7Yo Girl Takes Daddy For First Time1
Phuong Fulsom
We are currently trying to train our 4.5 month old to take a bottle. I've read through a lot of posts on BPN that have been really helpful for this. We've been relying on different family members (partner, MIL, etc) trying to give the bottle. We even tried one full day of just "bottle feeding" and she only took 2 oz. It's been a difficult journey. Reading about other people's experiences here makes me feel less alone.
I'm looking for a nanny or caregiver who would take a short term contract to bottle train. Specifically, a nanny who has had success in doing this before. Do you have any recommendations or advice on this? Will a nanny take a short term contract to do this?
I tried all the different bottles out there. Different milk temperatures and positions until I found something that works or maybe baby just gave up and drank it.
Good luck and hope you can resolve this quickly!
We had a hard time introducing a bottle around 4.5 months as well. I know this is not quite what you are asking, but have you seen a lactation consultant? I highly suggest seeing Molly at East Bay Lactation Consultants ( ). She has a "bottle feeding" session type you can sign up for. She has tons of experience with babies in the same situation and the help she gave us was invaluable to getting my son to take a bottle (in the end, we went straight to a silicone sippy cup at 5 months for various reasons, at Molly's suggestion). Molly bottle fed him in her office so we could observe how she did it, pointed out key observations about his reactions, and gave us lots of great suggestions and a schedule to try things out at home. She was also available via text message and phone for follow ups. I also read a lot of information but sometimes it takes in-person expertise to make it happen and I highly suggest seeing her! Our visits were covered by our insurance so you may want to check with yours.
Something to consider: skip the bottle all together and introduce a sippy cup (one that does not require sucking, rather just dribbles). My second child took to this starting around 4 months when she started finger foods. It was messy and slow at first, but she got the hang of it. For her, I think it was helpful to have something completely different than a substitute for the breast.
Hi, sorry you're going through this. We had the same problem. We did a few things that dramatically helped:
- made sure the milk was as close to "human" temperature as possible
- we changed the nipple from slow-flow to medium-flow
- used silicone ola-baby bottle
- paced-feeding (google it and you'll find tips)
- mom never bottle-feeds baby. I'm always the one who does it
It took us 2 weeks of consistent practice. I always needed my wife's assistance because bebe protested so much. After 2 weeks she got the idea and now she loves the bottle. It's our daddy-daughter bonding time.
wondering if any of you have any wisdom to share on how to bottle feed a 3 month old who now refuses a bottle? Someone recommended East Bay Lactation Associates. Do any of you have any experience working with them? Particularly in regards to bottle feeding?
A baby refusing a bottle usually means something else is going on. I highly recommend you look into bottle aversion. Some symptoms include: crying at the bottle, spit up, back arching when feeding, refusing the bottle (often turning head away), only feeding when drowsy. Some questions to think about - Does you baby turn its head when presented with the bottle? Does it take a minimum out of the bottle and then refuse to drink more? Are you worried about how much milk it is drinking? Check out this article: -feeding/feeding-aversion. If it sounds like this might be the case, I highly recommend you read Rowena Bennett's book on the subject. Life changing for my daughter who had bottle aversion coming out of the NICU. Bennett's book has a specific plan for overcoming the aversion and it really works (follow the rules strictly - even though it will be hard for you, the parent). Feel free to DM me for more details and guidance.
East Bay Lactation consultants were absolute life-savers! I was struggling with breastfeeding my daughter at 5 weeks and was bottle-feeding to supplement, and they worked with me on both the breastfeeding and bottle feeding. Incredibly thorough and helpful, I highly recommend them.
Hi yes, I worked with EBLA, particularly Molly, and Laura, before she went independent ( ). I would definitely recommend them. I saw 5 lactation consultants after my son was born, and EBLA were the best. I don't know if they still do it during the pandemic, but their weekly breastfeeding groups were so good for us when we were struggling and feeling so alone. We had different issues, but there were people in the group at the time that were struggling with bottle feeding, so they might be a good fit for you.
Our 8 month old had feeding issues early on (not bottle refusal, though), and East Bay Lactation Consultants was recommended by our pediatrician. They were fine (we worked with Molly), but not earth-shattering. Molly was nice and knowledgeable and offered to be available via text or email, but also seemed a bit disorganized/over-scheduled. Also, EBLC is generally not included in your insurance. Unless you have a Cadillac policy with a big company (luckily we did), expect to pay out of pocket. Unless your option is UCSF, you might want to consider someone in network. UCSF was horrible for many reasons and I strongly recommend against them if you can avoid it.
