ANOTHER NIGHT AT SID'S Part 6
A SIMON CREATION
Devanti had vanished after taking me to yet another of Sid's endless supply of
superconsoles. I watched him for a while. It was interesting. He had several
tiny color screens, actually miniature TVs that he'd wired into his computers.
There were various readouts and fluctuating graphs going, a variety of colors
and actions from each. He obviously had voice software, because he wore a
headset and microphone and was constantly murmuring into it, and typing
entirely different information into a keyboard at the same time.
I understood part of what was going on, although I wasn't familiar with the
language he was programming in. I let him blaze away until he reached a point
where he was watching his monitors, and asked, "So, what are you up to?"
"I've got stealth cyberbots tracking down every bit of information I can find.
I want to know who, how, and what's next."
"Yeah. I think I'll patrol a little."
"I'd rather you didn't."
"Why not?"
"The robots can do that. I can't be sure we don't have an agent in our group
somewhere, and I need you to guard me."
"Sid, those robots are faster than me on reaction time, and have far superior
firepower."
"No one but you and the NOVLs have any sort of weapons."
"Sid, you gave me four undetectable weapons."
"The robots can find those plasticarbon knives."
"Oh."
"Have you still got that remote I gave you?"
"Yeah. Why?"
He slid out a tiny panel on his console and said, "Put it in there." I did. I
didn't know how to use the thing anyway. Once he closed the panel, I looked
closely at it. I couldn't see a seam.
"Laser carved," explained Sid.
I pumped him with questions about his system, the computers, the fact he seemed
to have access to unlimited amounts of power. We got into a discussion about
fiber optics, superconductors, the various aspects of semiconductors. He told
me about a breakthrough he'd made on BUS links that the rest of the world
hadn't caught onto yet, and how it gave him enormously more computing power and
speed without having to attempt to create the next generation of
microprocessors. The tradeoff was having to keep his computers cooled with
liquid nitrogen. Normal humans would have been yawning and cross-eyed after the
first ten minutes, but as an under trained techno-geek, I was fascinated.
He activated the steel door behind us from the console. I went in, and he
pointed at a second steel door. It opened. Now I knew where Devanti got that
technique. He pointed to another door off to the side. It didn't open.
"Devanti sleeps there. There are laser sensors protecting her doorway, and when
I close this, if you'll pull that couch in front of it, you can sleep on it.
There will be a laser curtain in front of you, so if you need to use the
bathroom, just come into my room. It's on the right."
"So how will the lasers protect me?"
"Technically, they won't. But if you get attacked or shot, I'll know
instantly."
"Comforting, that," I said dryly.
Normally, I'd have seen a wicked Sid smile. He must have been really tired,
because all he said was, "Hopefully you'll get plenty of warning if someone's
after us. Goodnight," and closed his door.
I dragged the couch over, discovered I was pretty tired too, and was quickly
dreaming. The dream was about giant black ravens and black shadows that seemed
to almost have substance, but I couldn't catch one.
I woke up to the heavenly smell of breakfast, and the lady NOVLs sitting around
me on chairs.
"Snores," observed Blondy.
"Loudly," added Minx.
"Probably drools, too," said Blonde.
"And farts," added Tunes.
"And a lovely f****** morning to you all," I greeted them, sat up, plopped my
breakfast bench across my lap, and proceeded to eat.
Nurse Julie wandered in, proceeded to sprinkle something all over my eggs. It
had a green tint.
"What are you DOING?", I demanded.
"Relax. It's just wheat germ and a few other things to keep you from dying of a
coronary before we make it home."
I thought about hiking up on one cheek and gassing the group, but old
conditioning dies hard. My Mother would have been proud. I didn't do it.
It seemed that annoying me was mostly a break from questioning Sid, so they
could relay information back to the others. No one actually said I was missed
at the revelries, but I got the impression that a couple wanted me to be there.
They left before I finished eating.
I went out to Sid, who was doing what Sid was always doing. As I started to
round the corner and go check the hall, I heard what sounded like a shoe
scraping. I slipped back to Sid, gave him some frantic hand signals. I pulled
the little .25 pistol from my kilt as he retreated to his room. As the door
closed, I saw a man in a black SWAT outfit grab him. I stood on a chair.
Another SWAT-clad man jumped into view, a gorgeous Heckler and Koch MP-5
assault rifle at the ready.
