zoke...

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Sandeep Hans

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Apr 27, 2013, 6:30:48 AM4/27/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Maine zindgi me dhoke hi khaye h.....
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.mango , grapes, apple, sab dhoke he khaye he ...

ap b dhoke he khana .........!!! :D :D

Gargi Dutta

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Apr 27, 2013, 10:15:44 AM4/27/13
to Sandeep Hans, zoke...@googlegroups.com
Kya time agaya hai :D


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Abhishek Deshpande

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Apr 27, 2013, 12:42:58 PM4/27/13
to Gargi Dutta, Sandeep Hans, zoke...@googlegroups.com
LOL
--
Abhishek Deshpande
Mumbai, India.

Sandeep Hans

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Apr 28, 2013, 2:34:01 AM4/28/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
India ki aisi haalat rahi to Wo din dur nahi jab New channel wale bolenge! " Milte hain Ek Chote se Rape k badh"
really sad situation. :(
---------------------------------

Once Sonia Gandhi asked Rahul Gandhi to book Train tickets. Usne "Bookmyshow" par TRAIN movie ke do tickets book kar diye.

-----------------------------------

Height of FACEBOOK update - "Suhaag raat hai ghunghat utha raha hu main...!!" 125 likes, 1 comment - Bhai update karte rehna...hum online hain.

Sandeep Hans

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Apr 28, 2013, 4:01:24 AM4/28/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com

Sandeep Hans

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Apr 28, 2013, 4:08:48 AM4/28/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Phone rings
GIRL:"Hello..
.
Boy:"My luv how r u doing..??
.
GIRL:"Am fine..
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Boy:"Will you be free during the weekend, and can u come to my house.. ??
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GIRL:"Am sorry I cant make it because Iwill be attending my
aunty's wedding and the nextday i'l be busy,im so occupied..
.
Boy:"Ooh ok,was just planning to take u out for shopping,supris ­ ­e u with an iPhone5, then buy u the dress u've been asking for...
.
GIRL:"I will be coming and I may even spend the whole weekend there if you want my love..
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Boy:"What about the wedding.. ??
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GIRL:"Which wedding,I was joking...
.
Boy:"Me too..:p :O

Sandeep Hans

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Apr 28, 2013, 4:47:01 AM4/28/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Middle age starts when your, BROAD MIND and NARROW WAIST interchange their places...
------------------------------
Saw two guys communicating in sign language. Before I could start feeling sorry for them, they spit their RMD Gutkha and started talking
-----------------------------

Sandeep Hans

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Apr 28, 2013, 7:01:08 AM4/28/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Killing English
1. Principal To Student..." I Saw U Yesterday Rotating Near Girls Hostel Pulling
Cigarette... ? "
2. Class Teacher Once Said :" Pick Up The Paper And Fall In The Dustbin!!!"
3. Once Hindi Teacher Said...."I'm Going Out Of The World To America.."
4. "..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK.."
5. Don't..Laugh At The Back Benches...Other wise Teeth And All Will Be
Fallen Down.....
6. It Was Very Hot In The Afternoon When The Teacher Entered.. She Tried To Switch
The Fan On, But There Was Some Problem.
And Then She Said " Why Is Fan Not Oning" (Ing Form Of On)
7. Teacher In A Furious Mood... Write Down Ur Name And Father Of Ur Name!!
8. "Shhh... Quiet... The Principal Is Revolving Around College"
9. My Manager Started Like This "Hi, I Am Madhu, Married With Two Kids"
10. "Will U Hang That Calendar Or Else I'll HANG MYSELF"
11. LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"
12. Chemistry HOD Comes And Tells Us... "My Aim Is To Study My Son And Marry My
Daughter"
13. Tomorrow Call Ur Parents Especially Mother And Father
14. "Why Are You Looking At The Monkeys Outside When I Am In The Class?!"
15. Lab Assistant Said This When My Friend Wrote Wrong Code.. "I Understand. You
Understand. Computer How Understand?? 
16. Seeing The Principal Passing By, The Teacher Told The Noisy Class.. "Keep
Quiet, The Principal Has Passed Away"
17. Once Teacher Told "If U Talk So Loudly I Will Stand Uping U"
18. Teacher To Students:Don't Spit Outside, The Understand

Sandeep Hans

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Apr 28, 2013, 7:07:58 AM4/28/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
A husband's feelings ===>
.
"I was the reason for the last fight with my wife..
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She asked, 'what's on television'?
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I replied 'Dust'! xD

Sandeep Hans

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Apr 28, 2013, 2:19:25 PM4/28/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com

Sandeep Hans

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Apr 28, 2013, 4:40:40 PM4/28/13
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Sandeep Hans

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Apr 28, 2013, 4:56:20 PM4/28/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Boy:Wo kehti h 
"uske jaisi kabhi koi nahi milegi mujhe" ..! :(

uska nam fb pe likh k search kia to 1750 aur mil gayi.... :D

Sandeep Hans

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Apr 29, 2013, 3:01:15 AM4/29/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Pappu & Ladki standing on the bus stop:
Pappu to ladki: nice lipistic
ladki : thanks
Pappu : nice top & jeans
ladki : thanks
.
Pappu : nice ear-ring
ladki : thanks
.
Pappu : nice neckless .
Ladki : Aawwwwwwwwww thank u so much BHAIYA:))
.
Pappu: kamaal hai fir bhi bilkul chudel lag rahiho:D

Sandeep Hans

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Apr 29, 2013, 3:05:27 AM4/29/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Exam tha sar par aur bacchon ne
padhna chod diya... 
Wah Wah..
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Exam tha sar par aur bachon ne padhna
chod diya..
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CID KA ACP tha toilet me.. 

Aur DAYA ne darwaza tod diya..:p :O :D

Sandeep Hans

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Apr 29, 2013, 3:09:38 AM4/29/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
GIRL- My janu, My baby, Mera
Baccha, My sweetu, My golu..
kya tum mujhse
shadi
karoge? . Bol mela baby
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BOY- Arre kamini, propose kar
rahi hai ya adopt kr 

Sandeep Hans

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Apr 29, 2013, 3:13:19 AM4/29/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Engineering Dimag ;)

Interviewer:" You are driving
alone in your 2 seater car at
night..

Its raining heavily & suddenly
you see 3 people waiting for
bus 1.

An old sick lady who is about
to die..

2. Old friend who once saved ur
life

3. The perfect Partner u have
dreamed about u can only pick one of them,
Which One Would you pick
up..??

Engineering student replied:" I
would give the car keys to my
old friend and ask him to take the lady to
the hospital & stay behind to wait for a bus
with my Dream Mate...♥ :))

Sandeep Hans

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Apr 29, 2013, 4:48:06 AM4/29/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Maths Teacher Was Teaching
Mathematical Conversions

Teacher-If
1000 Kgs= Ton.
Then

For 3000 Kgs
=How Much?

Pappu-
Ton!Ton!Ton!

Sandeep Hans

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Apr 29, 2013, 7:22:36 AM4/29/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Teacher:" maan lo thumhara dost, aur thumhari girl friend ek kashthi me savaar hai,

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aur doobne lagte hai,

batao tum kise bachaoge. ??
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Pappu:" kisi ko nahi, marne do donon ko..

