Foot Falls

[David Leippe]

Two men are stumbling through a forest, extremely drunk, when they come upon some tracks.

“Look,” says one of them. “Deer tracks.”

“What?” The other squints. “No, they’re elk tracks.”

“No, I’m pretty sure they’re deer tracks.”

“I’m telling you they’re elk tracks.”

By now, the two men are getting increasingly agitated. They each take a step closer to each other.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about. They’re deer tracks.”

“Are ya blind? They’re elk tracks!”

They each take another step closer, onto the tracks.

“Look, I don’t know what you think elk tracks look like, but these are clearly deer tracks!”

“If you want to disbelieve reality, that’s fine by me! But I’m telling ya, these are elk tracks!”

They’re still arguing about it when the train hits them.