"Halt" he said in accented English. I was already in the air, so halting was
out of the question.
Adrenaline and age are not always the best mix. I got his arm with a very nice
kick, and he lost the rifle. Unfortunately, I felt a tendon pull from the back
of my knee to my butt, and I landed awkwardly, with my back to the guy.
He was about to jump me, so I shot him. Unfortunately, I saw a red furrow form
along his temple, then the leather sap he was swinging made a whuh-THOP sound,
the "whuh" part being its travel through the air, the "THOP" the sound I heard
inside my head before the red and white flashing lights showed up behind my
eyes, the sick feeling hit my stomach, and my head made a softer "thop" onto
the floor.
I felt myself being tied up with tie-wraps, and I couldn't quite bring up the
energy to resist. He was swearing at me in French.
The door opened, and Sid was plopped down beside me. I saw some swelling around
his left eye, but he looked all right other than that.
My captor decided to kick me in the ribs. I decided I owed him for that.
He picked up my little pistol, looked it over, shrugged, and put it in a
pocket. From another pocket he produced a huge bandage, which he unpeeled and
stuck over the still-bleeding crease in his head. The guy who caught Sid
started chewing him out, pointing at my ribs and saying things in a harsh
voice. He snapped to attention till noisy finished. I appreciated the sense of
fair play, but at the moment I had a real problem with bright lights and loud
noises. My head hurt a lot. I saw gray chevrons on Sid's guy, so I assumed this
was a sergeant chewing out a grunt. They saluted, then each grabbed an arm and
dragged us out into the common area. I noticed every other male in our group
seemed to be in the same state as us; tied up.
As my man turned away, out of nowhere little NewLAC appeared behind him,
running. She had a belt in her hand, went flying into the air, and wrapped it
around his neck. He had no time to react. He dropped forward, and she hung on
for dear life. His back arched, he flopped around, and finally relaxed. The
sergeant went forward to assist, but a large, wet, smelly mop-head came
wrapping around his face, and there was Terry, yanking on the mop so that he
spun around, then smacking him again. He reached for his gun, which had been
slung over his back, and she smacked him in the groin. Helen glided in from
behind me, and hit him behind the ear with an elbow. He dropped to the floor
and was still.
The room was suddenly filling with black uniforms, but they didn't seem to be
hostile. Minx appeared from the kitchen, only partly visible from behind the
tall man ahead of her. Her hands, and the paring knives at his neck, were more
obvious.
"All I have to do is push, Dear man," she said, "and you'll never stand, never
sit again. You'll lie on the ground and flop like a fish. Don't make me do
that. You greatly resemble a young Cary Grant. It would be a waste."
Kristine followed, twin cleavers at another man's throat. She was smiling.
Another man came from Sid's office area, and Sunrise dropped him with an elbow
to the jaw. I was beginning to believe her story of being a military MP at one
time. She was showing FAR too many combat skills for a housewife.
All the SWAT guys seemed to have a generous supply of tie-wraps, so the ladies
proceeded to restrain everyone. Heidi and another woman took some knives from
the pile of weapons quickly growing on the floor, and began cutting the good
guys loose.
NewLAC was crying. I went over to her.
"What's the matter?"
"I KILLED him," she sobbed, "and he's BEAUTIFUL."
I eased down to my knees, feeling the pulled hamstring and trying not to
scream. I felt his throat. Nice, even pulse. I looked at him. He resembled a
movie star, I wasn't sure which one. Maybe that ham Clooney. Big square jaw.
Now he'd have a cool scar, too. Probably make him prettier.
"He's not dead," I announced, and smacked him in the groin with my knuckles.
His eyes flew open, he groaned and pulled his knees toward his stomach.
"Was that necessary?," snarled Lisa, and I was a little startled by the anger
showing in her eyes.
"I owed him," I answered, and worked my way to my feet.
Dragging my leg along, it seemed like each step was punctuated by a matching
pain in my head.
"Looky what I caught," came a familiar voice.
I could see red curls bouncing seemingly from the underarms of a very tall,
broad-shouldered older man. He had salt-and-pepper hair, and an enormous
syringe was jammed into his neck, a tiny hand holding it. He had his hands
clasped behind his head, and was walking very carefully.
