Z-Con IX: June 19 - June 23, 2013

[Zombie Con]

Registration is open: http://zombiehunters.org/zombiecon/zombiecon2013.php


Your mom called. Unless she's dead. If she's dead, then it was
someone claiming to be your mom. Either way, she told us a few things
about the way you've been living. She let us know how clean you are,
and how good you smell. She told us how you have more than enough
money to eat at fine restaurants, and buy gadgets, and drink clean
water. She told us about your fancy clothes and Egyptian cotton
sheets. Oh yes. We had a long conversation about you.

We both agreed that you shouldn't come to Z-Con IX: The Year Nothing
Sucked. You'd hate it.

Seen we don't have fancy restaurants. You'll be expected to cook your
food over a fire. A fire! Like a primitive.

That clean smell? 5 days and 4 nights camping on a 45 degree incline
full of dirt and rock during the hottest time of the year will get rid
of it. If you come to Z-Con, you're eventually going to smell like a
zoo animal in heat. You'll be dirtier than a used diaper. The parts
that aren't dirty will be flaming red from sunburn. Trust us. This
isn't for you.

Don't click the link below. Definitely don't buy a membership. This
event is attended by ZS members from across the continent. Have you
met those people? Cray Zee. Someone from England came once. That guy
hasn't been back in years. I heard he died from an overdose of
Missouri.

If you attended, you might end up on a float trip, eating MREs and
having beers on a river with these nut jobs. You might find yourself
at a shooting range, surrounded by people offering to let you play
with their toys or offering you instruction if you're new to firearms.
Hell, there's a chance you'd be suckered into watching presentations
about or participating in a hands-on demonstrations of various
survival skills. How is any of that even remotely as awesome as
playing Xbox on your 57inch HDTV? Hint: It isn't.

Oh my god. We haven't even mentioned the ticks, or Manbath(tm). This
event is clearly not for you. That woman claiming to be your mom
surely knows best.

So don't click the link. You don't need to watch nightly zombie
movies under the stars. You've got bluray at home.

Don't buy one of the only 70 memberships available. Leave those for
the fools who find this kind of thing fun.

Heat. Bugs. Dirt. This is clearly not for you. Eff that. Save the
money for sushi. In fact, close this window. Go surf some porn or
download some mp3s. We understand.

http://zombiehunters.org/zombiecon/zombiecon2013.php