Teacher:" kyu.. ??

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Pappu:" saale dono ek saath kashti me kar kya rahe the.. ?? :p >:O :/

Sandeep Hans

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Apr 29, 2013, 7:51:42 AM4/29/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
nice article: WHEN THE GODDESS DEMANDS CROSS DRESSING

Sandeep Hans

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Apr 29, 2013, 8:26:47 AM4/29/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Creativity

Sandeep Hans

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Apr 29, 2013, 8:29:24 AM4/29/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
2 Best Friends Met After Many Years...

1st One Said "I Missed Ur Smile Alot..."
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But the Other Said 
"I Missed My Own Smile Without U..."

Sandeep Hans

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Apr 29, 2013, 8:30:28 AM4/29/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Friend:" ye naya mobile kab liya.. ??

Pappu:" liya nahi girlfriend ka uthaya hai..
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Friend:" kyo.. ??

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Pappu:" wo pagal roz roz kahti thi tum mera phone nahi uthate...

Bas,,, aaj uthane ka moka mil gaya...

Sandeep Hans

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Apr 29, 2013, 8:31:14 AM4/29/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Teacher: What do we call people living in Turkey?
Student: I don't know Sir.
Teacher: They are called Turks.

What about those in Spain and Germany?

Student: That's easy sir, they are called Sperms and Germs respectively! =)) =D

Sandeep Hans

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Apr 29, 2013, 4:35:02 PM4/29/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Hi Santa,
I am a lady aged 26, I left my husband with the
maid and my baby at home, I drove for just
about 2 km from home & my car engine started to
overheat so I had to turn back to get another
car, when I got home I found my husband in bed with our maid, I don't know what to do now please
help me. Santa's REPLY:
Over heating of the engine after such short distance
can be caused by problems associated with the
radiator, you need to check the oil and water level
in your engine before you start your journey, you
must also make sure your car is serviced regularly to avoid problems in future hope
this helps.

Sandeep Hans

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Apr 29, 2013, 4:35:17 PM4/29/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
A chinese was in hospital, Santa
went to meet him
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Chinese said :"CHING CHONG
MOU CHU CHA and died :/

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Santa went to china to know the
meaning
The meaning was

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KUTTE K BACHE OXYGEN K
PIPE SE APNA PAIR
UTHA :P :D :-P (",)

Sandeep Hans

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Apr 30, 2013, 4:04:35 AM4/30/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Private School Ke Bache Zoo Mein: Oh! Wow Monkey Is Sleeping Dont Disturb
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Govt. Scool Ke Bache: Oye Dekh Tera Baap So Raha Hai Pathar Maar Saale Ko......

Ashwini Ratnoo

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Apr 30, 2013, 4:53:31 AM4/30/13
to Sandeep Hans, zoke...@googlegroups.com
:D


Gargi Dutta

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Apr 30, 2013, 6:03:24 AM4/30/13
to Ashwini Ratnoo, Sandeep Hans, zoke...@googlegroups.com

Sandeep Hans

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Apr 30, 2013, 6:54:08 AM4/30/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Awesome Answers :
.
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... 1- Principal: Are You Chewing Gum?
Student: No, I'm Human Being..!!
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2- Wife: We Are Having Mother For Dinner
Tonight.
Husband: But Darling, I'm Vegetarian..!! How
Can I Eat Her??
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3- Will These Stairs Take Me To The 2nd Floor?
No, You'll Have To Walk As Well..!!
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4- Girl: I Have Changed My Mind..!!
Boy: Thank God, But Does The New One
Works? :D

Sandeep Hans

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Apr 30, 2013, 6:54:41 AM4/30/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Two Commerce Students talking..

X:" oh sorry yaar heard about your breakup... :(
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Y:" yup
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X:" You must be sad na...
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Y:" No yaar We are commerce students!

I have kept 1 gf as reserve for doubtful debts..:p :O :D

Sandeep Hans

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Apr 30, 2013, 6:55:02 AM4/30/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
GIRLS....... :D
.
Petrol Badha
Hum Chup The
Diesel Badha
Fir Bhi Chup The
LPG Badha
fir b Kuch Nhi Bole .

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But ab
Golgappe 5 ke sirf 3!!!!
Ab chup Nhi Rahenge ... :p :O

Sandeep Hans

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Apr 30, 2013, 6:55:31 AM4/30/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
A person goes to the doctor with his 3 year old son.

Person: - Doctor, my son has swallowed a key.

Doctor:- When did he swallowed a key?

Person:- 20 days back.

Doctor:- And you are coming to me now, after 20 days.

Person:- We had a duplicate key, but we lost it today. :D

Sandeep Hans

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Apr 30, 2013, 7:25:52 AM4/30/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com

Sandeep Hans

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Apr 30, 2013, 11:05:15 AM4/30/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Gattu ek lecture attend karta hai.
lecture ke baad use bhookh lagti hai. so he goes to the canteen.
canteen mein gattu ek pav leta hai. jaise hi woh pav khane ke liye uthata hai to
dekhta hai ki uski plate mein "jannat" likha hai.

To janaab ab aapko yeh batana hai ki gattu jiska
lecture attend karke aa raha hai! , us proffessor ka
naam kya hai??? 

guess

The answer is
Ishq Ki Chhaon.
Jinke "Sir" ho "Ishq ki Chhaon"
"Pav" ke neeche "Jannat" hogi...:p :D

Sandeep Hans

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May 1, 2013, 3:19:46 AM5/1/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Boy:"Tumhari aankhe kitni haseen hai...
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Girl:"chhoro na..
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Boy:"Tumhare baal kitne khubsurat hai..
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Girl:"chhoro na..
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Boy:"Tumhare gaal kitne gulabi hai..
.
Girl:"Ab chhoro bhi..

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Boy:"Arrrrey... kamini aur kitna choru..

Itne der se
lambi lambi chhor hi to raha hu tere kehne pe...:p :O :D

Sandeep Hans

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May 1, 2013, 3:21:14 AM5/1/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
[disclaimer: thoda sa non-veg zoke]

Seth ne pappu ko dukaan pe rakha..
Sales 4 Guna ho gayi..
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Seth ek din pappu se milne shop pe aaya to wo Grahak ko Fishing Rod bech raha tha..
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Seth khada ho k dekhne laga..

grahak ne 800 me
fishing rod kharid li..

Pappu bola:" Itne mehnge joote pehan ke fishing
karoge.. ??
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Sports shoe le lo.. Usne 600 ke shoes le liye..
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Pappu bola:" Dhoop lagegi, ek Cap bhi lo, usne le li..
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Pappu bola.. Fishing karte waqt bhookh lagegi to
kuch khane ko le lo Usne chips, biscuit le liye..

Wo bola fish rakhne ke lie ek basket le lo.. usne le li..

Is tarah uska bill 8000 bana..