Nurse Julie hadn't even bothered to remove his weapons. She was chattering away
at him in French, and he was answering slowly and carefully, with a gentle
baritone voice.
Helen went over, disarmed him, patted him down, then tied his hands. I wasn't
thrilled that they'd be tied in front, but with Julie behind him clasping her
syringe, she had to do it that way. She pulled the needle from his neck, wiped
the area with an alcohol swab, and sat him down.
"He's a COLONEL," she said proudly, "and I caught him."
Now, John Wayne would have taken that head shot that I got, beat everyone in
sight up, and knocked back a couple of whiskies. Apparently, I wasn't John
Wayne. My knees buckled. The room was spinning.
Nurse Julie was quickly at my side, pulling my head back, producing a tiny
flashlight and checking my pupils. Someone was behind me, knees keeping me
upright, gentle hands holding my shoulders. I don't know who it was.
"I'm going to the clinic," she announced, "and get our Scotsman some aspirin.
That," she added, pointing at the guy she caught, "is mine. Nobody touches
him."
As she went out of sight, yet another of those obnoxious SWAT guys showed up.
He proceeded to fire off a shot, which went ricocheting up the walls of the
building.
"You will all...." he began, and a tiny foot smacked solidly into his groin. As
his knees bent, the foot withdrew, then kicked him in the butt. He fell
forward, and caught one last kick to the head.
"Hijo de puta," snarled Devanti. Her once-carefully wrapped hair was flying
wildly, and she was standing in a wide karate stance, fists clenched.
"Very few Hindu women speak Spanish," observed Dregs, "especially deaf-mute
ones."
"Hoo-rah" added Roger and he and NOVL Swan went over to disarm and bind our
newest visitor.
Julie reappeared with an actual Goody Powder, the Warped medication of choice,
and a tumbler of cold water. She let me medicate before she prodded the lump on
my head. I didn't scream. I wanted to.
"Fortunately," she pronounced, "you were struck on the most solid part of your
entire body. You'll be fine. No rapid movements, no mad dancing, a night of bed
rest. I have spoken."
"Sid," asked Anita, "where are your robots?"
He headed for his office, and Roger picked up an MP-5 and followed him.
Floyd was gathering the rest of the weapons, then he, too headed for Sid's
office, although he handed out a few on request.
I wagged a finger at him, and he stopped.
"Got any .45's?"
"Here's a full-auto Glock, two extra magazines. The Colonel had it."
"Gimme."
The holster worked perfectly on my leg-straps. I was beyond caring about the
snickers about my stupid-looking underwear. I found pockets for the magazines,
and settled back.
I jumped as someone peeled back an eyelid, but it was Julie.
"Relax" she said, "I have to make sure you're unconcussed."
I felt better, so I sat up.
Sid was approaching, robots following behind. He had rigged a tiny wireless
microphone so he could talk over the intercom any time he needed.
"Seems our attackers knew about the robots," he explained," and they lured them
into a storage room and welded it shut. Their lasers couldn't get them out."
The robots went among the captives, occasionally running out an arm to remove
some hidden weapon. Twice they burned parts of the SWAT uniforms with lasers. I
assumed they were destroying tracking or communication devices.
When they got to the Colonel, one ran a clamp around his neck, the other cut a
small slice into his neck and removed something. They sealed the cut back with
a laser. I hoped the ventilation system would get rid of the smell quickly. Sid
had a small box, and the robot dropped it in. I'd ask later.
A robot led, followed by Sid, then Roger, and they headed for the office.
"We need to question these guys," I said.
Terry was standing over hers, hand on his shoulder.
"I caught him, he's mine," she said, then ruffled his hair and said,
"parlez-vous put out?", and giggled.
"I'm sure we can get anything out of them that you want," added NOVL Minx, who
was sitting beside her prisoner.
"Ladies, these guys ATTACKED us," I said, "They're an efficient, trained
fighting force. They're dangerous."
"And you, Sensei Miyagi," said Nurse Julie, "Just how many did you capture
single-handedly?"
NOVL Dregs snickered first, and I whirled to give him a dirty look. I shouldn't
have. A fresh throb of pain went through my head, and I winced.
I resolved to ask him what color Nurse Julie's eyes were, since his gaze didn't
seem to be reaching that high, but at the moment, and as the laughter spread
around the room, I had to smile too. The full irony of our situation hit me.
