Finally Got Book-
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Jan Swisher
Jan 20, 2012, 1:04:29 PM1/20/12
to whoahprah-whi...@googlegroups.com
Hi, everyone. Just wanted to say I just got the book and can't wait to start reading it tonight when I get home from work! I wasn't able to get it from the library so I bought it at a book store today. I'm looking forward to our discussions about it!
Jan from Virginia
-----Original Message-----
>From: Peanut <cer...@frontier.com>
>Sent: Jan 8, 2012 9:02 AM
>To: WHOAprah Whinny Book Club <whoahprah-whi...@googlegroups.com>
>Subject: Re: Introductions?
>
>Thank you for telling me about it. I am really partial to the high
>desert country; I'll keep an eye on this blog. :)
>
>On Jan 7, 7:36 pm, j.hunting...@q.com wrote:
>> Hi Cera....Oregon is beautiful. Have you looked at Life at the Rough String? It's a beautiful blog from a taanted writer and photographer in eastern Oregon.
________________________________________
PeoplePC Online
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http://www.peoplepc.com
akm...@comcast.net
Jan 20, 2012, 1:48:38 PM1/20/12
to whoahprah-whi...@googlegroups.com
Good news Jan. I'm about half way through. This should make for some "interesting" discussions!
Gabe
From: "Jan Swisher" <jswis...@peoplepc.com>
To: whoahprah-whi...@googlegroups.com
Sent: Friday, January 20, 2012 1:04:29 PM
Subject: Finally Got Book-
From: "Jan Swisher" <jswis...@peoplepc.com>
To: whoahprah-whi...@googlegroups.com
Sent: Friday, January 20, 2012 1:04:29 PM
Subject: Finally Got Book-
j.hunt...@q.com
Jan 20, 2012, 1:56:46 PM1/20/12
to whoahprah-whi...@googlegroups.com
It's creeping me out, just a bit. I'm looking at the people around me in a whole new light....
----- Original Message -----
From: "Jan Swisher" <jswis...@peoplepc.com>
To: whoahprah-whi...@googlegroups.com
Peanut
Jan 22, 2012, 12:40:22 AM1/22/12
to WHOAprah Whinny Book Club
I think I had a close call with a murderous sociopath years ago.
Since reading this book, I recognize other sociopaths in my past - I
just didn't know it at the time. Very creepy.
Since reading this book, I recognize other sociopaths in my past - I
just didn't know it at the time. Very creepy.
j.hunt...@q.com
Jan 22, 2012, 7:11:40 AM1/22/12
to whoahprah-whi...@googlegroups.com
How's that for a discussion opener?
Who have we known up close and personal that fits the criteria outlined in this book?
Are there "near-sociopaths?"
quasi-sociopaths?"
wannabe-sociopaths?"
----- Original Message -----
From: "Peanut" <cer...@frontier.com>
To: "WHOAprah Whinny Book Club" <whoahprah-whi...@googlegroups.com>
Deborah Walker
Jan 22, 2012, 1:02:02 PM1/22/12
to whoahprah-whi...@googlegroups.com
One of my aunts was a sociopath for sure. She died about a year ago. I don't know if I should share the details, but she was pure evil, a liar, abusive, and she never seemed to care how she affected people around her. Especially her children. I am very close to her daughter, and I can tell you, being an adult and deciding (finally) that you are not to blame, and that it is your mother who is evil, is a very difficult thing to do. My mother never go it, but I heard about (and witnessed) enough of the things her sister did to her, that I believe my mother and some of her other siblings were also abused by their sister, in ways that affected them for the rest of their lives.
She was always very good at knowing how to buy people off. As a
final act, she arranged her own memorial service and the dinner following it. It was held at a venue normally used for wedding receptions, and there was an open bar. After her daughter and I drank a bottle of wine (good stuff) we went in the bathroom and sang "ding dong the witch is dead." Maybe I shouldn't admit that, we swore no one else would know, but my aunt is the main reason I bought and read the book. And spite of the fact that she bought everyone a fancy dinner, and all the drinks we wanted, absolutely no one shed a tear.
From: "j.hunt...@q.com" <j.hunt...@q.com>
To: whoahprah-whi...@googlegroups.com
Sent: Sunday, January 22, 2012 7:11 AM
Subject: Re: Finally Got Book-
Peanut
Jan 25, 2012, 1:09:40 AM1/25/12
to WHOAprah Whinny Book Club
My scariest contact with a sociopath happened years ago when I lived
in Butte, Mt. My husband at the time was selling a Harley. We had no
phone, and one day a guy showed up at the front door to buy the
motorcycle. I (stupidly) told him that my husband was out of town for
a couple of days, but if he left his phone number, I would have my
husband call when he returned. The guy walked into my house (I was
standing in the doorway, but he surprised me and I just got out of his
way). BUT a former boss that I had interned for in college was
sitting in my living room - he had come to tell me about a job. The
guy stopped, gave me his phone number and left. I really didn't think
much of it at the time.
