A few minor suggestions for Jerry's WALKING ON AIR from Jill

[jill stockinger]

                                                            WALKING ON AIR

 

                                                                                                            Jerry Roth- January 17, 2023

 

 

I floated on air, but it did not last.

Levitating above the ground in my

new shoes was exhilarating.

No longer earthbound, I hovered

between terra firma and the heavens.

Each step was an adventure in flight; (semicolon)

I defied gravity in my new Hokas,

soaring higher in the sky with each step. (You said you were above earth- so already “in the sky”)

 

I came back to earth after one week. (Drop extra period at end of line)

Despite my efforts to deny the pain,

my left foot betrayed me and began to ache.

My stork-like ability to balance

on one leg was no longer possible.

Was I destined to be grounded,

never to fly like an eagle again?

I exchanged the Hokas for a more

conventional, functional shoe.  (don’t Need “but”)

I am what I am, a man, not a bird. (Just use commas)

There is truth in the phrase, If the shoe fits, wear it.

 

Jerry--Very cute poem! I liked the wry humor. Jill