"Come to think of it," I said, "you women caught them ALL. Us guys got our
collective butts kicked."
"We DID," said the artist formerly known as Devanti.
"We ROCK," added NewLAC.
"We RULE", crowed Kristine. I made a note to ask Sid why she'd been allowed
along, being pregnant, but what the heck? She'd caught one, too.
I signaled Devanti, who smiled shyly and bounded over. She was young, and just
exploding with energy.
"Nice disguise" I said.
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah. My head hurts. Julie says I'll be fine."
I smiled at her. "Not that I didn't like Devanti, but what's with the
surprise?"
"Sid offered me a summer job. It's partly an internship, I take care of his
pets and aquariums. I'm minoring in Spycraft 101. That's what Sid calls it."
"Well, you saved our bacon tonight."
"They didn't take the women seriously, especially me. That was wrong."
"Yeah."
"How come they hurt you?"
"I shot one in the head. Made him mad."
"You broke his forearm, too," said Julie, who was tending him with NewLAC's
help.
"Good. I'd like to think I accomplished something other than getting my skull
reshaped."
"Kristine," I said, "Cleavers? Alone?"
"Well," she smiled,"I was running, and Heidi and Anita tripped him with
broomsticks, so it was a team thing. Isn't he CUTE?"
I looked around. ALL these guys, to my extremely limited taste, were indeed
handsome. Some resembled famous people, all were in excellent condition. I
still wasn't impressed.
"We HAVE to know who sent them, we need to know how much they know, what their
plan was, if they have backup, how they got in..."
Minx stood up. "Since I seem to own the kitchen anyway," she said, "I think
we'll talk to them in there."
Sid's voice came over the intercom: "I don't think that's a good idea."
"You can post a robot outside," she retorted, and tugged at her prisoner's arm.
"Come on, Cary, you're better off talking to me."
Julie said something to her Colonel, stroked a graying temple, and he smiled
and said, "D'accord, Mon Cheri."
"I know where all the cameras are hidden in the kitchen," said PeAchM0nKy
helpfully,"We'll hang dish towels over them."
The guys and I looked at each other. Some seemed upset, others just shrugged.
We had, after all, not exactly excelled in the skirmish.
I decided whatever the girls were up to, I wasn't risking losing it all over a
hostage situation. I asked Swan to replace Roger guarding Sid, sent Roger and
Floyd to find good sniper positions outside the kitchen, preferably up high.
Dregs found a CAR-15 (a short-barreled M-16) with a scope that I'd have taken
had I known it was there, and positioned himself behind some cabinets.
Deciding my headache could interfere with accurate shooting, I replaced Swan,
since any attack on Sid was going to involve me spraying bullets everywhere,
and we had the kitchen surrounded.
The ladies had closed the door, which was steel and terribly thick, so whatever
horrid tortures they were inflicting, we didn't hear anything.
Sid checked, and sure enough, all his cameras were covered. As the night wore
on, he fell asleep. I let him sleep for a little over three hours, then woke
him up so I could rest. He gave me three hours, then I gave him three more.
Still no word from the kitchen. Deciding we were hungry, we were about to
override the door security when it finally opened.
The SWAT guys came out first, single file, everyone's hands nicely bound in
front. All but two had begun the evening with them in back. The one with the
broken arm had his unbroken arm bound to a belt loop.
The other was in an inflatable splint. Their vests were gone, one had his
sleeves ripped off, most seemed to be missing shirt buttons. They were all
smiling, and I spotted hickeys on a few necks.
"Really tortured them, huh, girls?" I said to our bleary-eyed defense force.
Some blushed, some smiled.
We had chairs set out for the prisoners, and we divided up into two groups, one
to guard them, one to go devour breakfast, then trade places.
I got stuck in the first guard squad. I sent the robots to check for hidden
weapons. Nobody had any. I was surprised.
The women had dragged some couches around in a semicircle, and were holding a
quiet conference, punctuated with laughter and whispers.
Sid finally woke up, and came wandering from his office, wiping his eyes.
I worried a little about him. He looked really worn out, and I knew I couldn't
learn enough about what he did to get us safely through this. PeAchM0nKy went
to him, guided him into the kitchen. I went to consult with Julie about him.
The pressure on him was tremendous, and if we lost him, we were lost. Julie
agreed to give him a checkup.
