Early Autumn Haikus

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Jerry Roth

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Oct 10, 2022, 1:11:41 PM10/10/22
to writing...@googlegroups.com, Miriam Roth, Danny Roth, Jack Mador, Marc Epstein, Andy Roth, Michael Roth, Penny Fable, Jerry Roth
Early Autumn Sights and Sounds.doc

patti santucci

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Oct 10, 2022, 2:46:13 PM10/10/22
to Jerry Roth, Writing...@googlegroups.com
EARLY AUTUMN SIGHTS AND SOUNDS I enjoyed this a lot. I can see you resting in that long chair watching all of this. I can see and feel myself doing it as well. Might change the lawn chair to a chaise lounge as you say you are lying down.

In my lawn chair (In my lawn chair, I am or Me, in my lawn chair
A lumpy sack of potatoes
lie motionless)
A lumpy sack of potatoes
lying motionless.

Leaves on a long branch
rise and fall ever so gently
in the balmy breeze

Noise of distant cars (, the or the irritating buzz)
buzzing of an annoying fly
diminish my peace

The fountain's soft sound(I think comma here since the trickling water in a brook is describing the soft sound of the fountain)
Trickling water in a brook
Flowing through my mind

Chirping in the tree(comma here)
the bird sings his arrival
saying I am here (I equate bird chirping with spring - I looked it up white crowned or gold crowned sparrows are the only birds who chirp in the fall. Who knew? Maybe insert that type of bird for the word bird or circle back to the leaves by having a golden one fall near you??)

On 10/10/2022 10:11 AM Jerry Roth <jerr...@gmail.com> wrote:




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