Seth bahut khush hua bola:" Tum acche sales man
ho, Wo keval fishng rod lene aaya tha aur Tumne itna saman bech diya..:))
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Pappu:" Sethji wo to Biwi ke liye WHISPER lene aaya tha, Maine bola:" 5 din kya karega,

Ja jake machali
pakad.. :p :O :D

Sandeep Hans

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May 1, 2013, 3:22:55 AM5/1/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Engineer boy to riksha wala :

Bhaiya khali ho??

Riksha wala : haan blkul khaali..
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Engineer: fir assignments
complete karke de na,bhagwan
tera bhala karega :) :D :D 

Sandeep Hans

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May 1, 2013, 3:24:11 AM5/1/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Hindi Teacher:" Prasang Sahit
Nimlikhit Pankti ka varnan Kijiye:" Munni badnaam hui, Darling tere liye"
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Student:" Ye Pankti bollywood
ke prasidh Kavi Shri Salman Khan
ke chalchitra ''Dabang'' ke

"Munni Badnaam namak kavita se li gyi hai..

Is kavita mein Kavi mayavi
Sundri Malaika arora ko sambodhit karte huye pyar mein badnaam hone ki
prerna dete hai..
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Kavi ne is kavita ke madhyam se munni ki tulna
jhandu baam athva atom bomb se ki hai..

is kavita se hume kavi ki gehri soch aur tulnatmak
smriti ka ehsaas hota hai...:p :O :D

Sandeep Hans

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May 1, 2013, 3:28:12 AM5/1/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Ek Shadi Mein Achanak Kahin se EkJINN Aa Gaya..
Jinn ko Dekhte Hi:"Larkiyon ki Cheekhein Nikal Gayi,
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Wahan par Ek BABA Jee bhi the,
Unhon ne Larkiyon ko Kaha ke:"Sari Larkiyan Muh Dho Len...
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Jab Woh Sab Muh Dho Kar Aayi to:"
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"Face dekh kar JINN ki Cheekheyn Nikal Gayi..":p:O :D :D

Rahul Garg

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May 1, 2013, 3:29:21 AM5/1/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
@" Munni badnaam hui, Darling tere liye"

ise padhkar hraday pratakal me hi aanand se paripoorn ho gaya :-)

Sandeep Hans

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May 1, 2013, 4:59:13 AM5/1/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com

Sandeep Hans

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May 1, 2013, 6:31:22 AM5/1/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Jaggu: Main Tumhare Liye Sab Kuch Chod Dunga…

GF: Sab Kuch…???

Jaggu: Haan Sab Kuch…

GF: Chalo Apna Facebook Ka Password Batao…

Jaggu: Didi Aap Ghar Jao, Ghar Wale Wait Kar Rahe Honge…

Sandeep Hans

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May 1, 2013, 10:18:05 AM5/1/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Each known element and the country of its discovery.

Tauseef Hussain

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May 1, 2013, 12:12:24 PM5/1/13
to Sandeep Hans, zoke...@googlegroups.com
on dates :

Inline image 1
Tauseef Hussain
Bhubaneswar,India
(http://issuu.com/radiumtau/docs/tauseefhussain_cv)
onDates.jpg

Sandeep Hans

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May 1, 2013, 5:05:26 PM5/1/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Sometimes the anticipated result of an experiment is not something as overt as an explosion, but a quick drop more than ten years in the making.

In 1927 an experiment began to determine if pitch is the brittle solid it appears to be, or a liquid with a viscosity 230 billion times that of water. Soon, there will be only the ninth drop formed since the experiment started and none of the drops have been witnessed as of yet. Professor John Mainstone, the head of the experiment since the early 1960s, notes: “No one has actually seen a drop emerge, so it is getting quite nervy round here. The other eight drops happened while people had their backs turned. For the last drop, in 2000, we had a webcam trained on the experiment, but it broke down … in 1988, when the previous drop was about to emerge, I popped out for a coffee and missed it."

There are currently three webcams pointed at it at all times now, to capture the moment, possibly months from now, when the ninth drop from the world's oldest experiment finally falls.

More info: http://bit.ly/10sLYmT
onDates.jpg

Sandeep Hans

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May 1, 2013, 5:06:13 PM5/1/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com

onDates.jpg

Sandeep Hans

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May 1, 2013, 5:11:45 PM5/1/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com

onDates.jpg

Sandeep Hans

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May 1, 2013, 5:27:21 PM5/1/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Q: Strike the odd one out A. Engineer B. Extra Large Pizza C. Cardiologist D. Comedian Ans. - A, other three can feed a family of four.
onDates.jpg

Sandeep Hans

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May 2, 2013, 3:35:19 AM5/2/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Boy:" Mein Tumhey Bangla Dilaonga, Car Dilaonga,

Gold K Dher Laga Dunga...
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Girl:" Accha Ye Batao Shaam Ko Park Aao Ge Kya ??

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Boy:" Haan Agar MOM Ney BUS Ka Kiraya De Diya To... :p :O
onDates.jpg

Sandeep Hans

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May 2, 2013, 3:36:16 AM5/2/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Wife:" khana kha liya ??
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Husband:" khana kha liya ??
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Wife:" batao na..
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Husband:" batao na..
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Wife:" meri naqal ??
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Husband:" meri naqal ??
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Wife: "I Love U"
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Husband:" Haaaaa, khana kha liya... :p ;-)) :D
onDates.jpg

Sandeep Hans

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May 2, 2013, 3:47:50 AM5/2/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com

onDates.jpg

Sandeep Hans

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May 2, 2013, 3:53:19 AM5/2/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com

onDates.jpg

Sandeep Hans

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May 2, 2013, 5:01:30 AM5/2/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Explain the word "AUTOMATICALLY" 

नहीं पता? 

I'll explain "अगर कोई गंजी लड़की ऑटो में बैठी हो तो उसे कहते है - ऑटो में टकली"
onDates.jpg

Aditya Gopalan

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May 2, 2013, 5:13:27 AM5/2/13
to Sandeep Hans, zoke...@googlegroups.com
Hahaha good one.
onDates.jpg

Sandeep Hans

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May 2, 2013, 6:40:50 AM5/2/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com

onDates.jpg

Sandeep Hans

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May 2, 2013, 7:17:48 AM5/2/13
to Ashish Kumar, zoke...@googlegroups.com
dhanyawaad ashish bhai :)

On Thu, May 2, 2013 at 1:55 PM, Ashish Kumar <ashis...@gmail.com> wrote:
Superb. Needless to say all zokes are high high high quality. Great :)


On Thu, May 2, 2013 at 1:40 PM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote:



Hahaha good one.




















