My second poem for Thursday discussion August 31 2023 It Shined Like the Sun Jill

[jill stockinger]

I have been LABORING over this for a week and I am NOT satisfied with it.

Hoping to get suggestions that will help me improve it.

Jill

It Shined Like the Sun    by Jill Stockinger

 

When you dropped your halo,

I picked it up and tried to brush off

the dirt and leaves, then rushed

to give it back to you.

Your face became a thundercloud

and your anger cut me like a knife.

“This is beautiful and it’s yours,”

I said, bewildered. “It’s trash,”

you yelled. “No good to anyone.”

 

It burned when I understood

I had made that shiny ring; it fell

to the ground when I saw my father

deflected the blame for his mistakes

onto my drooping mother and me.

 

When the halo fell, his anger

was natural; what mortal

would not mourn the loss

of unearned radiance?

In that same instant,

I knew this universe

is a cold, uncaring place

and filled with things

moving in the shadows.

 

 

[Marian Kile]

Jill,

I just don't get the message - but you all know me - I'm too literal.

I tried to explain on the document but I even had trouble writing out what I don't understand.

Marian Kile

916-217-1053 Cell

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