My second poem for Thursday October 26 2023 I Dream of Love and Land: My First Ghazal Jill

[jill stockinger]

Here is the first Ghazal I have ever written.

This is for discussion on Thursday, October 26, 2023.  Jill

I Dream of Love and Land: My First Ghazal  by Jill Stockinger

 

My mind conjures visions, up late with wine,

but I grow dull and insensate with wine.

 

It is wise to be righteous and peaceful,

but it is hard to find that state with wine.

 

“Won’t you answer my frantic pleas for love?”

He hopes to open my locked gate, with wine.

 

He says suicide will end his torment.

Such weakness makes me quite irate, with wine.

 

The cricket chirps his desire in the night;

I fantasize a true lovemate, with wine.

 

The doctor cautioned, “Drink less or die young!”

but it is my expected fate, with wine.

 

Though ill, I do not trust his shaking hands;

the doctor wants to operate, with wine.

 

My forebears wandered through so many lands;

now I long for roots, an estate with wine.

 

In bars, I hear talk of revolution,

thin ice on which I will not skate, with wine.

 

Fears are falsely fanned to serve evil ends,

truth and lies hard to separate, with wine.

 

Men, pressed to fight for honor and glory,

often rise and swallow such bait, with wine.

 

Glass raised, you shout, “Jill, tell us more stories!”

No! No more tales will I relate, with wine!

 

 

 

[Sobha Kollipara]

Jill, your Ghazal is phenomenal! It deserves the three ‘Salams’ with appreciation like the ghazal poets receive after the poem is recited!

While all your couplets are great, I love this more:

My forebears wandered through so many lands;

now I long for roots, an estate with wine.

Just FYI, one of my friends, who sings Ghazals said that a ghazal should have primary/ central subject and the secondary subjects to connect with it. You brought that so well.

I am trying to write one too, inspired by you. Hopefully, will share it next week.

Sobha

Sent from my iPad

On Oct 24, 2023, at 10:43 AM, jill stockinger <jills...@gmail.com> wrote:



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<Poem Jill Class 1 Susan My First Ghazal.docx>