Two Revisions What Can I Say? and The Eraser Please use These Thursday July 18, 2025 Jill

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jill stockinger

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Jul 16, 2024, 7:14:26 PM7/16/24

to Rennaissance writing Group, Nelson, Curt, Helen Cooper, pattis...@comcast.net, RSW Jerry Roth, Celia Mccauley, Robert L. Smith, Kaolin Fire, Max Stockinger

I decided to revise What Can I Say?

This is the newest version. Please use This for discussion on Thursday, July 18, 2024. Jill

Jill Stockinger

What Can I Say?

Some poems have metaphors mixed so strangely,
they make us readers perplexed and angry.

Poems stuffed with platitudes make us shudder.
“Such poems are tripe,” I utter,

“not worth the paper they're printed on; they
lack rhythm, they lack reason.” What more can I say?

These points are sadly beyond arguing
when we face such butchery of language! Such blundering!

Ditto for this revision of THE ERASER.

Jill Stockinger

The Eraser

My pencil scribbles sentence after sentence.

My eraser removes most of them

quickly, in repentance.

(versus)

The Eraser

My pencil scribbles sentence after sentence.

My eraser removes most of them,

doing penance

by performing these acts of repentance.

Jill!

Poem Jill What Can I Say?.docx

Poem Jill The Eraser.docx

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