Fwd: Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed
shantanu pathak
From: Sachin Dixit <mrsach...@gmail.com>
Date: Sun, Aug 21, 2011 at 9:09 PM
Subject: Fwd: Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed
To:
had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared.
I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.People
grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to
underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal.
Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger,
remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found
their peace before they departed though, every one of them.
When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do
differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most
common five:
*1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life
others expected of me.
*This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life
is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many
dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of
their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had
made, or not made.
It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams
along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late.
Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.
*2. I wish I didn't work so hard. *
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their
children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this
regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female
patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted
spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the
way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by
creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new
opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
*3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings. *
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As
a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they
were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the
bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may
initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the
end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either
that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way,
you win.
*4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
*Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until
their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many
had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden
friendships slip by over the years. There were many
deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they
deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But
when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life
fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if
possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for
them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they
love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task.
It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end.
That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.
This is a surprisingly common one.
Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had
stayed
stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity
overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of
change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were
content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness
in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way
from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long
before you are dying.
--
sachin .
http://sachindixit.co.in
Regards,
Shantanu Pathak