After receiving comments from Nedra and Marian I reworked poem TODAY IS RESTING ON SNOW for October 10 2024 Jill

[jill stockinger]

Dear Compadres,

I ended up agreeing with both Marian and Nedra that my list of "bad surprises" in the poem was just TOO  DARK (the Inquisition, the Black Plague),

so I lightened the list considerably and made it sound a bit more Absurd. (I hope!)

 

I kept the phrase, "seven days went swimming in rain."

For some reason, it just tickles me!

It does remind me of  "The Twelve Days of Christmas" --my line could be "shoehorned in" rather easily:

• six geese a-laying
• seven days a-swimming
• eight maids a-milking
• nine ladies dancing,
• and then there's the leaping and piping, and so on!

So here's my "changed" poem:

Jill Stockinger

 

TODAY IS RESTING ON SNOW

 

while last month, seven days

went swimming in rain.

I think one nearly drowned

but we were told the moon

found it and led it to its bed

to sleep. Thinking about kind

rescues makes me kind of drowsy;

I think it would be a good idea

to stay in bed all day today.

And you should join your sweet

warmth to mine because

it’s so damned cold outside.

 

Besides, snow can be treacherous,

full of surprises, and despite

the litany through the years

of people loving surprises, most

of them have been bad–even

downright terrible, if you think

about them–and I do: the slice

of the guillotine, planes falling

out of the sky, bridges breaking,

adventurous people falling off cliffs

or getting themselves eaten by bears.

If everyone had just stayed in bed,

all that nastiness could have been

avoided. You're still nattering on

about your to-do list; I’m talking

about saving the world!