The FORM of my poem RIVER WORLD Jill

[jill stockinger]

Dear Compadres,

More than one of you suggested moving the last line into the stanza above it.

I used a very specific format for writing "River World."

My stanzas go:

6 lines

5 lines

4 lines

3 lines

2 lines

1 line

___

So I would not move lines up or down.

It would disrupt the symmetry.

I WOULD consider dropping the last line in the future, and just end on the "harmony" of a simple couplet (2 lines.)

I purposely added that last SINGLE line to actually fit a book on the DELTA for their Historical Society.

They have said they are using my poem. The book is a compilation of stories of the people of the DELTA (both groups and individuals) and the unique landscape

that shaped the history of that area (farming, fishing, being a hub of different kinds of transportation). 

So "grounding me" refers both to a Person and to land, at the same time, which I figured would "hook" the poem to their book.

I would suggest, when looking at any poem, before reading the words, to consider the visual image of the poem on the page,

to note if a visual image is being presented or a particular visual format is being utilized.

A quick scan is all it takes.  Jill

Jill Stockinger

 

River World

 

I go dreaming among the cattails,

waiting for the lift of feathers

into that cerulean blue.

My breath catches. A heron,

in blue-gray dignity, spreads

its wide wings and powers into flight.

 

Shadowed fish wriggle and push

upstream to mate and lay eggs

in the gravel of reedy shallows.

The river splashes and spins in small eddies

but its currents run strong and fast.

 

A green buzzing energy fills me.

I grow light as a balloon, then dizzy

with the growing day.

I fall asleep to the sounds of the river.

 

When I wake, lengthening shadows

deepen around me.

My hunger pulls me home

 

but I carry birdsong and blue-green water

rippling over shiny, steadfast stones,

 

grounding me.