Returning to school.. A reflection of NOT BEING ENOUGH

[Shane B. Kulman MS SpEd]

Returning to school after the holidays...  View this email in your browser

School is an interesting place... Here is a common denominator to all my school experiences: Being in trouble Fearful of getting in trouble These two occurrences, feelings, experiences, were what everythingwas based on.   Now I know know that teachers were not trained in the domain of social/emotional skills. It was not a problem to single children (me) out and ridicule them in front of their peers. It's like teachers were constantly triggered and would unleash on children when they didn't do the "right" thing. Even now if teachers have training in social emotional skills, if they are not doing in love with their profession, or doing their own social emotional work  (in their own personal lives) there is no way for them to have compassion for their students.  Are all teachers like this? No. Were all my teachers like this? Yes. The biggest impact school had on me was the feeling of not being enough. This is the truth I want you to know. As a child I constantly struggled with NOT BEING ENOUGH.  Not being smart enough to understand math, not being quiet enough, not getting on line quick enough, not having grades that were high enough, not answering questions quick enough, and so on... Knowing I would get in trouble for answering back, I sometimes took a chance and sometimes held it in.  What did this translate to? An angry child and eventually a self critical self-loathing teenager.   I constantly judged myself and comped myself to others.  I am constantly talking with and meeting with parents who explain their child as angry. When I meet these children I see  beyond anger.  I see: frustration sensitivity  passion  hurt  disappointment  Do you notice these behaviors in your child? How you feeling upon your child returning to school after this holiday break? Are you comfortable with how your child's teacher addresses his/her behaviors? Has your child verbally heard how much you support them,or do you always take the teachers word for "what happened" in a certain situation, where they got "in trouble?" I want you to know this. Your child is sensitive. Your child feels when adults are annoyed at them, even when there are no words spoken to them. Your child knows when they are causing "problems." I invite you to see beyond the surface of this. I invite  you to explore, that perhaps your child's "behaviors" are a call for help. I promise you they want to do "good" they want to please you.  Catch them doing "good" things and praise them verbally and physically. These actions create the biggest impact, and they matter. Have an easy return to school on Monday... With love, Shane  www.yourbeautifulchild.com

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Radically Relating to Your Child and Your Family Facebook Twitter Website Instagram YouTube LinkedIn Email Share Tweet Forward CLICK THE PHOTO TO SIGN UP! Shane is available for on-line and phone calls on demand. This is for a  60 minute call. Shane will be able to schedule a call that suits your time frame. This service can be used as much as you need, it is an available service for all your parenting needs. Some reasons you might use this call:  *How to handle a specific challenging behavior from your child: examples: *shifting sleep and eating habits, sibling issues, toilet training, self stimulating behaviors, (stimming) listening issues, natural consequences etc.  *Daily parenting stress *How to handle a problem with a therapist in your home *Preparing for an IEP meeting *Preparing for open school night *2nd opinion special/education   *Setting up a specific behavior modification *Toilet training question *How to deal with a uneducated family member about your child *Seeking an hour of guided meditation *Seeking guidance on how to approach teaching a new skill for your child *Whatever you need insight on, having to do with yourself, your child, and anything in between... ----------------------------------- *Imagine you have had a day of challenges with your chid; it's the same challenges that occur frequently and you know: if you could handle the challenge in another way, perhaps your child's challenge and behavior would change... *Imagine things are going "well" with your child, you know you can use these times to work with your child to have them reach their goals, wouldn't it be great to have some education insight on what to do next? *Imagine you want an hour of relaxation, and there is a day you know you DESERVE it? *Any of these scenarios are a perfect reason to book a Shane on Demand session. -------------------------------- Shane has over 15 years of experience in education, special education parent/family training and coaching. She has been a classroom teacher, special education therapist, and group teacher. Shane has been working with families for that past 8 years. She has professional certifications in early childhood, elementary education and special education.  She wants to help you through the challenging times, and offers tools that are practical and easy. It is not about changing what you do, but using another perspective to shift the situation. The goal for this call is to work with your mindset in your own framework. Nothing will change over night, but this is a great place to start.  There is NO commitment other than this call.   This is available for parents, education professionals or caregivers. Please have several options for phone times. Shane will do her best to have the call the same day.   CLICK THE PHOTO TO SIGN UP!   Copyright © 2015 Your Beautiful Child, All rights reserved.