When my turn came to eat, I headed in and gorged after dropping a fresh packet
of powder for my poor abused brain. The guys with me and I discussed the
"torture" techniques involved in taming down that crew. I advised them that if
they were intimate with any of the ladies in question it might be best NOT to
ask too many questions.
After feasting I went back to the common area. Sid was sitting across from the
Colonel, who had been removed from his group. Roger kept his rifle aimed at the
Colonel, one of the robots stood by Sid with his laser showing, and Julie was
off to the side, possibly translating.
Apparently, a meeting of the minds was reached. Sid extended his hand to shake
the Colonel's, but Roger and I both said "NO" at the same time. He glanced at
us and withdrew it, got up and came over to me.
"They're mercenaries, of a sort. All ex-servicemen, bored with civilian life.
The Colonel got forced out without making General, so he recruited and trained
them. Said he's no good at gardening, this was his hobby."
"And who hired them?"
"The Germans."
"The Germans have their own people, and they're tremendously efficient."
"Hard to deny responsibility if it's your own people."
"True. So what now?"
"I'm sending them home. I think I can send a few of our people home at the same
time."
"So how did they get in here?"
"They were beamed in, similar to how we arrived."
"And you feel safe here, Sid?"
"For now. A remote unit was stolen and used to send them here. I had it set for
this place, but there was no readout to tell them where it is, and if you open
the case, it pours acid over itself. The tracker in the Colonel's neck was
removed in time, and I deactivated the battery. They're looking for us, but
it's a broad search."
"They?"
"The U.S., the Germans. The Russians are scrambling to gather data and get in
the game. The Japanese are working on their own version, based on research data
stolen from me before I got better at security. A Chinese agent stole it, then
decided he'd defect to Japan, sell the information, get rich, retire young."
"And everybody would love to get their hands on you. I gather these guys
weren't sent to waste everybody?"
"Apparently not. They were to capture us all. No loss of life if possible."
"And now they want to go home?"
"They only get paid if they succeed. Apparently they've decided they like some
of us too well to continue this gambit."
We exchanged a smile over that. Torture, indeed.
Sid activated his microphone.
"Attention everyone. I'm sending our Soldiers back where they came."
There was general booing from the girls, interspersed with laughter.
"I can also send six of you back to your homes with them, untraceable. As I
said before, none of the AOL hosts are safe as yet. A few others among us can't
leave yet either. I'd prefer to send people with children home first. All
volunteers please gather by the kitchen."
Kristine, our own ATTA22D, joined the group, after tears and hugs. I knew I'd
miss her upbeat attitude and spirit, but she had kids at home and one growing
in her, so it was best. A young man from another board who'd migrated to us
said he missed his kids. Next a woman with six cats and a grandson she watched
weekdays. I got the feeling Roger wanted to go, but knew we needed him.
I realized I missed my Dad, my dog, my cat, my computer, but I didn't have a
choice. I had to stay. Laura, who'd been so quiet I barely knew she was there,
announced she was staying, but she wanted one of those adorable guns for
herself. Julie announced that someone else would have to become the group
doctor, she had a husband, two kids and a dog who needed her, not to mention a
life and career. There were a few murmurs of protest, but she pointed out that
PeAchM0nKy was studying veterinary medicine, and since the males of our troupe
were more simian than human, she could take care of our injuries. I hugged her,
complimented her on the way she'd hammered her body into its current excellent
shape, and told her my knuckle-dragging self would miss her. She told me to get
a helmet or quit fighting with my head. Heidi decided, reluctantly, that she
had to get home. She said it had been fun, but the men would just have to learn
how to take care of themselves, she couldn't stick around and keep rescuing us.
Another woman I didn't know decided this was enough excitement for the rest of
her life, so yes, she was going.
We lined up our soldiers, put a departee behind each one. The Clooney looking
guy and I nodded at each other. Some kind of bonding through shared pain, I
guess. Sid did his magic with the remote, and they vanished. I thought, too
late, that it would be a good idea to remind everyone NOT to email each other
about anything, and especially not to email the soldiers some had grown fond
of.
Then, of course, the remaining group was standing at the base of a mountain
with a cold wind blowing.
"Sid?"
He looked at me, and I realized Julie hadn't had time to examine him.
He looked awfully worn down.
"Sierra Leone", he said.
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