Please ignore question before this. I changed the ending again Question now about these 2! Jill

[jill stockinger]

I changed the beginning and ending, only.  Jill

THE REVISED POEM:

The Girl in the Field  by Jill Stockinger

 after Christina’s World by Andrew Wyeth

 

The long, faded-red cotton dress

with short, square sleeves

is cinched by a thin black belt.

She carries a splash of white

from the sun on her shoulder.

With her back to us,

little (or much) is revealed.

Set in the vast expanse

of gray, brown and orange

and subtle hints of red and green,

her body athwart the bristling grass

is like a snail heading for its shell.

Too broken to walk upright,

she pulls herself through the stubble,

ignoring pain. In the distance,

there’s the large gray ramshackle house

which fits her well.

The laundry rises and falls,

a ceaseless flapping in the wind.

Like her body.

Refusing to give in.

As she crosses the land,

does she hear words urging her forward?

Is she singing?

ORIGINAL:

The Girl in the Field  by Jill Stockinger

 after Christina’s World by Andrew Wyeth

 

Is the field in her?

Or is she in the mind of the field?

The long, faded-red cotton dress

with short, square sleeves

is cinched by a thin black belt.

She carries a splash of white

from the sun on her shoulder.

With her back to us,

little (or much) is revealed.

Set in the vast expanse

of gray, brown and orange

and subtle hints of red and green,

her body athwart the bristling grass

is like a snail heading for its shell.

Too broken to walk upright,

she pulls herself through the stubble,

ignoring pain. In the distance,

there’s the large gray ramshackle house

which fits her well.

The laundry rises and falls,

a ceaseless flapping in the wind.

Like her body.

Refusing to give in.

Do some words urge her forward 

as she crosses the land? 

Is there a song playing in her head?

       Jill Stockinger

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