my testament about Decloaking

[Jean]

Where do I begin to tell about my Decloaking experience? This last
year and a bit, since I retired, had been ugly. Nothing that I had
thought I would be able to do worked out. Everything became a trial.
I was always angry. Nothing felt right or comfortable. Then I had a
talk with my
niece who had done Decloaking and CODE Model Training. I found myself
crying and I didn’t know why. And I wanted to throw up. That was
typical for me. I had reached to point where I would throw up
violently on average three times a day. And my niece asked me,
“Auntie Jeanie,
what is it that you can’t swallow anymore?” And it hit me hard – I
wasn’t able to use food to pack down my emotions anymore. I wasn’t
able to talk myself into ways of coping that had always worked
before. And I decided almost immediately that it was time, now, [not
2 years ago
when my sister first suggested that I do this, but now] for me to
experience Decloaking for myself.

So I made the arrangements, got everything together, and went. I
decided to go to Nova Scotia for this experience. I knew that I had
to be away from my comfort zone. Now, for me to decide to do this on
my own is very big. I don’t like traveling on my own. I don’t like
not knowing
what to expect. I hate the thought of being lost. So – to face
those fears is still a big thing. It told me how important going to
do this for myself really was.

Decloaking is not like any ‘course’ I had ever taken. Being a retired
teacher, I’m used to expecting handouts, and lectures, and practice
scenarios. I’m used to timed content delivery where the information
is delivered in a specific order controlled by the course conductor.
I’m
used to strategy driven courses which teach me ‘how to’ do something.
Would this course be like that? Strategies to ‘fix’ myself?

Meeting in a chalet on the top of a hill in Nova Scotia told me that
what I was about to experience was not going to resemble any course I
had every taken before. Yes, there is ‘content’ but how it is
presented to the participants in this program is not fixed. It
evolves from the discussions, and questions, and realizations and
lives of the participants there.

Decloaking is an experience like no other. A group of women meet for
an intimate and beyond intense opportunity to change themselves from
the inside out. We are all present to each other and to ourselves for
5 days. The women who facilitate this are not Buddha on the
mountaintop.
They are guides on the side. They are fully present to everyone
there. They guide and mentor, listen, honor, provide space, time, and
a safe place for each participant to begin her own process of
Decloaking.

So what did I gain from Decloaking? A safe place to let my emotions
out -- those emotions which I had tried so hard to manage and control
and tamp down all my life and which were choking me. There was no
judgement from anyone there. No one told me that it would all go
away. No one told me that it was all in my head. No one told me to
shut up or to go away when my emotions got messy. What I received was
the gift of a group of 7 other women who honored what I was feeling
and who gave me the space to feel all of it. And I didn’t feel
embarrassed by the intensity of my emotions.

A transformative experience. Yes, it was therapeutic but it was not
therapy. There was no one trying to analyze what I said to help me
see what it might mean. There was no one there whose intention was to
‘fix’ me. The only true therapist there for me was me. I was and
continue to be my own healer.

An immediate sense of connection to the power which I hold and have
always held but which I had learned to distrust. In those five days,
I had the wonderful gift of being able to meet myself on a quantum
cellular level. It felt like I was at my own re-birth.

I know that I am not the same woman I was before I went to Nova
Scotia. I cry when things move me. I get angry when things provoke
me. I laugh lots. I’m not embarrassed by my emotions anymore. I
notice things around me more. I listen more intently. I’m more
present to my world but, most importantly, to myself. And it
continues – sometimes I notice changes in me in dramatic ways,
sometimes the fact that something has changed strikes me quietly and
after the fact.

For any woman who engages in Decloaking, be prepared for change. And
don’t be afraid of change. Know that you are stronger and more
powerful than you might have ever thought you could be. Be open for
whatever moves in you as you listen to your body. Know that you are
safe. Know that you are honored. Trust the process to unfold as it
chooses to. Let go and you will find who you truly are. You will be
transformed.

Decloaking was and is the best thing I’ve every done for myself.

[Melissa]

When I read your words, I am reminded about Godforces, how we are each
one and what opportunities can be created when we hold ourselves and
everyone else as a Godforce.

Specifically, you mention there being no judgement from anyone there,
no one placating and saying it would all go away and no one trying to
analyze or fix you. As you say, you are and continue to be your own
healer. For me, I feel that you knowing this and the women in
Decloaking trusting and knowing that there is nothing to fix is one of
the most beautiful and tangible experiences of honouring the Godforce
that is you.

I recently had a discussion with someone who likes to "help" people,
be the person that everyone turns to, and the person who does things
for others. And what came to me, and I shared my perspective, is that
always jumping to "help" presupposes that the person is either not
able to sustain themselves or at the very least not able or willing to
speak on their own behalf and ask for help and support when they need
it. And on the flip side is also presupposes that being helpful and
doing things makes us valuable, which presupposes that we need to be
valuable instead of simply BEING.

This notion that things are right or wrong, that people are somehow
incomplete and therefore need something/someone external, makes me sad
and I would say feels like a tragedy. And since "tragedy" or "tragic"
is the word that popped in my head, I just looked up some of the
synonyms and the word that best fits for me is heartbreak. For me it
is hearbreaking to see people being unaware and disconnected from
their own awesomeness. And it's also joyful and powerful to see
people reconnecting to the truth themselves as a Godforce. This is
what comes up for me when I read your words about your experience on
the mountain top, being surrounded by women, part of a profoundly
intimate experience and discovering that you are your own healer.