A few thoughts on Celia's poems for Thursday September 21 Jill

[jill stockinger]

A few notes and suggestions from Jill!

 

HAIKU (5-7-5)

                                                                           Ready, holding pen (because “Ready” is not holding the pen! A comma helps)

Waiting for inspiration

My brain is on “pause”

 

    LUNE (5-3-5)

   I am not alone

                                                                           Books and I (this says “books” and someone named “I” are your friends! Suggest reworking this! Jill)

        Always my best friends

 

COULD DO IT THIS WAY:

I am not alone

Books and I

always are best friends

 

TANKA (5-7-5-7-7)

 

Words, words and more words—

what should I do with them all?

Put them together?

Write stories, a long poem,  

                                                                or quit while I am ahead?  (With “am” spelled out, it has 7 syllables)

To ask if you should write a poem when you’ve already WRITTEN one doesn’t really work very well.

But it’s a SHORT one that you’ve written. OK to ask—Should I write a LONG poem, or

quit while I’m ahead (HAVING WRITTEN a short poem already!) --Jill