As a child, among the delightful "light humor and nonsense" poems I was given to read were these by Harry Graham Jill

[jill stockinger]

If, as a child, you missed out on reading these "delightful" poems by Harry Graham,

here are some for you to read!  If, for SOME reason, these do not "tickle your funny bone,"  DO DELETE IMMEDIATELY, if not SOONER!  Jill

Little Willie

 

Little Willie, full of glee,
Put radium in grandma’s tea.
Now he thinks it quite a lark
To see her shining in the dark.

 

***

 

Aunt Eliza

 

In the drinking-well
(Which the plumber built her)
Aunt Eliza fell —
We must buy a filter.

 

***

 

Impetuous Samuel

 

Sam had spirits naught could check,
And to-day, at breakfast, he
Broke his baby sister’s neck,
So he Shan’t have jam for tea!

 

***

Misfortunes Never Come Singly

 

Making toast at fireside,
Nurse fell in the grate and died,
And, what makes it ten times worse,
All the toast was burned with nurse.

 

***

Aunt Jane

 

Aunt Jane observed, the second time
She tumbled off a bus,
‘The step is short from the Sublime
To the Ridiculous.'

 

***

 

Tender Heartedness

 

Billy, in one of his nice new sashes,
Fell in the fire and was burnt to ashes;
Now, although the room grows chilly,
I haven't the heart to poke poor Billy.

 

***

Appreciation

 

Auntie, did you feel much pain
Falling from that apple tree?
Will you do it, please, again?
‘Cos my friend here didn't see.

 

***

Indifference

When Grandmama fell off the boat,
And couldn't swim, and wouldn't float,
Maria just sat by and smiled –
I almost could have slapped the child!

***

Compensation

Weep not for little Leonie,
Abducted by a French Marquis!
Though loss of honour was a wrench,
Just think how it’s improved her French.

***

 

Tragedy

 

That morning, when my wife eloped
With James, our chauffeur, how I moped!
What tragedies in life there are!
I’m dashed if I can start the car.

 

***

 

Accident

 

“There’s been an accident!” they said,
“Your servant’s cut in half; he’s dead.”
“Indeed!” said Mr Jones, “and please
Give me the half that’s got my keys.”

and the last one I'll send, one of the very many "Little Willy" poems:

Little Willy killed his sister;

she was dead before we missed her.

Willy's always up to tricks;

ain't he cute? he's only six!

--forwarded by Jill (that last one kept floated through my head as I washed dishes today!)