:D


Creativity



GIRL- My janu, My baby, Mera Baccha, My sweetu, My golu.. kya tum mujhse shadi karoge? . Bol mela baby . ...... ...... . . ..BOY- Arre kamini, propose karrahi hai ya adopt kr 
On Mon, Apr 29, 2013 at 10:05 AM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: Exam tha sar par aur bacchon ne padhna chod diya...  Wah Wah.. . . ... ...... ... Exam tha sar par aur bachon ne padhna chod diya... ..CID KA ACP tha toilet me.. Aur DAYA ne darwaza tod diya..:p :O :DOn Mon, Apr 29, 2013 at 10:01 AM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: Pappu & Ladki standing on the bus stop: Pappu to ladki: nice lipistic ladki : thanks Pappu : nice top & jeans ladki : thanks .Pappu : nice ear-ringladki : thanks.Pappu : nice neckless . Ladki : Aawwwwwwwwww thank u so much BHAIYA:)).Pappu: kamaal hai fir bhi bilkul chudel lag rahiho:DOn Sun, Apr 28, 2013 at 11:56 PM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: Boy:Wo kehti h  "uske jaisi kabhi koi nahi milegi mujhe" ..! :( uska nam fb pe likh k search kia to 1750 aur mil gayi.... :D On Sun, Apr 28, 2013 at 11:40 PM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: On Sun, Apr 28, 2013 at 9:19 PM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: On Sun, Apr 28, 2013 at 2:07 PM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: A husband's feelings ===> . "I was the reason for the last fight with my wife.. . . She asked, 'what's on television'?..I replied 'Dust'! xD On Sun, Apr 28, 2013 at 2:01 PM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: Killing English 1. Principal To Student..." I Saw U Yesterday Rotating Near Girls Hostel Pulling Cigarette... ? " 2. Class Teacher Once Said :" Pick Up The Paper And Fall In The Dustbin!!!" 3. Once Hindi Teacher Said...."I'm Going Out Of The World To America.."4. "..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK.."5. Don't..Laugh At The Back Benches...Other wise Teeth And All Will Be Fallen Down.....6. It Was Very Hot In The Afternoon When The Teacher Entered.. She Tried To SwitchThe Fan On, But There Was Some Problem.And Then She Said " Why Is Fan Not Oning" (Ing Form Of On) 7. Teacher In A Furious Mood... Write Down Ur Name And Father Of Ur Name!!8. "Shhh... Quiet... The Principal Is Revolving Around College"9. My Manager Started Like This "Hi, I Am Madhu, Married With Two Kids" 10. "Will U Hang That Calendar Or Else I'll HANG MYSELF"11. LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"12. Chemistry HOD Comes And Tells Us... "My Aim Is To Study My Son And Marry My Daughter"13. Tomorrow Call Ur Parents Especially Mother And Father14. "Why Are You Looking At The Monkeys Outside When I Am In The Class?!"15. Lab Assistant Said This When My Friend Wrote Wrong Code.. "I Understand. You Understand. Computer How Understand?? 16. Seeing The Principal Passing By, The Teacher Told The Noisy Class.. "KeepQuiet, The Principal Has Passed Away"17. Once Teacher Told "If U Talk So Loudly I Will Stand Uping U" 18. Teacher To Students:Don't Spit Outside, The Understand














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onDates.jpg

Sandeep Hans

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May 2, 2013, 7:30:56 AM5/2/13
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Galib v/s Gujju

Galib : Mohhobat ki rahon pe sirf dard milega, mohhobat ki rahon pe sirf dard milega. 

Gujju : un rahon pe wine shop kholo bahut chalega
onDates.jpg

Rahul Garg

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May 2, 2013, 10:13:10 AM5/2/13
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Every time a girlfriend says 'I love you', a credit card gets empty :)))))))))))))))))
onDates.jpg

Rahul Garg

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May 2, 2013, 10:19:48 AM5/2/13
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Santa jab bhi kapde dhota,
baarish ho jaati...
Ek din dhoop nikli.
.
Usne bhagwan ka shukrya kiya
aur dukaan sesurf lene gaya
Tabhi achanak zor zor se badal
garajney lagey...
Santa fatafat aasman ki taraf muh kar ke bola...
"kidhar..????? mai to biscuit lene aaya hu...:p :O :D
onDates.jpg

Sandeep Hans

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May 2, 2013, 10:24:22 AM5/2/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Girl:"Janu kal mera b’day hai,
.
.
Boy:"Darling Advance me happy b’day,
.
.
Girl:"kya gift doge..
.
.
Boy:"kya chaiye..
.
.
Girl:"RING...:)
.
.
.
.
Boy:"Ring dunga par uthana mat BALANCE nahi hai... :p :/ :O
onDates.jpg

Sandeep Hans

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May 2, 2013, 10:26:09 AM5/2/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com

onDates.jpg

Sandeep Hans

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May 2, 2013, 10:26:32 AM5/2/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Boy:"Agar Mai Tume Kiss Karke
Bhag Jau To Kya Sochogi ??
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Girl:"Mai Sochugi K 1 BEWKOOF
Jo Pura Paper Solve Kar Sakta
Tha wo OBJECTIVE Tick Karke Bhag
Gaya.
onDates.jpg

Jai Prakash

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May 2, 2013, 10:28:19 AM5/2/13
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Jai Prakash

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May 2, 2013, 10:30:51 AM5/2/13
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एक बार संता जी अमेरिका जाते हैं. बुश उनसे मिलते हैं और जमीन खोदने को कहते हैं.

संता जी जमीन खोदते हैं 100, 200,300 फीट.

बुश कहते हैं, " कुछ मिला ?"

संता, "हां एक तार मिला."

बुश, "यह प्रूफ है कि हमारे यहां 100 साल पहले भी वायर कम्युनिकेशन  था."

अब संता सिंह बुश को भारत बुलाते हैं और जमीन खोदने को कहते हैं.

बुश भी दम लगाकर 100 , 200, 400 फीट खोदते हैं और थक जाते हैं.

संता कहते हैं, "कुछ मिला."
बुश, "कुछ नहीं है. "
संता बोलते हैं, "देखा, यह इस बात का सबूत है कि यहां 400 साल से पहले से वायरलेस कम्युनिकेशन था. 
onDates.jpg

Jai Prakash

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May 2, 2013, 10:35:00 AM5/2/13
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onDates.jpg

Jai Prakash

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May 2, 2013, 10:38:18 AM5/2/13
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onDates.jpg

Sandeep Hans

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May 2, 2013, 10:50:48 AM5/2/13
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onDates.jpg

Gargi Dutta

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May 2, 2013, 10:56:33 AM5/2/13
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dhanyawaad ashish bhai :)





Hahaha good one.




