My husband sold him the Harley a few days later; a couple of weeks
later, the FBI contacted my husband about the man that bought the
motorcycle. He was implicated (by a partner in crime) in the rape and
murder of a woman I went to college with; she had disappeared from her
night job a few weeks earlier. Eventually her body was found dumped
in the mountains - bound and gagged. Apparently the guy bought the
motorcycle to get out of town and had gone to California. Only then
did it hit me that I probably came really close to being murdered for
a motorcycle. My former boss was only at the house for about 20
minutes - the only time he was ever at my house - so I was really
lucky!
in Butte, Mt. My husband at the time was selling a Harley. We had no
phone, and one day a guy showed up at the front door to buy the
motorcycle. I (stupidly) told him that my husband was out of town for
a couple of days, but if he left his phone number, I would have my
husband call when he returned. The guy walked into my house (I was
standing in the doorway, but he surprised me and I just got out of his
way). BUT a former boss that I had interned for in college was
sitting in my living room - he had come to tell me about a job. The
guy stopped, gave me his phone number and left. I really didn't think
much of it at the time.
My husband sold him the Harley a few days later; a couple of weeks
later, the FBI contacted my husband about the man that bought the
motorcycle. He was implicated (by a partner in crime) in the rape and
murder of a woman I went to college with; she had disappeared from her
night job a few weeks earlier. Eventually her body was found dumped
in the mountains - bound and gagged. Apparently the guy bought the
motorcycle to get out of town and had gone to California. Only then
did it hit me that I probably came really close to being murdered for
a motorcycle. My former boss was only at the house for about 20
minutes - the only time he was ever at my house - so I was really
lucky!
Peanut
Jan 25, 2012, 1:46:55 AM1/25/12
to WHOAprah Whinny Book Club
Here are my experiences with less dangerous people that might have
been sociopaths.
These ones I'm not sure about - I do not know for sure if they are
missing a conscience.
The former CEO of a company I worked for is a possibility. He could
be charming if he wanted to be, he would definitely try to intimidate
people (including a Dept. of Labor official that I later talked to).
He was wealthy and quick to threaten lawsuits if you crossed him. He
did not always pay companies that he had hired for their services. I
heard tales of him warning his sales team that they had better improve
their sales - as he was cleaning his gun during a meeting. At one
point, he 'converted' us from being full time employees to contractors
- telling us we should be grateful for all the sacrifices he made for
us. He did not always actually put all of our 401k money into our
401k accounts. He was based in Louisiana - as we listened to him on
the speaker phone in Portland, we would keep score on the whiteboard
for how many times he hurled the F word at us.
I dated a guy (only for about 6 weeks), and at first I was fairly
smitten. He was definitely a narcissist, possibly a sociopath. He
used to tell me derogatory things that his buddy said about me. He
broke up with me by simply refusing to return my phone calls.
Eventually I realized how lucky I was that he had dumped me; at some
point I would have had to extricate myself from him. A few months
after he dumped me there was a newspaper series about all of the
people whose money he had taken without providing the services they
paid for. He was definitely a con man, and dated a lot of women.
From some things he said to me, I later decided that he was mainly
spending time with me because I had a steady job. He contacted me
once about 6 months later, and immediately tried to excuse his
behavior with a pity play.
The current possible sociopath in my life is the son of the barn
owners where I work. He really reminds me of Luke in the book - the
guy who married so that he could lounge around by the pool. This guy
is in his 40s and still lives with his parents. There is a 'creep'
factor to him, and he is constantly whining and trying to make you
feel sorry for him. I help his mother clean stalls on Sundays -
originally it was his job, but he does such a crappy job and complains
so much, that his mother probably finds it easier to clean them
herself. His sister told their mother that he had dangled her from a
second story landing when she was a child - her mother said "he would
never do that!". I was amazed that she would did not believe her
daughter - the mother is a good person, but she really has a blind
spot when it comes to him. When I was caring for the barn when his
parents were out of town, I saw him shooting squirrels from a bedroom
window.
Sorry to be so long winded! It seems hard to know if people are
sociopaths. According to the book they can be excellent actors and
charming at times. Since their thinking is so foreign to the rest of
us, we tend to make excuses for their behavior because it doesn't make
sense. Maybe the people I mentioned above are just 'odd'.
been sociopaths.
These ones I'm not sure about - I do not know for sure if they are
missing a conscience.
The former CEO of a company I worked for is a possibility. He could
be charming if he wanted to be, he would definitely try to intimidate
people (including a Dept. of Labor official that I later talked to).
He was wealthy and quick to threaten lawsuits if you crossed him. He
did not always pay companies that he had hired for their services. I
heard tales of him warning his sales team that they had better improve
their sales - as he was cleaning his gun during a meeting. At one
point, he 'converted' us from being full time employees to contractors
- telling us we should be grateful for all the sacrifices he made for
us. He did not always actually put all of our 401k money into our
401k accounts. He was based in Louisiana - as we listened to him on
the speaker phone in Portland, we would keep score on the whiteboard
for how many times he hurled the F word at us.
