Some Jokes by Comedians

[David Leippe]

Tim Vine Can Find a Compliment Anywhere
“Somebody complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said ‘Parking Fine.’ So that was nice.”

Demetri Martin’s Easy Tip for a More Restful Sleep
“I bought a new pair of pajamas with pockets, which is great, cause now I don’t have to hold things when I sleep.”

Garrison Keillor on the Sad Irony of a Nice Funeral
“They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize that I’m going to miss mine by just a few days.”

Frank Carson Must Have Gotten an Early Neuralink Brainchip
“I have a pacemaker in, but it doesn’t work very well, because every time I fart the garage door opens.”