:D


Private School Ke Bache Zoo Mein: Oh! Wow Monkey Is Sleeping Dont Disturb . . . . ..Govt. Scool Ke Bache: Oye Dekh Tera Baap So Raha Hai Pathar Maar Saale Ko...... On Mon, Apr 29, 2013 at 11:35 PM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: A chinese was in hospital, Santa went to meet him . . . ..Chinese said :"CHING CHONG MOU CHU CHA and died :/......Santa went to china to know themeaningThe meaning was.......KUTTE K BACHE OXYGEN K PIPE SE APNA PAIRUTHA :P :D :-P (",) On Mon, Apr 29, 2013 at 11:35 PM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: Hi Santa, I am a lady aged 26, I left my husband with the maid and my baby at home, I drove for just about 2 km from home & my car engine started to overheat so I had to turn back to get another car, when I got home I found my husband in bed with our maid, I don't know what to do now please help me. Santa's REPLY:Over heating of the engine after such short distancecan be caused by problems associated with theradiator, you need to check the oil and water levelin your engine before you start your journey, you must also make sure your car is serviced regularly to avoid problems in future hopethis helps.On Mon, Apr 29, 2013 at 3:31 PM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: Teacher: What do we call people living in Turkey? Student: I don't know Sir. Teacher: They are called Turks. What about those in Spain and Germany? Student: That's easy sir, they are called Sperms and Germs respectively! =)) =D On Mon, Apr 29, 2013 at 3:30 PM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: Friend:" ye naya mobile kab liya.. ?? Pappu:" liya nahi girlfriend ka uthaya hai.. . . Friend:" kyo.. ??...Pappu:" wo pagal roz roz kahti thi tum mera phone nahi uthate... Bas,,, aaj uthane ka moka mil gaya...On Mon, Apr 29, 2013 at 3:29 PM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: 2 Best Friends Met After Many Years... 1st One Said "I Missed Ur Smile Alot..." . . .....But the Other Said "I Missed My Own Smile Without U..." On Mon, Apr 29, 2013 at 3:26 PM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: Creativity On Mon, Apr 29, 2013 at 2:51 PM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: nice article: WHEN THE GODDESS DEMANDS CROSS DRESSING http://devdutt.com/articles/when-the-goddess-demands-cross-dressing.html On Mon, Apr 29, 2013 at 2:22 PM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: Teacher:" maan lo thumhara dost, aur thumhari girl friend ek kashthi me savaar hai, . . . aur doobne lagte hai,batao tum kise bachaoge. ??. ..Pappu:" kisi ko nahi, marne do donon ko..Teacher:" kyu.. ??..Pappu:" saale dono ek saath kashti me kar kya rahe the.. ?? :p >:O :/ On Mon, Apr 29, 2013 at 11:48 AM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: Maths Teacher Was Teaching Mathematical Conversions Teacher-If 1000 Kgs= Ton. ThenFor 3000 Kgs=How Much?Pappu-Ton!Ton!Ton! On Mon, Apr 29, 2013 at 10:13 AM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: Engineering Dimag ;) Interviewer:" You are driving alone in your 2 seater car at night.. Its raining heavily & suddenlyyou see 3 people waiting for bus 1.An old sick lady who is aboutto die..2. Old friend who once saved urlife3. The perfect Partner u havedreamed about u can only pick one of them,Which One Would you pickup..?? Engineering student replied:" Iwould give the car keys to myold friend and ask him to take the lady tothe hospital & stay behind to wait for a buswith my Dream Mate...♥ :)) On Mon, Apr 29, 2013 at 10:09 AM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: GIRL- My janu, My baby, Mera Baccha, My sweetu, My golu.. kya tum mujhse shadi karoge? . Bol mela baby . ...... ...... . . ..BOY- Arre kamini, propose karrahi hai ya adopt kr On Mon, Apr 29, 2013 at 10:05 AM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: Exam tha sar par aur bacchon ne padhna chod diya...  Wah Wah.. . . ... ...... ... Exam tha sar par aur bachon ne padhna chod diya... ..CID KA ACP tha toilet me.. Aur DAYA ne darwaza tod diya..:p :O :DOn Mon, Apr 29, 2013 at 10:01 AM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: Pappu & Ladki standing on the bus stop: Pappu to ladki: nice lipistic ladki : thanks Pappu : nice top & jeans ladki : thanks .Pappu : nice ear-ringladki : thanks.Pappu : nice neckless . Ladki : Aawwwwwwwwww thank u so much BHAIYA:)).Pappu: kamaal hai fir bhi bilkul chudel lag rahiho:DOn Sun, Apr 28, 2013 at 11:56 PM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: Boy:Wo kehti h  "uske jaisi kabhi koi nahi milegi mujhe" ..! :( uska nam fb pe likh k search kia to 1750 aur mil gayi.... :D On Sun, Apr 28, 2013 at 11:40 PM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: On Sun, Apr 28, 2013 at 9:19 PM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: On Sun, Apr 28, 2013 at 2:07 PM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: A husband's feelings ===> . "I was the reason for the last fight with my wife.. . . She asked, 'what's on television'?..I replied 'Dust'! xD On Sun, Apr 28, 2013 at 2:01 PM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: Killing English 1. Principal To Student..." I Saw U Yesterday Rotating Near Girls Hostel Pulling Cigarette... ? " 2. Class Teacher Once Said :" Pick Up The Paper And Fall In The Dustbin!!!" 3. Once Hindi Teacher Said...."I'm Going Out Of The World To America.."4. "..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK.."5. Don't..Laugh At The Back Benches...Other wise Teeth And All Will Be Fallen Down.....6. It Was Very Hot In The Afternoon When The Teacher Entered.. She Tried To SwitchThe Fan On, But There Was Some Problem.And Then She Said " Why Is Fan Not Oning" (Ing Form Of On) 7. Teacher In A Furious Mood... Write Down Ur Name And Father Of Ur Name!!8. "Shhh... Quiet... The Principal Is Revolving Around College"9. My Manager Started Like This "Hi, I Am Madhu, Married With Two Kids" 10. "Will U Hang That Calendar Or Else I'll HANG MYSELF"11. LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"12. Chemistry HOD Comes And Tells Us... "My Aim Is To Study My Son And Marry My Daughter"13. Tomorrow Call Ur Parents Especially Mother And Father14. "Why Are You Looking At The Monkeys Outside When I Am In The Class?!"15. Lab Assistant Said This When My Friend Wrote Wrong Code.. "I Understand. You Understand. Computer How Understand?? 16. Seeing The Principal Passing By, The Teacher Told The Noisy Class.. "KeepQuiet, The Principal Has Passed Away"17. Once Teacher Told "If U Talk So Loudly I Will Stand Uping U" 18. Teacher To Students:Don't Spit Outside, The Understand -- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "Zoke" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to zokelelo+u...@googlegroups.com. To post to this group, send email to zoke...@googlegroups.com. Visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/zokelelo?hl=en. For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/groups/opt_out.    




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onDates.jpg

Sandeep Hans

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May 2, 2013, 2:52:26 PM5/2/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Rajnikant ka 1 Rupiya Balcony se gir gaya...
.
Rajnikant niche pahuncha to Rupiya nahi mila...! Kyo?
.
.
.
.
.
.
Kyuki Rajnikant 1 Rupiye se pehle niche pahunch gaya... :P :D :o
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Pratik Vyas

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May 2, 2013, 3:34:25 PM5/2/13
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Inspired by Idea ad, Dhoni
exchanged
his phone with Sir Jadeja
and got the
first call from a certain
guy called Suraj
and as he pressed the
green button The caller
says "Are Sir ye to bata
dete
kal kitne baje ugna hai"
Pratik 
onDates.jpg

Sandeep Hans

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May 2, 2013, 5:15:44 PM5/2/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Teeth are so important.


onDates.jpg

Sandeep Hans

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May 2, 2013, 5:26:10 PM5/2/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Knock knock. Who's there? Daya darwaza tod do.
onDates.jpg

Sandeep Hans

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May 2, 2013, 5:48:02 PM5/2/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
He: I am good with kids, Please marry me. She: Bablu, Gopi, Bunty beta aajao, papa mil gaye hain.


...