I dated a guy (only for about 6 weeks), and at first I was fairly
smitten. He was definitely a narcissist, possibly a sociopath. He
used to tell me derogatory things that his buddy said about me. He
broke up with me by simply refusing to return my phone calls.
Eventually I realized how lucky I was that he had dumped me; at some
point I would have had to extricate myself from him. A few months
after he dumped me there was a newspaper series about all of the
people whose money he had taken without providing the services they
paid for. He was definitely a con man, and dated a lot of women.
From some things he said to me, I later decided that he was mainly
spending time with me because I had a steady job. He contacted me
once about 6 months later, and immediately tried to excuse his
behavior with a pity play.
The current possible sociopath in my life is the son of the barn
owners where I work. He really reminds me of Luke in the book - the
guy who married so that he could lounge around by the pool. This guy
is in his 40s and still lives with his parents. There is a 'creep'
factor to him, and he is constantly whining and trying to make you
feel sorry for him. I help his mother clean stalls on Sundays -
originally it was his job, but he does such a crappy job and complains
so much, that his mother probably finds it easier to clean them
herself. His sister told their mother that he had dangled her from a
second story landing when she was a child - her mother said "he would
never do that!". I was amazed that she would did not believe her
daughter - the mother is a good person, but she really has a blind
spot when it comes to him. When I was caring for the barn when his
parents were out of town, I saw him shooting squirrels from a bedroom
window.
Sorry to be so long winded! It seems hard to know if people are
sociopaths. According to the book they can be excellent actors and
charming at times. Since their thinking is so foreign to the rest of
us, we tend to make excuses for their behavior because it doesn't make
sense. Maybe the people I mentioned above are just 'odd'.
j.hunt...@q.com
Jan 25, 2012, 6:29:09 AM1/25/12
to whoahprah-whi...@googlegroups.com
That just froze me.
Brings up a question for our discussions though.
Are all murderers and rapists sociopaths?
Brings up a question for our discussions though.
Are all murderers and rapists sociopaths?
----- Original Message -----
From: "Peanut" <cer...@frontier.com>
To: "WHOAprah Whinny Book Club" <whoahprah-whi...@googlegroups.com>
Sent: Tuesday, January 24, 2012 11:09:40 PM
Subject: Re: Finally Got Book-
akm...@comcast.net
Jan 25, 2012, 6:42:18 AM1/25/12
to whoahprah-whi...@googlegroups.com
Peanut, I guess you can thank your lucky star that things went the way they did! Talk about chances lining up.
To Mugs' question, I'd have to re-ask one of her original quiries, are there degrees? I would have to think, not really, either you have a consience or you don't. To my way of thinking, the lack of consience is in some way, tempered by other personality traits, quirks.
Just thoughts.
Peanut
Jan 25, 2012, 3:12:24 PM1/25/12
to WHOAprah Whinny Book Club
Yes - I was so lucky!
I agree - it seems like you either have a conscience of don't, but the
book talks about people suspending their conscience if they're under
the sway of an authoritative sociopath like Hitler for example.
Probably a lot of murderers are sociopaths, but in the case of a
murder / suicide it doesn't seem so likely. Why would someone that
feels no remorse kill himself? I'm unsure about rapists - although it
seems like rape would often be about controlling another person, and
that seems to be a favorite of sociopaths. It seems like sociopaths
are good at getting people to question their own sense of reality.
I agree - it seems like you either have a conscience of don't, but the
book talks about people suspending their conscience if they're under
the sway of an authoritative sociopath like Hitler for example.
Probably a lot of murderers are sociopaths, but in the case of a
murder / suicide it doesn't seem so likely. Why would someone that
feels no remorse kill himself? I'm unsure about rapists - although it
seems like rape would often be about controlling another person, and
that seems to be a favorite of sociopaths. It seems like sociopaths
are good at getting people to question their own sense of reality.
Jan Swisher
Jan 26, 2012, 1:35:48 PM1/26/12
to WHOAprah Whinny Book Club
Hi, guys!
I posted some of my comments on the book over on the Google group. Hope you can read it.
Jan from Virginia
-----Original Message-----
>From: Peanut <cer...@frontier.com>
>Sent: Jan 25, 2012 3:12 PM
>To: WHOAprah Whinny Book Club <whoahprah-whi...@googlegroups.com>
>Subject: Re: Finally Got Book-
>
Jan Swisher
Jan 26, 2012, 1:37:46 PM1/26/12
to WHOAprah Whinny Book Club
Hi, again!
Okay, I now see that the comments I entered on the Google group, turned into email messages! sorry about that - I don't know how to submit comments that won't turn up in all of our email boxes!! Oh, well.
Jan in Virginia
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