For what it's worth about bottle refusal, I have a friend whose kiddo consistently refused a bottle until she went back to work (around 6 months) and he literally had no other option. He began bottle feeding pretty quickly when he got hungry enough. I know that's not a fun feeling, though!
Our lactation consultant through UCSF was incredibly helpful and invaluable for breastfeeding, but I didn't find them especially helpful for bottle feeding unfortunately. Perhaps the East Bay group will be different, but just sharing my experience.
Bottle feeding was difficult for us for a while at that age. I tried to give our daughter 1 bottle a day, and the rest was breastfed. It was the consistency that helped, just sticking with it. But it was very difficult at times.
Some tips from the lactation consultants that did help a bit: avoid distractions if that's the problem, or use distractions to your advantage if it's more of a latching issue (sometimes getting their mind off of the bottle can just let them latch easier), try some music/singing, have mom leave the house completely. If neither of these help, consider hiring a nanny or an experienced baby sitter to give it a try for a few days in a row. Often a "dispassionate" person doing the feeding can have better luck establishing the patterns. For us at least.
Hi - I had a very positive experience working with EBLA for breastfeeding. Turns out that the info I was given by the L&D and NICU nurses was off-base. I recommend emailing/talking with them. I worked with Janaki.
I worked with East Bay Lactation associates back in 2020 when I had a newborn. It was for general feeding issues, but they were very good. They also give you documentation to submit for insurance reimbursement for lactation support. I think that would extend to bottle feed.
We used Paula Santi with our baby when she was refusing a bottle. She really helped and our baby takes the lansinoh bottle now. That bottle seems to be one that lactation consultants recommend for babies who have difficulty with the bottle.
This was my daughter. I had my friends try, I had grandma try after I left the house, I tried switching from breast to bottle, I withheld the boob for one feeding. NOTHING. This was at 4 months with my return to work date looming. I remembered my night doula who had successfully bottle fed my daughter and asked her to come back and do it.
She held my daughter in the normal bottle feeding pose, held one arm against her own chest firmly, and held the other arm firmly against the baby's body. Then held baby firmly so that she wasn't flailing her head. To be clear, this wasn't some weirdo wrestling pose with forced strength, she just held her so that she couldn't easily escape and flail around with her arms and head. My daughter took the bottle, nanny and grandma were trained, and that was the end of that.
Give it a try. May not work for everyone, but after the stress this caused me, I couldn't believe the answer was so simple. She had no other issues with feeding. Just had to be taught and do it on her own time (to this day, this is my kid about everything).
I am a new parent of a three month old girl. I have one more month of maternity leave left and I'm having a difficult time getting her to take a bottle. She is breast fed exclusively and I have pumped since she was six weeks old. However, she has taken the bottle only a few times. She doesn't like pacifiers either and we've tried every bottle/nipple out there. I've also tried spoon feeding her, sippy cups, warm/hot milk, etc. My biggest concern is when she has to go to daycare. I'm out of ideas and pressed for time! Any suggestions or advice? Thanks! L
This sounds like my daughter exactly. She never used a pacifier, I breastfed exclusively, I tried to pump and give her an occasional bottle but after about 2 or 3 weeks of age she would not take a bottle at all and I gave up until she was around 3 months and I tried again because I had to go back to work soon like you but I had no luck. I bought every nipple manufactured and tried all of the things in the baby books. When she was 4 months old I had to start working. I took her to the daycare in the morning, came back 3 hours later during lunch to breastfeed, went back to work for 3 hours and then picked her up for the day because that was all that was really feasible. Simultaneously, I would send a small bottle of pumped milk to the daycare every day and an angel of a woman who took care of her worked with my daughter a little bit every day to get her to take the bottle. It is all such a blur now several years later and I can't remember exactly how long it took (about a month maybe less?) but she got her to take the bottle. Once she would take a bottle at daycare and she was drinking more I started giving her formula because the nature of my work made it impossible to pump. I still breastfed at home but the less I nursed the more formula she drank which led to her quitting the breast on her own at about 7 months. You can do it but it is going to be several weeks of uncertainty which is very uncomfortable in this situation. Have patience and ask your daycare to help you and work with you. They deal with this all the time they don't expect your daughter to come in being totally bottle trained, at least I hope they don't. It feels heart breaking now but it is a short period of time in the grand scheme of things and your daughter will be OK. You should try to work something out with your employer for the first month or so to have some flexibility while dealing with the transition. Good luck! anon
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