[Message clipped]  

onDates.jpg

Sandeep Hans

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May 2, 2013, 5:48:21 PM5/2/13
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class zoke. jisko samajh main aaye taali bajao.

पत्नी: सुनो, घर में चीनी नहीं है। पति: 18 km अन्दर आ गए है, फिकर मत करो कुछ दिनों में रसोई तक भी आ जायेंगे।
onDates.jpg

Sandeep Hans

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May 2, 2013, 5:57:44 PM5/2/13
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onDates.jpg

Sandeep Hans

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May 2, 2013, 5:58:49 PM5/2/13
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onDates.jpg

Sandeep Hans

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May 3, 2013, 2:58:04 AM5/3/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Maine ek din wall me Non Veg
Joke
post kiya..
.
.
ek ladki ne comment kiya:"samajh
me
nahi aaya joke..
.
ek Ladke ne us ladki k comment
ka
reply kiya..
.
,
Ladka:"samajh me nhi aya
to"POGO"
dekh..:p
.
.
after 3 days, ladki ka fir comment
aaya
.
.
.
Ladki:"yaar 3 din se POGO dekh
rahi
hu, par joke abi tak samajh me
nahi
aaya..:p :O :D :D
onDates.jpg

Sandeep Hans

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May 3, 2013, 3:00:12 AM5/3/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Girl riding on a cycle hit the pappu..
.
.
Pappu:" Andhi hai kya ?? :/
.
.
Girl:" tu Behra hai kya, Ghanti jo mari ??
.
.
Pappu:" kamini Ghanti hi marni thi to nikal kar marti,

puri cycle marne ki kya zarurat thi... ?? :p :O :/
onDates.jpg

Sandeep Hans

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May 3, 2013, 3:01:01 AM5/3/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Me (politely):" Hi..
.
.
Girl (showing atitude):" Do I know you.. ??

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Me (in cool tone):" nai re pagli.. teri itni aukaat kaha..:p ;-)) :D
onDates.jpg

Sandeep Hans

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May 3, 2013, 3:12:02 AM5/3/13
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onDates.jpg

Sandeep Hans

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May 3, 2013, 3:18:07 AM5/3/13
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sozial zoke.

onDates.jpg

Sandeep Hans

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May 3, 2013, 3:36:02 AM5/3/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Santa: Yaar,
Main Koi Bhi Kaam Karta Hu To Meri
Biwi bich mai Aa Jati Hai :/
.
.
.
.
.
Banta: Yaar,
Tu Truck Chalaa Kar Dekh,
Shaayad kismat Saath De De
teri ...! :P
onDates.jpg

Sandeep Hans

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May 3, 2013, 7:49:13 PM5/3/13
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onDates.jpg

Sandeep Hans

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May 3, 2013, 7:50:17 PM5/3/13
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onDates.jpg

Sandeep Hans

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May 3, 2013, 7:53:25 PM5/3/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
A teacher asked a student:

Why don't you study the whole semester & study only during exams?
.
.
.
.
student replied:

bcoz

Lehroon ka sukoon Sabhi ko pasand haiّ lekin..
Tufanon mein Kashti nikalne ka maza hi kuch aur hai. :p :p
onDates.jpg

Sandeep Hans

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May 3, 2013, 7:57:53 PM5/3/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Doctor: Aap ka weight kitna hai??

Santa: Chashme ke saath 75kgs.. :D

Doctor: Aur chashme ke bina?? /:)

Santa: Wo mujhe dikhta hi nahi.. =))=))
onDates.jpg

Sandeep Hans

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May 3, 2013, 7:58:26 PM5/3/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Toughest paper.

onDates.jpg

Sandeep Hans

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May 4, 2013, 3:51:41 AM5/4/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Bhayankar insult...:p
.
.
Boyfriend:"Would You Like To See
Magic.. ??
.
.
.
Girlfriend:"Ofcourse Jaanu..!!

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Boyfriend:"WHOOSHH"
You Are Single Now..!!
..
Chal Bye, Phut Le Ab... :p :O:D
onDates.jpg

Sandeep Hans

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May 4, 2013, 3:52:11 AM5/4/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Bengali:" our language is
sweetest..
.
Santa:" how ??

Bengali:" we call everyone with.. "Da,..
Like mithun da, bappi da, pranab da.. !!
.
.
.
Santa:" oh ho saddi language vi
same to same hai ji...Like
oye
khoti da,
bhootni da,
teri behen da..
teri maa da...:p :O
onDates.jpg

Sandeep Hans

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May 4, 2013, 3:53:06 AM5/4/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Waiter: 10 ruppees ki tip meri liye insult hai>_<
Engineer : toh phir..?? O.o
Waiter: 20 Rs toh do ! :O
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
Engineer : Nahi yaar mein tumhari double insult nahi kar sakta :D :P
onDates.jpg

Sandeep Hans

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May 4, 2013, 3:57:48 AM5/4/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Ek Diwaar Par Likha Tha: Yahaan
Kutte Susu Karte Hain
pappu Ko Badi Zor Se Susu Aaya Tha,

. 

Usne Idhar Udhar Dekha Ki Koi Bhi
Nahi Dekh Raha.
To Waha Susu Kar Diya. Fir Muskura
Kar Bola:Ise Kehte Hai
Dimaag, 

Susu Maine Kiya Naam Kutte
Ka Aayega..
onDates.jpg

Sandeep Hans

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May 4, 2013, 4:00:39 AM5/4/13
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onDates.jpg

Sandeep Hans

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May 4, 2013, 11:16:03 AM5/4/13
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onDates.jpg

Sandeep Hans

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May 4, 2013, 11:23:04 AM5/4/13
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onDates.jpg

Sandeep Hans

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May 4, 2013, 11:34:54 AM5/4/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Dil kahta hai ki tu pass hai
.
.
.
Dil kahta hai ki tu pass hai
.
.
.
.waah-waah...

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
lekin Notice board par likha hai ki tu fail hai :(
onDates.jpg

Gargi Dutta

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May 4, 2013, 12:51:30 PM5/4/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
good one(SHASTRIism)!! :P








Toughest paper.









sozial zoke.



























dhanyawaad ashish bhai :)





Hahaha good one.














