Yes, setting a relative RPATH is really the best thing here, because libtool will be putting an absolute rpath into the binary, which means you're not able to move the installed binary around. "../lib" appears to work for you, so it may be good enough.
The Xyce team some time ago redid the way we build binaries for the team's RPMs so that they use relative RPATHS instead of absolute. The actual RPATH we use for the builds in those RPMs is "$ORIGIN/../lib" which is a linux-specific RPATH that assures the binary finds the lib directory relative to where the binary is found, even respecting any symlinks or other weirdness that might be present. Forcing "$ORIGIN" into the rpath is a tricky exercise in shell and Make escapes, though, and can take a little doing. Our configure script, when it detects the build is one of our Intel compiler builds, uses:
CXXFLAGS="'-Wl,-rpath,\$\$ORIGIN/../lib' $CXXFLAGS"
to prepend the desired RPATH setting into the existing CXXFLAGS given by the user and/or built up in the process of running configure. It might be possible for you to get it done through the configure command line similarly, but the exact string you use to pass it to the configure command line might be different. As I said, the shell and Make escapes necessary to get this passed through correctly are tricky, because both "\" and "$" are special characters in both shell and make --- so you have to escape them enough so that the right thing makes it to the right place. If you try this, you have to make sure that the resulting binary actually got the RPATH you wanted after all the shells and makefiles have finished mangling things by using "readelf -d /path/to/installed/Xyce | grep RPATH" to examine the binary.