks for all the welcomes folks. Nice to join such a happy company.
Looking forward to more of the same. I still think that as a
hypoconriac "enjoys" ill health, it can only be that I enjoy rejection
or I would get off my a--- surely!

[Slip Disc]

It is true that, "We take ourselves with us wherever we move".
Being aware of the issue is half the battle won.
Many relationships are lost due to the inability to recognize the
underlying emotional issues, whatever they may be. Recognition of an
emotional addiction creates a new playing field on which to conquer
the addiction and rescue the relationship.

[ornamentalmind]

As romantic a notion as rescuing a relationship might be, ultimately
said relationship is with our ‘self’ in this context.

My memories of my mother are not ‘her’, they are MY memories, quite a
different thing. The same for ex-lovers and wives.

In this way, at every moment we can reflect upon, contemplate and know
that which appears to be ‘other’. Such a unification transcends all
contradiction.

[ornamentalmind]

"...it can only be that I enjoy rejection or I would get off my a---
surely!" - KenB

OK Ken, rather than suggest that you protest too much, say that I
agree with your self observation.
As I’m sure you know, there is much believed about such avoidance
mechanisms today. DBT has practical and ‘scientific’ antidotes. Some
of the theory even makes ‘sense’ in that through such a lens, such
apparently aberrant behavior makes perfect sense rather than being a
puzzlement.

As that well known philosopher, Joe Brown said (via Richard Prior)
“Whacha’ gonna’ do!”*


*(from Richard Pryor: Live on the Sunset Strip)

[ornamentalmind]

"...it can only be that I enjoy rejection or I would get off my a---
surely!" - KenB

OK Ken, rather than suggest that you protest too much, say that I
agree with your self observation.
As I’m sure you know, there is much believed about such avoidance
mechanisms today. DBT has practical and ‘scientific’ antidotes. Some
of the theory even makes ‘sense’ in that through such a lens, such
apparently aberrant behavior makes perfect sense rather than being a
puzzlement.

As that well known philosopher, Joe Brown said (via Richard Prior)
“Whacha’ gonna’ do!”*


*(from Richard Pryor: Live on the Sunset Strip)

On Oct 17, 4:12 am, KenB <noted...@hotmail.com> wrote:

[Slip Disc]

It is not as much the romantic notion as you would have it. I've
witnessed and on occasion assisted in the reconciliation of couples
who otherwise seems doomed. Also in a relationship the healing
process is mutual not based on the self. Reparation of the self is
necessary to initiate the reunion but remains a component of the
overall process. You would be surprised how much love still exists
between estranged/divorced couples. It is usually not a matter of love
but more so the inability to cope with obtuse behavioral patterns of a
spouse.

> ...
>
> read more »

[ornamentalmind]

*** wonders why he "would be surprised" ***

> > > > > > > > > > social theory.  There is even something called social- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -...
>
> read more »