Thoughts from Jill on Celia's revised poem Distance Has No Meaning

[jill stockinger]

                                                                                                                                            Dec. 8, 2022

 

Distance Has No Meaning               

 

 

between friends who love each other.

We have our past to cherish,

the present that strengthens

our friendship, and the hope

that our future will

hold more shared memories. (A future can have separate memories for you both-- you should probably say you hope they are ones you SHARE.

Future memories are not necessarily shared ones))

 

Distance had no meaning  ( Since it is AFTER this  that you met again in person, according to your last stanza)

when we chatted and shared

precious moments together

on the computer screen.   (moments implies “some short time” already, don’t need “some”)

 

Yet nothing could compare to  (need to have VERB TENSES match)

the joy and happiness we felt

when we met in an embrace

so many years later.

 

(I’d leave that last line off, the repetition of "Distance has no meaning." Still too contradictory! Great heartfelt ending this way.

Saying nothing Beats being physically present)

 

 

              by Celia Mccauley