Second poem for Thursday November 3 2022 Sometimes Life's Like That Jill

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jill stockinger

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Oct 27, 2022, 10:06:47 PM10/27/22
to Rennaissance writing Group, Robert L. Smith, Kathleen Kauffroath, Rose Fratti, Kaolin Fire, Connie Johnstone
Just wrote this. Thought it would be interesting to play around with this format.
Not sure it is successful. The repetition may become boring for the reader?  Jill


Sometimes Life’s Like That       by Jill Stockinger

 

It is a smile

(but not really)

tethered to your face

(but not really)

that gives me courage

(but not really)

to ask earnestly for your forgiveness

(but not really)

and you say, convincingly

(but not really)

that you forgive me

(but not really)

and we go on being a loving couple

(but not really).

 

Then one day arrives

(really)

and you say you are tired of half-truths and lies

(really)

and it is time to end this sad affair

(really).

Surprised that I feel confused

(really),

I ask, “Where will you go?”

(really)

and you say, “Anywhere but here,”

(really)

and I ask, “Really?”

And you say, “Really.”

And it’s over, just like that.

 

I say, “I’m sorry it’s ending this way,”

(but not really)

and you leave California for New York

(really)

and two years later, I get a newspaper clipping

(really)

saying you're getting married

(really)

and I don’t like the looks of the fellow

(really)

but I think maybe it’s just the photo

(but not really).

 

I send a cheap present along with my best wishes

(but not really)

and I tell myself I had a narrow escape

(but not really).

As real as all that.

 

 

 

 

Poem Jill Sometimes Life's like That.docx

Helen Cooper

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Oct 29, 2022, 9:12:33 PM10/29/22
to jill stockinger, Rennaissance Writing Group
I leally like the concept - it's intriguing, but it does get a bit too repetitive. I have attached a version that keeps the first two stanzas as you wrote them but changes the others to lighten it a bit - just some thoughts that you can continue to play with.

Helen

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Sometimes Life's like That HC.docx
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