On Wed, May 1, 2013 at 1:31 PM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: Jaggu: Main Tumhare Liye Sab Kuch Chod Dunga… GF: Sab Kuch…??? Jaggu: Haan Sab Kuch… GF: Chalo Apna Facebook Ka Password Batao…Jaggu: Didi Aap Ghar Jao, Ghar Wale Wait Kar Rahe Honge… On Wed, May 1, 2013 at 11:59 AM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: On Wed, May 1, 2013 at 10:29 AM, Rahul Garg <rahulga...@gmail.com> wrote: @" Munni badnaam hui, Darling tere liye" ise padhkar hraday pratakal me hi aanand se paripoorn ho gaya :-) On Wed, May 1, 2013 at 10:28 AM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: Ek Shadi Mein Achanak Kahin se EkJINN Aa Gaya.. Jinn ko Dekhte Hi:"Larkiyon ki Cheekhein Nikal Gayi, . . Wahan par Ek BABA Jee bhi the, Unhon ne Larkiyon ko Kaha ke:"Sari Larkiyan Muh Dho Len... ...Jab Woh Sab Muh Dho Kar Aayi to:".."Face dekh kar JINN ki Cheekheyn Nikal Gayi..":p:O :D :D On Wed, May 1, 2013 at 10:24 AM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: Hindi Teacher:" Prasang Sahit Nimlikhit Pankti ka varnan Kijiye:" Munni badnaam hui, Darling tere liye" . . . .Student:" Ye Pankti bollywoodke prasidh Kavi Shri Salman Khan ke chalchitra ''Dabang'' ke"Munni Badnaam namak kavita se li gyi hai..Is kavita mein Kavi mayaviSundri Malaika arora ko sambodhit karte huye pyar mein badnaam hone kiprerna dete hai.. ...Kavi ne is kavita ke madhyam se munni ki tulnajhandu baam athva atom bomb se ki hai..is kavita se hume kavi ki gehri soch aur tulnatmaksmriti ka ehsaas hota hai...:p :O :D On Wed, May 1, 2013 at 10:22 AM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: Engineer boy to riksha wala : Bhaiya khali ho?? Riksha wala : haan blkul khaali.. ... .. ......  .  .Engineer: fir assignmentscomplete karke de na,bhagwantera bhala karega :) :D :D On Wed, May 1, 2013 at 10:21 AM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: [disclaimer: thoda sa non-veg zoke]Seth ne pappu ko dukaan pe rakha.. Sales 4 Guna ho gayi.. . . Seth ek din pappu se milne shop pe aaya to wo Grahak ko Fishing Rod bech raha tha.. ..Seth khada ho k dekhne laga..grahak ne 800 me fishing rod kharid li..Pappu bola:" Itne mehnge joote pehan ke fishingkaroge.. ??..Sports shoe le lo.. Usne 600 ke shoes le liye....Pappu bola:" Dhoop lagegi, ek Cap bhi lo, usne le li.. ..Pappu bola.. Fishing karte waqt bhookh lagegi tokuch khane ko le lo Usne chips, biscuit le liye..Wo bola fish rakhne ke lie ek basket le lo.. usne le li..Is tarah uska bill 8000 bana.. Seth bahut khush hua bola:" Tum acche sales manho, Wo keval fishng rod lene aaya tha aur Tumne itna saman bech diya..:))...Pappu:" Sethji wo to Biwi ke liye WHISPER lene aaya tha, Maine bola:" 5 din kya karega, Ja jake machalipakad.. :p :O :DOn Wed, May 1, 2013 at 10:19 AM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: Boy:"Tumhari aankhe kitni haseen hai... . . Girl:"chhoro na.. . Boy:"Tumhare baal kitne khubsurat hai...Girl:"chhoro na.. .Boy:"Tumhare gaal kitne gulabi hai...Girl:"Ab chhoro bhi........Boy:"Arrrrey... kamini aur kitna choru..Itne der selambi lambi chhor hi to raha hu tere kehne pe...:p :O :D On Tue, Apr 30, 2013 at 6:05 PM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: Gattu ek lecture attend karta hai. lecture ke baad use bhookh lagti hai. so he goes to the canteen. canteen mein gattu ek pav leta hai. jaise hi woh pav khane ke liye uthata hai to dekhta hai ki uski plate mein "jannat" likha hai. To janaab ab aapko yeh batana hai ki gattu jiska lecture attend karke aa raha hai! , us proffessor ka naam kya hai???  guess The answer is Ishq Ki Chhaon. Jinke "Sir" ho "Ishq ki Chhaon" "Pav" ke neeche "Jannat" hogi...:p :D On Tue, Apr 30, 2013 at 2:25 PM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: On Tue, Apr 30, 2013 at 1:55 PM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: A person goes to the doctor with his 3 year old son. Person: - Doctor, my son has swallowed a key. Doctor:- When did he swallowed a key? Person:- 20 days back.Doctor:- And you are coming to me now, after 20 days. Person:- We had a duplicate key, but we lost it today. :DOn Tue, Apr 30, 2013 at 1:55 PM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: GIRLS....... :D . Petrol Badha Hum Chup The Diesel Badha Fir Bhi Chup TheLPG Badhafir b Kuch Nhi Bole . . .... ...... .But abGolgappe 5 ke sirf 3!!!!Ab chup Nhi Rahenge ... :p :O On Tue, Apr 30, 2013 at 1:54 PM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: Two Commerce Students talking.. X:" oh sorry yaar heard about your breakup... :( . . Y:" yup..X:" You must be sad na.... .Y:" No yaar We are commerce students!I have kept 1 gf as reserve for doubtful debts..:p :O :D On Tue, Apr 30, 2013 at 1:54 PM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: Awesome Answers : . . ... 1- Principal: Are You Chewing Gum? Student: No, I'm Human Being..!! .2- Wife: We Are Having Mother For DinnerTonight.Husband: But Darling, I'm Vegetarian..!! How Can I Eat Her??.3- Will These Stairs Take Me To The 2nd Floor?No, You'll Have To Walk As Well..!!.4- Girl: I Have Changed My Mind..!!Boy: Thank God, But Does The New OneWorks? :D On Tue, Apr 30, 2013 at 1:03 PM, Gargi Dutta <dutta...@gmail.com> wrote: On Tue, Apr 30, 2013 at 2:23 PM, Ashwini Ratnoo <ratno...@gmail.com> wrote: :D On Tue, Apr 30, 2013 at 1:34 PM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: Private School Ke Bache Zoo Mein: Oh! Wow Monkey Is Sleeping Dont Disturb . . . . ..Govt. Scool Ke Bache: Oye Dekh Tera Baap So Raha Hai Pathar Maar Saale Ko...... On Mon, Apr 29, 2013 at 11:35 PM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: A chinese was in hospital, Santa went to meet him . . . ..Chinese said :"CHING CHONG MOU CHU CHA and died :/......Santa went to china to know themeaningThe meaning was.......KUTTE K BACHE OXYGEN K PIPE SE APNA PAIRUTHA :P :D :-P (",) On Mon, Apr 29, 2013 at 11:35 PM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: Hi Santa, I am a lady aged 26, I left my husband with the maid and my baby at home, I drove for just about 2 km from home & my car engine started to overheat so I had to turn back to get another car, when I got home I found my husband in bed with our maid, I don't know what to do now please help me. Santa's REPLY:Over heating of the engine after such short distancecan be caused by problems associated with theradiator, you need to check the oil and water levelin your engine before you start your journey, you must also make sure your car is serviced regularly to avoid problems in future hopethis helps.On Mon, Apr 29, 2013 at 3:31 PM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: Teacher: What do we call people living in Turkey? Student: I don't know Sir. Teacher: They are called Turks. What about those in Spain and Germany? Student: That's easy sir, they are called Sperms and Germs respectively! =)) =D On Mon, Apr 29, 2013 at 3:30 PM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: Friend:" ye naya mobile kab liya.. ?? Pappu:" liya nahi girlfriend ka uthaya hai.. . . Friend:" kyo.. ??...Pappu:" wo pagal roz roz kahti thi tum mera phone nahi uthate... Bas,,, aaj uthane ka moka mil gaya...On Mon, Apr 29, 2013 at 3:29 PM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: 2 Best Friends Met After Many Years... 