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Let's get very clear on something - being able to talk graphically about sex and share your experiences doesn't mean you're a sexually liberated woman.

Being sexually liberated means that you truly like and own your own sexuality. It means you know how to ask for the kind of mood, behavior, touch etc. that will bring you sexual gratification just as much as you know how to perform sexually for someone else.

But a vast number of women confuse the two. They believe being sexually liberated means that guys find you hot, men love to engage in sexual flirting with you, and you've slept with a lot of men. They confuse the rush of a man's sexual interest in the initial stages of a relationship with true power.


All Men Want Is Sex? Maybe It's Your Sexual Bragging

Sex sells, there's no doubt about it. But using your sexuality in an overt and over the top manner to attract men means that's what men are going to focus on about you - sex. That goes for everything from your profile on a dating site, to how to speak and communicate with a man, and of course, how you behave on dates.

Now if all you're looking for is a little recreational sex, that's fine, you'll certainly get it. But if in your heart of hearts you're looking for a great romance, and a long term relationship, it's a strategy that's bound to fail.

But before I go further I need to clarify a point. Being sexy is great, men love sexy women and love to both date and marry them. But there's a fine balance women savvy about love always keep in mind. They know that a sexy appearance engages a man's imagination, but speaking about sex and sharing your experience in most men's minds equals foreplay.

Also, something else you need to remember about men is that they can compartamentalize their lives much more easily than most women can. Sex can just be about sex. What confuses women is that men will often appear to be interested in "more" with a woman when the flirting begins, and experienced men even more so.

They know that pushing you too hard to get naked might scare you off, so they act like they really want to get to know you - but unfortunately, if they found you too sexually alluring in the beginning, and if you played the role of being the sexual extrovert, sex is all they really have in mind.


Bragging About Sex

Yes men are competetive. Yes men love the chase. If you're a popular girl and he knows you've got a lot of guys calling he'll fight even more for the chance to spend time with you, but guys don't want to think about the sex you've had with other men when they get naked with you for a relationship - for a few times, it doesn't matter.

If you brag about the great blow jobs you give he'll probably sleep with you out of curiosity, but when he calls again (most likely late at night) it'll be for a booty call. For a relationship he just doesn't want to know that many particulars. He may ask, which is confusing again, but he doesn't really want to know very much.

Let me put it into a perspective that will make it easier for you to understand and remember. We women are almost always curious about the women looked like a man has dated before us, especially if it was a serious "relationship."

But if we push too hard for a physcial description of the woman and find out she was a size smaller than we are, or if he admits he thought "she was the love of my life" we secretly begin a competition with this woman in our own minds and hearts because suddenly we're afraid we don't quite measure up.

We fear our new guy is comparing us in his head and that we're falling short, fat, and unattractive.

If you keep that in mind in the intial flirtation with a new man it'll keep you from spilling too many sexual beans about yourself, and will keep his focus on the entire package of wonderful you.

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