Dear Teacher Amy Husband Activities

[Vella Massart]

DearAbby: Our daughter gave birth to an adorable little boy three years ago. We love "Connor" dearly, but my husband is obsessed with him. He wants our grandson at our house every weekend from the time we are done working on Friday until Sunday evening or Monday morning.

Dear G-Ma: How does your daughter feel about this arrangement? What about Connor's father and his paternal grandparents? Shouldn't they be getting equal time with the child, too? If your daughter is a single mother, it is unfair for her to expect her parents to baby-sit Connor every weekend.

I agree that your husband's behavior is obsessive. You deserve time for yourself, so take it. If your husband won't cooperate, schedule activities with some of your women friends. Do not allow yourself to be bullied into being an unwilling baby sitter, because it isn't healthy for any of you.

Dear Abby: I am a 13-year-old girl and I really enjoy drawing. There's a 17-year-old boy in my school, "Christopher," whom I am dying to draw. He has a wonderful profile, a fascinating smile, challenging hair that hangs over his eyes in an interesting way, great posture, grace and beautiful hands.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

Like many teachers, I feel like a failure on a regular basis. However, recently I have felt even more like I am failing all the people in my life. If you know me really well, you know I have a son with severe autism and severe cognitive delays. He is a 2-3 year old toddler trapped in a pubescent 13 year old boy. He brings me more joy and more frustration than I ever thought possible, and recently I have felt like the biggest failure when it comes to him.

You see, Brody was struggling to behave and control himself at school. We consulted his doctor and he was prescribed a low dosage of a new medicine that they assured us would help him. However, it had the opposite effect. It caused him to not be able to control himself.

Now, you may be thinking that I was being entirely too hard on myself and you are right. But the reality is that we usually are our own worst critics. Reflecting on these last few days made me realize that some of my readers may be feeling like failures in some aspects of their lives.

But, I also want to help you overcome this. So, we will interrupt my usual pedagogy and content-focused posts to bring you something a little different. I want to share with you my simple go-to strategies for when I am feeling like a failure in the different aspects of my life. Try them as-is or adapt them for your own unique needs and situations.

3.) If you have older teenage children, take them to the movies or their favorite restaurant for dinner. If they are more interested in their friends, take their best friend with you. I know that is not ideal but sometimes we have to take what we can get with older children. But, try for the alone time first. I bet even moody teenagers would jump at the chance if they got to pick the movie and the restaurant.

2.) Take a task off their plate for a day or a week. My husband takes the boys to school each morning since they attend a different school than I teach at. This allows me to sleep in an extra thirty minutes. However, when I feel like I am failing my spouse by not doing enough for him or with him, I find an opportunity to take the boys to school for him. He appreciates it and gets to sleep in and I get to spend extra time with the kids. Total win-win.

2.) If you feel like you are failing your students in a particular subject, make it a point to get to work 10 minutes earlier or stay 10 minutes later and focus on just that subject. Use that time to do whatever you feel is lacking in that subject area. That could be finding more engaging activities, taking the time to leave meaningful feedback on student work, or even just spending that extra time planning more thoughtfully.

3.) If you feel like you are failing a specific subset of students (shy students, students inclined to misbehave, struggling students, etc.), make a point to spend some time with those students in the next upcoming week. This could be pulling them during instruction to a small group for extra instruction or even just chatting with them at recess or transition times about their day.

Here is an example: At the beginning of the school year, I work very hard to nurture my reluctant readers and get them motivated and interested in reading. But as the year goes on and the stress of the standards hit me, I notice that I spend less and less time encouraging them and getting them excited about new books. When I start to realize that I am failing them, I scrap my guided reading lesson plans for the day and spend that time sharing books, discussing books, and just getting them excited about reading again.

3.) Take a nap. This is often impossible for me to find time to do, but I try to find time every now and then to slow down and take an hour nap when I feel stressed. I wake up feeling refreshed and ready to tackle my to-do list.

4.) Exercise or go for a walk. Sometimes, this is the most difficult for me to do. I think of all the million things I need to be doing instead of exercising. But, in most cases, this is just what I need. I usually compromise and take my sons with me and I get to spend time with them while doing something for myself.

What do you do when you feel like a failure with your job or your personal life? Do you do any of these strategies I shared above? Do you have others? I would love to hear what you do to help overcome feelings of failure.

I am such a fan of your blog. I often share your blog posts with colleagues. You see pedagogy in a very similar way to me and I resonate with your style of teaching. I often wonder how someone is able to balance all the demands of teaching, family, self-care, AND blogging. You are very talented and an inspiration to many.

Thank you so much, Colleen! My blog has become my pride and joy over the last few years and your kind words mean a lot to me! I am fortunate to be in a part-time position this year (and last), and that really helps me balance everything! ?

Thank you for your comment, Beverly! It makes it all worth it when I hear that my ideas and strategies are helping fellow teachers and their students. Together we are definitely better! Wishing you a great rest of the school year!

You are amazing! Thank you so much for your words of encouragement and tips. It is very easy to feel discouraged and feel like I am failing in everything. This post helped me refocus and feel determined again.

Welcome back to school. My child is so happy to be in your class this year. We know you are an excellent and dedicated teacher and you care so much about your students. I understand the beginning of school is very busy, but I wanted to tell you a little bit about my child. Although he really loves to learn, he is somewhat anxious about being back in school again.

Category: Bullying, Education, Gifted, Parenting a Gifted Child, Schools, Underachievement Tags: anxiety, asynchronous development, bullying, education, emotional intensity, family, gifted, gifted children, gifted learners, gifted students, overexcitabilities, parenting gifted children, sensitivity, underachievement in gifted children

Yes, there are some high-achieving gifted children who do well in school, have friends and feel little negative impact from their giftedness, but that is not the case for those gifted children who do suffer the negative impacts of giftedness in and out of school.

While some children are gifted, some are not. While some children are artistic, some are not. While some children are athletic, some are not. Our educational system needs to meet and honor the educational, social and emotional needs of each and every child without placing a value judgment on their needs or labels, or determine which student is better off than another. That is unfair to our children, ALL of our children regardless of their labels. Not all disabilities or conditions are academic or visible.

We need to advocate for the needs of all children without placing them in the triage of who needs their education more than another. Sadly, given the state of our public education system, some children do have to sacrifice their education for other children. How do we pick which child loses out on his education?

Thank you for leaving your thoughts because, in the end, we need to keep the discussion on giftedness an open and public one. And we need to all work for a more responsive and better-funded educational system which is equitable for all children.

I have really enjoyed this letter, comments, and responses. My forth grade son was put into the gifted program this January. He goes every Thursday. Since then, I feel his ELA teacher has been harder on him. A few times, there have been in class only assignments which have been introduced and therefore explained in greater detail with more time to work on it that particular day. She has apparently been requesting he come in before or after school to work on these assignments. He has a lot more homework now which he has been doing with little pushing. He forgets (intentionally or not) to go in the mornings. After is harder because he has karate. She has not communicated to me he was behind so I can help remind him so he will go after the bus arrives. I have written two emails to her trying to find a resolution to help him but am feeling very annoyed by the lack of responsiveness.

I know I need to set up a meeting with the ELA teacher but need to figure out the best approach. Should I include the gifted teacher or reach out to her as well? He excels in her class even the ELA portion and she is experienced with kids like mine.

Teacher, I need you!

I know I am hard to handle, and I take everything you have. I know I push your buttons in all the right ways that make you second guess what you are doing. But I need you. I need you to keep pushing me. I need you to set limits and help me understand them.

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