1st One Said "I Missed Ur Smile Alot..." . . .....But the Other Said "I Missed My Own Smile Without U..." On Mon, Apr 29, 2013 at 3:26 PM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: Creativity On Mon, Apr 29, 2013 at 2:51 PM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: nice article: WHEN THE GODDESS DEMANDS CROSS DRESSING http://devdutt.com/articles/when-the-goddess-demands-cross-dressing.html On Mon, Apr 29, 2013 at 2:22 PM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: Teacher:" maan lo thumhara dost, aur thumhari girl friend ek kashthi me savaar hai, . . . aur doobne lagte hai,batao tum kise bachaoge. ??. ..Pappu:" kisi ko nahi, marne do donon ko..Teacher:" kyu.. ??..Pappu:" saale dono ek saath kashti me kar kya rahe the.. ?? :p >:O :/ On Mon, Apr 29, 2013 at 11:48 AM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: Maths Teacher Was Teaching Mathematical Conversions Teacher-If 1000 Kgs= Ton. ThenFor 3000 Kgs=How Much?Pappu-Ton!Ton!Ton! On Mon, Apr 29, 2013 at 10:13 AM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: Engineering Dimag ;) Interviewer:" You are driving alone in your 2 seater car at night.. Its raining heavily & suddenlyyou see 3 people waiting for bus 1.An old sick lady who is aboutto die..2. Old friend who once saved urlife3. The perfect Partner u havedreamed about u can only pick one of them,Which One Would you pickup..?? Engineering student replied:" Iwould give the car keys to myold friend and ask him to take the lady tothe hospital & stay behind to wait for a buswith my Dream Mate...♥ :)) On Mon, Apr 29, 2013 at 10:09 AM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: GIRL- My janu, My baby, Mera Baccha, My sweetu, My golu.. kya tum mujhse shadi karoge? . Bol mela baby . ...... ...... . . ..BOY- Arre kamini, propose karrahi hai ya adopt kr On Mon, Apr 29, 2013 at 10:05 AM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: Exam tha sar par aur bacchon ne padhna chod diya...  Wah Wah.. . . ... ...... ... Exam tha sar par aur bachon ne padhna chod diya... ..CID KA ACP tha toilet me.. Aur DAYA ne darwaza tod diya..:p :O :DOn Mon, Apr 29, 2013 at 10:01 AM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: Pappu & Ladki standing on the bus stop: Pappu to ladki: nice lipistic ladki : thanks Pappu : nice top & jeans ladki : thanks .Pappu : nice ear-ringladki : thanks.Pappu : nice neckless . Ladki : Aawwwwwwwwww thank u so much BHAIYA:)).Pappu: kamaal hai fir bhi bilkul chudel lag rahiho:DOn Sun, Apr 28, 2013 at 11:56 PM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: Boy:Wo kehti h  "uske jaisi kabhi koi nahi milegi mujhe" ..! :( uska nam fb pe likh k search kia to 1750 aur mil gayi.... :D On Sun, Apr 28, 2013 at 11:40 PM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: On Sun, Apr 28, 2013 at 9:19 PM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: On Sun, Apr 28, 2013 at 2:07 PM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: A husband's feelings ===> . "I was the reason for the last fight with my wife.. . . She asked, 'what's on television'?..I replied 'Dust'! xD On Sun, Apr 28, 2013 at 2:01 PM, Sandeep Hans <sandee...@gmail.com> wrote: Killing English 1. Principal To Student..." I Saw U Yesterday Rotating Near Girls Hostel Pulling Cigarette... ? " 2. Class Teacher Once Said :" Pick Up The Paper And Fall In The Dustbin!!!" 3. Once Hindi Teacher Said...."I'm Going Out Of The World To America.."4. "..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK.."5. Don't..Laugh At The Back Benches...Other wise Teeth And All Will Be Fallen Down.....6. It Was Very Hot In The Afternoon When The Teacher Entered.. She Tried To SwitchThe Fan On, But There Was Some Problem.And Then She Said " Why Is Fan Not Oning" (Ing Form Of On) 7. Teacher In A Furious Mood... Write Down Ur Name And Father Of Ur Name!!8. "Shhh... Quiet... The Principal Is Revolving Around College"9. My Manager Started Like This "Hi, I Am Madhu, Married With Two Kids" 10. "Will U Hang That Calendar Or Else I'll HANG MYSELF"11. LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"12. Chemistry HOD Comes And Tells Us... "My Aim Is To Study My Son And Marry My Daughter"13. Tomorrow Call Ur Parents Especially Mother And Father14. "Why Are You Looking At The Monkeys Outside When I Am In The Class?!"15. Lab Assistant Said This When My Friend Wrote Wrong Code.. "I Understand. You Understand. Computer How Understand?? 16. Seeing The Principal Passing By, The Teacher Told The Noisy Class.. "KeepQuiet, The Principal Has Passed Away"17. Once Teacher Told "If U Talk So Loudly I Will Stand Uping U" 18. Teacher To Students:Don't Spit Outside, The Understand -- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "Zoke" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to zokelelo+u...@googlegroups.com. To post to this group, send email to zoke...@googlegroups.com. Visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/zokelelo?hl=en. For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/groups/opt_out.     -- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "Zoke" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to zokelelo+u...@googlegroups.com. To post to this group, send email to zoke...@googlegroups.com. Visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/zokelelo?hl=en. For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/groups/opt_out.     -- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "Zoke" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to zokelelo+u...@googlegroups.com. To post to this group, send email to zoke...@googlegroups.com. Visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/zokelelo?hl=en. For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/groups/opt_out.     -- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "Zoke" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to zokelelo+u...@googlegroups.com. To post to this group, send email to zoke...@googlegroups.com. Visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/zokelelo?hl=en. For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/groups/opt_out.    
-- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "Zoke" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to zokelelo+u...@googlegroups.com. To post to this group, send email to zoke...@googlegroups.com. Visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/zokelelo?hl=en. For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/groups/opt_out.    



--
Tauseef Hussain
Bhubaneswar,India
(http://issuu.com/radiumtau/docs/tauseefhussain_cv)









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Sandeep Hans

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May 5, 2013, 5:23:44 AM5/5/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
अपने बच्चे रोये तो दिल में दर्द होता है,दुसरे के रोये तो सिर में अपनी बीवी रोये तो सिर में दर्द होता है,दुसरे की बीवी रोये तो दिल में
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Sandeep Hans

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May 5, 2013, 5:27:23 AM5/5/13
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Aaj Gita ka path khatm hua, kal Test lunga ~ Krishna to Arjun
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Sandeep Hans

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May 5, 2013, 5:41:27 AM5/5/13
to zoke...@googlegroups.com
Eklavya- Hi 4 Hrithik- Hi 6
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Sandeep Hans

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May 6, 2013, 3:30:51 AM5/6/13
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What wil Mugambo say when he wil fall frm Cliff.??? "Mugambo Push Hua"


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